“Sure, what the hell.” Vlad let the kid take the picture and gave him a signed puck to take with him, too.
“Thanks, man. You have no idea how much this will mean to him. He’s had a rough couple of months. I hope your hip’s feeling better.”
“Thanks. It’s getting better every day.” The kid nodded at him and then got busy carrying out Vlad’s old furniture.
After the delivery guys left, it was time for dinner. It was a little awkward, eating alone with Crystal in his place, but not as bad as the other times they were without Zoe and other people around.
“Do you want to watch TV while I clean up in here, Crystal?”
“No. That’s okay.” She continued to simply sit at the table watching him.
“Do you want to call your friend?”
“It’s Sunday, and she’s with her father this weekend. Her parents are divorced.”
Shit. What am I supposed to do with her?
“Um, what do you want to do?”
“Is it okay if I take the hockey blanket from the couch and sit on the patio to play?”
“Sure. Maybe I’ll bring you some hot chocolate when I’m done here.”
She got up and moved toward the living room to grab the blanket. “Okay.”
Vlad made a quick phone call to Zoe as soon as Crystal walked outside. “Hey, gorgeous.”
“Hi.” Zoe was out of breath. “How was your day?”
“Been running, have you?” Vlad could just picture her standing in the kitchen, drinking a glass of water as sweat glistened over her. If he closed his eyes, he could visualize a tiny bead of moisture running down her neck, disappearing into her sports bra—simply sliding down to the Promised Land.
“Vlad? Are you there?”
He cleared his throat and snapped his eyes open, trying in vain to refocus his thoughts. “Oh—yeah.”
Zoe laughed, obviously knowing exactly where Vlad’s thoughts had gone. “You’re thinking about me naked, aren’t you?”
“Sort of. What are you wearing? Sports bra? Those tight running shorts?” He reached down to adjust himself so that he was more comfortable.
“Not anymore. I’m getting ready to hop in the shower. I have nothing on. Nothing. And I’m a little chilly. You know what that means. Hard … as … diamonds.” Zoe loved to torture Vlad.
“Jesus, Zoe. Do you have to say things like that when I have an eight year old sitting out on the patio? I’m getting hard … as … diamonds, too, thank you.”
“So you wouldn’t want me to say, touch myself, right? Just slide my hand down over my breasts?” Zoe let out a low moan. “Slide them down until I can rub myself while I think about you fucking me?”
“Zoe! What’s gotten into you tonight?” Vlad liked where her thoughts were, but not that he couldn’t do anything to ease them both.
“I don’t know. I am just really, really horny. God, I hate that word, but I am.”
Vlad heard the hitch in her voice. “You’re still touching yourself, aren’t you?”
“Mmm hmm. I can’t help it—feels so good.”
Vlad sneaked a peek behind him to make sure Crystal was still content on the patio. She’d taken a couple of dolls out with her and was playing with them on the lounge chair.
“Fuck me, I wish I was there. You know what I would do to you?”
“No. Tell me. In vivid detail.”
“I wouldn’t let you touch yourself.”
Zoe gasped. “That’s not fun, Vlad. That’s mean.”
“Shhh. Shut up and listen. This is what I’d do. I’d take your hands and tie them behind your back. I’d strip off my clothes and put us both in the shower.” He closed his eyes again so that he’d have a better picture of her in his mind.
In a voice, husky with pent up desire, Zoe asked, “Then what?”
“I’d kiss you, very slowly. Light kisses, teasing kisses. You’d try to lick my lips, and I’d pull back. This is my show. Then I’d lather up my hands with soap and rub them up and down your gorgeous body. Every inch of you. My hands would be soft in some places and rough in others. Can you feel it, Zoe?”
“God, yes. More, Vlad. I’m close.”
“Oh no, Zoe. Not yet.” At that moment, he opened his eyes, turning his head toward the door. Crystal was looking at him. He smiled at her and mimicked making her hot chocolate. She nodded her head and went back to playing with her dolls.
“Okay, I’m short on time here, so I’ll let you keep touching yourself. I want you to pretend I’m kneeling between your legs. I know how much you like that.”
“I do. God, I do.”
“I’m going to lick you gently until you beg me for more. You’ll beg me to let you come, Zoe. The first time you beg me, I’m going to pull back. Just when you try to grab me and pull me back, I’ll bury my fingers into your bottom and pull you to me fast, sucking you hard. I want you to shatter into a million pieces.”
“Yes!” He could hear Zoe panting and knew he’d taken her over the edge. “Oh, God! So good.” He waited until her breathing became more regular and chuckled. It was a forced chuckle, as his jeans had become uncomfortably tight.
“This wasn’t what I called for, you know? I’m hard as a fucking rock, and you’re a pile of nicely sated bones. Not quite fair.”
He could hear the smile in her voice. “Ah, Vlad. How many times have I told you? Life isn’t always fair. I can’t think now. Why don’t you call me after Crystal is in bed and tell me how your day went? I need to shower, as soon as I can get up off the floor.”
“You’re welcome.” He said sarcastically, shaking his head. “I love you, Zoe. Talk to you soon.”
Chuckling she told him she loved him too. “Bye.”
After Crystal had her hot chocolate and they played a few games of Candy Land, she started falling asleep. He gently picked her up and carried her to her room. She stirred slightly and looked up at him with fear in her eyes until she realized where she was.
“I’m awake. I need to brush my teeth and put my pajamas on.”
Right. Of course she did.
“Do you need any help?”
She looked at him like he had two heads. “No. I can do it myself.” He turned away, and she stopped him. “Um, do you think you could come back when I’m done and read to me for a minute? You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Vlad’s chest tightened again in that way it had when she first called him Dad. “I’d love to read to you, Little Bit. Just give me a holler when you’re ready.”
“Okay.”
Vlad read to Crystal for all of about five minutes before she was asleep. It had been a big day for both of them.
As he left her room, he turned on the overhead nightlight in her bathroom and left the door open a crack.
He went into his own room to watch TV until he fell asleep. At around half past two in the morning, Vlad heard Crystal scream. He ran into her room and found her awake, hitting herself.
“What are you doing, Crystal? Stop hitting yourself!” When Vlad grabbed her arms, she went ballistic.
“Stop! I know I’m still dreaming. You don’t control me! Stop! Stop! Stop! You killed her! I saw you. I hate you.
I hate you
!” She tried to hit him, but he didn’t let go of her arms.
He didn’t know what to do. “Crystal, honey, wake up! Honey, wake up.” She looked like she was still asleep. She was sitting up and talking, but her eyes were glazed over. She finally started to cry and launched herself into his arms.
“Am I really awake this time? Please, Daddy, am I really awake?”
He stroked her back, at a loss for words. That was the second time she called him Dad. “Yes, Little Bit, you’re awake. I promise.” He pulled her away and made her look at him. “See? I’m right here.” Her breathing began to settle, and her tears subsided.
“I’m sorry I said I hate you. I don’t.”
“It’s okay. Tell me what you were dreaming about.”
“I’m not sure. It’s hard to explain. I mean, the dream was just a dream, but I feel like I’m awake. And I think that I’m awake, but then I know I’m not because something awful happens, and I can’t wake up. So I try hitting myself to wake up.” She started crying again, and Vlad carried her into his room.
“Shhh. I’m here, Crystal. You can sleep with me tonight, okay?”
She didn’t even answer him as she burrowed down beside him. He felt like Superman. His child was looking to him for protection, and it was humbling. “That’s it, sweetheart, you go to sleep. I’ll keep the monsters away.”
The next night brought the same night terrors, as he found out they were called. They had only seen Zoe for lunch that day, but Vlad was able to get a couple of minutes alone with her. And they weren’t good minutes.
“Oh, Vlad. Night terrors are scary. They don’t usually last too long, maybe a week or two, but they’re pretty terrible. It’s not surprising that she’s having them, you know. There’s really nothing you can do other than be there for her, like you are.” Zoe had also had night terrors after her mother died. “I’ll talk to her if you want.”
Vlad wasn’t surprised that Crystal was having bad dreams either. It didn’t take a PhD to understand it, either. He decided he didn’t want Zoe to talk to her. It was sick, but he wanted Crystal all to himself, even though he wanted to be a family with the three of them. It made no logical sense. After all, he did ask her before to talk to Crystal about her own parents dying.
“No. I’ll take care of it.” His voice was edged with silent animosity, unrealistic as it was.
“I’m only trying to help you, Vlad. What’s wrong?”
“Look. I know you want to help, and you have all those fancy letters after your name, but I’m not stupid. She’s
my
kid, and I’ll take care of her. She needs to depend on
me.
”
Zoe didn’t take well to Vlad’s attitude. “Well fuck you, Vlad! I know she’s
your
kid. You remind me of that all the time. Jesus. It’s not a competition. I just want to help her. You have no idea what she’s going through. None! I do.”
“Yeah. I know. The poor orphan Zoe with the trust fund. You’ve told me—several times. I get it. You had a terrible childhood. Well, she’s still
my
child.
Mine
!” He had no idea why he was so mad, but he did know that it wasn’t Zoe’s fault.
Zoe took a step back, looking at him as if she didn’t even recognize him. “Wow. Okay, get out. Just go.” She loved him and only wanted to help; yet he just threw her childhood situation in her face. That was
not
okay.
“No. Wait. I didn’t mean that, Zoe. You know I didn’t.” He took a step toward her, but she held him off.
“Just go, Vlad. You’re right. You have Crystal now.”
“No—Zoe, what are you saying? No. Look, I fucked up again. I do that. You know I do. Don’t throw me out. I didn’t mean any of it. I just—Fuck! I don’t know, I don’t know.” He threw his hands up in surrender. How did things go so wrong so quickly?
Crystal walked back in from the living room where she had been watching TV. “Are you mad at me? I’m sorry.”
Zoe could have kicked herself for letting Crystal hear them argue. “No, sweetie. Of course not. Your dad just has some things to do, and I have an appointment. I’ll see you guys later.” Zoe kissed her head and walked out of the room, leaving them to show themselves out.
Vlad sighed, frustrated with himself. “Let’s go, Crystal.”
Three days went by before Zoe would take Vlad’s phone call. She felt a little guilty, because of Crystal, but she didn’t want to talk to him. He’d stepped well over the line with his comment about her being an orphan with a trust fund.