Goddesses Don't Get Sick (8 page)

NINETEEN.

ANGELA LET HERSELF INTO HER HOME
and slowly walked down the hall to her room, oblivious to her surroundings. Crossing the floor to her bed, she sat down and stared into space, mind racing.

Even after seeing his wings with her own eyes, it still defied all logic. Angels were
real
? Now that everything had finally fallen into place, all of Tuyen’s eccentricities explained, Angela couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been.

What?
A cynical voice in her mind broke through the confusion.
You should have figured out he had a pair of wings?

No,
Angela answered the voice wearily.
But I shouldn’t have pushed so much…

She knew that no one could have guessed what Tuyen was, not without seeing it for themselves, but Angela couldn’t help but feel that she should have just accepted his avoidance of the budding relationship and moved on.

As if a floodgate in her mind had been opened, Angela suddenly began to realize the extent of just what she had gotten herself into. She’d fallen in love with an
Angel
; a servant of…God?
A
god, certainly, Christian or otherwise. She’d fallen for something that existed beyond any mortal realm. Angela found herself wondering if she’d jeopardized Tuyen’s life by pushing for more than a friendship. Especially after he’d…

Angela’s face drained of blood. He called her a goddess. Although she wasn’t particularly religious, she knew enough from her studies—ironically, the very studies Tuyen had unconsciously encouraged—to know that such claims from an Angel had to be blasphemous.

A flood of emotions already coursing through Angela’s system intensified, each vying for attention. There was still the flare of joy that Tuyen had returned her love for him, before it was driven back by the less comforting emotions of anger and shame. She wasn’t even entirely sure why those emotions had arisen, especially the shame. The anger was easier to understand—irrational—but easier.

She was angry at herself for falling in love, despite the myriad of confusing signals Tuyen had given her. Angry for daring to think she could come up with an easy answer. Angry that he hadn’t told her sooner.

The shame though…that was harder to pinpoint. Shame for loving someone at the risk of her own…soul?

Sighing wearily, Angela lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, suddenly too tired to deal with her emotions. She stared listlessly at nothing before she rolled onto her side and curled up into a ball, wanting nothing more than to forget the whole fiasco; to forget about Tuyen.

But how could one ever forget an Angel?

Closing her eyes, Angela tried to relax herself enough to sleep.

She didn’t even notice the tears that began to fall, continuing long after she’d fallen asleep.

TWENTY.

ANGELA SPENT THE FOLLOWING WEEKS
immersed in her textbooks, trying to lose herself in her studies. When she found she had nothing left to study, Angela simply turned her attention to textbooks of a different, more supernatural nature. She resigned from her job at the café and holed herself up in her room, only leaving the house when she absolutely had to. Soon, it just became a matter of Angela waiting for her graduation and the subsequent internship, all the time trying to make sense of her thoughts and feelings.

She no longer felt shame. Angela didn’t take long to decide there was no point in feeling shame over something she’d have had no way of knowing without being told.

As for the anger…that never left. Although it did ebb into the background, until it wasn’t much more than a dull ache in the pit of her stomach.

Eventually, Angela reached a point where she didn’t know exactly
why
she was angry at Tuyen, only that she didn’t want to see him. Didn’t want to relive the memories of that night.

Not now at least. She needed time for the anger to abate.

And then…then she’d have to see.

TWENTY-ONE.

THE DAY OF THE GRADUATION CEREMONY
dawned bright and clear, if a little chilly. Angela woke early, drifting through the house listlessly until she found herself sitting in the kitchen in her dressing gown, staring at a cup of coffee as it slowly cooled in her hands. She was jerked out of her thoughts when Sharon knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for a reply. She was already in her robe and had her hood and cap in a plastic bag, all ready to be put on.

She started when she saw Angela sitting in the kitchen silently, the look of surprise soon replaced by a frown of confusion.

“Geez girl why aren’t you ready? This is the big day!” Sharon grinned. “I always thought you’d be the one waiting for me.”

Angela gave her a tired smile before she finally took a gulp of coffee. Grimacing slightly at its lukewarm temperature, she got up and placed the half-empty cup in the sink.

“Sorry,” she managed to force a grin. “Was just caught up in my thoughts, I guess. I won’t be long; I just need to have a shower.”

“Well, hurry up, okay? I don’t wanna be late or anything.”

Nodding, Angela disappeared down the hall and into the bathroom. A few moments later, Sharon heard the shower turn on, and moved to sit at the kitchen table to wait.

Her eyes caught a haphazardly-stacked pile of books and magazines on the edge of the table. Tilting her head, Sharon read the title of the top book:
Do Angels Walk Among Us?
Shaking her head in bemusement, Sharon settled back in her seat to wait for Angela, quietly puzzling over how strange her friend had become lately.

She suspected it had something to do with Tuyen and his sudden absence. Not that Sharon had seen a lot of him when he
had
been around, but his presence held a noticeable affect on her friend, as did his lack thereof. She itched to ask Angela about it, but for the life of her didn’t know how to approach the topic. Not after her reaction the last time he’d upset her.

Bloody hell, Tuyen, what did you do this time?

“I can’t believe we’ve finally made it!” Sharon gushed as they made their way through the growing throng of students and proud parents.

Angela smiled and nodded, distracted as she recognized and was greeted by various acquaintances and friends from past classes.

“I know, it feels like we’ve been in school forever. It’s going to be so strange not having classes or exams anymore.”

“Well, at least you have that job waiting for you,” Sharon punched her friend gently in the arm. “I still have to find a real job.”

“You will, Shar, don’t worry,” Angela was going to say more, when she recognized a solitary figure standing by the gates of the university, watching the throng of people. A strange feeling flip-flopped in her stomach.

“Hey, I’ll catch up with you. Save me a seat?” Angela moved off before her friend could answer.

“Huh?” Sharon looked around, but Angela had already disappeared into the crowd.

Angela’s stride was hesitant as she moved through the crowd and towards Tuyen, her mind coming up with a score of things to say to him and discarding each one in turn.

Tuyen just watched Angela from where he stood, his face expressionless as he waited for her to work her way through the crowd. When she got to him, the two stood there in silence for a long time. Eventually, Tuyen nodded to her graduation attire and managed a small smile.

“I believe congratulations are in order.”

“I guess,” Angela glanced at the coloured hood on her shoulder and shrugged, before dropping her head to look at the ground between them.

Tuyen waited for her to look back up at him, but when it became apparent that her gaze wasn’t going to shift, he sighed heavily and dropped his own head.

“I know saying I’m sorry doesn’t change anything, but I am. I never, ever wanted to hurt you in any way, Angela. I wanted so badly to tell you what I was but…I didn’t know how.” Tuyen rubbed the back of his neck; a telltale sign to Angela by now of his discomfort. “And I was afraid that once I did, you wouldn’t want to see me anymore.”

Angela made a noise in the back of her throat that sounded both frustrated and weary. She shook her head, angry at the tears that had started to form in her eyes. Twice, she tried to open her mouth and say something to the Angel, but both times her will failed her.

Tuyen watched this quietly, his eyes taking in every nuance of her form that he could, adding it all to his memory. Something tugged at his heart as he noticed the feather still hanging around Angela’s neck—an emotion akin to both joy and sadness.

After the silence had grown more than uncomfortable, Tuyen reached into his jacket and pulled out a cream coloured envelope.

“I’m not sure if this will mean anything to you, now, but I still want you to have it,” he said softly as he held it out to Angela. She looked at it dumbly for a moment before she accepted it from him.

“What is it?” She asked, her fingers tracing the texture and feeling the thickness of the paper, her eyes still avoiding Tuyen’s.

“An explanation. Hopefully, it will answer all your questions.”

“And what if I just don’t read it?”

“That…” Tuyen sighed unhappily. “That is always your choice, Goddess.”

The tears began to fall this time as Angela shook her head.

“I’m not a goddess, Tuyen,” she looked up at him angrily. “Goddesses don’t get their hearts broken.”

Tuyen held her gaze for a moment before he closed his eyes and dropped his head.

“If that is how you choose to see it,” he murmured.

A change in the tone of people around them signified that the ceremony was about to begin. Swiping at her eyes, Angela looked up at the Angel; a man she now both loved and hated for a score of reasons.

“Where does this leave us, now?” She finally asked.

“Wherever you want it to,” Tuyen replied softly. Angela nodded to herself, as if she’d been expecting this answer.

“I don’t…I don’t think I want to see you anymore, Tuyen.” Angela’s voice cracked slightly. “At least, not for now. Things are just too…” She trailed off, unsure of her words. Tuyen nodded and swallowed dryly.

“You’d better go,” he murmured, “they’re about to start.”

Their eyes caught once more, the sadness in Tuyen’s matched by the dull anger in Angela’s. Hesitantly, Tuyen reached out and gently rested his palm against Angela’s cheek. Closing her eyes, she leaned against it for a moment, before she turned and walked away without another word. Tuyen let his hand drop and watched as she disappeared into the crowd.

“I’ll always watch over you,” he whispered to himself as the first of his tears began to fall. “My darling Goddess.”

He stayed to watch the start of the ceremony, always on the outskirts of the grounds. But as Angela crossed the stage to receive her degree, she found herself searching for him in the crowd, only to find that the Angel had once more disappeared.

TWENTY-TWO.

“HEY, ANGELA! SHARON!”

The two girls turned around at the sound of their names to recognize a young man moving through the crowd towards them, his robe and hood marking him another fellow graduate. He smiled at the two girls as he came close, an easy smile that was almost infectious, even so much as to break through the melancholic haze that had enveloped Angela for weeks, and rouse her from her thoughts.

“Hey Jason, how’s it going?” Sharon grinned up at the tall figure. “You’ve grown since accounting.”

Jason shrugged and continued to grin. “I guess,” he said, before switching his gaze to Angela. “I hear you got the internship. Congratulations.”

Angela shrugged and smiled up at Jason, the expression displaying a warmth that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Thanks, Jase. What about you? Weren’t you going for a finance one?”

“More than one,” Jason laughed easily. “I got the only one I applied for that wasn’t overseas in another country.”

“I’m sorry? I know you wanted to travel as soon as you could.”

“Aw, yeah,” Jason waved his hand in a dismissing manner. “I’ll go in a few years. This’ll give me a chance to save up some money, get some experience, find the right girl…”

He looked at Angela then, a meaningful expression on his face that was lost on her as she’d dropped her head in thought, not really paying attention. Noticing this, Sharon surreptitiously smacked herself in the forehead at her friend’s density of the situation.

An awkward silence that only Jason seemed to notice settled briefly. He cleared his throat and tried again.

“Anyway, some guys are having a party tonight to celebrate, and I was wondering if you wanted to come?” Jason directed his offer to both of them but Sharon noticed how his gaze only left Angela once to look at her friend with a pleading expression.

Briefly, Sharon was at a crossroads, wondering if she should try to tell Jason about Tuyen.
Tell him what?
Her mind asked.
Did they ever end up dating? Besides, something’s happened between the two. Doesn’t take rocket science to figure that out. Maybe this is just what she needs…
Smiling to herself as she made her decision, Sharon began to back away from the pair.

“Sorry, Jason, I already had plans, but I think Angela’s free.” Her eyes twinkled as Angela lifted her head to look at her friend in confusion.

Winking, Sharon mouthed the words, “You’re welcome,” before pretending to recognize someone in the midst of the crowd and moving off.

“So how about it, Angela?” Jason’s grin lost some of its ease and became more hopeful. “I’ll pick you up at eight?”

Turning back to face him, Angela opened her mouth to say she couldn’t go, then stopped herself. It wasn’t until after she’d started avoiding Tuyen that Angela became aware of how she’d been declining the few (but still existent) dates that had been offered to her since her laughable courtship with the Angel had begun. It hadn’t occurred to her during the fact, but since then she had begun to wonder if she’d been doing it as an unconscious attempt to make more of her relationship with Tuyen than ever existed. Trying to validate something that she was only imagining.

Her immediate decline for any invitation had become such a habit, that Angela actually had to stop now and rethink the situation. It had been so long since she’d been on a real date, Angela wasn’t even sure if she missed it or not.

Still
, she thought to herself,
I could do worse than Jason
.
He certainly does have a lot going for him.
Angela looked more seriously now at the man before her.

He was tall and reasonably handsome, with sandy hair that he kept as tidy as the rest of his figure. He was almost military in the standard of his appearance; something he was well aware of and often joked about when she’d first met him in her freshman year.

He hadn’t been interested in her then, though…or had he? Angela had been in the car accident that took her parents’ lives less than a year before she’d started her tertiary studies. Emotionally, she’d still been recovering from the mental hurt of her orphaning, and had probably missed any advances Jason had made at her.

Just as she had almost missed them this time, caught up in her self-pity over the Angel.

At that thought, Angela felt a brief flare of anger at just how much an effect Tuyen still seemed to be having on her life.

Making up her mind, Angela smiled up at Jason, trying her hardest to make the smile more real.

“Sure Jason, I’d love to go with you.”

His grin widened once more with pleasure. “You will? Great!” He glanced away for a moment as someone—his mother, Angela guessed—called his name, before he turned back to Angela and gave her a wry shrug. “Well, hey, I gotta go do this whole photo thing with my folks, but I’ll see you tonight?”

“Okay, great.” Angela nodded as Jason went back to his family, the smile fading as soon as his back was turned. Sighing softly to herself, Angela looked around at the crowd to see if there was anyone else she recognized, before she removed her cap and left the campus park.

When she got home, Angela sat on her bed and looked at the envelope Tuyen had given her. Her curiosity prompted her to open it, to see what he had to say, but something—the prevailing hurt and anger, perhaps—made her hesitate.

Not now
, she thought.
Not yet
. Moving off her bed, Angela knelt beside it and pulled out a box she had stored under there, now filled with most of the gifts she had received from the Angel over the months.

A week after Tuyen had shown his true form, Angela had gone through her room and taken down everything of his, hiding it under her bed as if trying to hide all her memories. Opening the cover of the top book—
Greek Mythology
—Angela slid the envelope into it and returned it to the box, replacing the lid and sliding it back under her bed.

Out of sight, out of mind.

Getting up from the floor, Angela began hunting through her wardrobe for something to wear for her date, trying to ignore just how bare her room seemed without Tuyen’s gifts.

And failing completely to notice how she hadn’t even considered removing the feather that still hung around her neck.