Authors: Cerian Hebert
When Nell was sixteen she would’ve wanted to die of shame, but now she felt she stood up very well to the critical scrutiny. She had nothing to be ashamed of. Shelly couldn’t make her feel like less of a human because she wasn’t a petite size one. Not anymore.
Nell raised one eyebrow and regarded her with mild distaste. “What?”
Shelly tapped a pale pink fingernail against her bottom lip. “I just can’t get over the feeling that I’ve seen you somewhere else. Before the auction, I mean.”
“Doubt it.”
Remain cool, Nell
.
“Maybe. Well, enjoy the game. Nice chatting with you.”
The little blonde turned and walked away, back to a group of women.
Though slightly shaken, Nell figured there was no use worrying. If Shelly wanted to find out her true identity, then so be it. She might not come up with anything until after Nell returned to New York, and by then it wouldn’t matter one bit.
After the game ended, Nell turned down an invitation to go out for ice cream with her sister’s family and instead headed for home, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly lonely. Watching these small town families and friends for the last few hours made her realize how much she’d missed in her life. Her marriage had been a resounding failure and her track record with any other relationship hadn’t exactly been fulfilling. What she had with Eli, despite being built on a lie, turned out better than any she’d ever had in her life. Except for that little fib she told him, this felt real.
With a quick check to make sure her collection was safe and secure, Nell changed into her pajamas. No point staying up. Tomorrow was Eli’s cookout and she needed to be at her best when she faced his friends and took the chance that someone else would recognize her. This whole thing was like a game of Russian Roulette. One of these days, someone would connect the dots and the game would be over. It only enforced her decision to break things off and go back to New York permanently.
After the barbeque
.
Nell curled up and pulled the sheet to her chin. Fatigue tugged her under and she drifted off.
Somewhere from the fog of sleep, she heard the sound of frantic knocking. It took her several seconds to realize the noise didn’t come from her dreams but from downstairs. She glanced at her clock as she swung out of bed. Just past midnight.
The knock came again, this time louder. “I’m coming,” Nell muttered and hurried down the stairs. Who’d wake her up at this hour? Cold fear rushed through her when she thought of her sister. Maybe something had happened with the baby, but then again, Mark would call her. He wouldn’t be trying to break down her door.
It was too dark to see out the window and for a moment she hesitated with her hand on the doorknob, but when she heard Eli’s voice, she unlocked the deadbolt quickly and let him in.
As soon as he stepped over the threshold, he took her into his arms and held her tightly. The acrid smell of smoke permeated his sweatshirt, reminding her there’d been a fire earlier in the evening. She recalled hearing the horns blowing during the softball game and a handful of men leaving the game quickly, but she hadn’t thought too much about it at the time.
She rubbed the back of his neck. “Hey, you okay?”
She felt him shake his head. Nell pulled away and looked closely at him. A black smudge spanned his nose and one cheek. Then she noticed the tremble through his broad shoulders. Though slight, she felt it under her palms.
“What’s wrong?”
“No,” he murmured and pulled her close again, burying his face in her hair. His hands slid across her back, caught the hem of her tee shirt and raked up underneath the soft cotton. “I don’t want to talk. I need you, Nell. Now.”
As if to demonstrate, he roughly swung her into his arms and crushed his mouth over hers. His lips were voracious and she met them fiercely. Instead of bringing her up to her bedroom, Eli carried her into the dark living room and gently lowered her onto the sofa.
He tugged her tee shirt over her head and knelt in front of her, sliding his hands back around her. He leaned in and ran his tongue over an already aroused nipple. As he nibbled at each peak, he slid her shorts down over her hips, baring them.
“God you’re beautiful, Nell,” he murmured as he kissed his way along her belly, leaving a trail of sweet fire.
She sucked in her breath as he parted her thighs. The anticipation, the moment before he touched the center of her need was impossible, yet delicious. When he opened her up to him and stroked one finger against her aching flesh, she nearly came. It took that little to set her on the edge.
“You’re ready for me.” Eli’s quiet satisfaction was evident in his voice. The tip of his tongue replaced his caress. With incredible, measured strokes, he lathed her hard bud while he slipped a finger deep within her moist depths.
“Oh my God,” Nell moaned and lifted her hips to meet him, to increase the pressure. Everything centered on what he did to her. She closed her eyes and concentrated on the flick of his tongue, the suckling of his lips on her clit and the deep plunging of two fingers. She repeated the sentiment over and over, as he swept her rapidly toward a dizzying explosion.
Before her body had a chance to recover, Eli stripped his clothing off and leaned over her, his hands propped on the back of the couch. Wordlessly, she wrapped her legs around his waist. He drove into her with one powerful thrust. Each rhythmic push delved deeper inside her, faster, more frantic. He rested his forehead against hers, their breaths mingling, matching the steady give and take of his iron-hard shaft.
The sex was so elemental, simple in its singular goal. Later there would be time for slower, more complex lovemaking, but right now it seemed Eli needed to release something inside his head, and she was more than willing to let him.
This purely carnal side of him excited her. She gripped his buttocks and pulled him against her harder and harder, whispering her thoughts and desires between ragged breaths.
“I’m coming,” he gasped, and pressed his lips to her forehead as he convulsed against her. Nell felt his hot seed spill into her in that final moment before he collapsed next to her on the sofa. She gathered him in her arms, absorbing the shudder that still ran through his body.
What in the world had happened today?
Chapter 12
Eli stared up at the ceiling. He and Nell had moved to her bedroom soon after he took her on the sofa downstairs. Now, gray light bled through the window. Her warm body pressed against him. Was she awake? She’d been silent for the past twenty minutes.
The rise and fall of her shoulders indicated slumber.
Lucky woman.
He wished he could slip off as well. Anything to get past the memory of the fire that had chewed up the Lincoln farm, just hours before. Five of the six kids had made it out safely; the sixth, the youngest, was taken to Boston Children’s. The parents both were safe, but Corrine Lincoln, the elderly woman who lived with the family, hadn’t been so lucky. Corrine had been a familiar face in everyday life in Harper’s Grove and her loss hurt him deeply.
And six-year old Celia Lincoln, in a hospital, fighting for her life. He felt so damned helpless. He should’ve been able to do something to save Corrine, to get Celia out before the smoke and fire had hurt her.
“You want to talk about it?” Nell’s soft voice matched the feel of her body, nestled in his arms. Such a blatant contrast to what he’d battled earlier.
He swept a hand over her breast and let it rest, savoring the tightened peak. “Bad fire. The Lincoln place, across town. Their house is gone. Their youngest was taken to Boston Children’s. Her grandmother, Corrine, didn’t make it out.”
Nell’s breath hissed in sympathy and she burrowed closer to him.
“She was like everyone’s grandmother around here. You know the type? And Celia, she’s the cutest thing. Her brother and Dylan are best friends. God, Nell, I should’ve been able to do something, get them out sooner. If we’d just gotten there two minutes earlier . . .”
A shudder ran through his body and Nell’s arms tightened around him. “I was in the kitchen. The fire was right there, coming through the living room, down the hall. Had already eaten up the second floor. I saw them coming, Celia and Corrine, in the hallway. They’d been upstairs. Corrine yelled something, but I couldn’t hear her over the noise. They weren’t five feet from the kitchen, I went for them when the second floor fell on top of them. I managed to grab Celia’s hand, but Corrine—”
Eli sucked in his breath and squeezed his eyes shut. He shook in Nell’s arms. “Corrine just disappeared in that rain of fire. When she screamed, well, I heard that. I handed Celia to one of the other firemen and I tried . . . but there was no way. God, if I’d only been there two minutes sooner I could’ve gotten them both out.”
Nell propped herself on his chest, looking into his eyes. He saw tears glittering there. “Shh. Don’t beat yourself up over this, Eli. You can’t. You did what you could and saved that little girl. If you’d been two minutes earlier, who’s to say you wouldn’t have been trapped, too? It’s horrible and I’m so sorry about Corrine, and Celia, but you can’t blame yourself.”
Eli stroked her cheek, felt the wetness there and brushed it away with his thumb. For the first time since leaving the Lincoln farm he felt calmer, the pall of tragedy no longer hanging over him. He’d surely feel it again in the morning and it wouldn’t go away so easily, but for right now, he centered himself on the woman in his arms.
Not in a sexual way, though his body wanted her again. This was different, more than lust. Thoughts of love had hovered on the edge of his mind for days and he couldn’t deny them any longer. Didn’t want to deny them.
“Don’t leave me,” he whispered, framing her face with both hands. “I know it’s crazy, Nell. I know it’s fast, but I love you. I don’t want to lose you.”
Nell didn’t reply immediately, but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she lowered her face and pressed her lips gently against his. He let his hands slide down her body, over her shoulders and down to the small of her back, reveling in her soft skin and the perfection of her curves.
She continued to press kisses along his jaw up to his ear. “I love you too,” she whispered in a trembling voice.
With a groan, he tightened his hold and slipped her beneath his body, crushing his mouth to hers with a new kind of fierceness. Eagerly, she met his kiss and twined her legs around his waist. He slipped deep within her and held himself still, gazing down at her.
Amazing how things had changed, how over the course of only a few weeks she’d gone from a virtual stranger he’d joined in a casual relationship, to someone he could spend the rest of his life with. Never had his emotions taken over like this, but there couldn’t be anything more perfect, anything he was more sure of.
Making love to her felt different this time. It included his heart and mind just as much as his body. With every surge and ebb, every ragged breath she took, Eli whispered his love into her ear, kissing her soft skin and silky hair until he felt her slip over the edge. He let himself go with her and it was a dizzying ride.
“So, what are the plans for today?”
Eli looked up from his eggs. He looked worlds better. After they’d made love again, he’d dropped off into a deep sleep. Relieved he’d stayed the night, she knew he needed the rest. Some of the trouble had left his eyes, but pain still lingered there in the depths.
“Cookout.”
She raised her brows. “You sure you’re up for it?”
He nodded. “It’s fine. The kids are looking forward to it.”
“Okay.” She wasn’t convinced, but he’d know better than anyone what he needed right now. “I have some phone calls to make this morning, but what time can I be there and what can I bring?”
“Eleven. And just bring yourself. I’ll have everything covered.”
“Okay. If you’re sure.”
Eli grinned at her. “Positive. And you can get that worried look off your face. I’m fine, Nell. Thanks to you. I really appreciate you being here for me last night.”
She hadn’t realized she looked worried at all, but now that he mentioned it, she could feel the furrow in her brows. She quickly cleared her expression. “You were in rough shape. I’m glad I could help.”
He reached for her hand, his gaze now looking serious. “What I said last night, that I love you. I meant it. I’ve fallen head over heels for you. I know I asked you not to leave, and I understand the idea of working here isn’t too practical. But I don’t want to just forget the past few weeks once you go back.”
Nell sucked in a shaky breath. His words filled her with excitement and dread. If only she had told him right from the start. But maybe then they wouldn’t be sitting here this morning, having breakfast after a night of making love. Was the trade-off worth it?
She knew she couldn’t give him what he wanted. She couldn’t carry on with this relationship, this charade, when she went back to New York. She didn’t have the heart to do it. But that didn’t mean she had to end it right now. And she could tell him how she felt.
“I love you, too. It
is
crazy, but it’s true. I have no idea where we’re going to go with this, if anywhere, after I leave, but until then . . .” She sighed. “I’ll never forget what happened while I’ve been here, but, Eli, I can’t make any promises as to what might develop after I go.”
His lips tightened, but he nodded. “I know. I’ll take what I can get. And work on you for more.”
Eli said goodbye a short time later, leaving Nell to her phone calls and the dangerous path of her thoughts. A large part of her screamed to tell him the truth. Either he’d understand or he wouldn’t. If he did, then maybe they could continue on the way he wanted. If not, she’d have nothing but an unpleasant end to this affair.
“Damn,” she said under her breath.
“So, how are things going with Nell? What’s her last name?”
Eli shot Shelly a wary look. He didn’t like the tone of her voice or her smug smile. She stood in the doorway after dropping off Dylan and Emma, and didn’t seem in any hurry to leave.
“Moreno,” he supplied. “Things are fine.”
“Moreno. No, that’s not right. Well, I’m sure that’s her married name. How much do you really know about her, Eli? Like her past?”
“I know enough. What’s your point? You might as well just get to it instead of playing around.”
“Well, she’s been looking familiar to me, and I couldn’t quite place it, but now I know. You’re dating Penny Goodwin.”
Eli shook his head. The name didn’t strike any chords, but he knew Shelly would be more than happy to fill in the blanks. In fact, she leaned up against the doorjamb, her lips curled up in a self-satisfied smirk.
“She’s Gwen Demer’s sister. Christ, Eli, don’t be so dense. Penny Goodwin. We went to school with her. Remember Pudge? Fat girl who used to slink around hoping no one would notice her. How could we not?”
He didn’t like her tone when she said those words, as if still amused by it. “No she’s not,” he denied flatly. It took a moment for the image of the girl Shelly was talking about to materialize in his mind. He remembered her. Not hard to forget a girl like that
. No way my Nell is the same girl
.
“Yes, she is,” Shelly insisted. She paused for a moment and then snickered. “She never told you. She’s making you believe that she’s a friend of the family? Is that it?”
Elijah couldn’t speak. Partly because Shelly’s prodding pissed him off. She reminded him of a little yappy dog that caught on to some toy and wouldn’t let go. And partly because should she be right, why the heck wouldn’t Nell tell him right from the beginning? Why lie about it?
And if true, then who else could have figured it out? He might be the only one in the dark. Others were bound to know as well. His little ex-wife couldn’t keep her mouth shut about juicy bits of gossip, no matter who it involved.
Irritated, he retorted, “It’s none of your business anyway, Shell, so just stay out of it.”
She shrugged and pushed away from the door. “Your life, Eli. Well, yours and our kids. I’m not too keen on letting someone who’d lie about who she is around my kids. I hope you’d feel the same.” With that, she turned and left.
Eli stared after her, struggling to make sense of what she’d just told him. Was she right? He tried his damnedest to recall Penny Goodwin’s face, but that had been so long ago and he couldn’t come up with anything solid.
On the bookshelf in his den he kept his old high school yearbooks. Immediately he went there and pulled out the one published the year he graduated. He thumbed through to the senior portraits and found Penny Goodwin. While the other classmates had quotes and goals and other fun information, there was nothing under her listing. Just Penelope Elaine Goodwin.
Nickname: Penny.
He stared hard at the picture of the unsmiling girl. Yes, he remembered her. She’d been the target of a lot of teasing due to her weight. Relentless teasing that he’d taken part in. He couldn’t believe this was his vibrant, exciting Nell who he’d fallen head over heels with, but the eyes were the same, large and soulful. And the lips, lush and shapely.
How could he not have known? He pictured her in his mind, the way she looked now, and could recall enough of a resemblance between her and Gwen that he should’ve noticed it. But he’d been too blinded by the intrigue she offered.
He slammed the book shut, suddenly angry. She’d lied to him. For some reason beyond his comprehension, she’d stood before him the night of the auction, remembered him from school, and lied. Then kept lying.
What was her game? How could he trust her with anything? Especially his heart. He’d given it so easily to her and she took it. If she’d felt anything for him, she would’ve come clean. Obviously she planned on playing this charade for as long as they were together.
Probably never meant for it to go on much longer
.
Just this morning she’d told him that she loved him. Another damned lie?
He felt used and it wasn’t a pleasant feeling.
“I have to tell him,” Nell said miserably. She lay back on Gwen’s bed, draped her arm across her eyes, and moaned. “I’m a friggin’ idiot and you warned me.”
She felt her sister sit down next to her and pat her leg. “Yes, you are a friggin’ idiot and I take great pleasure in saying ‘I told you so.’ Now, you want to fill me in on what brought on this great revelation?”
For a long moment, Nell couldn’t speak as she searched for the words to describe what had happened. A simple “I love him” didn’t seem sufficient. Neither did a long explanation on how they’d gotten to where they were. Gwen wasn’t dim. She would’ve seen it.
“Because you were right about him. He isn’t the same ass I remember from high school. I thought it would be easy. Play with him a little and then dump him. No one would get hurt.”
Gwen sighed and leveled a look at Nell. “Be honest. You wanted to hurt him a bit. Did you hope he’d fall for you?”
“I guess. Maybe just a little in the beginning. After what he and his friends put me through in high school, I’ll admit freely that I wanted some payback. Not to be cruel, just leave him wanting me.”
“But now you’re in love with him and I’ll bet you anything he’s in love with you. Is that it?”
“So he says,” Nell muttered and closed her eyes again. All she saw was Eli’s face. “I never thought it would come to this. It’s all Javier’s fault. If that jerk hadn’t stolen my collection I’d be back in New York right now, in my own little studio getting ready for my show. But no, he had to ruin everything and now I’m up here and I’m in love. God, Gwen, what am I going to do?”
Gwen settled closer to Nell and took her hand. “Well, you have two choices. You tell him and hope he doesn’t freak out. If he does then it’s over between you two and, hey, you both had a good time. If he forgives you, then see if you can make a go of it. Or you don’t tell him and when it’s time to go back to New York, you say goodbye forever and no one has to know the truth.”
“Is there a third option? Like going back in time to the night of the auction and starting all over again?”
“It wouldn’t have been that bad, you know, if you’d been straight up with him from the beginning. He would’ve been overwhelmed by your amazing transformation and would’ve fallen in love with you on the spot.”