Going to the Chapel (17 page)

“Of course, not,” Cassie says, “But we just saw you.”

I smile to show I’m teasing. “We can finish up here if you want. Then we could play a game or something. Maybe Bunko.”

A game should show them that Doug is still a normal person.

“So, what are you doing?” Jerry, the great detective, says as he walks a little closer to the table. As I have said all along, the only reason Jerry wanted to be a detective was because he wanted to be a snoop.

“Not much,” I say as I fold my arms over the open book on the table.

At the same time, Doug says, “Cassie’s teaching me the Bible.”

“What?” Jerry’s face turns a little white. He must have thought this big book was a dictionary. Or a medical reference book. Even Cassie looks shocked. I think they would have been less appalled if it had been a medical book and Doug had told them I was teaching him how to be a surgeon.

“Just the organization of the Bible,” I say to clarify. Really, they have no reason to look so shocked. “You know the filing system of it all. The books. The chapters. The verses.”

“You know that?” Jerry turns to look at me with utter astonishment on his face. “About the
Bible?
”

“Of course,” I tell him. “I’ve gone to church with Aunt Inga since the day I started living with her. What did you think I was doing all that time?”

“I don’t know. Throwing spitballs at other kids,
maybe,” Jerry says and he’s serious. “I sure never thought you were listening.”

“I’ve never thrown a spitball in church in my life,” I say. It’s true, but I shouldn’t have to defend myself to him. “Besides, it was hard not to listen—sometimes things were loud. And I had to go to Sunday school, too.”

“Quick, tell me what John 3:16 says,” Jerry challenges me.

“I’m not going to dignify that with an answer,” I say and cross my arms. “You’re treating me like I’m a trained seal.”

I notice that Jerry gives Doug a look that assumes Doug is with him on this. Have you ever noticed how guys do that? It’s sort of a male bonding thing that happens when they tease a female.

Just then there is a rapid knocking at the door. I look at Cassie. She looks at me. Neither one of us is expecting any company beyond what is already in the apartment with us. We don’t even know that many people here in Hollywood.

“Who’s there?” Cassie says softly as she walks closer to the door and picks up her plastic shovel from its place by the counter.

Jerry snorts when he sees the shovel. “What’s that?”

“Hush,” I whisper.

“Julie, is that you?” the voice on the other side of the door asks.

Jerry, Cassie and I all look at each other. We recognize that voice. We might not believe it, but we recognize it.

Cassie opens the door. “Elaine?”

Everyone inside the apartment just looks at Elaine.
She’s a sight. I’ve never seen her like this. Elaine never leaves home without flawless makeup and a matching outfit. She makes sure her hair is styled, not just combed. This Elaine look-alike has streaks of mascara on one cheek and her hair looks as if it hasn’t been combed in a week. It even looks less blond than usual, as though maybe she forgot to put on some kind of mousse to add highlights. She does have lipstick on, but it’s only on the upper lip and it gives her a ghoulish look. Plus, she’s got a ketchup spot on the white T-shirt she’s wearing with her jeans and it doesn’t look as if she even tried to wipe the ketchup off.

“Elaine?” I ask just to be sure. “What’s happened?”

“Did you have a car accident?” Jerry asks.

I step a little closer to be sure the ketchup isn’t blood.

I guess that is enough sympathy for Elaine to decide she is welcome. She walks into the apartment, dragging a huge garment bag behind her.

“I don’t know what to do,” Elaine wails as if this would make us understand what was happening. And then she hiccups and starts to cry. “I can’t just leave my wedding dress behind. My mother helped me pick it out. And, who are they to say I can’t take it on a cruise? That’s not fair.”

“No, of course not,” I find myself saying, although for the life of me I don’t know what she’s talking about. No one is planning a cruise that I know about and Elaine should be able to take her wedding dress anywhere she wants to take it. “Who said you can’t take it on a cruise?”

Elaine’s lip is trembling with indignation. “Gary’s parents. They want to pay for a cruise wedding, but
they want me to get a different dress. Something with no lace that will pack better.”

“Well, that makes sense,” I say. I have to bite my tongue to keep my joy from erupting in a huge yell of triumph. This would certainly solve all my problems. Why didn’t I think of that? Elaine would love to get married on a cruise ship. Aunt Ruth and Uncle Howard would love it, too. I mean, who wouldn’t absolutely love it? I may live to see my grandchildren, after all.

“The only reason they don’t like my dress is because Mom and I picked it out,” Elaine says. “They don’t like anything that we planned. They don’t even like my hair.”

We all just look at Elaine’s hair. I don’t think now is the time to ask her about mousse, not with everyone staring at her. She doesn’t seem to notice, though. She probably can’t see us with the tears in her eyes.

“Your hair’s good,” Doug says, a little feebly. I can tell he is trying to be sincere. “And healthy. Like it’s been outdoors in the fresh air. That’s good.”

Elaine turns to Doug as though she needs to explain her problem to him. “They want me to wear a straight dress with no lace. No lace at all. Gary’s mother said the dress I have looks common because of all the lace.”

Elaine stops to take a little sobbing breath.

“Oh, I’m sure she didn’t mean it like that,” Cassie says.

As I said, Cassie is the eternal mother and I know she must be wanting to go to Elaine and give her a hug. So far, though, Cassie is holding back.

“The shop where we got the dress said I could have as much lace as I wanted,” Elaine says haltingly.
“Wouldn’t they have said something if my dress was going to look common?”

“I’m sure it won’t look the least bit common,” Cassie says softly as she takes a step toward Elaine and puts a hand on her shoulder.

I’m willing to second that opinion, but Cassie makes it sound like a good thing so I let her go with it.

“It’s got two thousand beads hand sewn on it,” Elaine says. “And with all the lace, I thought it would be elegant.”

“Oh,” I say. I remember the two thousand beads. I see the garment bag that is trailing behind Elaine. I wonder how fragile those beads are. “Maybe we should lay the dress down on the sofa.”

Elaine just clutches the bag closer to her and looks as though she’s going to cry harder. “This dress makes me look beautiful. Everyone said so. The woman at the shop. Her assistant. They all said the dress was perfect for me. It is meant for me.”

Now, I know they must tell every bride that about her dress, especially when the dress is as expensive as this one must be, but I’m not going to share that insight with Elaine.

“I’m sure there’s a way to take your dress on a cruise,” Cassie says as she finishes the pat on Elaine’s shoulders. “There are some pretty big suitcases out there.”

“It’s got a seven-foot train,” Elaine says.

“Wow,” I say.

Doug looks surprised. “I didn’t know they made them that long. Don’t they have to fit in the aisle?”

Jerry grunts. “Women.”

Elaine looks at us and I guess she can see the looks on our faces. “It’s the fashion. They’re called cathedral trains. The women at the shop said I could have it that long if I wanted—as long as I had a carpet to walk down so it didn’t drag on the floor. I was going to have rose petals sprinkled on it.” Her lip begins to quiver again. “Why has everything gone so wrong? Gary and I were supposed to get married in that beautiful church in Palm Springs. You should have seen that aisle. It was extra long. That’s why I got a long train. And now we have to choose between that little chapel where you work,” Elaine says as she looks at me as if it’s all my fault, “which probably doesn’t have any aisle to it at all, or some cruise of the Mexican Riveria.”

“Well, the Mexican Riveria is always nice at this time of the year,” I say. I’m not going to tell Elaine that the center aisle at the Big M is perfectly long enough for her bridal train and I’ll let the “little chapel” remark pass right on by. I have more important things to say. “And a cruise ship would have a super long aisle. They’d probably let you walk all around the deck if you wanted. You could have a huge train and all the rose petals you wanted.”

“I wouldn’t mind a cruise,” Jerry says.

Elaine starts to cry in earnest. “Gary’s parents are staying at his place until the wedding and they’re planning the cruise.”

Jerry and Cassie both look at me.

“And that’s a problem because…” I gently ask Elaine.

She looks at me as though I’ve lost my senses. “It will be their wedding. The wedding they want.”

“Ah.” I nod. “Of course. And you’re worried it won’t be the wedding you want?”

Elaine stops wailing long enough to nod.

I give Elaine what comfort I can. “Lots of people make compromises on their weddings.”

“Really?” Elaine stops crying.

I can’t help but think how good I would be as a wedding planner. See how I just comforted the bride-to-be and helped her adjust her attitude?

“Besides, a cruise wedding would be very nice,” I continue on smoothly. “Just think how beautiful the pictures will be with the ocean in the background. Maybe you’ll get married as the sun goes down. That would be cool. And your mother won’t have to worry about organizing all that food—”

Elaine begins to cry again. “She won’t have to worry about anything.”

“See there. That’s what we want. Everything will be done for her. I’m sure she’s in favor of the cruise idea.” I have to restrain myself. I’m getting ready to go into the happy dance. My problems are almost over. No wedding chapel anywhere could compete with a cruise. I bet the ship even has a swimming pool. And a wedding only takes thirty minutes or so. All of us cousins would have the rest of the time to work on our tans. Hello, sunshine, here we come.

Elaine takes a deep shuddering breath. “I haven’t told Mom about the cruise.”

“Oh, well, that’s not a problem. Just tell her as soon as you can. I can guarantee she’ll be relieved. She’s been worrying about measuring the chapel at where I work and everything. She’ll be so glad when you tell her. I bet she even buys a new dress to wear.”

Elaine shakes her head. “She won’t need a new dress.”

“I know you’re thinking she’s already spent all that money on your wedding,” I say, “but, trust me, your mom will be happy to spend a little more to see you happy and smiling on your big day. So just go ahead and tell her so she can relax.”

Elaine stops crying and crunches up her face. “I don’t know how to tell her. Gary’s parents don’t want her to come.”

Jerry goes pale. “Not come?”

“To the
wedding?
” I add for clarification. “They don’t want her to come to your wedding?”

Elaine nods. “They want to give us the cruise wedding as a gift, but they say there’s only room for Gary and me. And them, of course. And Lynda, their daughter. And maybe Gary’s uncle if he wants to come. The cruise ship is almost sold out.”

“But there will be cancellations,” I say. “They can’t be serious about you getting married without your parents there.”

“Gary’s mom says we only need a couple of people for witnesses.”

“Well, that’s true, but…”

Cassie and I exchange a look. Neither one of us can believe Elaine has the story right.

“Gary’s mom says lots of couples don’t have either set of parents with them when they take a wedding cruise, so we should consider ourselves lucky that they will be able to come with us,” Elaine says. “At least, we’ll have one set of parents.”

Elaine looks about as far from lucky as a person can look and still be breathing.

“I don’t even want to be around your mother
when you tell her she can’t come to your wedding,” Jerry says.

Even I know that’s much worse than getting the wrong punch cups at the hotel in Palm Springs. This is big-time serious. Aunt Ruth has planned for Elaine’s wedding for years.

“That’s why I needed to come here,” Elaine says. “I feel so guilty being around Mom right now.”

None of us even question Elaine on this. I know I’d be getting out of Blythe, too, if I had that kind of news waiting for Aunt Ruth.

“I was hoping maybe I wouldn’t have to tell her for a while,” Elaine says. “If all of you can keep a secret.”

I can’t look at Cassie or Jerry or even Doug. The words coming from Elaine’s mouth are words that could have come from my mouth a day or so ago. What is it with our family and secrets? We may not be a fully matched family with all of the same grandparents, but we sure seem to share the same habit of hiding the truth when we see trouble coming our way.

“You’re sure you understood Gary’s mom?” I say gently. I know that there is a lot of stress in planning a wedding just as there is stress in planning a funeral, but I simply can’t believe anyone would expect to keep Aunt Ruth away from Elaine’s wedding. The mother of the bride always has to be there.

“Gary’s mom and I talked on the phone for an hour this afternoon,” Elaine says. “I know what she said. I just can’t imagine telling my mom.”

“I can understand why you’d want a place to stay then,” Cassie says with a nod. “You’re certainly welcome to spend the night here.”

I add my nod. Elaine isn’t looking as relieved as I thought she would.

“Actually, I was hoping someone would help me tell Mom about the cruise,” Elaine says then.

There is dead silence in the room.

“Oh, no,” Jerry says as he steps away from Elaine.

“We’ll give you moral support, of course,” I add as I force myself not to take a step away. For once, I’m kind of glad I’m only half cousins with Elaine. Jerry has more duty here than I do.

But Elaine must not see it that way. She’s looking at me instead of Jerry and I’ve got to admit it’s making me nervous.

“I was hoping you could tell her,” Elaine finally says. She’s still got her gaze pinned on me. “You’re so good with bad news.”