Authors: Mercedes Keyes
Sitting before him however, was the here and the now, his Hope – his sister. No man would cheapen her, he would see to that. He would make sure she kept her head high, he would force her to see that no man was worthy of her and she would be independent of them all…white, black or whatever approached her. He would see to it - she would be able to care for herself and as for the love of a man…that – she
could live without.
Hope watched her brother think. She could see a riot of thoughts and emotions going through his mind. Seeing him like that softened her, when he finally made eye contact with her again, he realized he had been lost in thought a few moments. Mike sighed as he stared at the lightened mirror image of his mother.
“
Look, I don’t know where our mother is, neither do I - our sire. What I do know is this…you are all I have left of them. I ask that you work with me, and understand, that your future welfare is my most earnest concern. I need you to do as I say, when I say, and how I say it! You are yet to be an adult woman in my eyes, therefore in need of a guardian. That would be me. You are, Miss Golden Hope Webster…and from this day forward, I am – your mother, your father, your teacher, your mentor…your brother.”
She sat immobilized by his speech, she couldn’t believe this was happening to her, yet she understood there was little she could do about it. She was stuck with this mass of arrogant pride.
“
Having established that, there is no way to ease around this next question, so I’ll ask it right out. Have you been bedded?” The question drew a blank stare from her. “Do you understand what I’m asking you?” Still she stared. “I need to know if you’re still a virgin?” He furthered.
Many thoughts coursed through her mind, she couldn’t help making faces at him as possibilities of his meaning ran riot within her head. For one,
‘What was a virgin?
’ This was the first time she had ever heard the word, she hadn’t a clue if it applied to her or not.
“
What – what is a – a virgin?” She asked innocently.
“
You’ve never heard of the word virgin?”
“
No. Should I have?”
“
Hmm? Well, has a man ever um…has a man ever –(he gulped)- touched you…hurt you – um, between your legs to your private area?”
Hope blushed furiously, anger shot through her. She wasn’t sure exactly what men did there, or why they would want to but she was offended that he would refer to such a delicate place. Anna had explained that should a man show an interest in her, or there…she should deny him, insult him, rage at him…it was to a great insult and disrespect that he would do so, she shot to her feet.
“
How dare you! No man has a right to me there! Certainly not my
brother! I wish to leave this place, now! I care not how; I will walk to my death…before I stay here!”
Mike threw his head back and laughed. “Calm down, calm down! Good…that is good! I like that response. Now sit down, as my sister…I have no interest in you that way.”
“
Then why would you ask such a thing?!” She demanded.
“
To put it simply…I needed to know, if I am guarding a good girl…or…a whore.”
“
I am no whore! What is a whore?” She defended then asked curiously.
“
A woman who let’s any man play at her private place.”
She gasped.
“
Now that I know you haven’t-…”
“
I would not!” She declared fiercely.
“
Okay…I believe you. Sit down now.” Right after sitting, she asked. “Why would a man wish to?”
“
Don’t worry about it. It’s something I plan to see never happens. I want you to always be on guard of your virtue.”
“
Virtue? How can I guard something I know nothing about? What has this to do -with- between my legs?” She asked boldly. It was Mike’s turn to burn with embarrassment.
“
Well tell me. I relieve myself there…what could possibly be there to interest a man?” Her curiosity was keen.
“
You look here! No more about that – I’m doing the talking.”
“
You brought it up!”
“
Only to find out, what I need to know…now forget it.”
“
Do other women know of this?”
“
Did I not say - drop it?!”
“
Does Maria know?”
“
Are you listening to me?”
“
Surely I need to know these things? What if I was to fall in love, and marry, would I need to know such a thing then?”
“
Fall in love? Marry?! That is all nonsense, do you hear? Nonsense, who or what would you fall in love with?” He asked as if it were not obvious.
“
Why – a man of course!”
“
For what reason?”
“
For whatever reason, that women do!” She argued.
“
Ah ha! Just as I figured, if you do not know why, then why bother?”
Hope looked perplexed. “Because eventually all women do.” She answered.
“
They do not! Who told you such a lie?!”
Hope was speechless, unable to answer. Mike took advantage of her silence. “You listen here little girl. As far as men are concerned, you have no use of them! They are all dogs!”
“
They are no good! Do you understand me? When I’m through with you, you’ll have no need for one.”
“
Am I to suppose this applies to you as well?”
Mike’s brows pinched in a scowl as he leaned forward over the table with his finger pointing and wagging. “Look here, you can suppose all that you wish! All you need do is remember what I say…you have no need of a man!”
“
Well in that case, I could say Maria has no need of you.”
“
That does not apply to me.”
“
Why not?”
“
I am rare. She was lucky to get me. Men like me, far in between. You’ll never find another like the one you see…so that is why…you will not bother.”
“
There must be others that are as good as you think yourself.”
“
No! Anything outside of this door is worthless. Men will cheat, lie, scheme, connive and manipulate you! They will do anything to get what they want, as well as force you to their will. You understand? Man’s aim in life is to seek out the weaker and conquer, especially when it comes to a woman. Because I am your brother, I will prepare you for this. You will never be any man’s victim. If you allow them to…a man will subdue you, pull you down, control you, use you to satisfy his needs and then toss you aside for another. When I am done with you, you will stay clear of them all!”
“
From the little I know of you, much of what you say is true!” She insulted, taking Mike by surprise, followed by his rolling laughter.
“
Yes! Good girl…you keep that up. Give a man no quarter – cut him from every angle!”
“
It is not how Anna was with Alfredo.” She informed him, doubting his advice.
“
Who
is Anna? Alfredo?” He asked, pausing in sarcastic laughter, knowing full well who they were but rejecting them as an unimportant aspect of her past life. “Forget them – you hear? From this moment forward, they are of little consequence.”
“
How dare you say that of them, speak against them, you know nothing of them!” She fired heatedly.
He waved her declaration off as unimportant. “Enough of this talk you’re getting me off the main things I must discuss with you
…your instructions are in this order, you will learn to read, write and speak properly. Second, you will learn to dress with the respectability due you. And third, you will learn to shoot, ride, fight and fence as good as any man – men do not like that in a woman…and this will scare them away from you…lousy bastards, the lot of them.”
“
You are mad! How can you as a man, put down those of your own?” She asked stunned. “Who better than a man, can tell you of men? Hm? You just listen and do as I say, and as God is my witness, one will never cause you pain!” He finished with a distant gleam in his eyes. He turned to look into his sister’s eyes, and asked. “Do you understand?”
With a sigh and a nod, she understood too well.
As the weeks began to roll by, there were times when she didn’t understand at all. True to his word, from that day on, he or Maria taught her to read and write. Mike dressed himself up in respectable attire and visited town with his sister on his arm. Camped not far out of town was his family, Maria and the kids. Juan, Hector, Eugene and a few other men, a couple of the women from the camp traveled along, because of the safety in numbers. Loaded down with plenty of ammunition and weapons did not hurt either. While there, he had her fitted for lady like attire, using that time to pick up things for Maria and his children. They stayed a few weeks, taking the time needed to get to know each other as they shopped.
Afraid to leave the camp for too long, with a plan moving about within his mind, he decided, as soon as he was satisfied with their trip, they would head back home.
Upon their return, things kicked in with Mike, being the driving force. He was consistent and dependable with what he expected out of Hope. She was to dress in a modest dress every day, with her hair pulled back in a drastic bun. Never again was she to be seen with it free and flowing.
Maria had always carried herself among the others in this ladylike manner, and his sister would carry herself no less. However there were times when Hope felt him too strict and overbearing, but Maria would console her, reminding her that he really meant well.
Cooking was also a part of her curriculum – Maria instructed her through many Spanish dishes, which she showed a natural talent for, days of helping Anna cook – often doing an entire meal herself if Anna was feeling unwell came in handy now. The challenge for her was trying to get over the feeling of home sickness and worry over Alfredo, Anna and Cornelius.
One thing was certain, her brother saw to it that she was always busy – at times hard and unyielding when at night he chanced to hear her crying for them – a sharp yell would follow.
“
Stifle that sniveling like a little child!! There are things in life – you cannot change!” Lowering his voice, he would add. “It is a waste of tears and sleep. You must learn to forget those of your past…or they will haunt you and keep you from moving on. Now shut up! Go to sleep!”
Swollen eyes the following morning were evidence of the crime she had committed in the night. “What is this?!” He’d ask brusquely, tightly grasping her chin as he glared heatedly at the proof of her weakness. Defiantly, she snatched her chin away, knocking his hand aside with a strong thrust of her shoulder.
“
Weakling…a spineless softy I think! Have you no pride to let someone see you thus? You are to stay inside until your face returns to normal. I’ll have no one seeing you as the weak woman I fear you are. Let a man see you in tears, and he will know you as a little pussy – meowing and shaking in fear”
“
Shut up and leave me be!” She cried, tired of his constant onslaught.
“
You don’t let anyone -
anyone
see you cry!” He ground out snatching her by the arm. “No one!”
“
I am - no - little pussy!” She growled.
“
Damn it!” He yelled at her.
“
Damn it!” She repeated. “And damn you!”
“
That’s better.” Mike assured her walking away.
She always went to Maria to let off steam; because Mike had warned her explaining that, “No matter what problem you encounter in life. Never run from the close knit of your family to cry on someone else’s shoulder with it. Your problems are none of their business. Never show them such weaknesses so they may use it against you later!”
Another time, he advised against visiting anyone more than once. “Never, have someone tire of your company! Leave them to seek you out if they wish to be in your presence, but never show you are in need of them, people that know you are in need will only take advantage of you…should you give them that advantage…they will take it!! Do you understand!?”
Quietly, a nod and a sigh would follow. Thus, Maria became her only confidant. Absorbing all the frustrations Hope felt against her brother. She and Lolita had formed a special bond for aunt and niece, and Esteban was ever protective of his tia. Since her arrival, Mike left it up to him to watch over her as he did with his siblings. A job he did faithfully, his motivation, pleasing his father and winning his praise.
Unfortunately, for Hope, he did it so well; she had to remind him from time to time, who was the aunt and who, the nephew.
Two weeks went by since the shopping trip and Mike was gone with his most trusted men – they were off readying themselves for the freight that was due to pass through their territory.
Juan and Eugene stayed behind guarding their Jefe’s family as Juan worked late into the night, while the residents within the camp slept, building a false wall within his hut.. Hope and Maria were the only ones who would know where the rifles were hidden. Keeping the location quiet was not easy with Santiago lurking about, prowling like a hungry cat – his aim to discover what was afoot. The men following Mike in his plans remained close-mouthed, feeling that if Mike wanted anyone else to know…he would tell them himself. So few knew why they were gone, and what they were up to, which drove Santiago nuts with curiosity. Yet, not so crazy as to cross the imaginary line Mike placed before him that kept him away from his family and their dwelling. Because Juan and Eugene shared one of the dwellings between Mike’s and Maria's, the boundary included theirs, working to keep him away from all three. Adequate space within the compound made it unnecessary for him to go anywhere near; there was simply no excuse and so he kept his distance.
During Mike's absence, Eugene was to begin Hope’s riding lessons, followed by Juan coaching her to use a knife as a weapon. How to hold it, conceal it, throw it, and keep her adversary from disarming her. Because the two men were funny, if a bit flirtatious, Hope enjoyed this time with her brother being absent, even though his shadow, Esteban was ever present watching their every move and words concerning Hope. With her skills slowly building, she grew excited, challenging herself to improve. She could not wait for her brother’s return to show how proficient she'd become.