Authors: Mercedes Keyes
In an attempt to ease their misery, he would make Esteban take one on the horse with him to talk to.
Papo first, then Felix…who complained that it was no fun riding with Esteban, he kept telling them to shut up, and, “You talk too much! We’ll get there when we get there! Stop asking!” Out of sympathy, Eugene would take one on, but the girls were the next to complain, “Why do the boys get to ride papah? We want to ride too!” Lolita announced with Celina backing her up, looking pugnacious, so much like her Tia.
The boys went one better. “We know how to ride by ourselves papah! Why do we have to ride like girls, behind someone else! No fare! We wish to ride alone – like Esteban!” Argued Papo.
Mike’s answer was. “You don’t have a horse, mine is too spirited for you, you wouldn’t be able to control him.”
“
Why can’t we ride Esteban’s?!” Questioned Felix. “Yeah, how come he gets a horse, and we don’t?” Papo added. Now Esteban was upset because his father glanced his way and he knew what was to follow. At that moment, he resented having brothers.
Papo was the first to ride, then Felix. Then Papo would ride out a certain distance, then it was Felix’s turn again and he would push the distance – of course he was caught and pulled in for it, but not without complaint.
“
Why does Papo get to go far and not me?”
“
Because Papo can be trusted, you on the other hand cannot. You’re off!”
The next argument came from the girls, who first whined and moaned to their mother that the boys got to ride, but they were forced to sit in the back or on the seat. Maria sighed, and replied.
“
Talk to your father about it.” It was a nice change for her to see him going through what she went through daily. This trip was the first time that he was exposed to all of his children at once with nowhere to go, or nothing to do that took him off with his men. That alone made the trip worth it for his wife.
“
Why do the boys get to ride papah and we don’t?” Lolita finally mustered the nerve to ask. “I’m tired of sewing. I would like to ride some too.” He relented, Lolita was allowed to ride, and Felix timed it all because he was able to complain, “How come she get’ta ride longer than me? I had to get right off for Papo, it ain’t fair.”
Right on the tail of that, Celina whispered in his ear leaning from the back. “Papah, ‘erybody gotta ride ‘cept me.”
“
Esteban, give your little sister a ride.” He patiently instructed, so that Celina could have a turn.
Happy to get his horse back, Esteban took his baby sister onto his horse and left with Eugene to get away from the others where they found a spot to catch fish. On his return, a wail went up, “Pa
-a-a-pa-a-ah! Esteban took her fishing! We didn’t get to gooo!”
Hope and Maria were waiting for him to explode; the kids were getting on their nerves, surely he was on the verge of losing it, holding their breaths, they watched to see what he’d do. Surprisingly, he patiently promised, “Next time, you each will have a turn.”
Still, complaints came on regular intervals, despite his patience…
“
Papah Lolita won’t get her leg off of me!”
“
Papah Felix won’t move over!”
“
Papah Esteban is snoring, and I can’t sleep!”
“
When we gonna get there Papah?”
“
I gotta go pee! Papah I gotta pee!!”
“
Papa-a-a-ah – Celina peeed on meeee!”
“
Yuk, ouieeee! Papah Felix stinks, he did somethin’!”
Mike figured he deserved it for always leaving Maria with the children and never giving her a rest. As he stood looking over more items to purchase, he figured they were taking revenge on him for hardly being around, and Maria was stuck with no help. Few and far in between had he heard anyone calling, “Mama, mama.”
A fight that broke out between Papo and Felix ended his patience. He pulled the reigns on the team to stop the wagon, turned and ordered everyone out. Lining them up, he lit into each of them with his full wrath.
“
I have - had - enough! The next child, that papah’s me, I promise to orphan right here…right now! No more riding! No more fishing! No more peeing your britches! No more shittin’ – your britches!! Do I make myself clear!?!”
They all nodded holding their breath with their eyes wide.
“
Now get your goddamn asses-…”
“
Don’t curse at the children!” Maria cut him off to correct him. Mike stopped and stared at his wife. “You put them up to this didn’t you? You told them to call me for everything they could think of, didn’t you!? I know you did.”
“
No I did not!”
“
Urgh!” He growled, turning back to the line up before him. “Get back in the wagons. Sit your rumps down! Don’t move – don’t touch anyone – don’t even breathe deep until we get where we’re going! And – don’t you dare – ask me when!!”
The rest of the way had been mostly quiet, except for little whispers to Maria or Hope that he could overhear
d. Maria would whisper back. “Can’t you wait until we stop?”
Inhaling deeply, Mike stopped and ordered everyone out, making them squat or stand against a tree until they were all sure they were done, with one brave enough to chance a complaint; Felix whined holding his privates, "Emmm, papah – nothings coming out."
"I don't care…stand there until something does, jump up and down, stamp your bloody feet, think of a trickling waterfall!"
Again, Mike shook his head. The clerk looked up at him with a smile, as he laid his items on the counter because he was grinning to himself. “You find some gold?”
Chuckling Mike shook his head, answering. “No such luck.” He was leaning over totaling his selections when he noticed the many bolts of fabric stacked behind the counter, light and heavy cottons of white, pick, blue and pale green, with gingham and floral prints. There was also lace, and thick white twine.
“
Would you please add the fabric to my bill.” He requested.
The clerk looked up from his adding pad at him through lowered glasses. “Which one and how many yards you wantin’?”
“
Can I have all of it, in all the colors there? That bolt of lace as well, if you don’t mind. An-n-nd, you wouldn’t happen to have any buckskin would you? Or black hide?”
The man stood and started, grinning even more. “Why yes, you can…sure sir!” He rushed around getting everything down and wrapped, obviously happy with the prospect of a sell out, he’d ordered an abundance of the fabric, but it hadn’t sold as he thought it would. Now was his chance to get rid of every bolt. Stacking the counter high, he asked, “Anything else sir?”
“
Got any hats? I have three boys, they need hats.”
“
Sure do, the latest kind, three colors, black, tan and brown, which color would you like?”
“
Three brown for the boys, and a black for myself.”
“
Sure thing mister! I’ll be right back, they in the back room. You sure you don’t want a different color for each boy?”
“
I dare not, they’ll be fighting over why who got what color and that one didn’t!”
The clerk laughed out agreeing. “Why sure they will! Got any girls in the bunch?”
“
Yes sir I do, two – five all together.” He informed the clerk, who was in the next room fumbling with stacked goods to retrieve the hats. “Why you just getting’ started!” He called from the other room.
“
Just getting’ started?” Mike grinned shaking his head, hoping that was far from the truth. The clerk came out with the hats, handing Mike the black one right away. Mike took it, removed his old hat and tried it on. It had a wide brim and round top that he’d chopped in the center to dent it.
“
Nice fit…made for you. You look to be a young man wit’ plenty left to’ya. Hell my brother Dancy spit out thirteen ‘fore he was through; three girls and all the rest boys. Rowdy damned bunch if ever there was one. After he had so many, I didn’t see no need of my own, I jus’ share his.” He chuckled good naturedly.
“
Thank you, but if it’s all the same, I’m hopin’ we’re done.” He placed a bag of gold on the counter to be weighed out for his bill. The clerk tied his stack in one large heap, and Mike hefted it up on his shoulder. “Here, let me get the door for you.” The little man offered running from behind his counter to hold the door for Mike.
“
You come on back through again sometime now – you hear! My business could use your kind’ah buyin’.”
Mike waved him off and headed for the camp. His boys had been looking for him, and upon spotting him, they ran to meet him. “Papah, what’d ya’get, what’d ya’get!” They asked excited, jumping up and down around him as he walked over to the wagon. Hope was sitting on a rock, laughing to herself at the picture her brother made. Here before her, a dangerous outlaw with his sons jumping around him as he toted an arm full of feminine fabrics and lace.
He stopped at the back of the wagon and looked at her, a face aglow with humor.
“
Just what is it that you find so funny?” He asked as Esteban lowered the tailgate so he could lay down his load.
“
Oh nothing, I was appreciating this other side of you my brother…you look so – so dangerous, that’s all.” She spurted forth a snigger, trying to bite back the need to laugh out more.
“
Ha ha ha, see how funny it is when you’re sitting up half the night helping Maria make these dresses for yourselves and the girls. There’s black fabric and buckskin that I want you two to make pants and a vests for the boys. Something neat, simple – there’s also twine for a drawstring in their breeches. I want everyone looking their absolute best when we pull into the yard.”
“
If you look in the bottom of the mattress by the water barrel, you’ll see ribbons and hair stuff for the girls hair, and pins for you and Maria. I bought them when we were in Okelousa and hid them to make sure they were still available by the time we were near.” He said, separating everything he’d purchased, laying it out for her to see and his wife to inspect.
Hope’s grin turned into a groan.
“
Where’s Maria and the girls; Juan and Eugene?” He asked pulling the hats apart to pass to his eagerly waiting sons.
“
She’s over there near the edge of the river bathing the girls and herself I think. Juan’s guarding them. I don’t know where Eugene is, he walked off and I haven’t seen him since.” She answered, getting up to check on the rabbit stew she put on over the fire. She lifted the lid and stirred it and replaced it to cook a little longer.
He was adjusting Papo’s hat on his head, while Esteban did his own. “Gracias Jefé, I like it.” Papo was smiling up at him as he repeated Esteban’s words of thanks.
“
I want a black one like yours papah. I’on want one like theirs!” Felix whined down at his hat, holding it as he turned it over, back and forth trying to see what was so special about this brown hat. He squealed when he found himself lifted from by the arms by his father, who brought his face a hairs breadth from his own.
“
Be happy with the brown one, or wear nothing at all.” He spoke low and dangerous. Such a tone would have shaken any of his enemies, yet Felix with wide eyes asked. “They ain’t have no black one for me papah?”
Mike’s eyes widened as he growled threateningly.
“
Oh fine then, I’ah keep this one.” He murmured with a pout. Mike set him down needing the distance between them. “Dios mio hijo, you’re never satisfied, go! Get washed for supper.” Felix ran to do as he was told. Mike took his own hat off, finding a spot on a rock next to his sister. He felt the beginning pangs of distress, with nervous jitters making him queasy. Eight or nine more days after they crossed the river, they would reach Vicksburg. He would then have to face whatever was awaiting him at Webster Fields.
“
It won’t be long now.” He said softly.
“
I can’t wait. I don’t remember much about the plantation, but I feel good about this visit.” Hope added.
“
I wish I could share in your enthusiasm. I’m telling you now Manny’s wife is not going to care for us showing up after all she did to be rid of us. Neither is the old man.”
“
The old man?” She asked, her brows drawn, confused.
“
Your grandfather, old man Morris. I wonder if the old codgers still alive. He sure didn’t care for me much
; I can tell you that now. He tried his damndest to get Manny to sell me you know. He refused, I wonder why?” He thought out loud.
“
What do you mean, you wonder why? He loved you, that is why. Your birth papers say as much and the will?! Have you forgotten that?! He did what he did because he loved us. Why do you keep fighting it – fighting him?”
“
Look, I suppose he did care in his own way but when you love someone, you do everything in your power to protect them! You do not take chances with their lives; you stand up for those you love, no matter what. You don’t back down – you don’t give in just to please others. The people you claim to love will always come first. No matter what you say, no matter what those papers say, he married that woman…and then…tore my mothers – heart – out.” Mike gritted in anger, his eyes growing moist. “You know what…when he returned, he had the nerve to come back to her. Oh don’t get me wrong, he eased his conscience by buying us things. He even bought me a stallion. I was so proud of that horse.” He slipped back thinking of that time, inhaling deeply. “He didn’t have to give me anything, because all I ever wanted was for him to treat my mother right, to do the right thing by her but he didn’t.” He fell silent a moment remembering everything from that time in his life.
Hope remained quiet, she knew her brother by now. If he felt the need to talk like this, it was best to remain silent and let him continue. It was her way of learning as much as she could about their father, their mother and Webster Fields.
“
She almost had a baby by him you know?” He suddenly spoke out.
“
Who?” Hope asked.
“
His wife, Katherine…but she lost it, because I dropped my wood horse on the stairs one day when she and mama were arguing. Mama was carrying you then, and Katherine pushed her. I ran back to keep her from hurting our mother because I knew she would not defend herself. Plus, she’d lost two other babies by Manny. I wasn’t about to let that lady hurt her, or you. Hmph, she slapped the hell out of me for running up to her.” He smiled then, shaking his head.
“
Lord what did she do that for! Our mama, oooh-weee! She was fit to be tied. One thing about her, she would kill for her babies. As big as I was, she still called me…her baby!” He admitted with a lump in his throat. He stared out at the river they would have to cross tomorrow. Again he slipped into reflective silence. Another moment went by, he stood and walked off towards his family, lost in thoughts bringing him down, that only his wife, and children could lift from him.