Gold Raven (47 page)

However, this time – he had been there – he had made it to his son just in time. While Mike could have lost his family, Manny had
and every day there was something to remind him of his wrongs to them.

"Echm – umm, excuse me please – I need to talk to my son." Mike said to those around him as he slowly made his way to Esteban. In the doorway, he looked down at him. Another summer or two, and Esteban would be close to his own height, if not there.

Outside on the back steps, "I'm sorry. I am – so – so sorry. What I laid before you – was wrong. The responsibility I handed over to you was not yours…it was mine. I am so – so sorry.”

“
I cannot say it enough son. We should never have gone back. Going back there nearly, lost me you, your mother, your brothers and your sisters. …and God almighty…I can only wonder where your tia is…because of me. I'm sorry…" Mike walked away, as tears gathered and fell. Esteban stood at the steps, his own eyes running.

"Promise me – you'll never leave us again." He called out to his father before the distance became too great. Mike stopped, turned. "My son, I promise you – never again will this family be parted…never again."

Mike stood waiting for his son to come to him, but he did not, he only nodded and turned, walking up the steps to enter the house. He stood realizing that he had robbed his son of his childhood – just as he had once felt his father, had robbed him of his. He remembered resenting his father, thinking
'Where was he when he needed him?'
And now he faced his son, who had possibly said the same of him.
'Where was I – when my family, my son - needed me?'

Mike could not bring himself to go back in; he walked to the corral and leaned there, looking out over his land. Unsure of how long he had been standing there, his father quietly joined him, leaning with the exact same pose.

They were quiet for some time before Mike spoke.

"I had her! I had her with me – God I wish I had just stayed here. If I had, she would be with us right now."

Manny exhaled feeling empathy, "I fear – we are cursed my son, the Webster men. I have yet to know of one who has not said at sometime or another,
'If I'd only – if I'd just.'
"

Mike looked up at Manny.

"We have to find her."

"Yes…and we will." Manny stood from the rail of the corral, turning to head back towards the house. "You've been away from your family long enough. Come, you should know by now, time, is too precious to be wasting."

As the family regrouped, Mike, throughout the day, had a private moment with each child, determined to repair his rift with them.

Talking, sharing information and planning filled the rest of the day. Mike knew that the other women were to be taken to Fort Jacques; so they automatically figured that had to be where Hope would be as well if she made it back to the camp in time to be arrested with the others. Needing a few days to recuperate, everyone pitched in to help Maria shut down the house.

Following the sixth day, they were off to find Hope and then to board a ship for New York along with Manny’s men. Once there – the focus of the search would be on Lena…that is, if they had Hope back. If not, it was back to finding mother and daughter again. A calm acceptance was sweeping over Manny, the kind that comes with age and wisdom. He no longer needed Gaitsu's reassurance. He could feel it in the air – their time was coming…for all to be together.

Riding before the Indian, or behind, was all the same to Hope. This seemed to be the story of her life; the bane of her existence. He explained that to his people, he was Chief Red Crow; in the world of his mother, with his grandfather O'Brien, his name was Joseph Avery O'Brien. To relax her, to inform her, to familiarize her with what would now be her life…he told her as much as he thought she should know. Without commenting one way or the other, Hope listened with little choice, for the time being.

She took into account that he was persistent with this notion of her being his wife and because of her current circumstances, she appeared to accept it. At the beginning of their traveling together, on horseback was the only time he allowed himself to get close to her. On the second night's journey, he could do little to combat his need to be near. With her sleeping, he finally sidled up close beside her, his eyes adoringly exploring her lush curves and soft warmth, comparing her now – to the little girl she had once been. He was amazed at how time could fully expose the wonder of God’s creation of woman, especially this one. With a pounding strong in his chest, he lay beside her enraptured, drawn like a moth to a flame. Carefully, his fingers tested the texture of the curly gold strands, now controlled within a tight braid, his mind playing over the scene of her combing and brushing it after he had made his grooming toiletries available to her. She was mostly quiet, docile and serene, he smiled, not at all fooled…she was biding her time. He imagined caressing her bare skin, soft to the touch, clean and fresh smelling.

It was a pleasure to know that she believed in cleanliness as he did, he noted this by her request to stop near a stream so she might bathe. He gave her the privacy needed, warning her not to test him by using that time to escape. Hope had not bothered, she felt secure with him, even though she would not admit it. He would not bow to her will, but he would not hurt her either. Besides
, her mother and his mother had been close friends, she needed to be with someone who knew her, knew of her past, who would care for her and protect her; for the time being, until she could find a way to get back to her brother and his family.

At night, while she lay resting, the cool intoxicating breeze would caress over her body as he wanted to, making her flesh prickle, her nipples harden to aching points. With his mouth watering, he gave in the second night and reached a nervous hand towards her supine form; allowing his hand to carefully, softly roam over her body, ever so lightly so as not to awaken her. He realized too late this only made it harder on his determination to wait until they were married before he would enjoy his wife. Before he pulled himself away, he was fully inflamed and went for a cold dip in the stream to dampen his desire.

Lesson learned, he made it a point to stay as far away from her as possible when they stopped for the evening, or else there was a chance he would fail to make it to the village with her still a virgin.

As for Hope, something was sweeping over her in the presence of this Indian; a somewhat careless curiosity as it were; although her first kiss had not been what she had expected it to be because of her inexperience; secretly, she hoped he would try to kiss her again. Her body was awakening in ways that left her breathless with him in close proximity. While the kiss had been slightly smothering, she longed for that tingling feeling that soon followed it, again. Playing in her mind now, were the kisses she had witnessed her brother giving Maria, and the ones that Alfredo and Anna shared, as well the ghostly embraces of her parents. This Indian, Red Crow, had given her a sample of what it was that made people who cared for one another wish to be so intimate.

If not for being unable to breath, she might have allowed his kisses to linger a bit longer. She wondered, was it something she was doing wrong when he kissed her? She knew it was possible, since it was all new to her. There was also the chance the Indian did not know what he was doing.
'It's
possible.'
She thought, but observing him, she somehow doubted it was, him.
'You brazen hussy…if your brother knew of the thoughts going through your mind!'

Having her brother come to mind, she felt bad…he was no doubt facing hell and here she was, lusting for the kisses of an Indian.

She sighed. Turning to her side, she looked across the space that separated them, to see him lying on his back, staring up at the stars.

She decided to be the first to initiate a discussion. "You can't sleep either, hm?"

"Not if you continue to ask questions when I try!" He snapped brusquely.

"You - heathenish louse! I have said little to you thus far, and when I do – you snap at me?! Go to hell!" She shot angrily feeling hurt, turning her back to him.
'What have I done to him?'
She thought, her arm bent under her head.
'Ever since that night, he has kept his distance. His manner is as if I am forcing him to be with me, instead of the other way around.'
Her mind drifted against her will to the last night he lay near her. She blushed, berating herself as she remembered pretending to sleep. Fear had kept her still, feigning slumber when his hand explored her body. What had started out as fear, turned quickly into a stimulating heat, a tremor that left her body with a delicious, curious ache, causing a foreign and new sensation between her thighs; a throb that built enough to let her know…he was doing something she didn't want him to stop. Hours had passed before the commotion within her body calmed enough for her to rest. She thought of the way she had laid there, allowing him such liberties, and felt shame, more so because tonight…she wanted him to touch her that way again. She wanted his hand gliding softly over her breast again, to linger there and gently squeeze as he had the night before. It had taken everything in her not to moan, holding her breath so that it would not escape and alert him to her true desires.

The fight had increased when his hand moved on over her stomach where he, in a circular motion, admired the flatness of it, the narrowness of her waist and then the widening of his hips. Carefully touching and rubbing her thighs, letting his fingers creep gently to that spot where no fingers had ever been in such a way. Never had she imagined that that part of her body could come alive, as it had done. She’d bit into her tongue, battling with the enormous groan about to give her pretense away, when, just in the nick of time, he had bolted up…leaving her burning and trying to breathe normally again.

The recollections made Hope whimper louder than she intended as her body responded to the memory of his touch.

"What is wrong?!" He growled, frustrated with himself and her.

"Nothing! Nothing at all!"

"Then keep silent, you make too much noise in your sleep."

"I – wasn't – sleeping!" She sat up and announced smartly.

She blinked, and he was there, at her side. Kneeling beside her, he snatched her to his chest; gripping her arms tightly, he ground out. "You will learn to speak to me as one would her husband or-…"

"You let go of me, damn you-…"

"What have I told you about your tongue?!"

"Go – to – hell!" She growled bravely, mentally calling herself crazy at the same time.

"A woman who cannot control her tongue is deserving of having it cut out."

"Perhaps, but I assure you, you'll lose something awfully precious of your own before you succeed!"

"You threaten me?"

"You, threaten me." She returned boldly, staring into his eyes; breathing hard, her eyes went from his eyes to his lips…she wanted him to kiss her again. She would not resist if he wanted to. Her heart beat fast, desiring another chance. His hand came up quickly, his fingers grabbing the back of her head, his thumb at her throat as she thrust herself closer, daring him to do what he would. The sight of her fiery boldness intensified his desire; with a groan of surrender, he attacked her mouth with his own. Pulling her tightly against him, kissing her with all the passion and longing he had been storing from the day he knew, she would be his. He could feel her trying to reciprocate, trying to kiss him back; it made him draw away with a smile.

Suddenly he turned her loose and moved back from her. Hope was breathing hard, longing to be kissed until she got it. "You are mighty curious, anxious it seems for my touch, for my kisses. Know this; I will tolerate no unfaithfulness from you." He warned her.

Hope was stunned. "Who do you think you are? Saying that to me?!"

"Your future husband that is who; the desire you show is fine, as long as it is pointed at me and me alone. Believe me, once you become my wife, all that you long to try…you will get, as often as you wish…perhaps more often than you can handle."

She looked him up and down, "If – that is, I become your wife. Nothing you have done thus far has convinced me that I'm getting anything worth sacrificing the rest of my life for. You can't even kiss." She grinned following the tease, forcing a likewise grin from him.

He withheld comment as he rose and walked back to his side of the space between them. Lying back and making himself comfortable, the smile remained on his face. Hope watched and wondered and though she would not admit it, a keen anticipation was taking root. The next morning, after a few hours of traveling, they finally met up with the others.