Authors: Mari Mancusi
I entered the bathroom and peeked under each and every stall, making sure we were really by ourselves. Then I cleared my throat.
“Becca?”
I watched her feet freeze from behind the stall door.
“Yeah?” she asked, her voice sounding tinny and scared.
“Can we talk?”
For a moment there was silence. But, of course, she knew she didn't have a choice. She couldn't stay in the bathroom forever. Finally, the toilet flushed and the door swung open. Becca emerged looking cagey and wide-eyed. “Sure,” she said. “What's up?”
“Look, Becca,” I said, putting a hand on her arm. “I don't know how else to do this so I'm just going to come out and say it.” I drew in a breath. “I saw the video.”
Becca's face drained of all color. Her hands gripped the bathroom counter so hard I could see her knuckles turning white. “How did you . . . ?” she croaked. “I mean . . . what . . . ?” She swallowed hard. “Oh, Lexi.”
She looked so devastated. Obviously she was extremely sorry for what she'd done. Giving her my best forgiving smile, I pulled her into my arms and tried to give her a hug. Her body was stiff, and she was shaking like a leaf. Poor thing. She'd been suffering with this secret for way too long. Now she could just let it go.
“It's okay, Becca,” I assured her. “I don't even care about what you did. I mean, sure, I probably wouldn't nominate you for best friend of the year or anything. Butâ”
She jerked away from the hug, staring at me with a horrified look on her face. “Please don't tell anyone,” she begged, her voice hoarse.
“I won't,” I assured her, a little confused, to be honest. “But it's really no big deal.”
“No big deal? I could be kicked out of school! And if my parents found out . . .”
“What?” I stared at her, now really, really confused. “It was just a kiss! I mean, I know technically we're not supposed to be alone with boys, blah, blah, blah. But there's no way they'd kick you out of school for something so . . .” I trailed off, realizing Becca was staring at me incredulously.
“Are you talking about me and Cam?” she demanded.
“Uh, yeah?” I frowned. “Isn't that what you're talking about? That video of you and him making out outside of the dance after my accident?”
I could see Becca swallow hard. “Everyone knows about that,” she protested. “I mean, except you, I guess. But it was no big deal. He was upset cause you wouldn't let anyone visit you while you were at the hospital. I was comforting him. He got the wrong idea. Did you even watch the whole video? The part where I punched him in the face two seconds later? That's why Olivia saved it in the first place. In case he tried to say somethingâwe wanted proof that he deserved what he got.”
“Oh.” Now I was completely at a loss. If this were true (and I had no reason to believe it wasn't) then why had she acted so scared when I'd first mentioned a video. Was there another video?
“Becca,” I said, turning back to her. “When I saidâ”
Before I could get the words out, the bathroom door burst open. Olivia and two Boarder Barbies sauntered in. She narrowed her eyes at me, then turned to Becca.
“There you are!” she cried. “We were beginning to think you'd fallen in.”
Becca's face turned beet red. She shuffled from foot to foot. “I was justâwashing my hands,” she stammered.
“Well, wash them and let's go,” Olivia announced. “We've got important things to do. The boys at table three won't just flirt with themselves you know.”
I caught Becca giving me an anguished look.
“You don't have to do what she says, you know,” I reminded her softly, even though I was pretty sure, from the look on her face, that it would do no good.
Sure enough, she just shook her head. “You don't understand, Lexi,” she said at last. “And if you did, well, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be asking me to stay.”
I
stared at the computer screen after dinner, my heart pounding in my chest as my fingers hovered over the keys. Did I really want to do this? It was breaking all sorts of rules. In fact, I could probably even get expelled from school. But what choice did I have? I had to know what Olivia was holding over Becca. If it wasn't the Cam thing, it had to be something else.
I drew in a breath. Then I typed in her password.
The page loaded, and I soon found myself viewing Olivia's desktop, the picture of her and her mom at the bottom of the half-pipe stretching across the screen. It didn't take me long to find and select Becca's folder, and I forced myself to click it open, as apprehension coursed through my veins.
But the fear soon simmered to disappointment as I checked out each and every file. The same files that had been there before. Nothing new. Nothing incriminating. Nothing to give Olivia power over my friend.
Frustrated, I moved to sign out of the account. But before I could, the dorm room door swung open. I looked behind me guiltily as I saw Caitlin step into the room.
“What are you looking at?” she asked curiously, crossing the room and peering over my shoulder before I could close out of anything. “What's that? What are all those names? And why do you have a picture of Olivia on your computer?”
I sighed, deciding to come clean. “Do you promise not to tell anyone?”
“Of course!”
I wasn't a hundred percent sure I believed her, but I felt the need to tell someone, and she was the only one available. “Fine,” I said. “I'm logged into Olivia's desktop. I was trying to figure out if she had something on Becca that was making her act so weird.” I sighed. “But there's nothing there. Nothing! I just don't get it. I mean, did you know Cam kissed Becca?”
Caitlin grinned. “Yes! And then she punched him in the face!”
I sighed, staring at the photo of Olivia and her mom. “I just don't get it,” I repeated. Then I shook my head. “Oh well. I guess that's it.” I made a move to close the window again.
“Wait a sec! She has files on everyone? What about me?” Caitlin asked, grabbing the mouse from my hand. She clicked the folder to make the files list alphabetically. But there was no Caitlin in the
C
section.
“What? Come on, Olivia!” she cried. “I don't even warrant a brief mention?” She looked so offended I had to laugh.
“Do you
want
her to have something on you?”
“Duh! It would make me feel so scandalous.” She snorted. “Did you look at
your
file? I can't even imagine the dirt she's got on you.”
“I don't want to know.”
Caitlin gave me a skeptical look. “Seriously? You aren't even the least bit curious?”
Okay, I was. In fact, suddenly I was insanely curious and wondered why it hadn't occurred to me to look before now. As I grabbed the mouse from her and guided it over to my name, Caitlin let out an excited squeak. I shot her a warning look. “Remember what I told you,” I reminded her.
“It stays in the vault,” my roommate assured me, holding up her fingers in a Girl Scoutâstyle salute.
I clicked on the folder and it opened.
“Whoa,” Caitlin breathed as the files revealed themselves. Unlike Becca's folder, which contained only a few items, my folder was packed to the brim. Newspaper articles about my wins, articles about my losses. Stuff about the accident. Olivia had collected it all.
“Dude, that's creepy,” my roommate declared. “It's like she's totally obsessed with you!”
“Yeah,” I said, scrolling through the files, feeling more and more sick to my stomach. My mouse hovered over a .mov file, and I swallowed hard. She had a video of me, too? My mind flashed to the open mic night at Bill's. Becca had taken a bunch of pictures and video. Had she then handed them over to my enemy for future blackmail purposes?
I clicked on the video. I had to know for sure.
But as the player loaded up and the video started to play, I realized it wasn't of me singing at all.
“Dude,” Caitlin cried. “Is that what I think it is?”
I stared at the screen in disbelief. Watching a scene straight out of my nightmares. A shaky home video of that fateful day on the snowboard cross course when Olivia had unofficially attempted to ruin my life.
“Why would she keep this?” I asked, watching, horrified, as the camera panned across the course. “I mean, why would she want evidence lying around of what she did to me?”
Caitlin looked at me, confused. “Wait, what did she do?”
I sighed, pressing pause on the video. “You have to promise never to tell anyone.”
“I already promised, remember? Geez, do you want it written in blood?”
It wasn't a bad idea, actually, but I decided to tell her anyway. What did it matter at this point? There was a video. An actual video.
“Are you serious?” Caitlin cried when I had finished. “I mean, I knew Olivia was crazy, but that's like âgo directly to jail, do not pass go,' crazy. Why didn't you say something?”
“It's a long story,” I muttered. I dragged my mouse back to the video, and I wondered if I should just delete it and be done with it forever. But that would be a mistake, I realized. Because now I had something to use against Olivia. Something to ruin her life if she tried again to ruin mine. I didn't want to have to stoop to her level. But I wanted to keep the option open, just in case.
I unpaused the video. The camera panned up the mountain, revealing Olivia, Becca, and me racing down the slope. I was in a good position, right between my two competitors. We got closer and closer. I watched as I bent my knees, readying myself forâ
I squeezed my eyes shut, unable to watch as we came barreling toward the lip of the jump. I knew what was going to happen, and the last thing I wanted to do was to seeâ
“Oh my gosh!” Caitlin screeched.
“What?” I forced my eyes open, just in time to treat myself to a vision of year-ago me crashing into the old oak tree.
“Argh!” I cried, throwing my hands over my eyes again. “I can't watch this!” My stomach rolled, and I was this close to throwing up. “Stop the video! Please.”
Caitlin reached over and stopped it. I opened my eyes to see a freeze-frame of me, on the ground, clutching my knee, sobbing pitifully. I quickly switched off the monitor, swallowing back the nausea.
“Did you see it?” I asked in a trembling voice. “Did you see Olivia do it?” My heart pounded in my chest as I waited for her confirmation.
“Um.” Caitlin shuffled from foot to foot, refusing to meet my eyes. Fear started thrumming through my veins, but I wasn't sure why.
“What?” I asked, confused. “What's wrong? Couldn't you see it happen?” Maybe the angle had been wrong. Or someone had stepped in the way.
“I saw it,” Caitlin said in a tight voice that sounded nothing like her own. “Believe me, I saw it.”
I swallowed hard. “You saw Olivia grab my jacket?”
“No.” She shook her head. “I saw Becca do it.”
W
hat?” I asked, obviously having heard her wrong. “What did you just say?”
“Lexi . . .” Caitlin's face was pained.
“No!” I cried. “You must have seen it wrong.” I switched the monitor back on and grabbed the mouse, moving the pointer back over to the video. There had to be some mistake. Obviously. Because any alternative would be completely absurd. Becca grabbing my jacket? Becca destroying my life? Becca had been my best friend. There was absolutely no way Becca would everâ
Then I remembered Becca's terrified face in the bathroom. When I told her I'd seen the video. Of course I'd meant the video of her kissing Cam. But she'd meant . . . something else entirely.
“I'm so sorry, Lex,” Caitlin was saying as the video started playing again. She pressed a hand to my back, but I shrugged it off, my eyes glued to the screen as the three of us came racing down the hill again. I didn't want to watch. I really didn't want to watch. But I forced my eyes to stay focused on the screen. I had to know.
Even though, deep down, I already did.
“Stop it,” I managed to choke out somehow after it was all said and done. “Stop the video.”
I felt as if I'd been punched in the stomach, and it was all I could do to not throw up then and there. Becca was my friend. She'd never do something like this. This was the kind of thing Olivia did to people. Not Becca. Not my best friend Becca.
“Maybe it was an accident,” I whispered, sinking down onto the floor. It was all I could do, at that point, not to curl up in a fetal position as everything started sliding into a sick sense of place. Olivia must have been holding this over Becca's head all year long. Threatening to go public if Becca didn't do what she said. Get her kicked out of school, maybe land her in juvenile detention . . .
“An accident?” I could feel Caitlin's incredulous stare. “Lexi, come on. How could someone just accidentally grab someone's jacket and yank them down like that?”
She was right. I knew she was right. There was no denying it now; we'd both seen the whole thing caught on video. Besides, if it had been an accident somehow, wouldn't Becca have admitted it right away? Told everyone what had happened and forfeited the race? Instead, she'd gone on to win and take first place. Scoring a spot on the team and two new sponsors, all while I was being rushed to the ER.
“Why, Becca?” I yelled to no one, stumbling over to my bed and throwing myself down on my pillow. “Why would you do something like that? To me!”
Caitlin climbed onto the bed next to me, pulling me into a hug. For a moment we just lay there. Even cheerful Caitlin could think of nothing positive to say in a moment like this.
“What are you going to do?” she asked at last. “Are you going to tell your dad? Or go straight to the school board?”