Read Good Enough to Trust (Good Enough, Book 2 - Going Back) Online
Authors: Zara Stoneley
“I can’t do this.”
Shit.
“Whatdoyoumean?”
It came out in a rush, which was pretty near impossible given the way I was
practically panting, for it, for him. “You can’t, you must, I must, I need, I
think I mean, you can’t—”
He laughed, but it
wasn’t cruel, it was needy and wanting and lust. “I didn’t mean I don’t want
every gorgeous bit of you. I meant not like this.” He reached down before I
could catch on what he was going to do, and the flimsy pyjama bottoms came off
in one quick tug. “These are indecent.” Then he ripped them apart, his body
still trapping mine against the mattress and as I reached up to try and rescue
them he took my wrists again, pinned them high and had the torn bottoms binding
them before I’d got round to shutting my mouth. Two seconds, I swear it was two
seconds and he had me tied, helpless, to the bed and boy did it turn me on. I
was panting, and squirming and hoping against hope that he was about to rub
that swollen hard cock of his against my damp pussy but he knelt up, between my
legs and ran his finger down my stomach until my muscles quivered in response.
Then he swung off the bed, looking round.
“Ha, you are some
untidy girl aren’t you? Old habits die hard.” He was grinning as he fished a
pair of stockings from under the bed, his grin spreading into a smile that
threatened to split his face as he took one of my ankles and wrapped the black
stocking around it, then secured it to the bottom bed post. He hadn’t even got
to the other ankle and I swear I felt like one finger on my thigh and I’d be
coming. The cold air bathed my inner thighs but my face was burning hot with
anticipation and need and I ran my damp tongue over parched lips as his cock
stood to attention at his flies. He finished the undressing job then, slowly,
oh so slowly. Eased his jeans down all the way so that I could see those tight
lean hips, peeled his T-shirt off so that I could imagine licking that broad
strong chest, sprinkled with dark hairs, tanned nut brown apart from the black
tattoo on the front of his left shoulder. For a moment, a brief moment I
couldn’t take my eyes off it, like a ship’s wheel, eight spokes and intricate,
but I was burning up on the outside and trembling on the inside and when he
took the single step back to the bed my breath hitched in my throat and all I
could do was stare into those dark eyes.
They were almost
black, too dark to read and a shudder of expectation ran through me, then he
leaned forward and his lips were soft against mine, which was far more shocking
than the harsh pressure of before. His mouth lingered on the soft skin of my
neck, his tongue tracing a damp trail, then he sucked gently and my cunt
clenched with need.
“Please.”
He ignored me,
pressing the sensitive spot with the tip of his tongue as he sucked. I closed
my eyes, tried to control myself but I could feel the prickle in my nipples as
they hardened in response. He moved down, his hand cradling my swollen breast
as his mouth nipped gently and his tongue swirled softly against each nerve ending,
and then he took the hard swollen bud in his mouth and I clenched my fists,
fighting the ties, tensing every muscle with need. A need to hold him, a need
to cradle his head as he sucked. But I couldn’t, and even my stomach was
clenching and my thighs tightening as I moaned. He moved on then, his mouth
burning a slow tortuous path down to my navel, and then he paused.
“I don’t know
whether this is hello or goodbye.” His teeth nipped at the soft skin on my
stomach. “The first time or the last, but I’m going to do it properly.” And his
harsh growl seemed to travel through his body to mine for the split second
before his tongue swept along my pussy. I wailed. That’s the only description.
He did it again, a long sweep of warmth and wet that made me shake and push
down against him as much as the ties would let me.
“You’re
beautiful.” His finger replaced his tongue as he slid in, knuckle deep then out
again, then he did it again and I was close to crying. I’d never hung around
for temptation, I was a do it now girl, but right this second I had no choice.
“Look at me.” I
looked at him, straight into those tawny eyes and he held my gaze as he thrust,
and his eyes darkened as I moaned and whimpered, and he played me and kissed me
and sucked me and licked me until I was practically vibrating, and all the time
he watched me. I tensed as I got closer, as my body started to tighten with
need and he went with me, thrusting harder until I was gasping and writhing,
and then his mouth came down on me, sucked the very core of me and I came.
I was still
trembling when he thrust deep inside me, a slow, deep languorous thrust that
brought us closer together than we’d ever been, and each time he plunged inside
me it was steady, deliberate, taking us nearer to a point that we wanted to
delay for as long as possible. We rocked together in a steady rhythm, his mouth
close enough to kiss, his heat close enough to feel. And his gaze never left my
face and I think for the first time ever in my life I realised what making love
could mean.
***
He was wrapped
around me, a safe cocoon and his breathing was deep and steady, his lips
brushed over my hair stirring something inside me, even though I was so
knackered I felt like I could have slept for a week.
His hands
tightened around me. “I don’t want to share you, I can’t do that, for a while I
thought I could just live with it, if it meant I could be with you. But I
can’t, and I don’t think I ever could.” The edge in his voice tore at something
deep inside me. “We were kids when we started this, too young to know what we’d
got going for us and when it all went wrong I thought maybe it was better to
back off. I was scared I couldn’t give you what you needed, Sophie, some days I
was scared I couldn’t even look after myself let alone someone else.”
“I know.” I
studied the oh so familiar chest, thought about the scars that I was starting
to accept. “You don’t have to.”
Messing around was
one thing, but me and Ollie had always been something different. It had just
taken me a while to admit it to myself.
“Share me, I mean.
I’m not doing anything with Will, or his brother.” He stilled and I could
imagine the raised eyebrow. Oops, motor mouth at it again, too much
information.
“He’s got a
brother?”
“Two.” In for a
penny, in for a pound. “But I’ve only met one. He’s a nice guy Ollie, but
that’s all.”
He rolled over on
to his back and took me with him and I traced my fingers up his abs, tugged at
the sprinkle of hairs on his chest.
“Stop that.” His
voice was a lazy drawl, but I had a feeling that if I carried on he might just
forget about Will and his brothers. “Unless you want me to sort you out.” Ha, I
was right. “So does Will know he’s just a nice guy? I got the impression he was
keen.”
“He knows.” I
traced my finger up a bit higher to the tattoo. “I think he wants a nice girl
to marry and breed with, and I’m not that nice a girl.” I traced around the
dark circle outline. “When did you have this done?”
“After the
accident. It’s a dharma wheel.”
“And what’s a
dharma wheel?” Ollie never did things without a reason, people thought he did,
that he could be reckless and random, but he was far from random.
“It’s Buddhist
symbolism.” His words were soft, almost lulling.
“Of?”
“Wisdom, morals
and concentration. And that tickles, will you stop it.”
His hand came down
over mine. “Use your higher concentration to ignore it.”
“Always got an
answer, haven’t you.” But his hand tightened almost possessively over mine,
holding me there, just above his heart.
“Sophie means
wisdom.”
“I know.” He
would.
“I’ve not always
been that wise, have I?”
“You need to get
old before you get wise darling, takes a lifetime.”
“I haven’t got
that long to waste.”
He laughed at me,
then raised my hand up to his mouth, took the tips of my fingers between his
lips. And I watched him and hoped he’d stay, and I’d be wise.
“It wasn’t my
fault.”
“I know it wasn’t.
You mean you’ve been blaming yourself?” He paused, a long pause, lowered my
hand back to his chest. “And you’ve been blaming me.” He got it, it wasn’t a
question.
“Yeah, I blamed
you as well.”
“Which is why you
wouldn’t let me near you after?”
“Partly.” It was
my turn to hesitate. “But mainly because you’d abandoned me, you didn’t care
enough to come and find me.”
“I didn’t abandon
you, Sophie. I came as soon as I knew I was going to be okay.”
“I know that now,
but I didn’t then. You should have told me.”
“So it’s still my
fault?”
I sighed. “No. No,
it’s not your fault. There were too many things going on, too much that hurt
and I think I’ve just realised that love isn’t always easy, straightforward. I
think Mum and Dad had a real passion and that’s what I need too, but having it
all can hurt.”
It had hurt them,
it had hurt me and I think I was just starting to realise how much it had hurt
Ollie.
“He was ill, Dad,
he couldn’t help it.” I told him everything I knew, about Mum, about Dad and he
didn’t say a word until I’d finished, and then he just hugged me a tiny bit
closer.
“I was ill, but I
could have explained, made you listen which is an option your Dad didn’t have.”
“I’m not very good
at listening though, am I?”
He laughed. “Good
enough.”
“Why did you come
and find me, Ol?”
“I couldn’t not.
Guess I thought it was time to do what I should have done years ago, and I
always reckoned I was better at actions than words.” He rested his capable hand
at my waist and his thumb traced a circle in the indent. My skin prickled as a
flush of goose bumps spread over every single centimetre. Yeah, he was good at
actions, very good. I tried to ignore the need that was filtering through me.
“I was going to
come back and explain you know, when I’d done this. When do you have to go back
to Cornwall?”
He looked at me.
“When do you want me to?”
“I don’t. But,
you’ve got a place down there, a life.”
“I don’t have to
go back.”
“You could do.” My
heart missed a beat at the way his face tightened. “And I could come down for
the rest of the year. See how it goes.”
“But your job?”
“I’ve got a year
off, we could see.”
“I don’t get what
it is with you and grumpy old Grove and Grove.” I smiled and thought back to
all those years ago when I’d decided I was going to work there. “You could work
somewhere much better.”
“Not better,
different. When I was a little girl we used to walk past their offices on the
way to school, me and Mum, and she used to say that one day she could see me
there, all grown up in a suit. It was like the best place to work round here,
it made her proud to think I might be clever enough to work in an office and
wear a suit. And Grove and Grove would have made her proudest of all.”
He hugged me close
and didn’t say anything, because he knew that I hadn’t been ready to lose my
Mum, I probably would never have been ready.
“I’ve got to do
one more thing before we go.”
“Go to the
cemetery to see your Mum and Dad?”
I nodded. “Tell
her I finally understand.”
“I’ll come.”
“You don’t need
to.”
“I know I don’t
need to. I want to.”
I looked up at his
strong steady face, bad boy turned good. But not too good. “When I read her
words now I can hear her saying them, I couldn’t before. I thought he’d made
her write them. I want to tell her.”
He smiled. “Good,
then where do you want to go after that?”
“You decide. Take
me where you think we should go.”
“You trust me to
decide?”
I smiled and
slipped my hand into his. Oh yes, I trusted him with every bit of me, just like
Mum and Dad had trusted each other right to the end, and it felt good.
Very good.
TABLE OF CONTENTS