âI guess it'll be good to pamper myself for a change.'
The Effie domino has fallen into place. Only one remains.
I wish Ricki would get that look off her face. The way she is staring at me, you'd think I'd just ripped apart her favourite childhood stuffed toy that still sits on her bed after all of these years.
âRicki, you can't ruin this for the girls. It's their only chance at freedom for a while.' I may be a sucker for a guilt trip but I can also pull one when it's needed.
âOkay, okay. We'll do a girlie retreat. But I will organise it.'
I'll concede to that. It'll probably do me some good to get away from all the madness for a while. My mother is driving me nuts. She has all these plans for the lead-up to the wedding; a whole lot of crap that I just don't want to get involved in. She wants Chris and me to go visiting all the relatives so that I can introduce him to them. It's ridiculous. He's already met the ones that count and he's even met some that don't. I mean, he survived meeting Sophia at Alex's engagement, he doesn't need to be subjected to the whole clan. He's survived neurotic jealous psychotic me, but he may not be able to survive the rest of my family. My mother also wants me to have a kitchen tea. Why? So everyone can go âoh' and âah' when I receive five toasters, seven kettles and three toasted sandwich makers that I don't need. I wish we could just elope. It's getting out of hand. I've agreed to have the traditional bed-making ceremony so I can keep my mother-in-law happy. What else do they want from me? Blood?
âDes, your phone.'
âWho is it, Rick?' This is a girlie night. I don't want interruptions. And it better not be my mother with another idea for the wedding.
âIt's not your mother. Relax.'
She knows me so well.
âIt's Chris.'
I think I'll take this call in Ricki's room. Given the mood that Effie and Katerina are in, they'd start making kissy kissy noises in the background if I tried to talk to Chris out here in the living area.
âHi babe.' Ah, he still makes my heart flutter. Corny as it might be, every time I hear Chris's voice on the phone when we've been apart for a while, it feels like magic, like there are fireworks going off in my heart.
âHey beautiful lady.'
And he always knows just what to say.
âYou coming over tonight?'
I think I better bail on Chris tonight. Something is going on with Ricki and I have to find out what it is.
âI think I'll manage to kick Evan and the boys out at a decent hour.'
Yeah, right! They're watching the soccer and having a PlayStation marathon. I'd probably walk in on the third pizza delivery and they'd still be going strong.
âI might stay up here tonight, hon. Something's up with Ricki and Ari.' Actually, Ari is at Chris's place and is going back to his parents' tonight. I wonder. âHas Ari said anything to you?'
âDon't meddle, Des.'
I don't like that warning tone from Chris. He knows something and he hasn't told me.
âI'm not meddling. I just want to make sure that my best friend is okay. That's what best friends do.' And we also destroy guys that hurt our best friends. âHe's said something to you, hasn't he?' It's a proven fact that men gossip just as much as women do. Men are just sneakier about it. âHe's not planning on breaking up with her, is he?' He wouldn't do that after all this time would he? What a prick. Practically living with her for all this time and now breaking up with her.
âYou always jump to the worst and wrong conclusions, Desi.'
Oh my God! This is fantastic. âHe's going to ask Ricki to marry him, isn't he?' This is so exciting! I wonder if Ricki has any idea she's going to be returning to Melbourne an engaged woman?
âDesi, you keep your mouth shut!'
What does he think I'm going to do? Announce it to the whole neighbourhood in Ocean Grove? I can keep a secret. Most of the time, anyway. I hope he's planning on asking her soon. I could burst trying to keep this inside!
âAnd seeing that you're staying at Ricki's tonight, you can do Ari a favour.'
Sneaky shits, they were banking on the fact that wine would be drunk and I would have to spend the night here. They predicted Ricki would need me.
âGet Ricki out of the house after lunch tomorrow and text Ari when you're out of there.'
I think I'd better talk to Ari just to be sure that Chris is not making this up. This is fantastic. But if I am going to go through all this effort of helping him with this little plan, I better be their first and only choice for
koumbara
. I mean, who else could they possibly choose to do the honours at their wedding?
âEarth to Desi. Hello?'
I wish I wasn't on this earth at this moment. I have to sit on this little secret all night and all day tomorrow. I need someone to gag me.
âWhat!' I don't need the temptation of opening my mouth. It just makes it all the more easier for this secret to come tumbling out.
âKati and I are going.'
Oh, yeah, Effie has to drive Kati home. The mothers of our little quartet have child-imposed curfews. That means it's just going to be Ricki, my secret and me.
âAre you coming?'
As much as I would love to get out of here tonight I can't. I'm stuck here.
âI think I might crash here tonight. You don't mind, do you, Ricki?' Maybe she'll tell me that she has plans and she wants me to get my butt out of here.
âCool. Got a couple more bottles of wine in the fridge.'
God help me, if she gets me drunk we are in a shit load of trouble.
One bottle of wine down, on top of the two that we shared with Effie and Kati and I'm feeling slightly tipsy.
âDo you think something is up with Ari?'
Why did she have to start this conversation so soon? Why couldn't she wait till I had passed out?
âSomething's wrong and he's not telling me what it is.'
âYou're just being paranoid, Rick.' I can say no more without letting the cat out of the bag. âWhat could possibly be wrong?'
âI don't know, Des. He's just been weird lately.'
I better be the supporting best friend and convince her that there is no crisis here. At the same time I have to make sure I don't tell her what her beloved is really planning. This is all too much work.
âAnd he's going home to his parents tonight. He never does that. He always comes back here on the weekend.'
Oh, God, she's so stressed out. How can I ease her stress without telling her what's going on? There is too much pressure on my brain.
âHe probably just wanted to let us have our girlie night.' Plausible. Believable. I hope Ricki buys it. But the way she's shaking her head tells me that this is not an acceptable explanation for her.
âAnd last night he didn't get back here until after ten. When I asked him where he was he told me he got caught up at work and had to stay back.'
Again, that's not acceptable to her. He was probably out buying an engagement ring.
âHe never works back that late, and I called the office at eight and he wasn't there.'
I think Ricki and I have been hanging around together for too long. My neurosis is rubbing off on her.
âRick, it's probably nothing. He's probably just busy at work and can get there faster from his parents' place.'
âTomorrow's Sunday. He's not going to work tomorrow.'
âRicki, trust me, everything is going to be fine. Just have a little faith.' I sound like a really bad eighties love song. I think I might have had a tad too much to drink. I think I should go to bed before anything else is said tonight.
âWhat if he's met someone else? What if he doesn't love me anymore?'
She's more pathetic than me when she's drunk. I am so going to rub tonight in her face after Ari pops the question.
âHe hasn't met anyone else. He loves you like crazy. Everything will make sense tomorrow.' Whoops, I think I've said too much.
âWhy?'
I've definitely said too much. It's all Chris's fault; he should never have told me what Ari is planning. I'm sorry, but a girl's night, best friends, plenty of wine â¦Â what was he thinking?
âWhat's happening tomorrow, Des? Why will it all make sense?'
I better do some major saving here. âHoney, all I mean is that tomorrow you'll be sober and we'll go out for coffee and some shopping and we'll work it out.'Â Sounds good, sounds like a plan. Why is Ricki shaking her head? What the hell is she up to?
âI'm going to drive to his mum's place â¦'
Oh, God, she's crying. She's had way too much to drink.
âAnd if he's not there ⦠if he's not there â¦'
âHoney, he's still at Chris's place. They'll be going all night with pizza and PlayStation.'
âThen I'm going to Chris's house. And you have to come with me.'
âWe're not going anywhere. He has not found someone else. He is not dumping you. Everything will make sense tomorrow. Don't you trust me, Rick?'
âOf course I do. You know what's going on, don't you?'
âNo.' God I can't look at her.
âBullshit. You can never look me in the eye when you try to lie to me.'
Fuck. At this moment in time, I hate the fact that she knows me so well. I may not be off-my-face drunk but I know that I'm drunk enough to not be able to string together a decent lie.
âRicki, if everything isn't okay by tomorrow night, I promise, I will come with you so we can totally rip the shit out of Ari, key his car, deflate his soccer ball and anything else you want to do.' Ari better not screw this up. âNow, will you please go to bed and sleep it off?' If she keeps this up much longer I will spill the beans just so I can shut her up.
âPromise you'll help me tomorrow then. Promise you'll help me track him down so I can find out what is going on?'
âHoney, tomorrow we'll go out for lunch and do some shopping, and if you still need to track him down after that then I will be right there beside you.'
And if I have to keep this promise I will rip Ari's lungs out through his nostrils.