Good Stepbrother (Love #2) (7 page)

“Make me forget,” I whispered raggedly as he opened his door. Stumbling inside, I pressed my mouth to his and kicked the door closed.

To his credit Peter did make me forget. For a little while. I became addicted to him. I needed him, he was fun and light. Things got crazier between us, and soon I was toying with new drugs, drinking all the time and having sex with anyone, anywhere. Mom was worried, but she had her own issues, she was losing babies left and right, and trying to just stay busy at work.

“I never see you anymore,” she murmured as I stopped by the house long enough to get clean clothes.

“I’m fine. Staying at Britney and Jennifer’s a lot.”

“You’re losing weight,” she started softly, running her hand over my thin wrist.

“Can we not do this?” I snapped, jerking away from her. “I’m fine.”

“You aren’t cheering anymore.”

“It’s hard to be cheerful these days.” Jamming clothes in my bag I hefted it to my shoulder and eyed her. “I’ll see you in a day or two.”

“I don’t like you not being here at night.”

“Their parents don’t care. It’s just a sleepover, Mom. Sorry I don’t want to be here for the miscarriage show. I’m almost eighteen anyway.”

“I feel like I’m losing you. I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid if I make you stay home you’ll hate me. I just worry about what you’re doing.”

Laughing roughly, I walked out of my room and started down the stairs. “What kind of trouble can I get into in Marysville, Nebraska, Mom? I mean, come on. This is the middle of white bread America. Get real.”

She followed me down the stairs and tried to hug me as I opened the door. “Baby, I’m worried.”

“Worry about your uterus,” I snapped coldly, taking off across the driveway to the car. Throwing my bag inside, I glanced up to see my mother crying in the doorway. Starting the car, I peeled out of the drive. I didn’t care anymore. Or maybe I cared too much.

Peter waited for me to return and as I walked into the apartment, he jiggled a little bag full of white pills at me. “Hey party girl, want to have some fun tonight?”

“Sure,” I lied. I didn’t want to. But if I didn’t make him happy, he wouldn’t love me, then I’d have to go home and deal with my mother and her non-functioning uterus. So I performed like a damn circus clown. Partying, drinking, dancing, skipping school, then repeat became my norm.

But that all ended when Charlie came to get me from Peter’s house two weeks before I was eighteen. The knock on the door startled me awake. It was four in the afternoon and I was still hungover from the night before. We hadn’t stopped partying until ten in the morning. Groggily, I pulled myself from under Peter’s arm and shuffled to the door.

I didn’t even stop to get dressed, so I wore a thong and a lacy bra when I flung the door wide and yelled, “What the fuck are you knocking for?” The words died in my throat and my eyes bugged out as Charlie sighed.

“God dammit. I didn’t want to believe it. Someone from the shop said they saw your car here all the time. Get dressed. Now. You’re coming home.”

“You’re not the boss of me,” I whispered petulantly.

“Fine, don’t come with me. I’ll call the cops and your little boyfriend will be locked up for being with an underage girl and God knows what else. Are you doing drugs, Bri?” He grabbed my wrist and held my arm out, searching my pale skin for marks.

“Leave me alone, Charlie,” I begged. “Just let me fester here.”

“No, I won’t. You have until the count of five to get moving or I’m calling the cops. If you come with me peacefully, I won’t tell your mother. Do you really want to worry her after she just miscarried again?”

Great, Charlie, just twist the knife in harder.
“Why do you care what I do?” I rasped.

“Someone has to. You’re throwing your life away. You can’t do this. You just can’t. Now move or I dial.” Whipping his cell phone from his pocket, he pursed his lips. “Let’s go.”

Nodding, I stepped back from the door. “Give me a few minutes, I need to get dressed.”

“You have five.”

I found my clothes and jerked them on. My bag had most of my things missing; all the people who’d been in and out of the apartment in the last weeks had taken my nice things. Shifting the strap up on my shoulder, I lowered my eyes as I opened the door and whispered, “Okay.”

The walk of shame out of that shitty apartment in the ghetto with Charlie was mortifying. He stared straight ahead and as I tried to go to my car, he jerked the keys from my hand and tossed them to a man standing nearby. “Jason, get that to the shop. Brielle, you’re coming with me.”

“That’s my car!” I yelled and he whirled around on me, his index finger inches from my nose.

“If you know what’s good for you, you’ll get in this car and come home quietly. I’ve never been more disappointed in someone in my life.”

I almost wished he’d hit me in the face, kicked me in the ribs, or beat me mercilessly. Charlie was a nice guy, and I’d never seen him look so angry. He was angry with me because I was hiding from my feelings and being a first class asshole. I deserved it.

Quietly, I nodded and he opened the passenger door. “Get in.”

“Okay, Charlie,” Sliding into the seat, I buckled in.

He walked around the car and opened his door before sliding behind the wheel. “I don’t ever want you to be around that scumbag again, do you understand me? The car will stay at the shop until school starts again. You will only drive back and forth to school, is that clear? When you get home, go straight upstairs and get cleaned up. Lisa’s at work, and I don’t want her to see you like this.”

“Crystal clear,” I whispered.

“Good. We’ll never speak of this again.”

We didn’t. The rest of the summer was spent in my room, hiding away from the world. For a little while, Charlie had scared me straight. Soon, though, I would break out of the house and sneak down to the convenience store to sweet talk the cashier into giving me a pack of menthol cigarettes. Other nights, I went to the Johnsons’ house to use their pool.

One sticky, sweltering night in August, I broke out of my window and shimmied down the trellis until my bare feet caressed the wet grass.

“Wait,” Carter hissed from his window.

I didn’t even glance back. If he really wanted to come with me, he could catch up.

“Where are you going?” he asked as he caught up to my side.

“To swim. Wanna come?”

“Sure. Where are we going to swim?”

I smiled. “The Johnsons have a pool.”

“Do they know we’re coming?”

Chuckling, I shook my head. “You’re so cute. No, they don’t.”

“So…we’re going to ask, right?” Oh Carter, what a good boy you are…

“No, we’re going to climb the fence, get naked, and swim. If you don’t have the balls for that, then go back home and get in bed for the night like a good little boy.”

“I’m coming.”

Laughing, I teased him a little. “Try not to in the water, okay? That’s gross.”

He snorted. “I’ll be fine.”

Pulling a pack of cigarettes out of the pocket of my shorts I stuck one in my mouth, lit it, and took a long drag. “Ahh…” I breathed out.

“They’re bad for your health,” he remarked and I shrugged.

“Anything that’s good is bad for you.”

“You’re different,” he said gently.

You have no idea, babe.
“I’m not a little kid anymore. Neither are you. Now we’re eighteen and the real world is coming for us.”

“Are you okay?”

“Okay is such an ambiguous term, Carter,” I replied drolly.

“I’ve been worried about you.”

“Again, so fuckin’ cute. Don’t worry about me. Worry about someone else, anyone else. Not me, Carter.” Taking another long drag of my cigarette, I blew out a menthol-scented cloud.

“I care about you, though.”

Pausing, I turned to face him. “I know you do. I’m telling you to stop.”

“I can’t. I’ll always care about you.”

“If you knew me, really knew me? You would hate me.” Walking faster, I had to get to the pool and get him out of my face.

He caught up with me easily and touched my elbow. “I
do
know you, Brielle. I’ve known you since kindergarten.”

No! I can’t deal with this, Carter! Stop! Please!
Pulling away from him, I snapped, “Look, if this is going to be an episode of Intervention or something, could you just go back home? I’m hot and I want to get wet. Is that so wrong? I don’t need to be quizzed about my fucked up life.”

“Okay, fine. Just know that I’m here for you.”

Blowing out another lungful of smoke I murmured softly, “I know you are.”

We ended up at the Johnsons’ house a few minutes later. The house was dark and I snickered. “Yes, the old bastards are asleep. Let’s go swim. Come give me a boost over and I’ll unlock the gate for you.”

“You’re not going to leave me out here by myself are you?” He worried so easily. It was adorable.

“You wound me.”

He hefted me up and I slid down the other side. Popping the gate open, I waved him inside. “Easy peasy.”

Stripping off my clothes, I left them in a pile by the edge of the pool and dove down in the chilly, crystalline water. My nipples tightened painfully but it felt glorious. I swam for a bit then broke the surface. Carter stood at the edge of the pool, seeming very unsure of himself.

“Come in,” I urged him.

He knelt by the side of the pool and slowly slid into the water. “Damn, I wish we had a pool,” he whispered.

“Why are you wearing your shorts? Are you hard?” I giggled softly, and he ducked under the water to avoid my question.

When he surfaced I splashed him. I’m not sure how long we were in the pool playing, but apparently we got a little loud because the porch light flicked on.

“Busted!” I shrieked, swimming fast for the ladder to climb out. Grabbing my clothes, I peeked over my shoulder to make sure Carter was coming. He followed hot on my heels and I realized I was running down the street naked as the day I was born. Suddenly, he grabbed my elbow and pulled me into the cemetery behind the old Baptist church. “Here, get dressed,” he whispered.

The thrill of nearly being caught made me hot as hell. I was still very naked, only wearing panties I’d hastily jerked on. Before I could tell myself no, I kissed him. I’d longed to kiss him like that for years, and I let myself drown in all things Carter. “Touch me, Carter.”

“I-I…”

Grabbing his hands, I placed them on my chilled breasts. “Touch me.”

God, he did. He played with my nipples until I could barely take it. I kissed his jaw and slid his hand down my flat belly to the edge of my lacy panties. “Right there,” I murmured against his neck. He trembled slightly as he parted my lips and he stilled. I guessed he’d never been with a woman. “It’s okay, I’ll show you.”

Gripping his hand firmly, I showed him exactly how I wanted to come. “Carter, yes, God dammit,” I cried, and I came quickly. But I wasn’t done yet. Not by a long shot. We’d already come that far. Kneeling in front of him, I hastily unbuttoned his pants and pulled his stiff member out. Sliding my hand up and down his length, I took him in my mouth and licked circles around his head. His thighs quivered as I took in every inch and sucked him hard. He was close, painfully so, I could feel the vein under his dick throbbing with each stroke. Then he exploded in my mouth and I sucked him dry.

“Shit!”

I couldn’t believe what I’d just done to him behind a church, for Christ’s sakes! Before things got awkward, I tucked him inside his underwear and kissed his cheek. “Thanks. This didn’t happen, right, Carter?”

“Right!” he squeaked.

“Good.” Dressing quickly, I left him standing there, leaned against the back of the church. The whole walk home, I thought about turning around and taking him, really making love to him, not just a rushed blow job. I couldn’t do that to Carter, though. He deserved his first time to be with someone else. Someone better. Not me. Anyone but me.

Chapter Eight

My senior year should’ve been amazing. It wasn’t. It was all over the school that I had been with a drug dealer, and even my best friends shunned me. I thought too many times about just walking away from it all and going somewhere, anywhere, and starting all over. For some reason I stayed. Okay, it was two reasons. First, my Mom. She was miserable and they were no longer trying for a baby. Instead they fought all the time. The second reason was for Carter.

Since that night behind the church, I’d thought a million and one times about making love to him. I wanted him. I wanted to protect him from me. I needed him. I needed to forget him.

Everything culminated on December fourth of our senior year. One little fuck up and our lives changed forever.

That day, I made Carter walk home in the cold alone. Mom needed me to take her in to work. Her car needed new tires, and my tires weren’t too bad yet. Snow had been steadily falling and the roads were slick as could be. I needed new brakes again; I had a bad habit of keeping my foot just on the edge of the brake pedal and I wore them down quickly.

He walked along the sidewalk and I honked the horn. When he glanced up, I flipped him off. He returned the gesture and I laughed hard. My eyes closed for a split second and my hands wavered on the wheel.

The wheels skidded on a patch of ice and Mom screamed. “Brielle, straighten the car out!”

I slammed on the brakes and the car fishtailed. “What do I do?”

“Shit! Shit!” Mom shrieked as we propelled off the edge of the road. She braced herself for the inevitable crash. Everything happened in seconds. The car slammed into the tree and the impact jarred my bones. Glancing over at Mom, my eyes went wide. A large cut stretched across her forehead and blood dripped down onto her shirt.

“Mom?” I whispered, grabbing her shoulder and shaking it firmly.

She didn’t answer me. “Carter!” I screamed.

Within seconds he was there, dialing 911. “There’s been an accident on Broken Neck Lane. You can’t miss it. The car hit the tree. There are two people in the car. I’m here with them.”

“I wasn’t careful,” I wailed.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he tried to soothe me.

“Mom’s not moving, Carter!” I shrieked.

“Hold on, let me go check on her.” He ran around the back side of the car and tried to wrench open Mom’s door. He came back to my side of the car and tried to keep me calm. “Listen, the ambulance is on the way, do you hear the sirens?”

“I wasn’t careful. I wasn’t careful,” I whispered in horror.

“She’s going to be okay,” he promised me.

I shook Mom again in panic. “Carter, she’s not moving!”

“You have to stop trying to move her. Please. Let the paramedics get here.”

“Call your dad,” I begged through my sobs. “Call him, tell him to get here.”

“Okay.”

The next few hours were a blur. Paramedics got Mom out of the car and sirens pierced the air as they drove away. I was next. My door was pried open and I was loaded onto a stretcher. “Miss, are you okay?” one man asked as he rolled me across the pavement to the waiting ambulance.

“No,” I whispered, tears streaming down my face. Turning my head, I spotted Carter. I almost called to him. I needed him. Before I could open my mouth to cry his name, I was inside the ambulance and we were on the way to the hospital.

“Tell us what happened,” a paramedic asked me as they took my pulse and temperature.

“I skidded on the ice and hit the tree. Is my mom okay?”

“Does anything hurt?” the man asked me, ignoring my question.

“No,” I answered. Nothing physically hurt, not badly anyway. I just felt sore all over. My heart however, was shattered into a million pieces.

I was poked and prodded the rest of the ride. Closing my eyes, I figured if I pretended I was asleep, I wouldn’t remember everything. Funny how taking away one sense tends to make everything else so much stronger. I heard every whispered thing about my mother, about me, and about the wreck.

“She wasn’t wearing her seatbelt,” someone murmured, “We’re looking at massive bleeding on the brain.”

“And Brielle?” a woman asked.

“She was buckled in. She will be fine. Only bumps and bruises. She can go home.”

“I’ll get her discharged and I’ll let the father know.”

Opening my eyes, I whispered, “Stepfather.”

The nurse came to the side of the bed and looked down at me pitifully. “Okay sweetie, your stepdad. We’ll let him know you can go home. I don’t know that he will want to leave your mom, do you have anyone you can ride home with?”

“Sure.” I tried to smile even as tears pooled in my eyes. Mom had bleeding on the brain. That couldn’t be good. It was all my fault. Everything was a blur while I was discharged. Charlie came in to see me and he could barely look at me as he signed my discharge papers.

“Carter’s gonna take you home,” he said softly. “I’m staying here with Lisa.”

“Let me know how she is,” I begged.

“I will.” He walked out of my room without saying a word. I could feel his hurt and anger, and I deserved every ounce of it.

My nurse returned all smiles. “Okay, sweetie, let’s get you home. You be careful, okay? Doc says to take over the counter pain meds as needed every four to six hours and to check in with your doctor in a couple days.” She handed me a sheaf of papers and I nodded.

“Thanks.”

Slowly, I walked out of the emergency room and there he was. The man I’d always loved.

“Carter?”

“Hey, are you okay?” he turned to me and gently stroked my cheek.

Nodding, I tried to smile. “Your dad signed the papers so I could go home. Can we go home?”

“Sure. Where’s your coat?” he asked.

“There was blood on it,” I whispered.

“Wear mine.” He shrugged off his old coat and settled it around my shoulders. Smiling up at him, I caught his fingers in mine. I needed something to hold onto, and he seemed to sense that. “Come on.”

“My mom’s in surgery.” I rasped.

“I know.”

“I did that to her. I wasn’t being careful. I was being a bitch to you. Again.”

“It’s not your fault. It’s mine, I should’ve changed the brakes.”

“Don’t be stupid, you had school. I should’ve been driving slower, not singing to the radio, paying attention. Instead, I was laughing because I was making you walk home alone in the snow.”

We stepped outside and he released my hand to jam his hands in his pockets. “Do you want to wait here, I’ll get the car and come around for you?”

“Okay.”

He ran through the parking lot to the car and drove carefully up to the hospital exit where I stood under the awning. Opening the door, I climbed in and shut it behind me. I was so cold, and I couldn’t get warm.

“Seat belt.” He reminded me.

Slowly, I buckled in. Silence filled the car’s interior as he drove home. Half an hour later, he pulled into the driveway and shut off the ignition. “Let’s get inside. Are you hungry? You know I make a mean spaghetti,” he offered.

Shaking my head, I decided to be honest for the first time in forever. “I need you, Carter,” I whispered weakly, swaying on my feet.

“I’m here,” he told me, catching me before I fell.

“You’ve always been here.”

“Come inside and let’s get you warm.” He dragged me through the door.

“Take me to bed, please,” I begged, sagging against his body.

“Okay, you need some rest.” Suddenly, he swept me into his strong arms and carried me upstairs. He used his elbow to flick on my light and he settled me on my bed before kneeling and pulling off my shoes. “Do you need anything?” he asked as he stood.

Tears trickled down my cheeks as I pulled him close. “You. I need you.”

“I’m here, it’s all right.” He kissed the top of my head and squeezed me tight. It wasn’t enough. I needed to crawl inside him and hide.

Pulling him down to me, I nipped his earlobe as I whispered, “Make me forget, just for a little while. Please.”

He shivered and pulled back slightly. “I don’t think we should do this. You’ve had a really bad day and you’re tired.”

Oh Carter, I love you. I love how inherently good you are. But I need you to make me forget. You’re the only one who can.
“Don’t you want me?”

“You
know
I do. But not like this. I don’t want you to regret this.”

“I won’t regret it, Carter. You’re the last person I’ll ever regret having sex with. I need you to help me forget. Just for a little while. You told me you’d always be there for me. Be here for me tonight. Please,” I begged again.

It was true. I’d never regret making love to Carter Travis. I’d dreamed about it for years. Now I would be with him one time, and it would be enough. Just one time to make me forget. I kissed him while he warred with himself, and I felt him submit to me. He wanted me just as badly. His lips were firm but soft and I groaned, fisting my hands in his T-shirt.

When he cupped my face in his hands and slowed my kiss, I almost fell apart. I didn’t want his love. I didn’t want his tenderness. I wanted mindless sex. I needed to forget. Pushing him back on the bed, I climbed on his lap and kissed him again. Our mouths came together fiercely, and it all felt right. I cried while he kissed me, but it wasn’t because I felt bad about what we were about to do. No, I knew nothing involving me and Carter Travis was wrong or bad. It was just everything else.

Leaning back, I peeled off my T-shirt and whispered, “Unhook my bra.” He reached up with trembling fingers to clumsily unhook me. Then he surprised me as my bra fell off. He caught my hips and pulled me closer to suck my nipples. His mouth encircling my nipple was an electric shock straight down to the apex of my thighs.

He wasn’t a particularly skilled lover, but he gave me all he knew, and for the moment, it was enough. It was perfect. We yanked each other’s clothes off until we were naked on my sheets. His body against mine fit like a glove. Sliding my hand down his abs, I found his dick, hard and ready for me. He throbbed in my grasp.

“You have to stop,” he hissed roughly.

My hand stilled and I glanced up at him. “I’m your first, aren’t I?”

His throat worked as he swallowed. Nodding, he whispered, “Yeah.”

“God dammit, I’m not supposed to be.”

“You didn’t make it easy to find a girlfriend,” he reminded me.

“Then I’ll have to make it memorable.” I pulled his face to mine and kissed him tenderly. I couldn’t wreck his first time. No matter how much I needed to forget. I loved him too much. Nibbling his lip, I kissed across his jaw and down his neck before whispering, “I need you.”

“I’m yours.”

His simple statement broke my heart. Rolling him to his back, I straddled him again and rocked against his shaft. “I need you.”

His cheeks pinked and he murmured, “I don’t have condoms.”

Carter, you’re too perfect and I’m going to wreck you. I’m so sorry.
“I’m on birth control.” Reaching between us, I caught his dick and slid the head between my lips. I groaned as I rubbed my clit.

He hissed loudly as he entered me. Moving slowly, I watched his face. His eyes squeezed shut and the veins in his neck bulged out. I’d never seen anything more beautiful in my life as Carter writhing in pleasure beneath me.

“I’m gonna come,” he choked out and I smiled.

“Then come. We’ll do this again. You need this as much as me.” Riding him slowly, I felt him spasm inside me almost immediately. He hadn’t been fibbing, he was close. It was perfect. He was perfect. But perfect was one thing that never lasted long.

“Brielle!” he screamed my name and his fingertips pressed painfully into my hips.

“Carter,” I whispered, kissing his beautiful mouth. “How was that for your first time?”

“So fucking good,” he moaned and I giggled.

“Now you’re going to make me come.”

“Like behind the church?”

“That will work to start with...” Slipping off his lap, I rolled to my back and spread my legs.

He rolled to me and kissed me softly. Taking his hand, I directed him to where I needed him most. He was so inexperienced and I needed release. Breaking our kiss, I grabbed his hand and showed him my clit. “Rub my clit, it feels good.”

He did. Carter Travis was nothing if not a fast learner. Pressure built low in my abdomen and he worked my pussy like a pro. I was so close to the edge. “Don’t stop,” I begged. He didn’t. “Carter!” I moaned, grabbing the sheets and arching up off the bed.

The next thing I knew he was between my legs again and he entered me in one stroke. That time didn’t last long either, but I didn’t care. We made love to each other for hours that night. It was simple. It was easy, and it was right. For that short period of time, I forgot about everything except Carter.

Sometime later, we lay curled up together. “Carter?” I mumbled sleepily, and he glanced over at me, opening one eye slightly.

“Yeah?”