Good Woman Blues (3 page)

“Break out the microwave popcorn and cartoon
puppies.”

“Huh?” Darlene leaned forward like a woman
with a hearing problem.

“Might as well settle in cause it looks like
I’m here for the duration,” Erikka said.

Chapter 2

The next day Erikka went to visit her
grandmother, and Roz decided to come by. Darlene knew she’d come to
pump her for information about Erikka. Darlene could see why Erikka
did not want to live with her mother even temporarily.

“Quit asking stupid questions, Roz.” Darlene
pushed her sister aside and poured herself more iced tea from a
carafe. “It’s not like she’s been talking to herself or drooling.
No more than the rest of our crazy family at least. Course she did
strip naked and eat a plateful of daisies while dancing in the
front yard. Does that count?”

“Great. Wonderful. I’m worried sick about my
child, and you turn on Comedy Central.” Roz tossed her handbag on
the kitchen counter.

Darlene settled on the wooden stool at her
breakfast bar and watched her older sister pace. Here comes the
drama, she mused. Darlene sipped from the glass and waited for the
rest of Act One. As usual, Roz didn’t disappoint.

“My God. Erikka had everything going for her.
Why would she be depressed? I don’t believe it anyway. Those
doctors just want to drain her insurance and stuff their
pockets.”

“Not that she didn’t swallow a bunch of
pills, drink wine, and total her car,” Darlene put in, before Roz
could go on.

“She took something to go to sleep and had
some wine. She was stressed out, and she didn’t know what she was
doing.” Roz frowned at Darlene as though daring her to argue.

Darlene frowned back at her. “Accident or
not, what she did is a big red flag, Roz.”

“Has she told you something different? Don’t
keep anything from me. I’m her mother, for God’s sake.” Roz’s voice
went higher with every word.

Darlene shook her head. “Lower your voice. My
ears are ringing.”

“What really happened then? She talks to you.
Always has.”

Roz’s expression was accusatory. For years
they’d played tug-of-war over Erikka’s affection. Darlene mentally
brushed aside the veiled invitation for an argument on the subject.
Still, with two boys of her own she couldn’t deny Erikka was her
substitute daughter. Malik and Brandon were still in the turbulent
terrible teens at fifteen and nineteen. Not to mention Brandon had
just pissed her off royally by announcing she was a grandmother.
He’d gotten some woman in a nearby town pregnant and somehow kept
it from her. For a damn good reason. Brandon knew what her reaction
would be. Who the hell asked him for that? Her sister’s impatient
foot- tapping on the vinyl floor broke into her own offspring
angst.

“Well?” Roz demanded.

“Erikka won’t go into detail, but I know
she’s worried about a lot of things. The way you and Craig are
tripping, for one. It’s a wonder Jaci isn’t on some therapist’s
couch, too.”

“Jaci is doing just fine. She’s only a few
hours from her master’s at—” Roz started to go on to list her
youngest daughter’s accomplishments.

“That’s all well and good, but we’re talking
about Erikka,” Darlene cut her off.

“You brought Jaci into this discussion,” Roz
snapped.

“You wanna hear about Erikka or not?” Darlene
said calmly.

“First explain what you meant with the remark
about Craig and me.” Roz crossed her arms and went into her
defensive posture.

“Forget it. None of my business anyway.”
Darlene had no time to deal with the Queen of Denial.

“The word divorce hasn’t even come up,” Roz
announced with force. “No matter how much my evil mother-in-law
bums black candles on us. After twenty- one years you’d think the
old she-devil would give up.”

“I didn’t say anything about—”

“That’s exactly what was on your mind.” Roz’s
foot went crazy as her whole right leg bounced. Perched on one of
Darlene’s breakfast table chairs, she twisted her thirty-inch gold
necklace with one hand.

“All I’m saying is Erikka is crazy about her
stepfather. Even adult kids are affected by di—” Darlene broke off
the word when Roz huffed angrily. “I mean, tension between
parents.”

“We’ll work through it. We always have.” Roz
stared hard at Darlene as a warning she’d best agree.

Darlene obeyed. “True.”

She didn’t want to hurt Roz with straight-up
reality, not just yet. Roz was genuinely scared and puzzled about
Erikka. Still, Darlene wondered how long it would last. There could
only be so many times a marriage could bounce back. She could
testify on that score.

Roz’s expression relaxed. “Damn. It’s strange
having grown children. Can you believe Erikka is going to be thirty
in a few months?”

“I can still remember the day you dropped
that bomb on Mama and Daddy.” Darlene laughed, and Roz joined
her.

“Sure wasn’t funny then. Seventeen, head
cheerleader, and had one foot out the door to Spelman College.”

“And pregnant,” Darlene tossed in.

“Mama cussed in English and Creole French.
I’d never heard those kind of words come from that little woman.”
Roz shook her head. “Daddy was so mad he couldn’t speak.”

“He might have been talking, but nobody could
hear him with Mama screaming,” Darlene said.

“A nightmare.”

‘Tell me about it. Daddy practically locked
me up for the next three years,” Darlene replied.

“Their strictness probably kept you from
making the same mistake. I was dumb enough to believe I was Troy’s
one true love. What an idiot.”

“Sure. I didn’t act a fool over a man until I
was grown.”

Darlene grimaced at the memory of life with
Brandon’s father. She’d quickly followed that doomed two- year
marriage by enjoying the single life. Malik’s father had swept her
off her feet and right into the maternity ward of Lourdes Hospital.
Both women were quiet for a few minutes, reviewing past
mistakes.

“Speaking of Troy, maybe he could help.”
Darlene looked at her sister.

“He tried in his own weak-ass way to be a
father in the last few years. But Erikka thinks of Craig as her
daddy in the real sense.”

“Yeah, they’ve always been close.” Darlene
got up and went to the sink. She rinsed out their glasses and
washed a few dishes.

“Erikka won’t listen to me.” Roz sighed and
let her head tilt back. “I’ve tried so hard to understand her. I
re-ally have.”

Darlene decided she was not going to touch
that one. “She’s been pushing herself too hard since she was a kid.
I guess it just finally caught up with her. I’ll bet there’s some
guy in the mix.”

Rosalinde’s head snapped back. “Erikka has
sense when it comes to men. I taught both my girls that happiness
doesn’t depend on having a man.”

“Maybe so, but she’s still human. Erikka is
turning thirty, she’s single, and has no kids. Maybe what she wants
is a family.” Darlene shrugged at Roz’s grunt of skepticism.

“Not Erikka. I do know that much. She’s
ambitious, smart, and enjoys her life,” Rosalinde said.

Darlene turned around as she dried her hands
on a yellow dish towel. “At least you thought so.”

***

Therapeutic recreation, Erikka mused as she
dutifully browsed through the crafts booths at the country flea
market. She had wondered when her family would start creating ways
to keep her busy and, sure enough, her cousin Monique had picked
her up for an outing. People milled around, some eating nachos with
melted cheese sold at one of the food vendors. The smell of french
fries and sausage wafted overhead in gusts as two large fans blew.
Everyone seemed friendly and happy to be out on a sunny
Saturday.

Erikka tried not to hate them all. Laughter
jangled on her nerves. Smiles hurt her eyes like glaring lights.
Their joy just made her feel like a freak. She’d known it would be
this way, which is why she’d avoided going out for days. At least
they had loads of junk to gawk at instead of her.

Darlene had practically pushed her out the
door when Monique showed up. Maybe she was sick of babysitting.
Erikka needed to get back to her own day-to-day groove. If she
could get up energy to do more than sit on Darlene’s porch watching
clouds drift by, that is. She picked up one more cheesy piece of
bric-a-brac without thinking. The jumble around her reminded Erikka
of how she felt; stuff just seemed to pile up inside her head.

“That’s kinda cute.” Another shopper nodded
at Erikka with a smile, then moved on.

“Huh?”

Erikka glanced down at what she was holding.
A fat ceramic frog grinned at her. Dark green spots were painted
all over its grass green body. She held it out and looked for cute
somewhere on the thing. If cute was there, she sure as hell
couldn’t see it.

Monique glanced at the figurine. “Maybe in a
so-ugly- it’s-cute sorta way. On second thought, no.”

“Grandmaman Lillie collects elephants,”
Erikka said. She turned the frog over in her hands, examining it
from all angles. “Maybe I should start collecting something as a
hobby.”

“You wanna start with that?” Monique
pointed.

The longer she held him, the longer he felt
like hers. “Why not?” Erikka found a price sticker on the bottom.
“Fred is worth three dollars.”

“Fred,” Monique repeated.

“He reminds me of my high school biology
teacher. Mr. Fred Franklin had eyes and no neck just like this. We
called him Fred Frog behind his back.”

Monique laughed. “Poor guy.”

“Looks aren’t everything. He cared about his
students, volunteered time to help kids struggling with their
grades.” Erikka continued to warm up to Fred as she gazed at
him.

“Then Fred must have been waiting right here
for you. Amazing some smart shopper didn’t snatch up this prize,”
Monique joked.

“Listen, honey. I watch that antique show on
public TV. You could be holding a hidden treasure,” the older lady
still standing nearby said with an eager nod. She was dressed in
jeans and a pink T-shirt with the word GRITS embroidered on it.

“Yes, ma’am,” Erikka answered.

“Let me show you. Ya gotta look for the
markings.” Erikka made it a point not to look at her cousin while
the woman rattled on for ten minutes. In no time Erikka knew her
name, that she had three children and six grandchildren. Monique
rolled her eyes when the woman finally ran out of steam and
left.

“All that fuss to find MADE IN TAIWAN on some
worthless doodad,” Monique said, with a giggle.

“Excuse me, but Fred was not made in Taiwan,”
Erikka answered as she held on to the frog. “He was made in
China.”

“S’cuse me, Fred.”

When she realized another shopper was staring
at her face, the trip and the jokes turned sour. Erikka turned
away. Suddenly she wanted out of there, out of life, and to be away
from the world. Something in her expression must have shown the
change.

Monique’s smile faded. “Hey, you okay?”

Erikka put Fred down and looked for the
easiest path toward an exit. Her chest felt tight. She gasped when
a man bumped into her. His apology only made her more anxious.
Backing away, she nearly fell over a table of dark blue glassware.
Two small bottles and a candy dish wobbled, and then fell. Monique
caught the candy dish. The bottles couldn’t be rescued. One broke
while the other one bounced and rolled beneath an antique table.
Erikka could feel everyone looking at her. She stared at the floor,
pushing hard against the tight gloom wrapping itself around her
heart.

“Gotta charge ya.”

A plump light brown woman with hair dyed
fiery red pointed to a sign that said broken items had to be
bought. She lifted her chin to gaze steadily at Erikka through her
no-line bifocals. Erikka shook her head. Tears formed in the comers
of her eyes.

“No problem,” Monique spoke up quickly,
pulling a wallet from her purse. “How much do we owe you?”

While Monique followed the woman, Erikka
retreated to a comer. She tried to disappear between two tall
armoires aged by decades of dirt. They gave her the illusion of
escape if only for a few moments. Still, she dreaded the long walk
out of the flea market. Erikka tried to remember even one
relaxation technique. That damn social worker thought she knew so
much. What about the horrible flea market panic attack? Miss
I-got-my-shit-together hadn’t covered this situation.

“You okay, miss?”

“Good. Just fine.”

Erikka flattened against the rough wood
surface and faced a tall stranger. She managed what she hoped was a
smile. Her mouth felt pulled too tight at the comers. The effort
must have failed. His brown eyes reflected concern.

Fine creases in his toasted almond skin
fanned out from them as he frowned.

“If you’re worried about those little old
bottles—”

“I’ve got money,” Erikka said, as though he
were a mugger, and then turned away from his examination.

“Your cousin paid already. Aunt Therese is
busy trying to sell her more stuff. I’m Gabriel.”

She focused on the pattern of blue lines in
his short- sleeved shirt. “Right. Thanks. I’ve got to find her, my
cousin I mean.” Erikka started around him.

Gabriel gave her a gentle smile as though she
were a lost, frightened child. “I’ll take you to her. Way we got
things set up, it’s sorta like a maze in here.” He led the way
through a path of tables and chairs.

Two turns later they were in a comer of the
large booth. Monique laughed at whatever Gabriel’s aunt Therese was
saying.

“Girl, you can’t be too careful. Got this
stick in case those little delinquents show up again.” Aunt Therese
broke off when she saw them.

“I found her for you,” Gabriel said to
Monique.

“Well, you got your wind back?” Aunt Therese
said, looking right into Erikka with keen hazel eyes.