Gorilla Beach (10 page)

Gia reached into the collection basket, counting the twenties into a neat pile, held it over her head, and waved the stack. “Seven hundred bucks, bitches!” she sang.

Bella's jaw dropped. Seven hundred? That was enough to keep their summer vakay rolling. Plus, they'd played the game, which had earned them the seal of approval from Mama Lupo. Cool jobs, like pole dancing at Bamboo, coming right up.

Maria, meanwhile, looked as if she'd just tongued a cactus. You'd think she'd be happy for them. Bella rushed to give Gia a hug. Together, they celebrated the win, dancing to music only they, dolphins, leopards, and the saints could hear.

“I
love
this game!” Gia told Father Guido. “Can we play again? Like every freakin' week?” She kissed him, leaving a pink lipstick mark on his clerical collar. “We've had nothing but bad luck since we got to Seaside. I prayed for our luck to change. God
does
hear my prayers, even if they're slurred from vodka.”

Gia released him, and he reeled backward into the table behind him. The metal cage fell on the floor, and balls scurried across the floor like albino cockroaches.

One of the old ladies screamed as if they really were bugs.

“We really should wrap you in yellow plastic police tape,” said Bella, shaking her head.

Cara Lupo's mom yelled, “Stupid idiots!”

Ruby said, “That leopard has rabies!”

Mama Lupo was flapping her black shrouds like a zombie bat.

But Bella and Gia barely noticed. They skipped out of there on a green cloud, singing—“and Bimbo was her name-O”—with relief and happiness.

They were saved! It could only happen in church.

“To Hell's Bells Rizzoli,”
said Gia, raising her cocktail. “The hottest bitch in the whole freakin' world.”

Five juicehead gorillas clinked their beer bottles to Gia's glass and chugged. It was a slow night at Inca. But it was early yet, only nine o'clock on a Thursday. The place would fill up soon enough. Meanwhile, she had $700 in her pocket, money she'd
won
. She'd never won anything before. Not even a stuffed Rasta Banana on the boardwalk.

“Next round's on me,” said Gia, slapping a few twenties on the bar. “God wants us to party.”

“Save some of it,” protested Bella. Then she rethought it. “Oh, what the hell. We should celebrate.”

The bartender brought Buds for the boys, refreshed Gia's vodka, and poured Bella another shot of tequila.

One of the gorillas put his hand on Gia's exposed thigh (her short shorts could pass for a thong). He squeezed as high as he could get without giving her a free pelvic exam and said, “Let's get out of here.”

“What's your name again?” She knew he'd told her already, but she forgot. A few letters splashed across her vodka-flooded brainpan. “Kevin? Keith? Kelvin?”

“Try Gary,” he said, smirking.

Was he making fun of her? Another jerkoff who thought she was stupid because she had short-term memory lapses? “Get your hand off me. I'm not interested.” The kid took his beer and walked away. Gia called after him, “You can say ‘thanks' for the beer,
Gary
.” To Bella, Gia said, “Every guy who likes me is a complete scumbag.”

Bella did her shot. “They do seem to flock in your direction. I still can't get over Frankie. He really seemed like a decent guy.”

“I'm starting to think I can't trust anyone. The douche bags from my past are giving me a complex. It's like I'm carrying around the distrust with me.”

“A six-piece set of emotional baggage.”

“Emotional
douche
baggage,” corrected Gia.

A man's voice from behind them weighed in, “That's a pretty good line.”

The girls spun around on their bar stools. “You again?” Gia said to Captain Morgan. “Who do I call to report a stalker? You?”

Captain Morgan nodded at Bella. “Ms. Rizzoli, evening.”

“Right back atcha.”

“There's an all points bulletin out on you girls.”

“For being too pretty?” asked Gia.

“You stole from a church,” he said.

“
What?!
No way. I won that money!” said Gia. “There's a roomful of witnesses, including a freakin' priest!”

“The priest corroborated Mrs. Lupo's account,” said the cop. “You're from out of town, so let me explain how this particular bingo game works. It's rigged. You're supposed to pretend to play until Mrs. Lupo wins. Then she donates all the cash to the church. That's the way it's been played for twenty years. No one else
ever
wins. The game is a just a pretense for giving money to the church.”

“So I was supposed to throw a bingo game?” asked Gia.

“The church depends on that cash. And Mrs. Lupo likes to win,
even knowing that it's rigged. Losing on purpose is how the other players pay their respect to her and her family.”

“How were we supposed to know that?” asked Gia. “No one told us.”

“Maria kept trying to explain the rules, but the game started before she got the chance.” Checking her phone, Bella groaned. She held it up so Gia could see the dozen messages from Maria. Bella played the last one on speaker—Maria's panicked voice: “Fuckfuckfuckfuck …”

Officer Morgan said, “That about sums it up.”

“Are we in deep shit?” asked Bella.

“When
aren't
you?” He sighed. “If you return the cash to Our Lady tonight and apologize to Father Guido, I'm sure he'll drop the charges.”

Gia felt like crying. Even when she won, she lost. “What would happen if we kept it? You can't arrest us for being ignorant of some secret Seaside tradition. To hell with them.”

“You did not just say ‘to hell' with the church,” said Captain Morgan.

Bella asked, “Can we keep
any
of it?”

“Where's the money?” he asked. Gia pulled out the stack. “Is that all of it?”

“Minus eighty bucks,” said Gia.

He groaned. “You'll have to write a check to make up the difference.”

“I don't have a checking account,” said Gia.

“Mine's empty,” said Bella.

“For Christ's sake! How do you girls
live
?” Captain Morgan tugged on his mustache. “I'll cover the eighty bucks. But you owe me. Big-time.”

“Make it a hundred,” said Gia. She peeled off a twenty and gave it to the bartender. “I'm a big tipper. I have a reputation to uphold.”

“That's my twenty! And I tip for shit!” complained the cop.

“That is true,” muttered the bartender.

“Watch it, Harry!” said the cop.

Gia slid off her stool. She pulled her shorts down as far as they'd go (not far). Two guys at the bar spilled their beers. Bella got up, too, and arranged her dress's halter top, having to shake her boobs into the right position. Four guys fell off their stools.

Captain Morgan said, “Did you two dress like … like
that
to play bingo in church with Mrs. Lupo?”

“What? Too prissy?” asked Bella.

“I'm surprised they let you in the door,” he said. “And now I've gotta take you back there? Lawd have mercy.”

“It's your landlord. Open
up!”

“Stanley?” Bella had only just rolled out of bed. The sound of his banging on the door woke her. She let him in. “What're you doing here?”

Stanley Crumbi rushed into the apartment, quickly closed the door behind him, and plastered his body against it as if he were being chased. “Who's here? Just you and Gia?”

“We don't bring guys home
every
night. Just Saturday through Tuesday.”

He didn't laugh. He was too busy scanning the living room/kitchen, then darting around to peek into the bathroom, Bella's bedroom, then Gia's. When he was satisfied they were indeed alone, he said, “Here,” and thrust an envelope into Bella's hand.

“You got it backwards,” said Gia, rubbing her eyes, shuffling out of her bedroom in a leopard-print robe and her trademark pink slippers. “You're the groom. We're supposed to give
you
a gift.”

Bella opened the envelope. “It's four hundred dollars.”

“Your rent,” he said. “I'm giving it back to you. Minus the week you stayed here. And a few expenses, water, heating …”

“
Heating?
It's a brick oven in here,” complained Gia.

“Also, there are two coupons for a free pizza at Three Brothers and a half-off ticket for the water park.”

“You, Stanley Crumbi, are giving money
away
? What's wrong with this picture?” asked Bella.

Stanley ran a hand over his comb-over. He seemed manic, more so than usual. “You know I got a fondness for you girls.”

“Oh, crap,” said Gia, plopping down on the couch. “This can't be good.”

“I really appreciate you getting me and Maria back together, even though you burned my house down. Maria is crazy for you, too. From the bottom of my heart, with all the love and respect in the world, get the hell out of Seaside and don't come back.” Gia and Bella laughed. “I'm friggin' serious! You two have to leave town by noon
today
. Start packing.”

“This is about that stupid game?” asked Gia. “We gave the money back! I personally handed it to that priest. He blessed me and said he'd pray for my soul.”

“Wouldn't take your confession, though,” said Bella.

“He didn't have all night,” said Gia.

“Don't take it personally,” Stanley said. “The Lupos are extremely sensitive people. Look at them funny, it's like you shat on their ancestors' graves. I'd say, ‘Screw the Lupos,' but right now, I'm in the middle of some things with Luigi. Things I can't get out of. I stuck my neck out for you about the fight at the wedding. Maria vouched for you with Donna. But Mama Lupo makes the final cut—and I don't want it to be your throats.”

Both girls reached for their necks and gulped. “Let me get this straight,” said Gia. “You didn't come by to take us out to breakfast?”

“No.”

“You're not here to move us into a cozy bungalow on the beach?”

“Hell, no.”

“You're delivering the warning to leave town, with no car, and hardly any money,” Gia said.

“You can thank me later.”

Bella said, “This is bullshit.”

“I know Seaside looks like paradise—”

“Meh,” said Gia.

“—but there's a greasy underbelly most people don't know about. You girls are rolling around in it. I'm doing you a huge favor.” He checked his phone. “I gotta go. Just leave the keys on the counter. I'm sorry. Maria's sorry. But we'll all be a lot sorrier if you stay.” On that scary note, he scurried out.

In a way, Bella felt relieved. Her emotions about coming to the Shore were mixed to begin with. Even though her mom practically threw her out of Brooklyn, Bella felt guilty about leaving her.

Gia, however, didn't mix emotions like cocktails. “That's it? I look forward to our trip for months, and it's over before it even got started? I haven't smushed a hot guido yet!”

“I'll call a cab to take us to the bus station,” said Bella. “The ride back to Brooklyn is only an hour and change.”

“No way. We have some money. Let's go to Point Pleasant or Belmar.”

“Can't you read the signs? We've been cursed since we got here. Destiny is screaming at us to pack it in and go home.”

“I don't believe that.”

“Name one thing that has gone right all week.”

“I won at bingo.”

“But the other players were throwing the game.”

“I still won.”

Bella shook her head. “Whatever. We can't stay here.”

“I refuse to go home. What's there for me? My job at the movie theater? I love Vin Diesel to death, but
Fast Five
lost its appeal after the hundredth time.” Gia folded her arms across her chest and dug herself into the couch. “You'll have to drag me back to the city.”

“You're being impossible.”

“And?”

They faced off. Neither spoke. Tension grew. A car horn blasted from the street and made them both start. Someone called their names.

Bella ducked behind the “kitchen” “counter.” “They've come for us already!”

“I recognize that voice.” Gia got up and leaned out the window. Waving, she said, “It's Fredo! Whoa, he's driving a slick white Caddie convertible.”

“Are you freakin' crazy? He's one of them.”

Gia yelled, “Come on up.”

“You're inviting the wolf into the henhouse.”

“First of all, we're not hens. We're chicks. And, second, Fredo's totally harmless. He's a wolf puppy.”

The puppy was now at their door, probably holding a blunt object. Gia welcomed him inside. Bella had to admit, with the purple bruise on his chin and his skinny neck, the kid didn't give an impression of dangerousness. Bella's arms were bigger than his.

What was she afraid of? She had skills. She'd been tested. If Fredo came at her, she'd swat him down.

“I came by to say how sorry I am,” he said. To Bella: “Why are you looking at me like that?”

The kid cowered. She hadn't realized she was in ready position. Relaxing her stance, she said, “Tell your family we're going.”

“I swear to God, I told my parents that Cara started the whole thing. But when she's around them, she's totally different. It's not fair that they believe her over me. I'm furious at them.”

Gia said, “Don't you get in trouble, too! You're the vic.”