Grace Lost (The Grace Series) (34 page)

I heard water running upstairs,
and figured someone was showering.  I used my teeth to open the foil pouch
and nibbled on one of the two Pop Tarts inside.  My stomach rolled in
protest so I stopped halfway through and set it back down.  I leaned back
into the couch and wrapped the afghan tightly around myself.  I closed my
eyes and tried to think about nothing.  Several minutes passed before I
heard the stairs creaking.  I turned to look and saw Gus, wrapped in a
towel from the waist down, descending from the second story. 

“Hey Zoe,” he said in a flat
tone.  He sounded emotionally exhausted.

“Hey,” I said back without lifting
my head.

“Sorry if I upset you earlier,” he
said.  “It was a little tough for me.”

“I understand,” I said quietly.

“Mind if I join you?” he asked,
motioning to the seat beside me.

“Nope, go ahead,” I answered.

He sat beside me, careful to make
sure his towel kept him covered.

“Can I finish your Pop Tart?” he
asked.

I nodded. 

He picked up the faux pastry and
took a large bite.   “Pretty bad stuff,” he admitted.

“Where’s Em?” I asked quietly.

“Asleep.  This has all hit
her pretty hard. 
Boggs?”

“Same,” was all I said.

“Susan?” he asked.

“She’s really upset.  I had
her get in our bed.”

Gus nodded.  “Thanks for
taking care of her.”

“She probably feels like she just
lost her whole family,” I said quietly.  “Wanda, Julio, Louisa.  I
know how it feels.”

Gus sighed.  “I had forgotten
about your folks and your sister,” he said.  “This must be really hard on
you too, Zoe.”

I nodded.  “I’m glad though,
in a way.”

He looked at me sideways, pausing
in chewing.

“I just mean glad that my family
doesn’t have to go through this hell.”

He nodded.  “I think that’s
probably a normal thought to have.”

“I think the baby might have been
tough on Susan too.”

“Fucking tough on
all
of
us,” mumbled Gus.

“She had an abortion not long
ago,” I said.  “I’m guessing it’s reminding her of that.  I know she
chose to do it, but it still had to be hard.”

“I didn’t know,” he said.

“Boggs told me.  The day this
all started.  He was pretty crushed about it.”

Gus choked slightly.  “It was
Boggs’
baby?”

I nodded.

“Shit, I didn’t realize he and
Susan had been that close.”

I sighed.  “From what he told
me they weren’t.  They got drunk.  She told him about the pregnancy
after she had aborted the baby.”

“You must really hate her being
here,” he said.

“It is what it is, I guess. 
Can you open the olives for me?”

Gus just stared at me for a moment
before he reached for the jar on the table.  He twisted the lid and I
heard the seal break.  I reached for the jar and slumped back into the
couch again.  I popped one into my mouth while Gus wiped his hand on his
towel. 

“So much better than the Pop
Tarts,” I said.

Gus wrinkled his nose at me. 
“I’ve always hated the green ones.”

“I think she might be ok. 
Susan I mean.  I saw how she was with Louisa.  Maybe she just puts up
a tough front?”

“Maybe,” he said softly. 
“You gonna eat the other Pop Tart?”

I shook my head no.

Gus reached for the other pastry
and I took a sip of olive juice.

“Nasty, Zoe.”

“What?” I asked.

“Don’t drink the juice. You’ll get
sick.”  He took the jar away from me.  “We should get some sleep.”

“No room in our bed,” I mumbled.

“She’s in bed with him?” Gus
asked, sounding shocked.

“She’s in bed. He’s on top of the
bed.”

“I’ll go wake Susan and have her
climb in bed with Emilie,” he said.

“No, let them sleep.”

“You sure?” he asked.

I nodded. 
“Ya.
 
Emilie too.
  I’ll be ok down here on the couch.”

“I’ll stay with you,” he
said.  “I need a joint, Zoe.” 

He stood and walked to the
kitchen.  I silently admired the muscles of his back.  When he came
back he had one of the shoeboxes that had been with us for so many days. 
He took out a thin paper that was nestled in the bottom and rolled weed into
it.

“Do you mind?” he asked.

I shook my head no.  “Go
ahead.”

He lit the end of the joint and
took a drag.  It smelled horrible.  I watched as he exhaled slowly
and saw his body relax.  He held it out to me.  I considered for a
moment before taking it in my hand.

I took a drag myself.  I held
the smoke in my lungs until I began to cough.  It wasn’t as bad this time
as it had been back at the little stone shack.  The room seemed to slow,
if a room
can
slow.  I took a second drag, wanting to numb
myself.  Gus took the joint from my hand and smoked more himself.  I
felt relaxed, and hungry.  Before long Gus and I were both snacking on the
green olives.  I watched lazily as he took a sip of the juice as I had
done earlier.  He made a sour face and set it back down.

“Nasty,” he whispered.

I was feeling sleepy and
yawned.  Gus held an arm out to me and I leaned against him.  He held
me with his free arm.  “Sleep, Zoe,” he whispered.

I felt safe beside him.  His
warmth enveloped me as I fell asleep.

The sounds of the others woke
me.  Gus was still sitting beside me, asleep.  The fireplace was
still lit and I saw traces of daylight from the staircase.  I sat up,
groggy.  Emilie was standing in front of us, about to cover us with a
blanket from the other loveseat. 

“Hey,” she said softly.

“Hey,” I said back.  “Where’s
Boggs?”

“He’s in the kitchen with Susan,”
she whispered.  “We’re just about to make breakfast, but if you want to
sleep more I can save you some.”

I shook my head no.  “I’ll come
and help.”

“Looks like you guys had quite a
night down here,” she said.  “I trust Gus was a gentleman?”

“Of course,” I smiled.  I was
glad Em wasn’t the jealous type.  She easily could have assumed Gus and I
had done something inappropriate.

I undraped Gus’ arm from my
shoulder and stood as quietly as I could.  I set my afghan over him, and
Em laid the other blanket she had on top.  I walked with her to the
kitchen.

“Morning, Zo,” said Boggs with a
soft smile. 
“Missed you last night.”
  I
smiled at him gently as he walked to me and kissed my forehead.  “You
smell like pot,” he whispered into my ear. 

“Morning,” said Susan.

“Sleep well?” I asked.

“Not really,” she said. 
“It’s just hard with everything that’s happened.”

“Ya,” I said.  “It sure
is.”                                                                                  

“Coffee should be ready,” said
Emilie.  “Who all wants some?”

“Me,” said Susan.  “Please.”

“Boggs?” asked Em.

He nodded.

“Zo?”
Emilie asked me.

I shook my head no.  “My
stomach doesn’t feel so hot.”

“Probably from the olive juice,”
said Gus groggily as he joined us, still wrapped in his towel from the night
before.

“Morning, handsome,” said Emile
with a genuine smile.

He walked to her and hugged her
like he never wanted to let go.  I wondered if Julio was embracing Louisa
and their tiny baby right now.  I hoped so.  I hoped there really was
an afterlife awaiting us.  Gus finally let Emilie go and kissed her cheek.

“Can I have a cup too?” he asked
her as he took the mug from her hand and sipped.

She nodded.  “Sure.” 

As Emilie helped herself to a new
cup of coffee, Boggs cleared his throat to speak.

“We need to bury them,” he
said.  We all knew he meant mother and child.

“Do you think we can go back to
get Julio?” asked Susan.

Gus shook his head while he
swallowed a mouthful of his hot coffee.

Boggs spoke up.  “There’s a
lot we need to talk about.  We had to approach the cabin on foot from the
other side of the lake.”

“Why?” asked Emilie. 
“Where’s the Explorer?”

“It’s parked at the end of a road
on the other side of the lake,” answered Gus.  “The highway that accesses
the cabin’s driveway is a death trap.  We got to a bed and breakfast, but
barely.  The dead fuckers are out there attacking travelers as they pass
by.”

“It’s what happened at the big
wreck we all stopped at just before the general store,” I added.  “We came
across a minivan.  It was horrible.”  I cringed, remembering the
massive amounts of blood inside the vehicle.

Boggs sat at the kitchen table
with his coffee.  I walked over and sat on his lap.

“They’re ambushing by using humans
as bait,” said Boggs. 
“And trying to make some of their
own look like us.”

“We had to hunker down for the
night, that’s why it took us so long to get back,” said the cowboy.  
“They left one waiting for us to slip up, hoping to find us.  We had to
wait for it to leave.”

“Shit,” said Susan.

“I killed one of them while we
were there,” I said in a lowered voice.  “There were two humans too, who
died.”  My eyes were starting to water at the memories. 

“Who?” asked
Emilie.
 

Gus spoke for me, to my
relief.  “It’s probably best we not talk about it right now,” he
said. 
“Later, Em, ok?”

She nodded.

“Let’s just say Julio won’t still
be there,” I whispered. 

“For the sake of not attracting
their attention, we should bury Louisa and the baby
instead
 of
cremating them,” advised Gus.

“Can we bury her with the baby in
her arms?” I asked, my tears falling once again.

Boggs wrapped his arms around me
protectively and held me to him.  “Of course we can, Zo.  Of course
we can.”

“We should all try to eat
something,” said Gus.

“I’m not hungry,” I said.

“We all have to take care of
ourselves, Zoe,” said Emilie.

“Later, ok?” I said gently.

She nodded and Boggs kissed the
top of my head.

“Why don’t you girls head up to
one of the bedrooms while Gus and I carry Louisa down,” suggested Gus. 
“We’ll take her out with us and let you all know when we’re ready to say
goodbye.”

“No,” I said.  “Let us clean
them up first?”

“Zo, sweetheart, you don’t need to
see either of them looking like they do.  Please trust me?” Boggs looked
at me with pleading eyes.

I nodded in acceptance.  “Can
you at least wrap the baby in something, and put him in Louisa’s arms?”

“Sure, Zoe.
  Of course,” Boggs replied lovingly.  “Do you
want to find something for wrapping the baby?”

“Ya,” I said as I stood.  “I
know just what to use.”  I ran upstairs into the bathroom and opened the
linen closet next to the bathtub.  I recalled seeing a sheer white pillow
case inside at some point.  I found it quickly and unfolded it.  The
open end was trimmed in lace.  The baby was so small I knew it would be
plenty big enough to swaddle him in.

I walked with the cloth back to
the hall.  I stopped, looking at the door to Louisa’s room.  I
decided I owed her and the baby one last favor, so ignored Boggs’ request and
walked quietly to within reach of the doorknob.  I placed my hand on it,
took a deep breath, and turned the knob.  The sickly sweet smell hit
me.  I opened my mouth to divert my breathing away from my nose, and
closed the door behind me after I entered the room.  The candles had been
blown out and the only light in the room came from the edges of the
window.  I opened the curtains wide and the room was filled with natural
light.  The bed was still covered in blood and Louisa’s form was hidden
under a sheet.  I crept to her side.  I was afraid of what I would
see when I lowered the cloth.

I gripped the pillow case in the
crook of one arm and used my other hand to pull the sheet back.  I hadn’t
been prepared for what I saw.  Louisa laid there, an unnatural shade of
gray.  Faint green lines streaked her cheeks and neck.  “My hip,” I
whispered.  “Oh Louisa,” I said under my breath.  “I’m so sorry,
sweet Louisa.”  Her forehead was marked by a dark hole where Gus had shot
her.  I dared to reach out and touch her hair.  It was so soft, like
silk.  I smoothed it around her face, arranging it on her shoulders. 
I brought my hand to my mouth and covered it, not sure what else to do. 
Once I was able to compose myself enough, I pulled the sheet down past her
chest.  Her hands still held the tiny baby.