Grasping For Freedom (8 page)

Her heart raced, and she hurried back to the bedroom and grabbed the phone. She had to hurry.

In twenty minutes, the Bantorus meeting would start. She grabbed a pair of jeans, a Tee, and a pair of socks. She skipped the panties and bra to save time.

After she pulled on her boots, she swept her fingers through her hair, eliminating any tangles and leaving it wild. She swept mascara over her eyelashes, and called it good.

Viewing herself in the compact mirror from her purse, she looked like she'd participated in an orgy. She shoved the makeup away. It was her day off. That's all she could do without being late for the meeting.

She left the cabin and walked over to the bar, entering through the backdoor. Rain's door was open. She knocked on the wall before she peeked into view.

Rain looked up from his desk, deadpanned her, and said, "Yeah?"

Oh, shit. She stepped into the room. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

He motioned her to sit down. She closed the door, and then took the chair in front of his desk. Sitting on the edge of the seat, she had no idea where to begin.

"I think there's been a big misunderstanding." She nodded, gaining confidence. "You had told me I was protected after you hired me, and I'd assumed that meant nothing would happen to me while I was in the bar and living in the cabin behind Cactus Cove...from bar fights, robberies, and the occasional drunk who had wandering hands. Of course, I've never been around a motorcycle club and my only association with bikers was serving them drinks at my previous jobs in small groups...and in So Cal, where I worked, it wasn't a biker haven, so the ones who came in were different, not the kind of bikers you have here. I mean, they rode bikes like you guys, but they weren't—" She pointed at Rain's tats, his vest, and his boots he'd planted on the top edge of his desk. "Like you or the other Bantorus members."

God, she was rambling. She moistened her lips when Rain remained silent. "So, this protection thing...I didn't know it included making sure I never, uh, did anything with the guys. Not that I have any plans to jump in with the kind of women in the other cabin out back. I wouldn't do that, at all. Not that I think there's anything wrong with them or what they do or, um, don't do. I'm sure they're very nice and good at their job of being with the men. I'm not judging anyone or the men—"

"Brandy," Rain said, raising his hand.

She sat straighter. "Yes?"

"Can we get to the point?" he asked.

"I had sex with Torque. It's all my fault. I didn't understand I broke a rule or he wasn't supposed to...to do that with me. It was consensual. Really consensual." She clasped her hands together to keep them from shaking. "I don't think he should be punished for something that happened between two adults. I don't know how this works, but if it helps, I'll work overtime or on my day off today to pay his fine, or whatever his punishment will be. I also promise it'll never happen again. Swear on it. Not happening. Ever..."

Rain continued gazing at her, no hint of his thoughts showing in his eyes, though his mouth twitched, which seemed to be a reoccurring habit with him when they talked. Finally, he plunked his boots off the top of the desk and leaned his elbows on the surface. She flinched at the sudden movement followed by the
thunk
.

"I'll explain how it works." His mouth softened. "It's not your responsibility to protect Torque. He knows the rules, sweetheart."

"But he shouldn't get in trouble for something I wanted to happen," she said, losing hope of convincing Rain of anything that pertained to Bantorus rules.

"I don't care if you jumped him naked and manually inserted his dick inside you. A Bantorus never breaks the rules the club sets forth," he said.

"Okay, I get that part, but isn't there anything I can do to make up for my part in what happened?" she asked. "Torque can't take all the blame."

"Brandy..." Rain tightened his lips across his teeth. "Don't throw yourself down in the way of club business for Torque. He won't appreciate it."

"But—"

"Do you know his last name? Do you know anything about his past? Do you know if he's willing to commit himself to a relationship?" he asked softly.

She leaned back against the chair, verbally beaten, and shook her head. It wasn't wrong to share a moment with someone. Her head pounded, because it was more than a moment to her. He'd given her a gift no one had before. "He's not an asshole."

"I know that, sweetheart." Rain stood from his chair and walked around the desk.

She got to her feet and raised her chin. "Don't mention that I came here and asked you to go easy on him."

"Are you threatening me?" Rain's lips did their twitching thing again, and she realized he found amusement in the situation.

"Will you fire me if I say yes?"

He placed his hand on her shoulder. "No."

She shrugged his hand off and walked ahead of him to the door. With her hand on the door handle, she said, "I'd appreciate it if this was kept between you and me. Torque was there for me when I needed him...and he has no clue how much he helped, and I'd like to pay him back by not causing any more trouble for him."

"I'll keep this conversation private between us."

"Thank you." She opened the door and almost walked into Torque with his arm up, ready to knock.

Heat swarmed her neck. She gazed at him, taking in the way he studied her face, and the moment he realized why she'd come to Rain on her day off. His eyes warmed belying the hardness of his shoulders.

That mixed messaged further confused her. She wanted him still. They hadn't had time to explore each other the way she would've liked, and she had no idea his full name. Rain's questions had her overthinking the situation, but he was right. There was a lot she didn't understand, but she wanted to.

She knew Torque would never be happy spending more time with her. That was okay. She was here to do a job. Knowing him better was a bad idea anyway.

"Excuse me," she murmured as she squeezed past him and walked toward the counter in the bar.

She'd hang out, have a drink, and try to find out more for Radiant about the meeting. The best she could do is move on, and do her job.

Taylor switched places with Bruce behind the counter, so Bruce could go to the meeting. Brandy sat on the nearest stool, closest to the hallway, to keep an eye on who came and went to the back room. Failure soured her stomach, and her head began to ache in earnest. She'd wanted to help Torque, yet she feared Radiant wanted information only Torque could provide.

So, how was she going to make an excuse to stick by Torque if nobody would allow them to be together, and Torque wanted nothing to do with her?

God, she didn't want to be the one who handed Torque over to Los Li. He'd hate her more if he found out Los Li sent her here to do a job. Though he'd shown her consideration, attention, and at the end, he'd soften his reasons for walking away from her, she could tell he wasn't a man to mess with.

R
ain motioned for Raul to shut the door to the room. Torque ignored everyone and took the second seat from his president's left beside Slade. He wanted to ask why Brandy was inside the office with Rain when he'd arrived, but the gavel hit the table, calling the start of the meeting.

The surprise on her face shocked him more than seeing her on her day off. Then her cheeks had turned pink and she'd looked away from him. He rubbed his thumb against his jean-covered thigh. It wasn't so much the awkwardness of the situation, but the knowledge that she couldn't face him.

She had an explosive personality that allowed her to go up against anything or anyone, especially him. Even last night before he'd left, she bravely faced him without speaking of regrets. While she worked, she kept all the men in line, while joining in the good-natured teasing and flirting.

If he was the cause of her lack of attitude and spirit, he wanted to make it right. If it were Rain who made her unhappy, he'd pay. Nobody, including him, had a right to steal Brandy's thunder.

"The next run is finalized. Remmy, Raul, Slade, Pete, and the prospect, Tim, will be riding down to meet Duck and his members from Lagsturns. This will be the last ride for Tim before we bring him up for vote. He's served eighteen months as a prospect, so keep that in mind." Rain gazed at Pete. "Are the cars ready?"

"All but that Mustang, which came with a lost title. We're going to the motor vehicle department today and getting that one put into my name," Pete said.

"No. I'll go with you and we'll transfer all six cars into my name. I want you and the garage off them in case something goes wrong, I don't want the business going down. That'll cover us for five cars, and I'll see if Susan can rush the new title through to pick up the sixth car before we're due to ride." Rain looked at Slade. "Since we're not driving the fleet of trucks we're using for transporting, make sure you pay the drivers ahead of time and give them a thousand dollar bonus to assure their cooperation."

"Got it," Slade said.

Torque watched the discussion. Usually he went on the runs. Though he turned down this one, he missed the action.

"Our end of the dealings with Lagsturns MC is legit, but that doesn't mean there isn't risk to involving ourselves with the Lagsturns. Since we merged with them nine months ago on a limited basis, they've stayed away as agreed. I'd like to keep that long-distance relationship going. That means we stay on guard until our riders are back. Every woman and kid stays in Pitnam. Agreed?"

A unanimous voting of
agreed
broke up business. Rain gazed at everyone, but Torque. "It's unfortunate that we have to have another voting today."

"Bring it," Slade said.

Rain thumped the table with his knuckles. "Torque fucked Brandy."

Torque held back the scowl and bullshit response he wanted to give at the dramatic flair of announcing he'd broken the rule. He lifted his brow instead and gazed at Rain, who'd turned and looked him in the eyes.

"As a club rule, we have two options. He can hand over his patch or pay the crime with two months' probation." Rain leaned back in his chair. "All vote to let Torque pick his punishment?"

"Nah," a chorus of votes said.

The outcome came as no surprise. Bantorus members lived and breathed club rules. There would be no special favors. It wasn't the first time he stood before the table and had his choices stripped away.

He was used to schooling his reaction. No one would ever know how the thought of losing his colors killed him. If he'd learned one thing in life, it was how anyone could rip away his freedom at any moment, without his consent.

"Aye if Torque should hand over his patch. All's final on unanimous votes," Rain said.

No one spoke or moved. Torque held his breath to hide the relief. Nobody was taking his patches. He'd take probation. It'd suck, but he'd deal.

"Aye if Torque goes immediately into probation..." Rain said.

"Aye," Raul added.

Slade and Remmy spoke their yes vote.

The bitter taste of judgment blocked him from any emotion. There was always someone ready to jump on him. First his father, then prison, and even after he was declared a free man. He was never truly free.

When it was time for the last vote, Pete said, "Nay."

Torque shifted in his chair. Votes only counted if unanimous. Without everyone's vote, Rain couldn't carry through with the punishment.
That
was something he wasn't expecting, or deserved.

"You've got the table, Pete," Rain said.

Pete crossed his arms over his vest-covered chest. "I can't in good conscious punish Torque for something my son-in-law did only two short months ago and wasn't punished for. Bruce went behind my back, the club's back, and disrespected himself and my daughter."

Torque's chest ached and he rolled his shoulders trying to find relief. Bruce had not only broken club rule, he slept with a member's daughter. It'd caused a riff in the club for a few weeks, until everyone—especially Pete—accepted that Bruce and Kristen were serious for each other.

"Brandy's an employee, not a daughter, an old lady, or sister. I believe if Torque takes this as a warning, we're good. If he believes there will be another incident between him and Brandy, he must notify Rain." Pete ran his forearm over his whiskered lower face. "It's the right thing to do."

"Aye if you agree, nay if you disagree," Rain said.

The vote came back from all members in agreement with Pete. Torque lifted his chin and met each of their gazes. "Understood."

"Meetings over." Rain chuckled when Raul swung his arm out and knocked Slade's stocking cap off. "Get the hell out of here and go work. Torque, you stay for a few minutes."

Pete stood, laid his hand on Torque's shoulder, and squeezed. He nodded his thanks.

The other members left after looking back at Torque, lifting their chins in acknowledgement that everything was cool between them, despite the ruling. Torque stood from his chair. He was ready to get out of the room. A half hour was about his limit in confined spaces, especially when he was the center of attention.

He remained silent, letting Rain decide when to talk. Now that he was free to seek out Brandy and find out what was going on with her, he had nothing more to say to Rain about what went on between him and Brandy.

The door clicked shut. Rain opened a bottle of whiskey, poured a shot, and motioned for Torque to take it. He downed it without taking a breath. Until the warmth hit his chest, loosening the tension in his fucked up shoulder, he hadn't realized how stressed he was about today's vote.

He held out the glass and let Rain refill it. Bantorus was his life. Living on the outside, he'd have a hell of a time finding a job. Nobody hired a known felon.

"Better?" Rain studied him.

He nodded. "Yeah."

"Good." Rain inhaled deeply. "We need to talk before you walk out that door."

"Vote's over." He shrugged. "I'd like to talk about the run we're making to California. I've changed my mind. If there's room, I'd like to go."