Grass for His Pillow (4 page)

Arai was only one of them, she thought wonderingly. How had he suddenly become so powerful? What did he have that made these men, each of them adult, physically strong, want to follow and obey him? She remembered again his swift ruthlessness when he had cut the throat of the guard who had attacked
her in Noguchi Castle. He would not hesitate to kill any one of these men in the same way. Yet, it was not fear that made them obey him. Was it a sort of trust in that ruthlessness, in that willingness to act immediately, whether the act was right or wrong? Would they ever trust a woman in that way? Could she command men as he did? Would warriors like Shoji and Amano obey her?

The rain stopped and they moved on. The storm had cleared the last of the humidity and the days that followed were brilliant, the sky huge and blue above the mountain peaks where every day the maples showed more red. The nights grew cooler, already with a hint of the frost to come.

The journey wound on and the days became long and tiring. Finally one morning Shizuka said, “This is the last pass. Tomorrow we will be at Shirakawa.”

They were descending a steep path, so densely carpeted with pine needles the horses' feet made no noise. Shizuka was walking alongside Raku while Kaede rode. Beneath the pines and cedars it was dark, but a little ahead of them the sun slanted through a bamboo grove, casting a dappled, greenish light.

“Have you been on this road before?” Kaede asked.

“Many times. The first time was years ago. I was sent to Kumamoto to work for the Arai family when I was younger than you are now. The old lord was still alive then. He kept his sons under an iron rule, but the oldest—Daiichi is his given name—still found ways to take the maids to bed. I resisted him for a long time; it's not easy, as you know, for girls living in castles. I was determined he would not forget me as quickly as he forgot most of
them. And naturally I was also under instructions from my family, the Muto.”

“So you were spying on him all that time,” Kaede murmured.

“Certain people were interested in the Arai allegiances, particularly in Daiichi, before he went to the Noguchi.”

“
Certain people
meaning Iida?”

“Of course. It was part of the settlement with the Seishuu clan after Yaegahara. Arai was reluctant to serve Noguchi. He disliked Iida and thought Noguchi a traitor, but he was compelled to obey.”

“You worked for Iida?”

“You know who I work for,” Shizuka said quietly. “Always in the first instance for the Muto family, for the Tribe. Iida employed many of the Muto at that time.”

“I'll never understand it,” Kaede said. The alliances of her class were complex enough, with new ones being formed through marriage, old ones maintained by hostages, allegiances being broken by sudden insults or feuds or sheer opportunism. Yet, these seemed straightforward compared to the intrigues of the Tribe. The unpleasant thought that Shizuka only stayed with her on orders from the Muto family came to her again.

“Are you spying on me?”

Shizuka made a sign with her hand to silence her. The men rode ahead and behind, out of earshot, Kaede thought.

“Are you?”

Shizuka put her hand on the horse's shoulder. Kaede looked down on the back of her head, the white nape of her neck beneath the dark hair. Her head was turned away so Kaede could not see her
face. Shizuka kept pace with the horse as it stepped down the slope, swinging its haunches to keep its balance. Kaede leaned forward and tried to speak quietly. “Tell me.”

Then the horse startled and plunged suddenly. Kaede's forward movement turned into a sudden downward dive.

I'm going to fall,
she thought in amazement, and the ground rushed up toward her as she and Shizuka fell together.

The horse was jumping sideways as it tried not to step on them. Kaede was aware of more confusion, a greater danger.

“Shizuka!” she cried.

“Keep down,” the girl replied, and pushed her to the ground, but Kaede struggled to look.

There were men on the path ahead, two of them; wild bandits by the look of them, with drawn swords. She felt for her knife, longed for a sword or a pole at least, remembered her promise, all in a split second before she heard the thrum of a bowstring. An arrow flew past the horse's ears, making it jump and buck again.

There was a brief cry and one man fell at her feet, blood streaming from where the arrow had pierced his neck.

The second man faltered for a moment. The horse plunged sideways, knocking him off balance. He swung his sword in a desperate sideways slice at Shizuka, then Long Arm was on him, coming up under the blow with almost supernatural speed, his sword's tip seeming to find its own way into the man's throat.

The men in front turned and ran back, those behind came milling forward. Shizuka had caught the horse by the bridle and was calming it.

Long Arm helped Kaede to her feet. “Don't be alarmed, Lady
Otori,” he said in his rough accent, the smell of pepper oil strong on his breath. “They were just brigands.”

Just brigands?
Kaede thought. They had died so suddenly and with so much blood.
Brigands, maybe, but in whose pay?

The men took their weapons and drew lots for them, then threw the bodies into the undergrowth. It was impossible to tell if any one of them had anticipated the attack or was disappointed in its failure. They seemed to show more deference to Long Arm, and she realized they were impressed by the swiftness of his reaction and his fighting skills, but otherwise they acted as if it was a normal occurrence, one of the hazards of travel. One or two of them joked with Shizuka that the bandits wanted her as a wife, and she answered in the same vein, adding that the forest was full of such desperate men, but even a bandit had more chance with her than any of the escort.

“I would never have picked your defender,” Kaede said later. “In fact, quite the opposite. He was the one I suspected would kill you with those big hands of his.”

Shizuka laughed. “He's quite a clever fellow, and a ruthless fighter. It's easy to misjudge or underestimate him. You were not the only person surprised by him. Were you afraid at that moment?”

Kaede tried to remember. “No, mainly because there was no time. I wished I had a sword.”

Shizuka said, “You have the gift of courage.”

“It's not true. I am often afraid.”

“No one would ever guess,” Shizuka murmured. They had come to an inn in a small town on the border of the Shirakawa domain. Kaede had been able to bathe in the hot spring, and she
was now in her night attire, waiting for the evening meal to be brought. Her welcome at the inn had been perfunctory, and the town itself made her uneasy. There seemed to be little food, and the people were sullen and dispirited.

She was bruised down one side from the fall, and she feared for the child. She was also nervous about meeting her father. Would he believe she had married Lord Otori? She could not imagine his fury if he discovered the truth.

“I don't feel very brave at the moment,” she confessed.

Shizuka said, “I'll massage your head. You look exhausted.”

But even as she leaned back and enjoyed the feeling of the girl's fingers against her scalp Kaede's misgivings increased. She remembered what they had been talking about at the moment of the attack.

“You will be home tomorrow,” Shizuka said, feeling her tension. “The journey is nearly over.”

“Shizuka, answer me truthfully: What's the real reason you stay with me? Is it to spy on me? Who employs the Muto now?”

“No one employs us at the moment. Iida's downfall has thrown the whole of the Three Countries into confusion. Arai is saying he will wipe out the Tribe. We don't know yet if he is serious or if he will come to his senses and work with us. In the meantime my uncle, Kenji, who admires Lady Shirakawa greatly, wants to be kept informed of her welfare and her intentions.”

And of my child,
Kaede thought, but did not speak it. Instead she asked, “My intentions?”

“You are heir to one of the richest and most powerful domains in the West, Maruyama, as well as to your own estate of
Shirakawa. Whoever you marry will become a key player in the future of the Three Countries. At the moment everyone assumes you will maintain the alliance with Arai, strengthening his position in the West while he settles the Otori question; your destiny is closely linked with the Otori clan and with the Middle Country too.”

“I may marry no one,” Kaede said, half to herself.
And in that case,
she was thinking,
why should I not become a key player myself?

T
he sounds of the temple at Terayama, the midnight bell, the chanting of the monks, faded from my hearing as I followed the two masters, Kikuta Kotaro and Muto Kenji, down a lonely path, steep and overgrown, alongside the stream. We went swiftly, the noise of the tumbling water hiding our footsteps. We said little and we saw no one.

By the time we came to Yamagata, it was nearly dawn and the first cocks were crowing. The streets of the town were deserted, though the curfew was lifted and the Tohan no longer there to patrol them. We came to a merchant's house in the middle of the town, not far from the inn where we had stayed during the Festival of the Dead. I already knew the street from when I had explored the town at night. It seemed a lifetime ago.

Kenji's daughter, Yuki, opened the gate as though she had been waiting for us all night, even though we came so silently that not a dog barked. She said nothing, but I caught the intensity in the look
she gave me. Her face, her vivid eyes, her graceful, muscular body, brought back all too clearly the terrible events at Inuyama the night Shigeru died. I had half-expected to see her at Terayama, for it was she who had traveled day and night to take Shigeru's head to the temple and break the news of his death. There were many things I would have liked to have questioned her about: her journey, the uprising at Yamagata, the overthrow of the Tohan. As her father and the Kikuta master went ahead into the house, I lingered a little so that she and I stepped up on to the veranda together. A low light was burning by the doorway.

She said, “I did not expect to see you alive again.”

“I did not expect to live.” Remembering her skill and her ruthlessness, I added, “I owe you a huge debt. I can never repay you.”

She smiled. “I was repaying debts of my own. You owe me nothing. But I hope we will be friends.”

The word did not seem strong enough to describe what we already were. She had brought Shigeru's sword, Jato, to me and had helped me in his rescue and revenge: the most important and most desperate acts of my life. I was filled with gratitude for her, mingled with admiration.

She disappeared for a moment and came back with water. I washed my feet, listening to the two masters talking within the house. They planned to rest for a few hours, then I would travel on with Kotaro. I shook my head wearily. I was tired of listening.

“Come,” she said, and led me into the center of the house, where, as in Inuyama, there was a concealed room as narrow as an eel's bed.

“Am I a prisoner again?” I said, looking around at the windowless walls.

“No, it's only for your own safety, to rest for a few hours. Then you will travel on.”

“I know; I heard.”

“Of course,” she said. “I forgot: You hear everything.”

“Too much,” I said, sitting down on the mattress that was already spread out on the floor.

“Gifts are hard. But it's better to have them than not. I'll get you some food, and tea is ready.”

She came back in a few moments. I drank the tea but could not face food. “There's no hot water to bathe,” she said. “I'm sorry.”

“I'll live.” Twice already she had bathed me. Once here, in Yamagata, when I did not know who she was and she had scrubbed my back and massaged my temples, and then again in Inuyama, when I could barely walk. The memory came flooding over me. Her gaze met mine, and I knew she was thinking of the same thing. Then she looked away and said quietly, “I'll leave you to sleep.”

I placed my knife close to the mattress and slid beneath the quilt without bothering to undress. I thought of what Yuki had said about gifts. I did not think I would ever be as happy again as I had been in the village where I was born, Mino—but in Mino I was a child, and now the village was destroyed, my family all dead. I knew I must not dwell on the past. I had agreed to come to the Tribe. It was because of my gifts that they wanted me so badly, and it was only with the Tribe that I would learn to develop and control the skills I had been given.

I thought of Kaede, whom I had left sleeping at Terayama. Hopelessness came over me, followed by resignation. I would never see her again. I would have to forget her. Slowly the town started to
wake around me. Finally, as the light brightened beyond the doors, I slept.

I woke suddenly to the sound of men and horses in the street beyond the walls of the house. The light in the room had changed, as though the sun had crossed above the roof, but I had no idea how long I'd slept. A man was shouting and in reply a woman was complaining, growing angry. I caught the gist of the words. The men were Arai's, going from house to house, looking for me.

I pushed back the quilt and felt for the knife. As I picked it up the door slid open and Kenji came silently into the room. The false wall was locked into place behind him. He looked at me briefly, shook his head, and sat down cross-legged on the floor in the tiny space between the mattress and the wall.

I recognized the voices; the men had been at Terayama with Arai. I heard Yuki calming the angry woman down, offering the men a drink.

“We're all on the same side now,” she said, and laughed. “Do you think if Otori Takeo were here we'd be able to hide him?”

The men drank quickly and left. As their footsteps died away Kenji snorted through his nose and gave me one of his disparaging looks. “No one can pretend not to have heard of you in Yamagata,” he said. “Shigeru's death made him a god; Iida's has turned you into a hero. It's a story the people are wild about.” He sniffed and added, “Don't let it go to your head. It's extremely annoying. Now Arai's mounted a full-scale search for you. He's taking your disappearance as a personal insult. Luckily your face is not too well known here, but we'll have to disguise you.” He studied my features, frowning. “That Otori look . . . you'll have to conceal it.”

He was interrupted by a sound outside as the wall was lifted away. Kikuta Kotaro came in, followed by Akio, the young man who had been one of my captors in Inuyama. Yuki stepped after them, bringing tea.

The Kikuta master gave me a nod as I bowed to him. “Akio has been out in the town, listening to the news.”

Akio dropped to his knees before Kenji and inclined his head slightly to me. I responded in the same way. When he and the other Tribe members had kidnapped me in Inuyama, they had been doing their best to restrain me without hurting me. I had been fighting in earnest. I had wanted to kill him. I had cut him. I could see now that his left hand still bore a half-healed scar, red and inflamed. We had hardly spoken before; he had reprimanded me for my lack of manners and had accused me of breaking every rule of the Tribe. There had been little goodwill between us. Now when our eyes met I felt his deep hostility.

Akio said, “It seems Lord Arai is furious that this person left without permission and refused a marriage that the lord desired. Lord Arai has issued orders for this person's arrest, and he intends to investigate the organization known as the Tribe, which he considers illegal and undesirable.” He bowed again to Kotaro and said stiffly, “I'm sorry, but I do not know what this person's name is to be.”

The master nodded and stroked his chin, saying nothing. We had talked about names before and he had told me to continue using Takeo—though, as he said, it had never been a Tribe name. Was I to take the family name of Kikuta now? And what would my given name be? I did not want to give up Takeo, the name Shigeru had given me, but if I was no longer to be one of the Otori, what right did I have to it?

“Arai is offering rewards for information,” Yuki said, placing a bowl of tea on the matting in front of each of us.

“No one in Yamagata will dare to volunteer information,” Akio said. “They'll be dealt with if they do!”

“It's what I was afraid of,” Kotaro said to Kenji. “Arai has had no real dealings with us, and now he fears our power.”

“Should we eliminate him?” Akio said eagerly. “We—”

Kotaro made a movement with his hand, and the young man bowed again and fell silent.

“With Iida gone, there is already a lack of stability. If Arai should perish, too, who knows what anarchy would break out?”

Kenji said, “I don't see Arai as any great danger. Threats and bluster, perhaps, but no more than that in the long run. As things have turned out now, he is our best hope for peace.” He glanced at me. “That's what we desire above all. We need some degree of order for our work to flourish.”

“Arai will return to Inuyama and make that his capital,” Yuki said. “It is easier to defend and more central than Kumamoto, and he has claimed all Iida's lands by right of conquest.”

“Unh,” Kotaro grunted. He turned to me. “I had planned for you to return to Inuyama with me. I have matters to attend to there for the next few weeks, and you would have begun your training there. However, it may be better if you remain here for a few days. We will then take you north beyond the Middle Country, to another of the Kikuta houses, where no one has heard of Otori Takeo—where you will start a new life. Do you know how to juggle?”

I shook my head.

“You have a week to learn. Akio will teach you. Yuki and some of the other actors will accompany you. I will meet you in Matsue.”

I bowed, saying nothing. I looked from under my lowered eyelids at Akio. He was staring downward, frowning, the line deep between his eyes. He was only three or four years older than I was, but at that moment it was possible to see what he would be like as an old man. So he was a juggler. I was sorry I had cut his clever juggler's hand, but I thought my actions perfectly justified. Still, the fight lay between us, along with other feelings, unresolved, festering.

Kotaro said, “Kenji, your association with Lord Shigeru has singled you out in this affair. Too many people know that this is your main place of residence. Arai will certainly have you arrested if you stay here.”

“I'll go to the mountains for a while,” Kenji replied. “Visit the old people, spend some time with the children.” He smiled, looking like my harmless old teacher again.

“Excuse me, but what is this person to be called?” Akio said.

“He can take a name as an actor for the time being,” Kotaro said. “What his Tribe name is depends—”

There was some meaning behind his words that I did not understand, but Akio all too clearly did. “His father renounced the Tribe!” he burst out. “He turned his back on us!”

“But his son has returned, with all the gifts of the Kikuta,” the master replied. “However, for now, in everything you are his senior. Takeo, you will submit to Akio and learn from him.”

A smile played on his lips. I think he knew how hard that would be for me. Kenji's face was rueful, as if he also could foresee trouble.

“Akio has many skills,” Kotaro went on. “You are to master them.” He waited for my acceptance, then told Akio and Yuki to
leave. Yuki refilled the tea bowls before she left, and the two older men drank noisily. I could smell food cooking. It seemed like days since I'd last eaten. I was sorry I had not accepted Yuki's offer of food the previous night; I was faint with hunger.

Kotaro said, “I told you I was first cousin to your father. I did not tell you that he was older than me and would have become master at our grandfather's death. Akio is my nephew and my heir. Your return raises questions of inheritance and seniority. How we deal with them depends on your conduct in the next few months.”

It took me a couple of moments to grasp his meaning. “Akio was brought up in the Tribe,” I said slowly. “He knows everything I don't know. There must be many others like that. I've no wish to take his or anyone else's place.”

“There are many,” Kotaro replied, “and all of them more obedient, better trained, and more deserving than you. But none has the Kikuta gift of hearing to the extent that you have it, and no one else could have gone alone into Yamagata Castle as you did.”

That episode seemed like something from a past life. I could hardly remember the impulse that had driven me to climb into the castle and release into death the Hidden who were encaged in baskets and hung from the castle walls, the first time I had killed. I wished I had never done it: If I had not drawn the Tribe's attention to myself so dramatically, maybe they would not have taken me before . . . before . . . I shook myself. There was no point in endlessly trying to unravel the threads that had woven Shigeru's death.

“However, now that I've said that,” Kotaro continued, “you must know that I cannot treat you in any way differently from the
others of your generation. I cannot have favorites. Whatever your skills, they are useless to us unless we also have your obedience. I don't have to remind you that you have already pledged this to me. You will stay here for a week. You must not go outside or let anyone know you are here. In that week you must learn enough to pass as a juggler. I will meet you at Matsue before winter. It's up to you to go through the training with complete obedience.”

“Who knows when I will meet you again?” Kenji said, regarding me with his usual mixture of affection and exasperation. “My work with you is done,” he went on. “I found you, taught you, kept you alive somehow, and brought you back to the Tribe. You'll find Akio tougher than I was.” He grinned, showing the gaps between his teeth. “But Yuki will look after you.”