Authors: Amy Cross
Chapter Six
"You don't know anything about Henry," Sam says firmly, staring at Fenroc. "You don't know anything about
me
. I..." Her voice trails off as she tries to come to terms with the way that two distinct periods in her life seem to be coming crashing together. She's always viewed her life in Rippon as a fresh start, and as a blank page unsullied by the regrets and mistakes of her past.
"I'm sorry if I hurt you by mentioning his name," Fenroc replies. "I can totally understand why this might be an uncomfortable topic, but sometimes we all need a little help getting these things out. It's not helpful to stuff secrets deep down and pretend they don't exist." He pauses for a moment. "I do my research, Sam. When someone comes into my orbit, I like to find out as much as possible about them. I know you kept your pregnancy hidden from the world, but there were little hints here and there. It didn't take much effort to join the dots. Eventually I managed to work it all out. The way you spent six months living along in a squat because you didn't want anyone to know you were pregnant. The highly commendable way you gave up booze and cigarettes for the baby. The fact that you never even knew who the father was, 'cause there'd been so many drunken encounters in alleys. What did they used to call you back in Leeds again? Oh, right, I remember. Sam the slag."
"Henry's a long way away from here," Sam continues, "and he's got nothing to do with anything."
"It doesn't matter how far he is," Fenroc points out. "The end of the world isn't a localized event, sweetheart. If the planet burns, everything on its surface burns. You, me, Henry... Well, not me. I've got a plan, you see."
"Leave him out of this," Sam replies, trying to force back the tears that are gathering in her eyes.
"This world is stinking cesspit," Fenroc spits back at her. "Full of piety and hypocrisy. But things are gonna change. When the old guy wakes up, he's gonna rip this place apart and start a whole new world, and I'm gonna help him out. He'll need me, you see, and he'll be grateful to me for waking him up. In fact, I'm planning to be in charge, on a day to day basis. A new world, filled with truth and beauty. Not like this crap-heap."
"There's nothing wrong with this world," Sam says.
"Aye, you think not? Even after everything that happened to you? After the misery you suffered? You still defend this world?"
"I made mistakes," Sam replies, "but they were my fault. The world's still a good place."
"I'm not here to judge you," Fenroc continues. "I know there might be plenty of reasons why a fit, healthy, intelligent young woman would abandon her new-born child. You probably thought you were doing the best thing, and who's to say that you weren't? But it's still got to hurt, hasn't it? It's still got to eat away at you. Is that why you're so willing to throw your life away by leaping into that pit? Some kind of misguided belief that you can save the world and keep Henry safe?"
Turning, Sam looks down into the dark pit. The rope is dangling down, waiting for her to make her descent, but now that Faraday is gone, she's not sure whether there's any point. Going down alone would be hopeless.
"What if I told you, Sam, that there's another way to save Henry? A better way. What if I told you that I can help you guarantee his safety, and all I ask for in return is your loyalty. Is that too high a price? No matter what happens to the rest of the world, I promise you that I can protect Henry. And you, too, but I imagine that's not so high on your list of priorities. You want to prove yourself. You want to atone for your sins, and let's be honest, you've committed some of the gravest sins around, haven't you?"
"I'm going to save him," Sam says quietly.
"I'll take him with me," Fenroc tells her. "When this world ends, I'll take little Henry with me and he'll live a full and happy life in the next world. How does that strike you? It's not a bad deal, is it? I'll even tell him about you. I'll tell him that Sam Marker was a decent, if flawed, girl who ultimately did what she could to save her son. I'm sure he'll idolize you. He'll look up to you. He'll wish he could have met you. That's a hell of a lot better than the way things are right now, isn't it? I mean, if this world continues, he's gonna grow up to hate you, isn't he?"
"You don't know anything," Sam mutters darkly.
"How did it feel?" Fenroc asks. "That moment when you gave birth and looked down at the child you were going to abandon... How did it feel to know that you could never be a mother poor little Henry? Did you apologize to him? Did you kiss him? Or did you look away, hoping to make the whole experience less painful?" He pauses for a moment. "Where were you, anyway? Where did the magic moment take place?"
"At the bus station," Sam whispers, unable to keep herself from thinking back to that day, three months ago, when she Henry was born onto the dirty, grimy floor of a toilet cubicle that she'd tried desperately to keep clean; she remembers cutting the umbilical cord and trying to wash the baby; she remembers starting to clean the cubicle before giving up; she remembers wrapping Henry in a shawl and writing his name on the fabric; finally, she remembers leaving him on the steps and running off into the night.
"You can have him back," Fenroc says eventually. "If you're really extra nice to me, maybe I'll see my way to letting you come with us."
"I don't deserve to have him back," she says, trying to stay calm.
"But you want him, don't you?"
"It's not about what I want. It's about what's best for him."
"Every child needs its mother."
"I'm not his mother." She pauses. "Not really, anyway. I just gave birth to him, but by now he's probably got a proper mother, someone who'll actually look after him. I've been selfish all my life, but I'm not going to be selfish now. I'm not going to go back and try to get him. The only thing I can do for Henry is to make sure the world is a decent place."
"And that's why you think you can jump into this pit and save everyone?" Fenroc asks.
"You got any better ideas?"
"You can strike a deal with me," he continues. "A deal that's guaranteed to keep Henry safe." He waits for a moment, and he can see that he's managed to get Sam's attention. "You can't stop me. Don't fool yourself. There's nothing you can do to keep me from doing
exactly
what I want to do. Once I've achieved my goal, however, I'll have certain powers. I'll have dominion over part of the next world, and I'll be able to offer both Henry and you a chance to live. Can't you put aside your doubts and fears, Sam, and focus on keeping Henry safe? There's only one way."
"Actually," Sam replies, "there's another way. You could
not
wake the Devil up. You could
not
destroy the world."
"Where's the fun in that?" Fenroc asks. "I've waited for this moment. I've offered my loyalty to those who claimed to be pious and holy, and I was left to rot. It took me a while, but I finally came around to the idea that a true bargain, a proper agreement, can only be made with the Devil. You can't sign a contract with God, Sam, but the Devil's another matter entirely. I'm just fortunate that the other gardeners, those who came before and after me, were unable to recognize the enormous potential of such an agreement. I'm the one who's going to seize the opportunity, and I'm the one, the
only
one, who can help you keep Henry safe. So what are you going to do? Are you going to jump into that pit and try to come up with a plan, or are you going to accept my very generous offer?"
"I'm not making a deal," Sam says firmly. "Not with you. Not with anyone. All I want..." Her voice trails off for a moment as she allows herself to imagine Henry somewhere out there in the world. "All I want is for him to be okay," she continues eventually. "I don't care what I have to do to fix the world for him, but if I have to go down into this pit, I'll do it."
"That's very noble," Fenroc says, staring at her. "Perhaps I've been too hasty. Perhaps in my determination to reach this point, I've neglected to consider the wider issues." He starts walking toward Sam, and for a moment he seems genuinely lost in thought. "It's so easy to let matters cloud your judgment, you know. To get confused and end up not really seeing things straight. You don't know me, Sam. You don't know the misery I endured. I was a gardener here once, and I was expected to be a good little boy and do what I was told. It was practically a fucking sacrifice. My whole life was supposed to be given over to protecting this place. The whole fucking experience was humiliating. I used to do all the actual gardening at night, just so no-one could see me. I hated every second of it."
"There's still time to stop all of this," Sam says, backing away from him, edging closer to the precipice. "I mean, there
is
still time, isn't there?"
"Aye," he replies. "Probably."
"So let's stop it," Sam continues. "The Devil doesn't have to wake up. Can't you just slow down and maybe find something else to do?"
"Aye," he says, still walking closer to her, "I suppose I could."
"Isn't there someone
you
care about? I care about Henry. Isn't there someone out there, someone you love?"
Without replying, Fenroc stops as he gets to within a few feet of her.
"There's no need to fight," Sam continues, starting to feel as if she might actually be able to get him to reconsider. "Whatever you want, I'll help you. Just don't wake the Devil. Don't put the whole world in danger."
"What you're saying makes perfect sense," Fenroc replies after a moment. "I could just give up and go away. I could find something else to do, something else that gives my life meaning. Granted, it's taken me years to get to my moment of glory, but I could change my mind at the last moment, couldn't I?" He waits for a reply. "Well, couldn't I? There has to be more to life than destroying the world."
"Let's just leave," Sam says cautiously. "If you stop now, maybe he won't wake up?"
"Aye," Fenroc says, stepping closer to the edge and peering down into the darkness. "Aye, maybe you're right. After all, I was figuring I'd have to do something pretty big and noisy to get the old guy's attention. I had a few ideas up my sleeve, but I was still a little uncertain."
"Then you agree?" Sam asks. "You'll stop?"
"Hard to say," Fenroc replies, still staring into the pit. "To come so close, and then to give up... Is that the mark of a man, or the mark of a failure? And why
should
I give up? Do you have any idea how hard I've worked to reach this moment? Do you have any idea what I've endured?"
"You can still -"
"Give us a hug," he says suddenly.
Sam stares blankly at him.
"Come on," he continues, smiling. "Remind me of the value of human warmth. You're a mother, after all. I never had a mother. Not really. She died when I was born. Maybe that's at the root of all my problems. Maybe if I'd just had a big old titty to suckle on as a child, and a mother to pat me on the head and tell me I'm a good boy, I'd not have all these conflicting feelings. Maybe I'd be a better person." He pauses. "I'm saying it as a joke, but you never know, do you? There might be a grain of truth in there somewhere."
"Let's go," Sam says, reaching out to take his hand. "Let's just get out of here. We'll seal the hatch and make sure no-one ever comes down here again."
Fenroc looks down at her hand.
"It's okay," Sam continues. Glancing over at Faraday's body, she realizes that although Fenroc's a killer, the most important thing right now is to get him as far away from the cemetery as possible. "We'll go back up to the cottage," she adds, turning back to him, "and we'll come up with a plan. Something new for you to do. Something that doesn't involve so much death and destruction."
Cautiously, Fenroc takes her hand.
"Deal?" Sam asks.
"I came here to make a deal with the Devil," Fenroc says after a moment. "Instead, I'm suddenly making a deal with a teenage girl."
"It's okay," Sam continues, "I -"
"Nah," Fenroc says with a smile. "It's not okay." Pulling her closer, he twists her around and pushes her to the edge of the precipice. "I think I'll stick to my original plan, thanks all the same," he sneers, before reaching into his coat and pulling out a large hunting knife. "Still, I think you might still be useful to me in one respect, Ms. Marker."
"Don't -"
"Too late," he continues, raising the knife before driving it down into the side of Sam's skull, causing her to let out a yelp of pain as the blade slashes through the bone and directly into the center of her brain. "How's that?" Fenroc asks, leaving the knife embedded in her head as he steps back. "Got a little headache, have you?"
With blood starting to pour from her mouth, Sam staggers toward the edge of the precipice before slowly turning and staring back at Fenroc. She can feel the cold metal deep inside her head, interrupting her thoughts. She can feel, also, the blood flowing through her head and down into the back of her throat. As she stares at Fenroc, she realizes that she's finding it harder and harder to keep her thoughts organized.
"Aye," he says with a grin, "I thought you'd just topple over, but I guess I'll have to give you a helping hand." He steps toward her. "I knew you'd come in handy eventually, Sammy baby, but I honestly never realized you'd make such a good alarm clock." With that, he gives her a hard shove on the chest, sending her falling backward and dropping like a stone into the depths of the pit.