Grayson Brothers Series Boxed Set (4 books in 1) (106 page)

Please accept my love and apology, and respond quickly.

Celia Rose

Faith lowered the letter to her lap. For the first time in her life, she understood her mother’s deep sadness. Each time her mother had prodded her to move away, Faith wondered if they were too much of a burden to her. But her mother had just wanted them safe. She’d made awful choices, and there were many things she could have done better, many ways she could have made Faith, Adam, and Cora feel wanted, but for all her faults and failings, she was only guilty of being naive and thinking with her heart instead of her head.

“Can this letter be used as evidence against Stone?” Duke asked.

Cuvier nodded. “It might not do much good, but I’m willing to face the consequences.”

“You can’t do that.” Faith lifted the letter. “My mother sacrificed her heart to protect you from ruin. To bring all this out now would make her sacrifice worthless.”

Cuvier sighed. “It may not serve us anyhow. But Stone has undoubtedly swindled others. I’ll look over the deals I did for him and see if I can track down any of those former homeowners.”

“Don’t let Stone know what you’re doing before we have a noose around his neck,” Duke said.

“No worry. Now that I know how corrupt he is, we all need to be careful.”

“Why would he do this?” Faith folded the letter. “Why would he manipulate my mother and orchestrate a plan that took twenty years just to make money?”

Cuvier finished his wine and set his glass on the mantel. “I don’t know that it’s about money. But if I were to guess, I’d say he’s trying to outshine his brother Gordon, who is the governor of New York.”

Duke’s mouth fell open. “Governor Stone is the judge’s brother?”

Cuvier nodded. “They’re twins, but they’re as different as night and day. Before Gordon left Syracuse, he donated his money and intelligence to building the courthouse. The statue out front honors him and his work.”

“So by turning the badlands into a thriving theater and business district,” Duke said, “Stone not only gets rich but gets the fame and glory for instituting the project, and possibly upstages his brother.”

“It makes sense. His brother is running for senator, a position once held by their father. Maybe the judge is feeling pressured to measure up to his brother’s success.” Cuvier shrugged. “I don’t know what’s driving him, but I’m going to make him answer for his crimes.” Cuvier crossed to Faith. “I’m sorry I disregarded your mother’s letter, but I never knew when she was being sincere. Every time I believed her, she would do something to tear my heart out. I thought she was lying about Stone because she knew I admired him, and that the letter was a ploy by my father to get me back to Chicago.”

Faith sighed and handed the letter to him. She didn’t blame Cuvier for being suspicious of her mother’s motives; all her life, Faith herself hadn’t known her mother’s thoughts or feelings about anything.

“I’m sorry about all of this,” her father said, his voice filled with remorse. “I let my pride and my pain blind me to a truth I didn’t want to see. Despite your mother’s coldness, I sensed her love, and I sensed you were my daughter. But I didn’t want to know for sure, because with your mother’s constant rejection, I couldn’t bear to have a daughter in my life I wasn’t free to love.”

His honest confession didn’t ease her pain or the years of heartache she’d suffered from being fatherless, but it finally satisfied her question of why he hadn’t come to see her. Steven Cuvier was too easily controlled by others, but he seemed a decent and sincere man. That was far better than the man she’d imagined him to be. And she could forgive him.

“I know it’s too late for me to be a proper father to you, but would you consider letting me come see you from time to time?” A mix of hope and fear filled his eyes. “I can understand if you object, but I hope you’ll allow me the chance to get to know you.”

Her whole life, she’d longed to hear those words from her father. To hear them now was both healing and wounding. It was too late for her to sit on her father’s lap like Cora did with Duke, to feel secure and comforted in his arms. But it wasn’t too late to befriend a man she’d been missing all her life.

She extended her hands to him. “I’ve always kept a place for you in my heart, and I can make a place for you in my life.”

* * *

As Faith received her first hug from her father, Duke felt as choked by emotion as he had at his own father’s funeral. It shamed him to think he’d taken so much for granted.

He thought about the times his dad had taken him fishing or swimming or hunting, or even when they cleaned the barn or worked the mill together. His dad had been always there, always taking care of him, until he grew too ill. Only now, as Duke witnessed Faith’s pain, could he understand just how blessed he was—and how right she was. It was easy to choose between right and wrong when you had respectable and loving parents providing for you.

And maybe that’s what his father meant when he said a man had to live with his actions and be able to face himself in the mirror. Maybe he wasn’t talking about the laws and rules Duke had built his life on. Maybe he’d meant that a man should make choices he could live with, that each man had to decide for himself what was important, what was worth fighting for, and set his own standards. And the only true direction for Duke was to love and protect his family.

At home in Fredonia the next evening, after an exhausting train ride from Syracuse, Faith put Cora to bed. Duke had gone to Boyd’s house to get Adam, but only Adam returned, slamming through the door, his face pinched with worry.

“Is Cora all right?” he asked, huffing like he’d run all the way. “Duke said she was fine, but—”

“Yes, honey, she’s fine.” But Faith could see that Adam wasn’t. She hugged him and kissed his temple. ‘This wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes, it was.” He wrenched away. “If I wasn’t so weak, the judge wouldn’t have taken her.”

“The judge didn’t give you a chance to fight, Adam. He kicked you in the chest. Believe me, even if I’d been outside, he probably still would have gotten her away from us. He’s a smart, powerful man. He’d probably been watching and waiting for exactly the right time to make his move.” She nudged the bottom of her brother’s chin to make him look at her. “Cora’s sleeping, but I need to run across the street to let Dahlia and Iris know we’re back. Will you stay with her?”

His eyes widened. “You still trust me to protect her?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes, Adam, I trust you. You can lock the door and let me in when I get back.”

“What if Duke comes home first and has to knock?”

“Then he’ll know what a smart young man you are.”

She stepped outside, listened to the grating sound of the key turning in the lock then hurried across the street. She entered the house without knocking, and found Iris in the kitchen near their small cookstove.

“Duke got Cora back, and she’s all right,” she said, feeling relieved and thankful to have her baby back unharmed.

Iris whirled, her black-diamond eyes startled and full of tears. “Thank God,” she said. “Did Duke kill him?”

In all the years Faith had known her, Iris had never cried. “N-no, I... we didn’t see him.”

“Well, I’ll pay the judge a visit when I get to Syracuse.” Her shoulders drooped and she faced the stove. “I’m leaving.”

“What? Why? Aunt Iris, what’s wrong?”

“I don’t belong here.”

“This is your home. You have honest work here, and a decent man who wants to marry you.”

“I can’t marry Patrick.”

“Is that what’s making you cry?”

Iris shook her head. “I can’t drink this tea.”

Confused, Faith glanced at the steaming liquid. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s a purgative.”

Faith eyed her aunt. “Did you and Patrick... are you expecting?”

“I could be.” Iris sloshed the brown liquid in her cup. “I’ve taken a small dose of tansy and pennyroyal oils in my tea once a month since I... since I started this life. I always drank it before my monthly was due so I wouldn’t know if... I couldn’t even consider having a baby.”

“Of course not.” Faith smoothed her hand over Iris’s thin shoulders, beginning to understand the hard choices and sacrifices women like Iris made each day.

“Your mother wouldn’t drink this.” Iris shivered and huddled closer to the stove. “She said life belonged in God’s hands, not ours.”

Faith agreed, but she understood why her aunts, who had lain with several men a night, would cleanse their bodies each month to avoid pregnancy. Right or wrong, she couldn’t condemn them for it.

“I’m going to move away, and if I’m... if I have to, I’ll pretend to be a widow like you did.”

“Nonsense. You’ll stay here and marry Patrick.”

“I can’t. I don’t have what it takes to be a wife and mother.”

“Poppycock.”

“It’s true.” Iris moved to lean against the counter. “All I needed at the brothel was a smile and a body men wanted to touch. They didn’t care about me or the woman inside. But a husband would care. Patrick cares. Even knowing what I did before I came here, he wants me. And he wants to know about my life.” She pulled a handkerchief from her house robe and blew her nose. “But how do you tell someone your own mother sold your virginity to the man who provided for you?”

Faith covered her mouth, horrified.

“She was a geisha, Faith.”

“Is that a Japanese word for prostitute?”

“No. A geisha is a trained hostess. Geishas spend years learning dance and music and the art of conversation so they can entertain men in teahouses. Some entertain them privately. When a geisha reaches mizu-age, her virginity is sold to the highest bidder. My mother wanted to go back to Japan, so she sold my virginity to buy our passage.”

“How awful.”

“She didn’t see it that way.”

“But you did.”

Iris nodded, tears pearling up on her lashes. “I hated her Japanese blood and everything about her. When I scrubbed that man’s filth off my body, I scrubbed away as much of my Japanese appearance as I could then I left her house.”

“Your Japanese features make you beautiful. Don’t hate what you are.”

“I don’t,” Iris said. “I’ve had twelve years to think about this, and I don’t hate being Japanese. It’s my mother I hate.”

“Have you seen her since you left home?”

“No, and I don’t want to. I assume she’s still in New York City with that despicable man, since she couldn’t find passage back to Japan, I guess the money did her no good anyhow.” Iris sighed. “She said she loved me, but she sold me to a man I detested. She killed the love I had for her. At the brothel men loved my body, and some men thought they loved me, but I’ve never loved—not until Patrick. And because of him, I can’t drink this tea.” She banged the cup down on the counter and stared at the sloshing liquid. “I should drink it. I should leave here.”

“You can’t.”

“If I stay, I’m afraid he’ll tear my heart out like my mother did.”

“Oh, Iris, you can’t let that stop you from trying. I’m afraid I’ll never measure up to the sort of woman Duke deserves, but I’ve got to try. If I don’t, I’ll only live a half-life. And you will, too, if you don’t open your heart.” She hooked her finger in the cup handle. “Let’s pour this out, all right?”

Iris looked at the cup, obviously torn. “I’ll be risking everything if I stay”

“You’ll risk having nothing if you leave. You have to be brave like Aster and Tansy. They’ve found love and happiness. Dahlia has found her place here. She’s made new friends and is happy being able to help Anna and the women who stay with her. Even Anna is making a new life for herself now. You need to find your place too, Aunt Iris, and I think that place is here with Patrick. Don’t you?”

“I don’t know. I honest to God don’t know.” Iris dumped the tea into the sink then fled.

* * *

Adam was alone in his bed, scared about everything. Duke and Faith had been home a week, and whatever Duke did to get Cora back had got his face all scratched up. His shoulder was real sore so he’d probably had to fight somebody. Duke warned them all to be vigilant, to watch out for Stone.  He even had his brothers and Pat, Cyrus, and Doc Milton keeping an eye on them.

If Adam had muscles like Duke, he would have beaten Judge Stone until he couldn’t move, but the man had kicked him so hard and so fast, Adam’s head exploded with black dots that swallowed him up. He was still having bad dreams about the judge coming to take Cora away.

A lawyer named Steven Cuvier had arrived this morning from Syracuse. He’d told Faith he got a big offer on the brothel property right away and just needed her and Duke to sign the deed so he could close the sale then he could transfer a lot of money to the bank for them. Adam thought Faith would be happy, but she’d cried real hard, like when their mother died. When the lawyer hugged her, Duke didn’t say anything about the man being familiar with her. And the man was odd. He seemed too friendly, like he was family or something, and he kept giving Adam a sad look, like Adam was going to die or something. He was even staying the night in the guest room.

Everything was confusing. And scary.

Duke said the judge might try something sneaky. So he’d told his brothers the truth about Faith and their mother’s brothel. Faith worried they would hate her, but Duke’s mother had come the next evening and talked to her in the kitchen for a long time. Then she’d hugged Faith in the foyer and told her she was a strong woman. Adam didn’t know why she said that, but it seemed to make Faith happy

Adam wanted to learn how to use a gun, but Duke said no, that he was only supposed to run for help if Stone showed up. Duke didn’t trust him. He didn’t say that, but Adam knew it was true. He hadn’t been able to stop the judge from taking Cora, so Duke didn’t trust him to protect their family. Adam promised he could do better with a gun, but Duke had only yelled at him. Then later, he’d said he was sorry for yelling, and that he just wanted Adam to get help and keep himself safe if something happened.

But Duke was disappointed in him; Adam could tell. And it made his throat ache so bad he could hardly breathe. He buried his face in his pillow. He was weak and stupid. And scared of everything.

Morning light shone outside his window when he opened his eyes and heard people arguing. His bedroom was above the kitchen, and he could smell coffee and hear the rumble of tense voices.

A jolt of fear sat him up in bed. What if it was the judge!

He threw off the covers, pulled on his trousers then crept downstairs as fast as he could. They were in the kitchen, and he heard Duke’s voice as he tiptoed across the foyer and through the dining room. If Duke was in there, maybe everything was all right.

“I think the boy should know, but I’ll leave this up to you, Faith.” The lawyer’s voice made Adam pause outside the kitchen door.

“Since you can’t step in now, I think it will hurt him, and just make matters worse,” she said.

“The boy has a right to know.” Duke sounded frustrated.

“I’m not denying his right.” She sounded ready to cry. “But what purpose will it serve? It’s been too long. This will just confuse him.”

“I think it will answer some of his questions,” Duke argued.

“What if it doesn’t?” she demanded, her anger surprising Adam. Faith never got angry. “What if it just hurts him? What if it reminds him of all the years his father wasn’t around for him? That’s not useful, Duke. Even if he has a right to know, it won’t serve him.”

“If it were me,” Duke said, “I’d want to know.”

“Well, it’s not you. It’s Adam, and I’ve been caring for him since he was born. I’m not going to hurt him with this.”

Adam was already shaking from jumping out of bed, but his stomach got real queasy. They were talking about him. And his father.

Duke huffed out a breath like he was mad. “It hurts him every day to not know who his father is.”

“What makes you an authority?” she asked. “You never spent a day of your childhood wondering about a man who wasn’t there. Adam has spent his whole life that way, and nothing’s going to change. Is it?”

“I don’t know,” the lawyer said.

His answer confused Adam. Why would Faith ask the lawyer that question? Did the lawyer know who his father was?

“I’m willing to try, but I don’t think I can be the kind of father Adam needs. I can’t be here all the time, and he wouldn’t want to leave you, so...”

Adam’s stomach felt like it dropped to his ankles. That lawyer man was his father? That skinny, big-eyed, sharp-talking man with the fancy suit was his father? No wonder he’d been looking at Adam so strangely last night. Was he here to take Adam home with him?

He didn’t want to go anywhere with the man. Is that what Duke was saying? That Adam had to go with his real father? Is that why Faith sounded like she was going to cry?

Well, he wasn’t going. He shoved the kitchen door open and glared at the surprised lawyer. “I’m not going anywhere with you. I don’t care who you are. I don’t need a father!” Tears choked him and Adam ran to the foyer. He grabbed Duke’s heavy hunting coat off the hall tree and his muddy boots by the door then bolted outside. If they couldn’t find him, they couldn’t make him go anywhere with that man.

He ran barefoot and bare-chested across the frost-covered yard then followed the creek. Sniffling and huffing, he stopped to stuff his freezing feet into the cold boots. He laced them tight, but they were still too big. Shivering, he pulled Duke’s coat on and buttoned it clear to the collar. He backhanded his eyes, and trudged down the rocky gorge. Why didn’t Duke want him around?

“Adam!”

He looked up and saw Rebecca standing on the creek bank with one of her horses. She smiled and waved at him, but he ducked his head and ran into the trees. He didn’t want her to see him crying.

He walked until he was at the place Duke kept his boat then ducked beneath the branches of the pine trees. Duke’s boat was still there, turned upside down to keep the rain and snow out.

He sat on the hull and looked up to the tree tops. No warming shafts of sunlight filled his private cathedral, just a cold gloomy darkness that made him cry.

He didn’t lie anymore. And he’d only stolen that brush for Faith. He’d done everything Duke asked of him. Why did they want to send him away?

Cora called Duke Daddy.

Why couldn’t Adam call him Dad?

Why didn’t Duke want to be his father?

No matter how hard he tried to hold back his tears, they just flooded out of his eyes and made his nose run. He scrubbed the heels of his hands against his eyes.

It was stupid to cry. He was just a cry-baby. Maybe that’s why Duke didn’t want to be his dad. Maybe he thought Adam was too old to have a dad. Or maybe Duke was ashamed of him because Adam’s mother was a prostitute. But Faith had the same mother, so that didn’t make any sense.

Nothing made any sense.

Why would that lawyer man want to be his father now? Had Duke found him? How did the lawyer know about the brothel? But after a minute of thinking, Adam realized that if the lawyer really was his father, he must have been one of his mother’s guests. So that’s how he knew about the brothel. And the judge had been a guest, too, so maybe the men were friends. Or maybe they hated each other because they both had liked Adam’s mother.

His mother was the cause of all of this. If she hadn’t been a prostitute, none of this would have happened. And Adam wouldn’t have met Duke Grayson.

A surge of tears burned his eyes, but Adam didn’t care. It hurt not to be wanted.