Great Sex, Naturally (43 page)

One of the important takeaway messages from
Chapter 3
is that knowledge is power; the more you know about your feminine organs, the more you can optimize your sexual-core health and your multifaceted capacity for erotic pleasure. To this end,
Chapter 3
explored your potential for multiple modes of ecstasy, and looked at the variety of ways women can have orgasms, among them the little-understood type (female ejaculation) that many women are unaware of and many doctors deny exists.

In
Chapter 3
you also explored your sexual chi, and the relationship between chi and your pelvis. According to Chinese medicine, the health of your pelvis—the conduit for all the chi in your body—is of great consequence. Stay attentive to your lifestyle habits; as we discussed, you need to keep your chi abundant, stimulated, and streaming smoothly through your pelvis—and avoid “stuck chi.” In addition,
Chapter 3
explored how you can use simple Kegel exercises for increasing your pelvic strength and further magnifying your many-splendored propensity for pleasure.

If you encounter common pelvic or sexual-health challenges in this core area of your body—such as painful menstrual cramping, vaginal dryness, vaginitis, pelvic pain, urinary incontinence, urinary tract infections, interstitial cystitis, ovarian disorders, or cervical dysplasia—they can be notorious for causing libido limitations and sex setbacks. Overcoming these conditions can dramatically empower your health and turn your sex life around.
Chapter 3
is your go-to chapter for preventing and treating them with a wide range of natural self-help solutions: herbs, nutritional supplements, dietary tips, estrogen creams, vaginal suppositories, natural hormones, Chinese medicine, acupressure, and more.

4.
Harmonize your hormones.
You can additionally boost your well-being and immensely enhance your sexuality by utilizing everything you’ve discovered in
Chapter 4
about your extraordinary hormones—the complex, seemingly magical chemicals that are released by your glands; flow throughout your body; and exert strong effects on your biology, health, personality, sexuality, emotions, and desires. Your hormones affect your behavior and ultimately connect you with your environment by coaxing you to share your feelings, passions, and pleasures with another human being—all the while continually reshaping your experience of love, attraction, and arousal.

Creating and maintaining your hormonal harmony is one of the most important steps you can take to enhance the quality of your sexuality. As you explored in
Chapter 4
, your primary libido-influential hormones—the great six for great sex—are
estrogen, progesterone, DHEA, testosterone, cortisol
, and
thyroid hormone
. Remember that each plays a crucial role in your health and sexual energy, and that balance is everything. When your hormones are balanced, you tend to feel (and
be
) luxuriantly healthy, capable of achieving almost anything you set your mind to, and fully able to manifest your sexual health. If they’re imbalanced, they can interfere conspicuously with your sexuality, health, and quality of life; not only are you less apt to feel sexy and vital, but some hormonal imbalances can turn potentially libido-boosting hormones into libido-busting “harmones.”

Keeping all six of your key hormones in harmony can sextuplicate your sexual health (that is, multiply it by six); buoy your
joie de vivre;
and help you feel energized, compassionate, grounded, erotically receptive, stimulated, and empowered to use all of the other sex-enhancing secrets in this book to expand your capacity for passion.

As you go through hormonal transitions in your life, stay savvy about the many tools and techniques we’ve examined in
Chapter 4
for nurturing and preserving your hormonal equilibrium. You’ve discovered that some of your hormones are more likely to be out of balance during certain phases of your life. If you experience common hormone-related imbalances—such as diminished libido, PMS, heavy menstrual flow, adrenal and thyroid issues, infertility, or midlife hormonal swings—use the methods we’ve outlined to evaluate your hormone levels and treat yourself with natural approaches. Be mindful that there’s a lot you can do to overcome these imbalances and enhance your sexual energy, and that you may often be able to solve them with the ancient and modern measures we’ve explored—lifestyle and dietary techniques, nutritional support, bioidentical hormone replacement therapy, acupressure, herbal remedies, and other natural secrets—rather than by resorting to drugs or synthetic hormones.

Last, remember the inspiring viewpoint offered by traditional Chinese medicine on the hormonal changes you face over the course of your lifetime; menopause is seen as your “Second Spring,” your menstrual flow is referred to as “Heavenly Water” (rather than blood), and exercise can be an effective way to dislodge “stuck chi”—which can play a part in some of the emotional symptoms associated with PMS and midlife changes (as well as the ebb and flow of your Heavenly Water). And keep in mind
Chapter 4’s
unique outlook on how each of your critical hormones, from a Chinese medicine standpoint, can affect your body, mind, and sexuality in terms of their “energetic” yin and yang properties.

5.
Avail yourself of aphrodisiacs.
In
Chapter 5
, we launched Part II of this book—our exploration of numerous new dimensions you can pursue to enhance both your sexuality and your partner’s. In a health-care market dominated by gargantuan pharmaceutical firms promoting products like Viagra, and with conventional doctors trained primarily to dispense drugs, there’s little incentive to tell you about your natural alternatives for sexual enhancement. Yet you have a cornucopia of viable options that can transform your libido in ways no drug can. Many have stood the test of time, were cherished and carefully preserved by your ancestors, and were passed down over the span of centuries.
Chapter 5
is a treasure chest of top secrets from this ancient legacy—along with some modern ones—for stoking your fires of passion to burn brighter.

Keep
Chapter 5
at your fingertips if you ever feel the need for some extra sexual self-empowerment. You can always refer back to its pages, and reexplore its sex-enhancing pearls, at any phase of your life. But bear in mind that while some aphrodisiacs may boost your well-being, you’ll tend to experience their greatest benefits when you’re abundantly healthy. Aphrodisiacs have a way of underscoring one of this book’s underlying themes—that optimal health may give you access to otherwise unattainable peaks of pleasure.

As you’ve seen, Chinese medicine supports this view with its notion that your level of vitality ultimately shapes your libido. (Again, take this book as a whole: try not to let the pages of
Chapter 5
become dog-eared while allowing other chapters to go underexplored.) And anytime you use aphrodisiacs, remember that they’re most effective when taken in the context of love, rather than simply to enhance sexuality by itself. As we said at the outset of this book, love is the most powerful aphrodisiac.

We began
Chapter 5
with your “top 12” herbal aphrodisiacs from around the world—earth’s generous offerings to your libido—including some renowned Chinese formulas that can revitalize both your sexual energy and your overall health. Keep in mind that some herbal aphrodisiacs directly ignite your sexuality by stimulating your genitals or increasing your nitric oxide level, while others act in less direct ways but have potent long-term results. Some Chinese aphrodisiacs, for example, may not have immediate benefits, but build your health and libido over time. And with certain Chinese aphrodisiacs, one of the great secrets is that they don’t work in isolation; once again, their effects can depend on your general sexual health and well-being. To reiterate, the context of your lifestyle is everything. Whenever you seek to harness the power of aphrodisiacs, be aware of this sexual-contextual element.

Also be mindful of another secret in
Chapter 5
—that with many aphrodisiacs (Chinese ones in particular) the key is balance. If your sexual health is imbalanced, taking increased amounts of some aphrodisiacs doesn’t always result in greater sexual energy and vitality, but can instead throw you further out of balance, exhaust your energy, and eventually reduce your libido. As a woman, you’re apt to benefit most from aphrodisiacs that have a balance of yin and yang qualities, and can gradually nourish and harmonize your sexual energy.

Finally, let’s refresh our memory about all the other kinds of natural aphrodisiacs and sex-enhancers we explored in
Chapter 5
: “gentler” herbs, flower essences, essential oils, and scents, including the hidden erotic potential of your body’s own “secret” scents. We also looked at sex-stimulating nutritional supplements, foods with possible aphrodisiac effects, and “anti-aphrodisiacal” dietary items to avoid.

6.
Explore your enhancers.
To further fuel and invigorate your sexuality, you can always reexplore the many natural enhancement options you discovered in
Chapter 6
. Here we broadened our scope to include an array of other methods for elevating your pleasure potential—from modern to ancient approaches, from Western to Eastern measures, and from concrete, matter-of-fact means to mind-expanding practices. The tools and techniques in this chapter might not be traditionally considered aphrodisiacs, but they certainly can have aphrodisiac-like effects and exhibit many characteristics of conventional aphrodisiacs.

Many of the enhancers we explored in
Chapter 6
may not only promote passion and sexual gratification, but also boost your health. Like the aphrodisiacs in
Chapter 5
, you can use these tools and techniques to help transform your sexual health and libido whether you currently need to recharge your sexual energy or you already have a strong libido and want to further enhance it. But remember that all sex-enhancers tend to be most effectual when your health is optimal. With
Chapter 6
, as with
Chapter 5
(and this entire book), one of the fundamental takeaway truths is that your capacity for great health is inextricably linked with your potential for great sex. Use your enhancers wisely, in conjunction with everything you’ve discovered in other chapters—especially the lifestyle recommendations in
Chapters 1
and
2
—and their rewards may outshine all your expectations.

With its in-depth exploration of a variety of sexual lubricants—some that facilitate sex and stimulate pleasure by moistening your vaginal tissues, and others that both moisten and provide extra stimulation through more direct means—you can utilize
Chapter 6
as a reference to compare products and know which ingredients to look for and which to steer clear of.
Chapter 6
also gives you guidelines on using vaginal strengtheners and releasers: Ben Wa balls that date back to ancient China, where they were used to teach women exercises for fostering sexual ecstasy, and modern vaginal cones. These devices can be surprising in their ability to increase your capacity for pleasure—and multiply the effects of other kinds of sex-enhancers.

In
Chapter 6
we also considered the eroticizing potential of acupressure techniques, and explored the effects of pelvic and vaginal self-massage blended with acupressure. We looked at tantric practices as well, including sexual tempo and breathing techniques that can focus your sexual energy and lift your libido to new plateaus. As we pointed out, tantric practices may not be for everyone, but if you want to explore new dimensions of sexuality and intimacy in a committed relationship, they may be right for you. According to some teachings, they can be profoundly beneficial both physically and spiritually, not only heightening your capacity for sexual sensation but also your sense of unity with the universe.

7.
Empower your partner.
In an intimate relationship, your sexuality is conjoined with his; your libidos merge, become deeply reciprocal, and you both fan the flames of your shared passions. Because you are partners in pleasure, your sexuality, in a sense, becomes mutual, and you co-create your sexual well-being. As we emphasized in
Chapter 7
—our penultimate exploration of your sexuality in a relationship—love and sex are all about partnership. In a healthy love relationship, you and your partner are two harmonious halves of one whole … each embracing, complementing, and shaping the other, your two sexual energies fitting together like the interlocking components of the yin/yang symbol. The more you know about
his
evolving sexual nature, the more you discover how compellingly it can influence your own. If his libido is healthy, it can benefit yours vastly; if his libido is out of balance, it can encumber yours in numberless ways.

With this in mind,
Chapter 7
is your go-to guide for a variety of key issues that may impact your partner’s sexual health. Use the tools you found in this chapter to remain vigilant about your partner’s sexual-health needs, and to help both of you plot your course through the transformations he may experience over time. We examined natural methods, including herbal aphrodisiacs, nutritional supplementation, and dietary options that can empower your partner by enhancing his libido.
Chapter 7
also looked at conditions that often compromise a man’s sexuality, and what he can do to treat or prevent them. We focused on erectile dysfunction, explored natural treatments for it, and perused the potential consequences of drugs like Viagra on a man’s health and on a relationship. We tackled the issue of low testosterone as well, including ways your partner can determine if he has the condition, its symptoms, natural means of resolving it (among them bioidentical testosterone treatment), how treatments can benefit both of you, and more.

In addition,
Chapter 7
covered other important male health concerns you may need to watch for, now or in the future: andropause (male menopause), your partner’s hormonal transitions, his prostate health, ways of preventing prostate cancer, and the most effective natural methods of treating and preventing BPH, or benign prostatic hyperplasia (the prostate-gland enlargement that many men over 40 experience). We also addressed circumcision, looked at its effects on sexuality (and on sexual sensation in particular), explored foreskin restoration, and considered how restoration may not only increase your partner’s capacity for sexual sensitivity but affect
your
sexuality as well.