In theory, the black bandana is worn by the gang member with the most seniority, but I didn’t recognize this kid at all. If I’d seen him before, I would have remembered; the boy was obviously a half-seed, part hound-dog by the look of him. He had an ugly pair of canine teeth, but any air of menace was diluted by his floppy ears.
“Well, well,” said Hookhand as he spied Infidel. “If it ain’t ol’ Ripper herself. I see you killed the knight. Quite a prize, that hammer. Quite a prize indeed.”
Infidel nodded to acknowledge the words. She leaned forward, resting her hand on the shaft of the Gloryhammer like it was a cane. She said, “Surprised to see you back in town. I thought you were up on the mountain, robbing pygmies.”
“The volcano’s been spitting lava ever since we saw you and your friends fly out. Looks like you made the dragon mad. I made the executive decision to place some distance between us and the caldera.” Hookhand looked around the room. “Where are your friends?”
“Who are you talking about?” Infidel asked. “I don’t have time for coyness.”
“Zetetic the Deceiver. He was right by your side, carrying a baby dragon.”
“Your eye’s playing tricks on you.” Infidel shook her head. “Never met the guy.”
“Zetetic has a large red ‘D’ tattooed in the middle of his forehead. He’s easy to recognize, even 200 feet in the air.”
“Your depth perception isn’t what it used to be,” said Infidel.
“True enough.” Hookhand slowly limped toward her. His gang spread out to the far ends of the bar. There was no way that Infidel could keep all four of them in her field of vision. There was a time that wouldn’t have mattered; a machete would have just bounced off her invulnerable hide. While the Immaculate Attire protected her body, at some point in the convoluted chain of ownership from Queen Alabaster Brightmoon to Infidel, the helmet had disappeared. Infidel’s head and neck were completely vulnerable. But Hookhand couldn’t know this, could he?
Hookhand stopped about eight feet away. Infidel didn’t look perturbed. Was this just for appearances, or was she overly confident?
“I want Zetetic,” said Hookhand.
“You want to turn him in for the price on his head? Old news. He’s working for the Church of the Book now. They don’t want him dead any more.”
“I thought you didn’t know him,” said Hookhand.
“I don’t,” said Infidel. “But you know I bounty hunt. I stay informed.”
Zetetic had split company with Infidel shortly after getting back to Commonground. He’d promised Brokenwing, the only other survivor of our ill-fated dragon hunt, a visit with a former teacher who was the world’s foremost authority on dragon anatomy. Since Brokenwing was a rather badly mangled young dragon, they’d departed on their quest with understandable alacrity.
“If you like to stay informed, here are a few facts for you,” said Hookhand. “We saw eight people go into the Shattered Palace. You were part of a dragon hunt organized by Lord Tower and Father Ver.”
Infidel laughed. “Father Ver’s a truthspeaker and Lord Tower’s the most respected knight of the church. I, as my nickname implies, am a notorious infidel. A knight and a priest wouldn’t be caught dead in my company.”
“I think getting caught dead is precisely what happened,” said Hookhand. “You were disguised as some kind of mechanical woman to fool them. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened. You and Zetetic betrayed the others. You’re carrying Tower’s hammer and dressed in armor that used to be worn by Ivory Blade. I didn’t see Blade go into the Shattered Palace, but I’m guessing I’d find his corpse if I went poking around.”
Blade had died a good week before we reached the dragon’s lair. But, despite the fact that his conclusions were off, Hookhand had some surprisingly good intelligence. How did he know so much?
I studied his thugs closer. In addition to Kid Black being part blood-hound, Kid Green had distinctly hawkish features, including freakishly alert eyes and feathery sideburns. Kid Blue’s overly long arms clued me in he had some monkey blood. Kid White had some jaguar in him, judging from his cat-eyes and the mottled patches in his close-cropped hair. A hound, a hawk, a monkey, and a jaguar would make damn good spies out in the jungle. By now, Kid Black, the dog-boy, and Kid White, the half-jaguar, were at opposite ends of the bar, machetes drawn. There was no way Infidel could watch both of them at once.
Infidel retained her cool as she pressed a gauntleted fist into her palm and cracked her knuckles. The sound echoed around the room. Half the gamblers abandoned their chips and headed for the door. Infidel’s brawls were sometimes hard on bystanders.
Infidel took the hammer in both hands and once more her skin went luminous. She said, “Lord Tower could fly. He had impenetrable armor made of solid prayer. If you take your accusations seriously, you might tell these children to get where I can see them. If I could kill someone like Tower, what makes you think these kids have a chance?”
“Tower wouldn’t fight dirty,” said Hookhand, snapping his fingers. The Machete Quartet lunged, but Infidel had anticipated the signal. The hammer flared to solar brightness as she shot up ten feet, snapping to a halt just beneath a broad ceiling beam. Most of the machete blows that connected hit her boots, leaving little more than scuff marks that were swiftly erased by the armor’s magic. Kid Blue, the monkey boy, reacted to Infidel’s flight by dropping his machete and hooking his long, skinny fingers into the heel of her right boot. He used his momentum to swing his legs overhead, grabbing her belt with his toes, then flipping up to grab the shaft of the hammer with both hands. Kicking into her chest, he grunted as he tried to pull the weapon from her grasp. The speed and power of the assault caught Infidel off guard and she lost her grip with her left hand, though her right hand held on.
The monkey child placed a foot on Infidel’s face as he struggled to twist the hammer away. Infidel responded by opening her mouth and sinking her pearly whites deep into Kid Blue’s heel. A shudder ran along my intangible spine. Biting the bare foot of someone who’d been walking around the docks of Commonground was the most reckless thing I’d ever seen Infidel do, and I’d watched her dive headfirst into the jaws of a dragon. But, the tactic worked. Kid Blue shrieked as he let go of the hammer, dropping back down to the floor, where he landed on his outstretched hands and somersaulted back to his feet. Nimble little devil.
But, the jaguar kid was no slouch either. With Kid Blue clear, Kid White sprang flat footed from the floor to the bar to the shelf of liquors behind, then shot toward Infidel like an arrow, with a savage swing of his machete. The chiming of the booze bottles as he kicked off caused Infidel to look over her shoulder and she spun in time to block the machete blow with the Gloryhammer. She jerked her knee up to connect a solid blow to the kid’s chin. The half-seed was stunned and fell hard, landing spine-first on the back of a wooden chair, his body folding backward at an acute angle that made me wince.
Infidel pointed the hammer toward Hookhand. Her eyes were narrow slits of murder as she shot toward him. But in her rage she either didn’t notice or didn’t care that a slender tube of bamboo had appeared in his hand. He sucked in air as he raised it to his lips. He blew so hard I thought his eye was going to pop out of his skull. A cloud of red powder caught Infidel right in the face as Hookhand dove to the side. Infidel gasped as she hit the cloud, then grunted as she slammed into the floor. Her armored shoulder took the brunt of the blow, but the impact was enough to topple chairs around the room. She bounced across the oak planks, losing her grip on the hammer. Her eyes were scrunched tightly together as she slid to a halt on her back.
As a ghost, my senses are muted, but even my nostrils burned from the cayenne cloud that hung in the air. Infidel’s face was blood-red with the pepper. She tried to breathe but her throat closed after the barest gasp. Even when she’d had impenetrable skin, she couldn’t have shrugged off an attack like this.
Kid Blue, the monkey child, sprang across the room and landed on Infidel’s right hand, pinning it. Kids Black and White followed suit, pinning her left arm and both legs, respectively. If she’d still been super-strong, she could have flicked them off like fleas. Now, her limbs trembled, but her weak spasms couldn’t shake them.
The Gloryhammer hung in mid-air, where it had come to rest after bouncing off the floor. Hookhand snatched it with his good hand. His eye went wide as the hammer’s power filled him. He tilted back his head and laughed. “At last! At last!”
His feet left the floor as he moved toward her. “I’ve watched a lot of machetes bounce off that pretty head of yours,” he said. “I’ve dreamed a long time about seeing your brains splattered across these planks. Considerate of you to deliver the perfect tool to get the job done.”
Hookhand continued to drift toward her, approaching at a speed fairly described as lackadaisical. Was he trying to prolong the moment? Was flight with the hammer harder than Infidel made it look? Or was Hookhand still a little afraid of her?
“Hold her tight, boys,” he said, pausing a few arm lengths away.
“She’s weak as a kitten, boss,” said Kid Black, the dog-boy who trapped her left arm beneath his knee as he ran his hairy knuckles through her hair. She twisted her head away from his fingers, still unable to open her eyes. She’d started breathing again, rapid shallow spasms that had to be filling her lungs with fire. Sweat poured off her brow and bright red snot ran from both nostrils; I couldn’t tell if this was blood or cayenne. Any normal person would have been moved to either pity or revulsion by the sight, but Kid Black was staring at her with barely disguised lust. “Such pretty hair. So soft. So pretty, pretty soft.”
“She won’t be soft when she catches her breath,” said Hookhand
“She’s weak now,” said Kid Black, stroking her chin, then tracing his fingers down the ivory arc of her throat. The top buttons of her armor were still undone. “Weak and helpless.”
“Just like a dog,” snickered Kid Blue. “Always looking for something to hump.”
“I thought he was always looking for something to eat,” said Kid White.
“She could be both,” said Kid Black, folding the top of the leather breast plate down to reveal her pale cleavage. He lowered his long narrow face to her throat and licked at her sweat.
I screamed in my rage, my impotence to alter things in the living world stabbing at me like a knife.
Hookhand held back, his eye a little glassy as he watched Kid Black run his hairy hand along the top of Infidel’s cleavage. Infidel’s face was already scrunched up as much as humanly possible, and pinned as she was I couldn’t tell if she was even aware of this assault. Was she even awake, or had crashing into the floor knocked her senseless?
“Wake up!” I screamed, my ghost voice hauntingly silent in the room. “Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!”
“Ow,” said Kid Black, yanking his hand away.
“What?” asked Kid Green.
“Something bit me.”
“Wake... up...” my voice trailed off as I saw that the tick on Infidel’s breast had vanished.
Kid Black put the edge of his hand into his mouth to gnaw at the tiny parasite digging into him.
Then his head came apart.
Menagerie could change shape faster than the eye could follow. His powers flowed from blood magic; his human form had been covered scalp to toe in tattoos inked with the blood of the animals they represented. He’d been able to switch between these forms instantly, and even vast differences in sizes hadn’t been a barrier to his magic. He’d been able to change from mouse to elephant just as swiftly as he could between lion and tiger. I’d never before pondered what would happen if he’d entered a person’s mouth the size of a tick, then turned into a full-sized blood-hound. As it happened, Menagerie’s expanding body proved powerful enough to rip Kid Black’s skull open from the inside out.
Kid Black flopped backward, his lower jaw missing, his upper jaw cracked open in such a way that I could see his brains. As his body hit the floor, his ghost seemed to be knocked loose. His spirit rose above his corporeal form, looking bewildered. Since dying, I’ve had the ability to see ghosts as they depart the mortal world, and occasionally to converse with them. I felt like saying something particularly nasty to this spirit. I know this dog-boy was just street trash, a freak, never standing a chance at a normal life, but any pity I might have been able to summon had vanished the instant he started pawing my wife. Unable to summon sufficiently nasty curses from my normally abundant lexicon, I lifted my middle finger to his spirit as it flickered and faded.
The hound dog that had sprung fully formed from Kid Black’s mouth growled as he faced Hookhand. Hookhand shook off his confusion about what he’d just witnessed with remarkable speed and swung the hammer overhead, aiming for the dog’s skull. The hound lunged forward, sinking his teeth into Hookhand’s groin as the hammer splintered the floorboards.
Infidel’s eyes jerked open, bloodshot and brimming with tears. Her blurry gaze fixed on Kid Blue, who was still pinning down her right forearm with both his hands. The monkey child had his eyes on Hookhand, probably wondering where he was going to swing the hammer next, and failed to notice Infidel’s left hand was now free. Infidel reached for the scabbard on her hip. Two seconds later, a dagger was hilt deep in the center of the monkey-child’s chest. He looked at her with sad eyes as he toppled over. His spirit stuck around no longer than the dog-boy’s.