Authors: Ivy Sinclair
“It’s a recent thing,” Millie said. Her eyes returned to her work. “I can’t even explain it, but when I’m painting I feel relaxed and happy. There’s nowhere else I want to be in those moments. I just lose myself completely. I’m as surprised as anyone, but I feel it in my bones, Sam. I was meant to do this.”
Sam understood that sentiment completely. It was how he felt about acting.
They returned to the couch, and Millie drew her knees up to her chest. She looked more relaxed now, and Sam was glad. “Now you know my deep dark secret,” she said, taking a sip of her beer. “As soon as I tell my father, he’s going to try to bribe me to do what he wants. When I say no, he’ll probably say he’s going to stop paying my rent to twist my arm.”
“What are you going to do then?” Sam took a swig of his beer. He had no way to relate to Millie’s financial situation, but he stopped being jealous of it shortly after he learned how many strings came attached to it. He thought that Millie handled herself well and still seemed to have some semblance of independence.
“I’ll get a job,” Millie said. “What he doesn’t know is that I’ve been stashing away every dime he’s sent to me since last fall, and I have plenty tucked away to at least keep me afloat for awhile if I don’t go any crazy spending sprees. Then, if I can convince a gallery to let me have a show and I sell some of my work, I’m intending to pay it all back. I don’t want his money. Not anymore.”
“Are you sure about that?” Sam asked. “Take it from somebody who’s had to work like five part-time jobs to pay for school, having a little help to get on your feet isn’t something to be taken lightly.”
A frown crossed Millie’s face. “I can take care of myself. I am old enough to make my own money and make my own decisions. As long as I take money from my father, he isn’t going to respect that.”
Millie told him many stories about her father over the summer. He could tell that even though James St. John threw money galore at his daughter, the only thing she really wanted from him was his time and attention. She described her mother as a plastic Barbie doll with no real emotions. The only family member that she ever spoke fondly of was her older brother.
Sam held up his beer bottle. “Here’s to the wild and wacky world of finally being a grown-up.”
Millie giggled and clinked his bottle. She took a long pull and then startled him when she reached over without warning and grabbed his bicep. “I notice that somebody’s been hitting the gym. Impressive.”
His muscle twitched reflexively under her fingers, and her eyes widened. Sam wondered if she was looking at him in that moment like a friend, or something more, but then the expression on her face was gone. “It’s kind of a requirement for the acting thing,” he said. He downed the beer and put the bottle down, feeling anxious again.
“Have you snagged any decent parts? Will I get to see you on Broadway someday?” Millie giggled again.
It was the perfect opportunity to tell her. “I actually got a call today about a role I’m pretty excited about,” he said carefully.
Millie sat up straighter and then scooted closer to him. “Really? Tell me all about it!”
“Well, it was a complete fluke that I decided to audition for it at all,” Sam said slowly. “I’ve got so little film experience that I didn’t think there’d be anyway they’d consider me.”
“So it’s a movie? Anything I would have heard of?” Millie started to bounce on the sofa cushion. Sam loved her like that, so attentive and open. She had always made him feel like he could do anything.
“Funny you should say that.” Sam cleared his throat wondering how to say it just right. “I’m sure Kate told you that she got a call a few months ago from that executive producer in Hollywood who wanted to rent out the Willoughby for a few weeks.”
Millie squealed and clapped her hands over her mouth. “You got a role in Where My Heart Breaks? I couldn’t believe it when I heard that they finally cut through the red tape with Walter Moolen’s estate and got the green light for the film adaptation. It’s going to be HUGE! That is so exciting!”
“Yeah, I know,”
Sam said. “It’s generated a lot of interest already.”
“So what’s the part?”
Sam took a deep breath. “Jackson Monroe.”
Millie’s eyes widened, and she looked shocked. “Are you serious? You got cast as the lead?”
Hearing it said out loud made Sam’s mouth run dry. “I know. It’s crazy, right? That they picked a complete unknown for the part? I’m having a hard time believing it myself.”
Millie stood up and disappeared into the kitchen. She came back out with a magazine that he knew covered Hollywood gossip and news. She flipped open the cover and then shoved an article under his nose. “They’ve been speculating for weeks about who would be cast as Jackson. Like, everybody in the entire country is waiting to hear the news with bated breath. Sam, this will be massively huge when everyone finds out.”
His stomach muscles tightened. He knew that any expectation he had of what was about to happen was probably woefully inadequate. “They told me that the press release goes out tomorrow morning.”
Millie knelt down in front of him. Her face was serious. “I remember how many times you told me that if you could play any role, you’d want to play Jackson Monroe. This must be like a dream come true. I am thrilled for you, Sam. You’re going to be famous. You’ll be able to do whatever you want to do after this.”
His thoughts were jumbled. He was terrified that, in less than twelve hours, his name would be splashed across every major news channel in the world. His life would change. He wasn’t naïve enough to think that everything would stay the same. But more than that, he was confused about the feelings resurfacing inside of him for the woman in front of him. He felt helpless to pull himself out of her orbit.
“I could really use a friendly face in my corner over the next few weeks,” he said. He had practiced the words over and over again in front of the mirror earlier that day to make sure that his tone was casual and not at all desperate. “I leave for North Carolina to start shooting in three weeks, and could use some help rehearsing my lines. Plus we wouldn’t want my head to get too big.”
“Hmm, hang out with a hot shot movie star? I could probably find some time to do that,” Millie grinned.
“Great,” he said. Then he stood and helped her to her feet. He didn’t want to give her a chance to reconsider her decision. “How about tomorrow morning? I’m meeting my agent in the afternoon and then I have class. I wasn’t even thinking about it, but I’ll probably have to drop out until this is over.”
“I’m supposed to have brunch with my mother, but I can push it out a couple of hours. I’m not in any hurry to see her. Here, give me your phone. I’ve got a new number.”
He handed it to her, and Millie programmed her number into it. When she handed it back to him, their fingers brushed, and a wave of desire rippled through him. He was increasingly aware of the low cut blouse she wore that accentuated just the right amount of her tan skin. He wondered what it would be like to touch her there.
Feeling his body start to respond to his thoughts, Sam knew he had to get out of there fast. He reached the door and turned to find Millie right behind him. There were only a few inches between them, and he saw a flush of crimson redden her cheeks. If he just leaned forward just a few inches, his lips would touch hers. Instead, he turned his face and brushed her temple with a soft, chaste kiss.
“This is going to be a huge help. You’re going to keep me sane. Thanks, Millie. I’ll see you in the morning.” Then he left before he did something really stupid, like try to kiss her for real.
It was a restless night for Millie. She couldn’t stop thinking about those last few minutes before Sam bolted out the door as if someone was chasing him. The way that he looked at her made her wonder if there was something more to his request to hang out with him after the news broke.
If she was honest with herself, Millie knew that Sam had harbored more than friendly feelings toward her. When they met, she initially started out flirting with him. It was standard protocol with every good-looking guy she met, and it had been completely superficial. But the more she got to know him, the more she realized that he was a truly great guy. Sam was the kind of guy that a girl could fall for and who would be there for her forever. Millie wasn’t that kind of girl who wanted that though. She had her hard and fast rule of no ties and no commitments. She didn’t have an interest in a relationship. So she did the only decent thing she could think of when it came to Sam. She toned the flirtation way down and became his friend. It should have simplified the situation, but instead it complicated it.
Her thoughts turned back to the previous summer.
It had happened two weeks before she was due to return to school. Millie and Sam went out to Lula’s, the only bar in the small town of Bleckerville to drink, dance, and have fun on a Saturday night. Sam’s high school buddies came out and that night the wife of one of Sam’s friends cornered her in the ladies room.
“So what exactly are you doing with Sam?” Casey asked.
Having spent several nights hanging out with Casey before, the direct question about Sam took Millie by surprise. “I’m not doing anything with Sam.” Millie touched up her lipstick and refused to look at Casey. “We’re just friends.”
“Sam hasn’t even looked in another girl’s direction all summer. He’s with you all the time. It’s obvious he’s hung up on you.”
“I haven’t been keeping Sam from dating anyone.” The thought had never really occurred to her that Sam wanted to date someone. Somewhere along the way, the more time they spent together, it had become an unspoken thing between them that when they both had time off from work, they’d hang out together.
“Look, I like you. We all like you. But Sam deserves better than following some girl around who has no interest in him like a lost puppy dog. He’s a sweetheart, and he’s going to make some girl really happy someday.”
Normally, if someone spoke to her the way that Casey was, Millie would put her in her place. But there was a chord of truth woven in what she was saying that Millie couldn’t deny.
“I’m heading back,” Millie said, refusing to say anything else. She didn’t want to get drawn into an argument.
She pushed her way out into the crowd. She was angry that Casey implied that she had anything to do with Sam’s sudden disinterest in the opposite sex, but she also wasn’t an idiot. He had been doting on her all summer, and she’d turned a blind eye to what that meant. Truth be told, she liked having him around, and she didn’t mind the attention one bit.
Casey’s words buzzed in her ear confusing her, and that’s when she saw something wrong and unexpected. Sam stood next to the dance floor, and a pretty redhead had his ear pulled down to her lips. He wore a goofy grin, and the girl arched her back so that her bountiful chest was artfully arranged right beneath his eyes. Sam didn’t appear to be in any kind of hurry to push the girl away.
A thick coil of jealously curled in her stomach. Millie wanted to rip out every single red haired strand on the girl’s head. But then Casey’s words echoed in her mind. Sam did deserve to be with someone who wanted the same things he did. He was a red-blooded man with needs and desires. Their endless conversations wouldn’t be doing a thing to relieve any of his pent-up sexual frustration. Her own vibrator had been getting a workout all summer, and she couldn’t deny that as of late, Sam had been guest starring in most of her fantasies.
But she wasn’t the girl for him, even if she entertained the idea of turning their relationship in a more romantic one. Sam was looking for ‘The One’, and that wasn’t her. She realized then that what Casey said was true. By keeping him close all summer, she had been selfishly holding him back from other relationships.
Blinking back tears, Millie called Kate to pick her up. For the next two weeks, she ignored Sam’s calls and avoided him as much as possible at work. It was difficult because even though they worked in a mansion, it was still almost impossible not to frequently trip over each other.
Sam tried talking to her and asking her what was wrong. She blew him off with non-answers and excuses about being busy wrapping up the event activities for Patrice. Then, the real kicker was she decided to leave a day early without telling him goodbye. Somehow she managed to keep her tears at bay as she kept her eyes on the road ahead when she drove away. Sam’s texts and calls stopped a few days later when she didn’t answer.
They hadn’t spoken since until he showed up on her doorstep.
The truth was that something inside of her was different after that. She avoided all relationships, even just the casual dates. She told herself it had nothing to do with what happened with Sam, but she had to admit now that she might have been lying to herself. It was hard for her to comprehend that Sam was back in her life, and seemed to have forgiven her after she treated him so horribly. But at the same time, Sam wasn’t the type of guy to hold a grudge.
She touched her temple where Sam’s lips had touched her skin. It felt like it still burned from the gentle caress. Something bubbled up inside of her that she couldn’t explain. Part of her felt like she should run again, but the other part of her, the larger part, couldn’t wait to see him again.
When the sun came up, Millie dragged herself from her bed and forced herself into the shower. She thought she’d go for a run and try to clear her head before she met up with Sam. She flipped on the television as she moved around the small apartment. Her ears perked up when she heard a familiar name. She ran over to the television and clapped her hands over her mouth when Sam’s face splashed up on the screen. It was a black and white photo, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. She couldn’t help but notice the washboard abs and toned muscles of his chest. Paired with a smoldering look that she had seen hints of the evening before, he looked every inch the part of a sexy movie star. She had no doubt that women were going to flock to the movie just to see him in action. She would.