19
Deahnna was still smiling.
Three days and just two phone conversations had passed since her evening with Jawan, and the smile that had spread across her face as she'd taken the cab home at two in the morning hadn't gone away. As a matter of fact, instead of shrinking, her smile had actually grown wider.
She'd made love to Jawan.
It had been an unplanned and a very spectacular event. One that Deahnna had absolutely no regret over. The fear and apprehension she'd felt initially quickly disappeared as she and Jawan sat on the couch together, as though they always sat on the couch together. The familiarity, the connection, couldn't be denied. Their being at the dance had been no coincidence. It had been deemed that the time had come for them to get together, and fighting that just didn't make any sense. So as they sat on the couch, his arm over her shoulder, Deahnna refused to go against the grain. She wouldn't fight the desire to touch and be touched. She wouldn't hesitate when the touching became kissing. She wouldn't press down on the brakes when the kissing led to undressing. And she wouldn't stop when the undressing led to sex that made her toes curl.
Deahnna smiled as she walked down Jamaica Avenue on her way home, the October wind having no effect on her. Her time with Jawan had been so simple, so free, and so perfect. There was nothing that could have made it any more amazing. Well, no, that wasn't true. The only thing that could have made their time together even more incredible was if she'd had the opportunity to wake the following morning in his arms. Getting up and leaving hadn't been something she'd wanted to do, but Brian was home, and even though he was her child, there was still a certain level of respect that she felt she owed him.
Speaking of which, hopefully he'd be home when she got there. She and Jawan had another Friday night date scheduled, and, although it would only be their second date, Deahnna knew that more would follow. It was time to have a talk with her son, something they hadn't been doing much of lately.
She smiled as wind whipped all around her. Friday couldn't come fast enough. She was looking forward to seeing Jawan and his intense, brown eyes again. She hurried across the street, and as she did, her cell phone rang. She dug in her purse, pulled it out, looked at the caller ID, and then connected the call. “Hey, girl,” she said.
Her friend, Heather, said, “And why haven't you called me?”
Deahnna laughed. She'd known this was coming. “I'm sorry, girl. I had a busy weekend.”
Heather sucked her teeth. “Apology not accepted. You go out on a date on Friday, and I had to call your ass for details? Nope. Apology not accepted at all.”
Deahnna laughed again. “Please forgive me,” she said as the J train rumbled by overhead.
Heather said, “We'll see. Forgiveness will be based upon the amount of juicy details I receive. And considering how deep in the dog house you are at the present moment, the details better be very, very juicy.”
Deahnna shook her head. “You're crazy,” she said.
“No. I'm getting married in six months. I'm just simply getting my living-vicariously-through-you skills perfected now, because things will be changing drastically for us very soon.”
“Whatever, Heather. You guys have no kids. Your lives won't change that much.”
“Yet,” Heather said. “We don't have any yet. But we will in about three months.”
Deahnna stopped walking, while people continued to rush by her, anxious to get out of the cold. “What? What do you mean you will in three months? Heather, are you pregnant?”
“Huh? Hell no, I'm not pregnant!”
“But you just said in three months you'll have a child.”
“I was talking about a puppy!”
“A puppy?”
“Yes. Ivan's brother's rotty is pregnant. In about three months, we're going to get one from the litter.”
“And how exactly is that like having a child?”
Heather sucked her teeth. “I don't know, but, shit, I've heard so many people say that a puppy is worse than a child.”
Deahnna shook her head and started walking again. “You're stupid, Heather.”
Heather laughed. “Anyway, will you tell me how the date went?”
Deahnna smiled. “The date was very nice.”
“OK. So what did you do? You didn't really just go to the movies, did you?”
“Yes, we did just go to the movies.”
“Boring.”
“It was not boring. The movie was excellent. And after the movie, we went back to his place to watch a DVD that the film was based on.”
“Are you serious? That's what you did?”
“Yes.”
“Boring,” Heather dragged out again.
“It was not!”
“Whatever. So at least tell me that there were some extracurricular activities going on while the movie played.”
“Well . . .” Deahnna paused and thought about the soft, deep kisses that led to both she and Jawan being naked in his bed. He'd been considerate with the way he'd moved inside of her. She'd felt every inch of him, as he did what had been necessary to make her climax, powerfully. Sex wasn't unfamiliar to her, but passion like that had been.
“Well?” Heather asked.
“Well, we did share a glass or two of wine.”
“OK, and after the wine?”
“After the wine, I went home,” Deahnna answered, deciding to keep to herself the information about the night of passion.
“That's it?” Heather asked. “That's all you did? Watch a movie, and then have wine and watch a DVD?”
“Yup.”
“Was the DVD a porno? At least say that it was.”
Deahnna chuckled. “No, it wasn't a porno. It was a cartoon version of the movie. Well, actually, the movie is based on the cartoon.”
“So you went to the movies and then watched cartoons?”
“Yes, and we had a great time.”
She couldn't see her, but Deahnna could tell Heather was rolling her eyes as she said, “That's so lame.”
“It wasn't lame at all,” Deahnna countered. “It was nice and intimate.”
“And there was no sex? No kissing? Nothing?”
“Well, we kissed a little.”
“But you still went home?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then, that means that the kissing must not have been all that.”
“Actually, the kisses were perfect. And just so you know,” Deahnna said, arriving in front of her apartment building. “I didn't get home until after two in the morning.”
“Two in the mornâ”
“I'll talk to you later, sweetie.”
“Wait a minuteâ”
“Bye.” Deahnna laughed as she ended the call, and she laughed harder when her cell rang seconds later. She shook her head and hit the ignore button, sending the call to her voice mail. She could have told her how the night had really been, but Deahnna wanted to keep that night to herself. Heather would make her pay during her next hair appointment, but that was OK, because she knew her friend loved her. Besides, Heather was more bark than anything.
Deahnna smiled and then went inside, walked the few steps to her door, slid her key into the lock, and opened the door. As she walked in, Brian's bedroom door slammed shut. Deahnna frowned, took off her coat and hat, and hung them on the coat rack. The warmth of her apartment was welcomed, but before she got too comfortable, she wanted to get talking with Brian over with. She wasn't sure how he'd take the news. Hopefully he'd see it as no big deal, but if he didn't . . . Well, there wasn't much he could do about it anyway. At least he would know and not be blindsided if word got out around the school or neighborhood.
She slipped out of her white, made-for-comfort Payless sneakers and approached his door. “Brian?” she said, knocking on it. “Do you have a second?”
From behind the door, Brian said, “I'm busy right now, Mom.”
Deahnna frowned. Although he hadn't said anything, she knew something was bothering him, because for the past few days, he just hadn't been himself. She said, “Busy or not, I need to talk to you, so I'm coming in.” She turned the knob and pushed the door open.
As he'd said, Brian was busy on his bed, lying down, his hands intertwined behind his head, staring up at the ceiling.
“Really busy,” she said, her hand on her hip.
Brian groaned, but didn't say anything.
Deahnna went to the foot of the bed and sat down. “Brian,” she said, looking at her son, “are you OK? Are you going through anything that you want or need to talk about?”
Brian closed his eyes.
It was obvious to Deahnna that he had something heavy on his mind.
His eyes still closed, he shook his head. “I'm good, Mom,” he said, the tone in his voice clearly contradicting his words.
Deahnna breathed out softly. She wanted to ask him again if something was wrong, but knew there was no point to it. Whatever he was dealing with, it was something that he just wasn't ready to talk about yet. She said, “OK. But, honey, if anything is bothering you, I hope you know that you can come to me to talk.”
Brian nodded, but didn't respond.
Deahnna frowned. “So, how was school?”
“School was school,” he said.
“Nothing exciting, huh?”
“Nope.”
Deahnna cleared her throat and smoothed out the pants of her scrubs. “So, did you have class with your English teacher today?”
Brian opened his eyes, and dropped his chin to his chest as he raised his head to look at her. He closed his eyes a bit. “Yeah. Why?”
“Just wondered. So, do you like Mr. White? I mean, is he a good teacher?”
Brian pulled his hands from behind his head and propped himself up on his elbows. He looked at Deahnna, his eyes revealing that he knew why she was asking the questions she was asking. He said, “You like him, don't you?”
She looked at him, and after a slight moment of hesitation, said, “Yes.”
“I figured so. I saw the way you were with him at the dance.”
Deahnna smiled, her mind going back to that night momentarily. “Hope I didn't embarrass you.”
Brian shook his head. “Nah. You were cool.”
Deahnna chuckled. “Good to know.”
“Mr. White likes you too,” Brian said.
“How do you know?”
“I saw the way he was with you at the dance, too. Besides, I asked him if he was feeling you.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. He said he wasn't, but I could tell by his eyes that he was lying.”
Deahnna felt herself blush. “I . . . I need to tell you something. The other night, when I came home after two in the morningâ”
“You were with Mr. White, right?”
She looked at her son. For so long she'd seen him as her little boy, her little prince, but looking at him at that moment, she marveled at just how much older he appeared. The edge of his jaw line was sharper, his eyes were darker, more intense. Ever since he was little he'd had a kind of an old-soul quality to him, but looking at him now, Deahnna couldn't help but think that he'd experienced more than he should have.
She nodded, her eyes on her son's, and said, “Yes.”
Brian flexed his jaw, gave a slight nod, and then said, “You fuck him?”
Deahnna's eyes widened, both the question and the words used shocking her. But the shock quickly dissipated as her eyes closed to slits. “First of all, Brian, that's none of your business.”
“But that's my teacherâ”
“I don't give a damn if he was the president of the United States! It's still none of your damn business. Second, since when do you think it's OK for you to use that language with me?”
“Iâ”
“I am your mother, Brian. Not one of your boys. You can use that language outside with them and anyone else all you want, but you better never talk that way to me again. Is that understood?”
Brian dropped his chin a notch as Deahnna glared at him with a look that could kill. He said, “Yes.”
Deahnna shook her head. “I can't believe you would ask me a question like that. I know I taught you better than that.”
Brian frowned. “I'm sorry,” he said, his voice low.
Still fuming, Deahnna said, “Damn right you're sorry. You better remember your damn place!”