Growing Up Native American (37 page)

Someone had hit it not long before Innis had seen it the first time. It was lying in the gravel and dirt that edged the road. There was a trail of streaky blood from the place on the road where it must have been hit to the place it now rested. It must have dragged itself. The blood had come from its rear end. Its back legs were bent at impossible angles. It was breathing heavily, panting. Its eyes stared up at us as we surrounded it.

I squatted down to pet it. I didn't know what else to do. Kay yelled at me and pushed me aside before I could reach it. She said that the cat might try to bite. She said that she couldn't do it.

“Sure you can, just do this,” Ace said, moving closer to the cat. He was out of reach for any of us. I was still sitting in the weeds. Kay and Innis had already turned and started moving toward the car.

Ace stomped hard once on the cat's neck. The cat made a small squeaking noise and then did not make another. The cat expired under the hot summer sun. We had all seen it go. I wondered who would be putting food out for it tonight, how long those scraps would sit before they knew the cat wasn't coming home.

We started walking back to the car.

“Hey, aren't we takin' this?” Ace was holding the cat by the tail, lifting it out to his right, like a fisherman showing off his prize catch of the day. Innis told him to put it down and to wipe his hands on the weeds. He dropped the cat back to the ground and did as he was told. The cat stirred up a little dust which blew away in a couple of seconds.

My mother didn't ask about the dent. She had been on the phone when we walked into the house. As soon as she finished talking to someone she would dial someone else's number and begin with her one greeting which always meant some serious bad news.

“Did you hear?”

My other sister, Gretchen, told us what had happened. Fred Howkowski had shot himself in Hollywood. The cavalry must have finally come.

My mother glanced at the old clock hanging on the wall near our phone, got off the phone, and rushed out the door. She still had curlers in her hair. She was going to drive Fred's mom and dad to the airport. They were bringing him home to be buried on the reservation. The plastic Indian chief rode in the backseat with Fred's dad.

I wondered why Fred went and did that. Maybe he just couldn't find someone to stomp on his throat.

I asked Kay if we could walk back and bury the cat. She said
sure. We buried it in the mountain. We wrapped it up in an old flannel shirt which didn't fit her anymore. We put it in an old cardboard canning jar box. We did this so the dogs wouldn't find it.

We told Mom about the dent when she got home. The plastic Indian chief joined the tribe. We continued to play in the mountain, being careful not to dig where we had buried the cat. Whenever we went to the store the rest of the summer, we walked. We drank a lot of Pepsi. We occasionally bought a Mountain Dew.

We never bought another Plastic Fred.

“The Language We Know” by Simon Ortiz. Reprinted from
I Tell You Now: Autobiographical Essays by Native American Writers
, edited by Brian Swann and Arnold Krupat, by permission of the University of Nebraska Press. Copyright © 1987 by the University of Nebraska Press.

“The Warriors” by Anna Lee Walters from
The Sun Is Not Merciful
by Anna Lee Walters. Reprinted by permission of Firebrand Books, Ithaca, New York 14850. Copyright © 1985 by Anna Lee Walters.

Selection from
Waterlily
by Ella Cara Deloria. Reprinted by permission of the University of Nebraska Press. Copyright © 1988 by the University of Nebraska Press.

Selection from
Life Among the Piutes: Their Wrongs and Claims
by Sara Winnemucca Hopkins. Originally published 1883. Copyright © 1969 by Sierra Media, Inc., Bishop, California. Originally published by G. P. Putnam's Sons.

Selection from
Night Flying Woman: An Ojibwa Narrative
by Ignatia Broker. Reprinted, with permission, from
Night Flying Woman: An Ojibwa Narrative
by Ignatia Broker, copyright © 1983 by the Minnesota Historical Society.

Selection from
Black Elk Speaks
by John G. Neihardt. Copyright 1932, © 1959 by John G. Neihardt. Originally published by William Morrow & Co.

Selection from
My Indian Boyhood
by Luther Standing Bear. Reprinted from
My Indian Boyhood
by permission of the University of Nebraska Press. Copyright 1931 by Luther Standing Bear. Copyright © 1959 by May M. Jones.

Selection from
The Middle Five: Indian Schooldays of the Omaha Tribe
. Reprinted by permission of the University of Wisconsin Press. Originally published in 1900. Copyright © 1963 by the Regents of the University of Wisconsin.

Selection from
Lame Deer: Seeker of Visions
by John Fire/Lame Deer and Richard Erdoes. Copyright © 1972 by John Fire/Lame Deer and Richard Erdoes. Reprinted by permission of Simon & Schuster, Inc.

“Saint Marie” by Louise Erdrich. From
Love Medicine
by Louise Erdrich. Copyright © 1984 by Louise Erdrich. Reprinted by Permission of Henry Holt and Co., Inc.

Selection from
Indian School Days
by Basil Johnston. Reprinted with permission from
Indian School Days
by Basil H. Johnston, published by Key Porter Books Limited, Toronto, Ontario. Copyright © 1988 Basil H. Johnston.

Selection from
Sundown
by John Joseph Mathews. Copyright © 1934 by John Joseph Mathews, assigned 1987 to the University of Oklahoma Press.

Selection from
Mean Spirit
by Linda Hogan. Reprinted with the permission of Atheneum Publishers, an imprint of Macmillan Publishing Company. Copyright © 1990 by Linda Hogan.

Selection from
The Names: A Memoir
by N. Scott Momaday. Reprinted by permission of the author. Copyright © 1976. Published by University of Arizona Press.

“Notes of a Translator's Son” by Joseph Bruchac. Reprinted from
I Tell You Now: Autobiographical Essays By Native American Writers
, edited by Brian Swann and Arnold Krupat, by permission of the University of Nebraska Press. Copyright © 1987 by the University of Nebraska Press.

Selection from
Bobbie Lee: Indian Rebel
by Lee Maracle. Reprinted by the permission of Women's Press, Toronto, Ontario. Copyright © 1990 by Lee Maracle.

“The Talking That Trees Does” by Geary Hobson. Reprinted by permission of the author. Copyright © 1983.

“The Water Witch” by Louis Owens. Reprinted by permission of the author. Copyright © 1988.

“Grace” by Vickie Sears. From
Spider Woman's Grandaughters
by edited Paula Gunn Allen. Reprinted by permission of Beacon press.

“Uncle Tony's Goat” by Leslie Marmon Silko. Reprinted by permission of author. Copyright © 1974.

Selection from
A Yellow Raft in Blue Water
by Michael Dorris. Copyright © 1987 by Michael Dorris. Reprinted by permission of Henry Holt and Co., Inc.

“The Ballad of Plastic Fred” by Eric L. Gansworth. Printed by permission of the author.

I would like to thank Inés Hernandez, Terry Wilson, Clifford Trafzer, John Purdy, and Jana Sequoya for their excellent scholarship, constant support, and helpful suggestions. I would also like to thank Gerald Vizenor for making me aware of this project and for his important work in the field, and Will Schwalbe for his patient editorial assistance.