‘We got back to my ship and I transited out to the beacon I’d originally been heading for. Nual said the transit-kernel in her ship was damaged, but even if it had been working I don’t think the Sidhe were in any state to come after us.
‘I took Nual to Khathryn. I don’t know if she told you, but she reacts very badly to transits, so she could hardly stay with me - I travel all the time. I didn’t have a comabox then—I could’ve bought one for her, but I wasn’t comfortable with the idea of trolling around the spaceways with a Sidhe in tow. Elarn and I had our differences but I thought - stupidly - that the two of them might help each other. Elarn has -
had
- a sort of misplaced mothering instinct, and Nual was completely alone in the world, with no clue about the wider universe. Anyway, it was a
really
bad idea. They got too close, and then Elarn realised I’d brought a Sidhe into her home. She threw us both out and said she never wanted to see me again. I took Nual to Vellern in the Tri-Confed system because I thought it was a good place for her to hide, being so busy and anarchic. I was right, because they didn’t find out she was there until they captured me at Serenein and . . . interrogated me.’ They sat in silence for a while. Then Taro said, ‘I reckon she hates herself sometimes. For what she is, the stuff she can do.’
‘Yeah,’ said Jarek, ‘you may be right.’
Though neither of them had any more than the usual human level of empathy, Jarek thought they were both thinking along the same lines: their shared transit experience had given them the beginnings of a bond, and with Nual unconscious, they were as independent of her influence as they’d ever be. Yet they still loved her, both of them, in their different ways. He had no idea if that observation came from true objectivity or was just a comforting illusion.
CHAPTER NINE
Jarek was right, thought Taro as he watched the formless blobs of nameless colour amble through his vision: shiftspace wasn’t so bad when you got used to it. This was his third transit; according to Jarek, three back-to-back shifts should ensure they’d lose any possible tail from Khathryn.
He remembered - vaguely - that he’d gone well gappy during the first transit. Jarek didn’t mention it afterwards, so Taro decided not to stress about it. Truth be told, he felt a little better for letting some of that shit out.
For the second transit he’d snorted a bit too much of the happy-dust, and all he recalled now was grinning till his face hurt, and some odd dreams about body parts dropping off. To his embarrassment he came out of it to discover he’d pissed himself. Jarek said that happened sometimes if you over-medicated and got a bit lost so Taro decided to ease back on the inhaler in future.
This time the transit wasn’t much worse than a smoky trip. The coloured blobs smelled surprisingly nice, except for that last one, which was a bit like shit burning. Taro considered asking Jarek whether there was any shit on fire around here, but he found he’d lost the ability to speak. He’d best just assume there wasn’t. After a while the smell went away and the blob morphed into a giant floating head which expanded until the features were stretched absurdly tight, then burst in a shower of petals.
The trick with transits was to remember that this head-fuck was something that would pass, like bad drugs, or a nightmare: it was weird shit, maybe even nasty, but it wasn’t dangerous. Even so, he was relieved when it was over. He resisted the urge to sleep off the after-effects, though three shifts in quick succession left him pretty trashed, because it was finally time to wake Nual up.
He waited by the comabox while Jarek sorted the controls and she came to. It took ages. She finally emerged groggy, but unharmed.
‘You all right?’ asked Taro. She looked a bit pale.
‘I’m fine,’ she said, ‘and I remember nothing of being in shiftspace. How did you cope?’
‘Oh, it was a bit smoky at first. We made three transits while you were out, so I’m a veteran now.’
Back in the rec-room, Jarek fixed them some caf and food, or what passed for food now the ship had run out of fresh supplies and they were relying on recycled flavoured gloop or freeze-dried rations. Nual insisted on clearing up afterwards. Taro watched her from the table, glad she was awake and unharmed.
Jarek stood up and said, ‘I need to get some sleep now, and then we’ll wake our guest. He should be more or less healed by then, and able to answer a few questions.’
Taro had almost forgotten the pilot from the Sidhe ship, who was still lying, totally out of it, on the couch by the wall.
‘You might want to get some rest too,’ he said to Taro. Then, to Nual, ‘I’m guessing you’re not tired. Will you be all right by yourself?’
‘Now that we won’t be making any more transits for a while?’
‘Yeah.’
Nual looked at him oddly. ‘What is it, Jarek? What is it you need to say? I’m trying not to read you, but your mind is full of this
thing
whenever you talk about shiftspace.’
Jarek expelled a low breath and sat down again. ‘I should’ve told you earlier, but the time wasn’t right. Actually, it’s probably better I didn’t mention it before, for Taro’s sake; it’s not something you want to think about during your first transit. It’s about Serenein. The big secret, the whole reason the Sidhe set the place up—’ He looked at Nual, then Taro. ‘They’re selectively breeding boys with a certain … unusual talent. They can enter shiftspace at will.’
‘Why do they want these boys?’ asked Nual warily.
Jarek cleared his throat. ‘Actually, I wondered if you might have an idea about that, given what happened when you first went into shiftspace alone.’
‘You think - you think this relates to the mind I sensed in the shift? The mind in your ship?’
‘Am I missing something here?’ asked Taro, looking between the two of them.
‘Jarek is referring to my problem with shiftspace. Did he tell you about that?’
‘Not really. He did tell me how he found you, on the ship where everyone’d gone gappy.’
‘That would be one way of putting it. We used to enter the shift in unity; I would mesh my will with my sisters to create our own island of sanity amidst the chaos. On the
Judas Kiss
I had no such support, and once in shiftspace my mind instinctively searched for another of my kind to save me from the void. I couldn’t help myself. And I found . . . There
is
a mind here, within the drive-column of this ship, and it has been here for many centuries, imprisoned, warped; driven mad. I . . .’ She looked down at her hands. ‘I knew then that broken creature was the force that powers your ship through shiftspace, but I did not say. Perhaps I should have.’
‘So—’ Taro looked at her. ‘So you’re saying there’s a boy from Serenein hidden on board this ship, and that’s what makes us go into shiftspace?’
‘Not exactly,’ said Jarek. ‘Transit-kernels were invented by the Sidhe, and they’re very hard to make - hence the rarity of shiftships. They’re sealed black boxes hidden deep within the drive-column. Trained engineers can’t do much more than check the interface between the kernel and the rest of the ship’s systems, because if they fuck with the box then the kernel stops working - or worse, blows up spectacularly. They say one set off a chain-reaction with a beacon at a hubpoint once. Thousands of people died. That whole system was lost.’
‘Where do these transit-kernels come from?’ asked Taro.
‘A handful of companies, operating under great secrecy, supply them to the shipyards. But now I believe the minds within them come from Serenein. The locals send the boys who make the grade up into orbit, thinking they’re ascending to Heaven, but what actually happens is that the Sidhe pick them up. That’s why the
Setting Sun
went to Serenein.’
‘The sick fuckers,’ said Taro angrily. ‘So where do they take them?’
‘I don’t know. But the pilot will, and that’s why we need to wake him up. But first, I have to get some rest. And so do you.’
Nual told them both she’d be fine; she just needed time to think, so Taro used the spare cabin. When he lay down he buried his head in the pillow, trying to catch her scent, but it just smelled musty. He slept badly, with more nasty dreams, this time of being slowly walled up inside a tiny room, paralysed and unable to do anything but watch as the last chinks of light disappeared and the air grew thick and hard to breathe.
Jarek was already up and about when he awoke. Over the meal that Taro decided to call breakfast he asked where they were now.
‘Xantier. It’s a hubpoint.’
‘Is there much to see here? The last hub we visited was pretty boring.’
‘Hub stations usually are when it comes to sightseeing, though Xantier’s a hollow-earth, so it’s a bit more interesting than most. They’re where I do most of my business though.’ He pulled a wry face. ‘Thanks to the assorted bribes and fines I’ve had to pay recently, I need to sell those Old Earth artefacts quickly, so we’re going to have to stay here a while, at least long enough for messages from potential buyers to catch up with me.’
‘Is that safe?’ asked Nual. ‘Could the Sidhe pick up your beevee communication?’
‘If the Sidhe have got good databreakers they could theoretically spot messages being routed to me, but they’d have to actively search through massive amounts of well-protected data, and that would attract attention. I’d prefer to assume they haven’t got that much power.’ He stood up. ‘While we make our way to Xantier Station we should talk to our guest.’ He went over to the medical couch. ‘It’s probably best if you two stay back there, out of his line of sight. Nual, there’s a good chance he won’t co-operate, in which case, I might need to call on your talents. If that’s all right.’
She must have sensed Taro’s unease, for she spoke in his mind
Taro projected reluctant acceptance.
Out loud Nual said, ‘I will help if you need me to.’
Jarek strapped the pilot firmly onto the couch, then made adjustments to the drips and monitors. When he was satisfied, he stood back and waited.
After a few minutes the pilot twitched, then groaned. He tried to move his arms, grunting in surprise when he found he couldn’t. Taro didn’t see him open his eyes but he saw the way he stopped struggling and focused on Jarek.
His voice hoarse, the pilot said, ‘You—? You killed them, you bastard!’
‘That’s right,’ Jarek said calmly. ‘Your mistresses are dead. They’ve been dead more than three weeks, and we’re far from Serenein. But you’re still alive and back in good shape now, thanks to me.’
‘I don’t owe you shit.’
‘I didn’t really expect gratitude. And I’m guessing you don’t particularly want to tell me about your life with the Sidhe.’
‘Go fuck yourself.’
‘That’s pretty much what I thought you’d say.’
The pilot snorted. ‘Is this the bit where you tell me there’s an easy way and a hard way and I just picked the hard way?’
‘Actually, no.’ Jarek gestured towards Nual, who got up and began to walk across the room. ‘This is the bit where I introduce you to my friend.’ He stepped back. The pilot turned as far as his restraints allowed.
‘What—?’ he said, confused. Then his eyes widened. ‘My God, you’re—’
‘Aye,’ said Nual. ‘I am.’
She stood close enough that he could have touched her if his hands had been free. They stayed like that for some time, silent, staring into each other’s faces. The only thing that moved was the pilot’s heaving chest.
Taro felt a flash of jealousy; this was the first time she’d shared head-space with anyone other than him. He pressed his hands together and tried to fight the feeling.
Finally Nual shook her head and took a step backwards.
The pilot closed his eyes and let go an explosive sigh.
An expression of dismay on her face, Nual said,
She must’ve been speaking in Jarek’s head too, for he started moving at the same time as Taro.
They followed her up the ladder. On the bridge the viewing bubble was half open. A couple of the distant lights were moving, which seemed to Taro like an odd thing for stars to do. When he stared at them, Jarek said, ‘Those are other ships. This is a busy place.’ Then, to Nual, ‘So, what was all that about?’