Read Guarding His Heart Online
Authors: Carolyn Spear
After a few moments, he withdrew from her still incredibly tight body to dispose of the condom.
I should tell her everything
.
And I will when the time is right.
He lay down with her, pulling her into his arms and burrowed under the covers. He ignored the inner voice calling him a lying coward.
Chapter
5
C
assidy woke the following morning tangled up in the covers and Trevor. She shifted, trying to untie her legs from the sheets without waking him.
Trevor.
Forty-eight hours ago, she’d thought he was dead. Even though she only knew him in passing, she was not only very attracted by his masculine warrior appearance, but also his quiet affectionate demeanor with Allan.
He’d make a great dad
.
She glanced at the bedside table, where six—count ’em six—condoms had been stocked by the resort for their guests’ pleasure. After all, sex is a great way to relieve tension. Wow was it! She could barely move this morning because they’d used every one of them.
Had he planned to seduce her? Or somebody else? He had a right to. They weren’t a committed couple or anything.
She didn’t want anyone else.
Maybe he felt the same way, too. Her heart skipped a beat as she remembered how attentive he was yesterday when they came up for air at lunch. She loved the way he touched her: lightly stroking the back of her hand, tracing a finger on her arm or leg, brushing his knuckles gently over her cheek. Her skin tingled and she couldn’t help sighing like a schoolgirl or smiling like a lunatic. She’d never been with a man who seemed so entranced with her.
He kissed the top of her head and pulled her close. He was doing it again. No one had ever made her feel so cherished, so loved.
Love. Is that what this is?
Weaving her fingers through the curly hair on his chest, she snuggled tighter.
Love? Yeah, she was going there. Not falling, perhaps, but definitely taking purposeful steps in that direction. She fought her heart’s desire to rush in and dive off the cliff. Her body’s signals were clear on the topic. Her head told her Trevor had so much more to offer beyond the sex.
Both of them ending up on an island she’d never heard of was more than a coincidence. He held a secret. She didn’t believe what he’d said about being a spy and she’d seen him turn into a beast. If only he trusted her with his secret. One thing she’d learned from her mother’s emotional distance was that she needed someone she could count on unconditionally.
She still had time to earn his trust. She prayed a few more days was enough.
Being with Trevor is as surreal as this island
. She watched him over the rim of her coffee cup. They sat at a cozy table for two in the crowded dining room. Empty plates stacked in front of them proved they’d worked up a strong appetite from their lovemaking.
“I have to see Sage for a moment,” Trevor said.
As he pushed back his chair to rise, she didn’t meet his eyes. Of course, he’d want to see Sage. The woman was small and beautiful, vivacious and serene.
Her insecurities were only mildly assuaged by his kiss on the top of her head and the affectionate squeeze of her shoulder.
“Be right back, baby.”
She tracked him as he approached the petite blond woman in the lobby. He still hadn’t admitted to his heritage and she hadn’t asked him. He had to open up and trust her on his own or they had no future together. Maybe they didn’t anyway. Why did he need to see Sage? She hated that he would feel a closer connection with another woman, hated this jealousy that churned in her stomach and her throat.
She couldn’t—no wouldn’t—sit here while he spent time with another woman, so she shot from her chair and threw her napkin on the table. As she turned, she bumped into the geeky man she thought of as “the professor.”
“Excuse me,” she muttered.
He steadied her, taking her arm. His dark brown—almost black—eyes burned into her. Her skin crawled from the assessing look and the insincere smile curving his lips. Creeped out by his expression and his forward nature—he grasped her arm for much longer than necessary—she again mumbled an apology, tore her arm from his hold and hurried away.
Rounding the corner, she shook off the chill from her encounter with the weird geek, only to encounter a scene that fired her temper. A tall, strikingly beautiful woman with long black hair, dressed all in black, stood alongside the pixie-like Sage, who skimmed Trevor’s cheek with her fingertips while he leaned down in intimate conversation.
Bile rose in her throat, but instead of running, she edged closer to hear.
“So, Trev,” the brunette said, “easier to keep an eye on your new charge when she’s in your bed?”
He drew back, though she couldn’t hear what he said but she did catch the unknown woman’s reply.
“I’m just saying it definitely makes your job easier. Easier to know where your sheath is when your dagger’s in it.”
Laughter rang in Cassidy’s ears as she stormed to the front desk. The card-flipping gypsy woman glanced up, but continued turning cards almost automatically. The woman’s nametag was wrong: it said Rekkus. Was everyone here playing with her?
“Turn left, up the hill about a fifteen minute walk.”
What? She hadn’t asked a question. Yet. “Wait a minute. Are you psychic?”
The gypsy smirked. “Me? No. But the cards tell me what I need to know.”
“I wish they could tell me.” This crazy island was turning out to be more of an asylum than the one she’d left on the mainland.
The woman’s smile turned gentle and appeared genuine. “The cards only tell me the possibilities. You, my friend, decide your fate. Your path.”
Cassidy shook her head, the kind words touching deeply enough to break through the fury to expose the hurt beneath.
With tears now flowing, pissing her off even more, she muttered a thank you and made her way out the building.
Damn him
. He was a bastard for taking advantage of her. As she stomped along the path, her anger dissipated, replaced with self-blame. She should have known better than to expect anything from such an attractive man. A player. Or maybe he needed more than what she was.
She shouldn’t have assumed they were exclusive. Being together these last few days, sharing a traumatic experience, feeling whole and cherished when she was with him made her feel like they were meant to be together. Like fate. But that was crazy. And she was tired of being crazy.
And what the hell did she mean “his charge?” So his job was to protect
her
now? Was getting her into bed just a part of the job or a fringe benefit? Well, she didn’t need his protection.
Only a few more days to avoid him. She’d tell him to leave her alone. Go spend his time with Sage Rowan or whomever the hell else he desired. Stay the hell out of her life.
Disappointment outranked the hurt and pain by the time she arrived at the waterfall.
The flowing water and lulling sound soothed her. She wasn’t completely relieved of all that pained her, but this place instilled solace in her.
Glancing around, half expecting to sense her bodyguard nearby, she kicked off her shoes and sank her feet into the luxuriant moss. The rushing water drowned out her critical inner voice berating her for believing in yet another person who’d let her down. No, this was here. This was now.
She would get over him and push past the pain the same way she’d gotten over her father’s death.
“Myron,” Trevor began as he tried to hold the raucous laugh inside and failed, “you know Rekkus will not find that amusing.” He jerked his chin toward her chest where the bogus nametag was pinned.
Her mouth and eyebrow twitched up in tandem as she replied, “It was the first one I grabbed. I’m not trying to piss him off.”
Yeah, right
. He wasn’t fooled as the grin she attempted to suppress spread across her face.
“But back to why you are here?” Myron sat back and flipped over another of her seemingly ordinary cards.
“Blackjack,” he said as he watched her turn over an ace of diamonds and a king of spades. “Hey, have you seen Cassidy—”
“Not blackjack, Trevor, but a mixed message.” Her brow furrowed as she stared at the cards then back at him. “A package or a message will arrive, very important, and an influential man may get in the way.”
“What the hell does that mean?” The mystic and mischievous desk clerk exasperated him. Concerned for Cassidy, he needed to know her whereabouts.
The woman leaned back in her chair, serene again as she shuffled the cards. “I just read the cards, Trevor. It’s up to you to figure how the message applies to your current situation.”
Her careless shrug infuriated him. He needed to know where his charge was. Now. After counting to ten, he tried again.
“Myron—or Rekkus—can you please tell me if you’ve seen Cassidy Sinclair?”
She took her time answering his simple question. “Yes. Yes, I have seen her.”
“Today? Recently?” His blood pressure shot up as he struggled to calm down.
“Yes, just a few minutes ago.”
Finally, I’m getting somewhere
.
With sarcasm dripping from his words like blood from a vamp’s fangs, he asked, “Could you tell me in which direction she went?”
She pissed him off with another careless shrug. “Sure, she headed toward the waterfall.”
He didn’t bother to thank her for her help since he’d had to extract it from her so painfully. His giant stride ate up the distance between Myron and the exit.
“Oh, to say she was angry would be to put it mildly.”
Great. Just fucking great.
So, she’d disappeared, she hadn’t found him to tell him where she was going and she was ticked.
Nothing like an angry female to make your day.
Stalking out the door, he shouldered past Rekkus.
“Hey. Watch where you’re going.” His tone was low and deadly.
Even though his friend’s face was neutral, Trevor wasn’t a match to Rekkus’s gift from the fates: super strength, both in human and shifted forms. His best option to calm down, apologize, and maybe Rekkus could help him find his woman. Damn it. Not his woman, his charge.
He should stop thinking of her as his. If he didn’t keep his head in the game, he’d miss another signal things were amiss and this time his charge would die. He couldn’t let that happen—not to Cassie.
While he’d given his heart to her in the last day and a half, he hadn’t given her his trust. He still hadn’t told her his biggest secret. He’d had this internal argument a hundred times. He needed her and loved her but he couldn’t trust any human. Still, the thought of her with another man, bearing his children twisted his insides and made his heart ache painfully in his chest.
After a deep inhalation to clear his head, he spoke. “Man, I’m sorry. I can’t find Cassie and Myron said she’s headed to the waterfall.”
Rekkus dropped his hand from Trevor’s arm and smiled. “Ah, so it’s ‘Cassie’ now, is it? I’m sure she’s fine, my friend.”
Shit, he didn’t need this right now. “It’s not like that—”
“Oh, sure it is.” The unfamiliar wide smile spread on the man’s face, further irritating Trevor. Rekkus was a strong, fairly unemotional type except when his mate, Dana, was involved. “I feel the same way about Dana. I can handle anything with a cold, clear head. Add her to the equation and I’m ready to rip someone’s throat out.” He patted Trevor on the shoulder. “It gets better after you’re mated.”
Trevor stepped away, distancing himself from the concept he’d battled with many times since he’d first seen Cassidy Sinclair.
“Can’t happen, Rekkus. Not for me.”
For the second time in a few short minutes, amusement laced a staff member’s voice. “The Fates choose your mate. That’s how it is for Paranormals. The sooner you quit fighting it, the better off you’ll be.”
Chapter
6
T
en minutes of hiking brought him to the forested edge of the pool at the base of the waterfall. Here he was in his element, surrounded by the rustling of the wind through the branches, the rushing water over the rocks and the smells of the pine, oak and cedar. The tension in his muscles faded as though the river washed it away. Here he could breathe and think clearly.
As he filled his lungs with air, he caught another scent. Citrus, soap, and woman.
My woman
. Cassie.
Shut up.
There she was, her skirt hiked up showing a tantalizing view of her creamy thighs and those muscular calves. The sight of her made his knees weak and his breath quicken. His cock swelled against his fly from a flashback of how she’d tightly wrapped her legs around his hips.
She picked her way across stones in the shallow section of the pool just as he’d seen forest faeries do. His breath caught in his throat. What would she think if he told her of the comparison? His heart beat faster and he yearned to tell her. He wouldn’t, of course. Paras kept their world secret from the humans.
Especially the Watchers.
He hated what most humans called his kind. Bigfoot. Native Americans were the only humans who respected and revered his people, considering them “elder brothers.” They were Watchers and always would be, never communing with humans who hunted them. Only the ability to simulate their surroundings and their super senses allowed his kind to exist in mystery alone.
Yet his heart and body longed for this woman who embodied everything good: kindness, spirit, courage, love, passion. How could he properly protect her—as was his assigned duty—with his emotions mucking up his ability to sense danger?
He blended into the woods, engaging his ability to camouflage barely a moment before she glanced in his direction. Had she heard him? Seen him? He’d been careful, choosing just the mossy spots to deaden the sound of his approach.
Had he lost his edge by falling for her? The realization jarred him.
I’m in love with her.
Shit.
What a cluster fuck. How could he ask for another assignment? Telling her the truth was impossible without sharing all his secrets. She was human; she’d never accept him for all that he was.
Damn it
. He’d known the first time he’d seen her dressed in her simple pants, clogs and button-down shirt. How business casual made him hot he didn’t know but he’d been instantly infatuated. Wait—too nice a word. Horny. Needy. Hot for her.
Even the fluid way she moved turned him on. If she’d been wearing a nun’s habit, he’d have wanted to take her against the wall.
Sick, that’s what he was
. Wanting to sink into his charge’s first grade teacher. Sweep all the papers and take her on top of her desk. Or the floor. Anywhere. Invisibly guarding Allen had been so fucking hard. While she’d interacted so sweetly and innocently with those little children, he’d wanted her with an intensity he couldn’t explain or escape. Seven months of watching and desiring her while cloaked during the school day. He was supposed to be guarding Allan, but much of the time the boy stuck so close to her, he’d had no choice but to watch her, too.
Cassidy reached the other side and edged closer to the falls. Mist thrown up by the frothing white water at the base of the falls shrouded the weeping willows and ferns, turning them from green to gray.
Is she humming?
Hard to tell with the roaring of the falls drowning out all other sounds.
Is she going under the water? Fully clothed?
When her back was turned, he edged closer, barely breathing.
She stepped on a narrow ledge behind the waterfall and followed it until she stood behind it. Her image shimmered through the sheet of water as her fingers traced shaped in it. Minutes passed and he grew anxious, fearing what she might do next. Then she stepped off the ledge.
His breath caught as Cassie disappeared beneath the surface. With dread in his heart, he fought the urge to jump in after her. After what felt like a lifetime, she popped to the surface and flipped her hair back from her face.
She’d scared the living shit out of him, and he hated feeling fear.
This situation was untenable. He’d always had the ability to distance himself from his protectee, yet he’d let that little damaged boy into his heart. Look what had happened with that. He’d almost gotten the boy killed. Now his charge was the human woman he needed with every fiber of his being but couldn’t afford to trust. He had to protect his family, his kind.
Still, he couldn’t take his eyes off her. His charge was so damn sexy.
Just look at her, lips glistening, rounded breasts heaving under the bodice now plastered to her body.
What the hell had the chairman been thinking, assigning him to protect her?
His cock throbbed as she climbed from the pool, providing him with a fine view of her ample cleavage. Could he leave her alone and do his job after he’d taken her to bed? He’d have to. The occasional twinge of pain in his leg wouldn’t allow him to forget his failure.
Cassidy wrung out her skirt and hair as she passed him. He froze as she paused near him; her head swiveled as though she heard or saw something. Had he moved? Alerted her to his presence?
Slowly, she moved on, walking along the path back to the Haus with that long legged gait of hers.
Loved. Damn it, he had to stop using that word to describe anything that had to do with Cassie.
He probably should quit calling her by his pet name for her, too. Be more professional—
A gawky man approached Cassie.
What the fuck does he want?
Why is she smiling at him that way? Fuck me, my emotions are all over the place.
He hung back while Cassidy politely disentangled herself from the uninvited hand covering her arm.
He’s not hurting her and she’s leaving
,
so calm the fuck down.
When she entered the lobby, he slid up much closer. He’d have to get in the elevator with her since he couldn’t access it by himself.
Damn those uber cautious siblings. Couldn’t they just do alternating weeks to keep the humans and Paras apart
?
Holding his breath, he silently crept behind her into the lift. He flattened his back against the wall. She stayed near the doors and quickly exited as soon as they opened. He kept pace with her in chameleon mode.
How am I going to get in her room? There’s no way she’s going to leave her door open just in case an invisible man needs to get in
.
To his great relief, she unlocked and threw open the door. He hurried through and took up a spot against the wall in the corner of the room when she dropped her key a good five feet from the entrance.
By all that was holy, he hoped she didn’t undress in front of him. All the blood in his brain was already on its way south from being alone in the same room with her in those clinging wet clothes molded to her curves. He had to keep his wits about him and he couldn’t do that if his brain disengaged due to lack of blood flow.
While taking slow and shallow breaths, he tried to minimize the shimmer that occurred whenever he moved. It could be a dead giveaway to anyone who knew what to look for. Even so, he swore the blood pounding in his veins had to be audible.
Focusing on a spot on the opposite wall—after all he was here as her protector—he couldn’t help but notice her unbuttoning the shirt. He held his breath when she shimmied out of her skirt and let it plop on the floor to form a wet pool at her bare feet. When she reached around to unfasten her soaked bra, he lost control and sucked in a breath. Hell, he barely managed to focus enough to maintain his cloaking.
The lacy bra hit the floor, followed immediately by her matching panties. His pulse raced, his heart thumped, and his blood pounded in his head. To hell with strictly professional, he was outright staring.
Her breasts—so round, so firm, so full—bounced slightly as she glided toward the bed.
Maybe she’s going to take a nap.
Then his mouth dropped open and his heart thudded against his ribs.
She lowered to the edge of the bed, facing him, her legs spread apart slightly. She loosened her hair from its pins and it cascaded down to her shoulders. Her fingers traveled down her neck and stroked her nipples before lightly tweaking the perfect pink peaks.
Oh. My. God.
He closed his eyes, counting first to ten, then all the way to one hundred to keep enough focus on remaining invisible. If she was angry before, she’d be furious he’d sneaked into her room without her permission.
When he’d calmed his nerves enough, he opened his eyes to discover she’d lain back on the bed, one hand stroking the tender skin of her inner thigh.
His inner beast clawed for release. She obviously wanted sexual release. He could give her that and more. Much more.
Duty. Honor. Protect her at all costs.
When her knees fell apart, her fingers lightly stroking her folds, his brain short circuited. He had no idea how she couldn’t see him, because he couldn’t have any functioning brain cells. Her hips rose as first one finger slid inside her core, then another, while the other hand kneaded her breast. A soft moan came from her open lips, and he bit back his own. He fought the urge to slide his hand down to his cock that pulsed impatiently against his fly.
Was she thinking about him? Or maybe that guy from earlier? Jealousy, hot and furious, flooded his veins. He shouldn’t care who she thought about when she masturbated. But he did care and he couldn’t deny the longing for her that surged through him.
After a difficult moment of struggling for control, she surprised him by getting up to turn off the lamp. The lamp on the table right next to him.
Shit! Freeze and don’t breathe.
He became a statue. As she clicked the switch, her breasts jiggled and her perfect ass, so muscular, flexed, nearly pushing him over the edge.
With the light suddenly extinguished, he no longer had the advantage. Closing his eyes to force his vision to adjust more quickly, he almost jumped at the warmth of her fingertips unfastening the buttons on his shirt. He sucked in air like a bellows.
“Trevor,” she whispered between soft kisses as she uncovered his hairy chest, “just like you know my scent, I know yours.”
He hissed as she took one of his nipples between her teeth and gently bit down, soothing afterward with her tongue.
“That show was for me?” he said, his voice gravelly from restrained lust.
He should be irritated and exasperated that she beat him at this own game, that she played him. But hell, her mouth felt so damn good on his skin and his body reminded him that she was made for him. He couldn’t summon anything but lust.
“It was. How did you feel watching me?”
Her mouth traveled to his navel, swirled there then followed the trail of hair to his rock hard shaft. In the darkness, only the rasp of her tongue existed. Her tongue circled the head, licking with broad strokes until she took him into her mouth.
So soft, so damn hot.
Holding back was torture. He strained against jolting forward into her mouth. He was too big for her to take fully, so he remained as still as possible, letting her do what she pleased.
“Well?”
“Huh?”
Her soft chuckle vibrated on his cock, sending a shock of pleasure up his spine.
“Did you like watching me?” she repeated, tracing the vein on the underside of his penis.
“Yeah. Oh yeah, Cassie. You know how much I want you.”
“No.” Her voice was right in front of him. “Show me.”
The cloak vanished along with his control and most of his sanity. Before his brain could reengage and scold him for not performing his duty, he peeled off the already unbuttoned shirt and removed the shorts and boxers. He grabbed her rounded ass and devoured her mouth. She writhed beneath him.
What the hell was she doing? Her plan had been to tease him, to show him she knew who and what he was.
The plan had changed. She should be mad at him for keeping secrets from her, she should be screaming at him, not moaning as his mouth ravaged her breasts. She should, but she wasn’t and she’d think about that after.
He found her core and stroked and filled with first one, then two fingers, providing the rhythm she needed. Yesterday, he’d proven to be a sensitive and giving lover. Today, he proved demanding and masterful. And God help her, she loved every minute of his frenzied attack.
He flicked his tongue and she jerked in electric delight as his fingers plunged bringing her to a fast and furious climax. With her brain total mush, her breathing ragged, she gasped when he drove into her.
“Are you okay?” he asked gruffly.
Okay? She’d never be okay again. Her need for him outweighed all common sense as she lifted her hips in supplication for fulfillment.
“Trevor, please…” Her tone must have satisfied him for he rocked into her again, hard and deep.
Only his feral groans answered her feminine whimpers as he set a relentless pace. Her whimpers turned to deep moans.
Oh, God, she couldn’t take any more pleasure. Surely, she was coming apart.
And then she did, her scream echoing against the walls, an overwhelming relaxation washing through her like lava. All her limbs went numb, heavy, every part of her except that bundle of nerves still excited as Trevor chased his own release.
He tensed, plunging deep into her three more times as he roared. She’d never heard him make such a wild sound but she wasn’t frightened. He collapsed on top of her, trapping her between his perspiration-coated body and the bedspread.
She closed her eyes, exhausted from their frantic coupling. She dragged each breath in then forced it out, her body still full of him. How could she fall in love with someone who was dishonest with her, who didn’t trust her?