Guilt Edged (2 page)

But as I reached regretfully for the basket and the bubble-wrap, she said, ‘Oh, very well. Just ten minutes, maybe.' She looked round for a chair, and plonked herself on it. She rose quickly, because Mrs Walker had placed a teasel on it, a hangover from when she'd worked in Bossingham Hall where they wanted to prevent just such an assault on a valuable item of furniture. Whether it was such a good idea in a shop – we wanted to sell the chair, after all, and a customer might want to see if it was comfortable, or at very least would bear his or her weight – I wasn't so sure.

Leaving Mrs Walker to soothe ruffled feelings, I gathered up – what was the animal called? Puck? – and headed to my work room, to check for flaws under the bright lights I need for restoration work. The glaze was absolutely perfect. Puck had obviously been well looked after. On the off-chance that a restorer as good as me had been at work, I blacked out the room and applied the ultraviolet lamp. No, no signs of repair. Restoring the room to daylight again, I left Puck where he was, basking in the sun, and nipped into the office to see if the Internet could help.

Yes and no. Mrs Thingy was right. White horses of this size in this particular pose were rare, and did fetch six hundred pounds, sometimes more, when perfect. But … but … but …

On impulse, I phoned an old friend of mine, Titus Oates. Ninety-nine per cent of what he sold was spot on. The other one per cent was cunningly forged by people like my father. Griff cordially loathed him; on the other hand, I knew I could trust him to have the latest information about any dodgy deals going – all of which he disapproved of, as it happened. That one per cent apart, he was the most law-abiding man I knew.

‘White Beswick horses?' I asked, getting through first ring. Titus didn't like preliminaries. He didn't like phones at all, actually, but accepted that sometimes there had to be an alternative to a muttered hole-in-corner conversation during an antiques fair.

‘Not your line, doll.'

‘Quite. So why should someone want to sell me one?'

‘What's the old geezer say? Hey? What's up? You still there, doll?'

‘Sorry.' I sniffed, then sobbed, ‘Griff's bad, Titus. Heart. Arteries.'

‘Shit. Heart not good. Arteries not so bad. They can do bypasses. Ask your dad. All that TV he watches, he's an expert.' When I said nothing, he prompted me: ‘Needs an op?'

‘Today,' I sobbed. ‘Oh, Titus, he's in the operating theatre now,' I managed, the words coming out in a rush. ‘Now, this minute.'

‘Jesus, doll, and you're worrying about sodding china nags? Actually, best thing you can do – take your mind off things. This here Beswick. Got a name for the seller? Not like you. Anyway, so much as a sniff it might be dodgy, put them off. I'll talk to people. Right? Let me know how the old man goes, OK?'

He was right. I was in no state to make rational decisions. Missing the chance to make the odd hundred pounds wouldn't ruin our business, but selling anything that wasn't right might well. Griff had spent years building up a reputation for absolute honesty; hadn't he dinned into me that provenance was all? And here I was thinking of going against all the instincts that told me to avoid this item.

Back in my work room, I took photos from every angle and peered closely just once more. No, I couldn't fault it. But that didn't mean there wasn't a fault.

Rewrapping Puck carefully – breaking him now I was about to return him to his owner wouldn't be a good move – I went back to the shop.

‘I hoped I'd be able to speak to the senior partner,' I lied, ‘but he's not available just now.' That was true at least. ‘I'm sorry to disappoint you, but until he's back in the office, I can't make a decision. As you say, six hundred pounds is a lot of money.'

Slightly to my surprise, she stripped the bubble wrap back and peered closely at the animal with narrowed, even hostile, eyes. Presumably, she thought I might have chipped it or worse. Actually, the way my hands were shaking again she had a point. ‘And when will that be?' she asked Mrs Walker – as the boss, no doubt.

Mary stepped forward. Presumably, she'd been able to explain away the teasel. ‘Mr Tripp's going to be tied up for the next few days, Mrs Fielding. Why don't you take our card and phone us before you come back? I'd hate you to have another wasted journey.'

‘There are other antique shops.' As if that was a threat, not a statement.

Mary actually took a step backwards, but then produced a pacifying smile. ‘So there are. But you'll quite understand why Lina – she's only the restorer, you see, Mrs Fielding – can't make such decisions.'

Any other day it would have been an effort to keep my face straight.
Only the restorer!
What with my hands and with my divvy's nose, these days I was actually the major earner in the partnership. Not that that mattered a jot. Griff was the boss.

I didn't wait to hear the rest of the conversation. Usually Mrs Walker – and I! – would have talked up my role in the partnership. Today she'd played the winning card for me and was now milking the situation for every drop of sympathy she could. But if I laughed I knew that I'd quickly succumb to hysterical tears.

‘She's very young, isn't she?' Mrs Fielding observed without waiting for me to get completely out of earshot. ‘Has she just had a row with her boyfriend or something?'

Actually, though I'd not exactly had a row with Morris, my boyfriend, Mrs Fielding wasn't far out. Morris – he only ever used his surname because his first name, Reginald, wasn't exactly cool – had disappeared off the face of the earth. OK. Exaggeration. But despite knowing Griff was ill and that I needed him, he'd not responded to my texts, my phone messages or even my emails.

Perhaps he wouldn't call on the house phone anyway; perhaps he was even now trying my mobile, which I'd put down somewhere. God knows where.

What should I do now? It was as if something huge and heavy – a giant version of those earthenware pots Griff used to force rhubarb – was sitting over me. All I felt was one huge enveloping wordless dread, that Griff might not … that he would … I knew dimly that there were things I should have done – quite urgent things – but couldn't recall what they were, let alone why they might be urgent.

When would it be two o'clock, and I could phone to find how he was?

I wandered back into the shop. The phone rang. I pounced. Just the usual hum to show the line wasn't in use. So it wasn't the phone. It was the shop doorbell. These days we didn't leave the door open, even when Mrs Walker was accompanied by her fiancé, who liked to sit and write poetry in a far corner. Anyone wanting to come in had to wait while we checked that the security cameras had a nice snap before buzzing him or her in. This time it wasn't a customer, but the fiancé himself, Paul Banner. Mary, who said nothing about my strange mistake, gave a little coo of delight at the sight of Paul, hugged him, and swept off. He gave me a hesitant smile and then a tentative hug. Why Griff and I should always call him Paul, while addressing his future wife, whom we'd known for so much longer, more formally, I could never work out. Today my brain didn't even bother to try or to ask why he was here – Tuesday was his golf day, wasn't it? Griff had speculated that golf was a hangover from his accounting days since it didn't seem to sit well with poetry.

Mary returned before we could do much more than agree that the weather was fine, carrying a tray, complete with lace cloth, teapot, cups, saucers and plates. She and Griff were as one in the belief that mugs were an invention of the devil.

‘There,' she declared, ‘green tea just as you like it. Of course you like it, Paul: it's so good for you,' she insisted as he pulled a face. He was really a builder's tea and two sugars man. ‘Scones in my basket there. We've just had such a weird woman – quite gave me the creeps. I really wished you were here – though she'd have thought you were the boss, wouldn't she, Lina?' She didn't bother to explain, but continued, ‘Since you're here, darling, would you mind if Lina and I did girlie things for a few moments? She's been to Paris, remember, and I haven't seen what she bought there. I know it was a working visit, but I can't imagine dear Griff not insisting she bought some clothes. And shoes, if I know Griff – such good taste, Paul!'

‘Good enough to pick out your wedding dress,' Paul agreed, helping himself to a scone. ‘What about you, Lina? Has he organized your bridesmaid's outfit yet?'

I was just about to wail, when Mrs Walker took my arm. ‘No need to worry about that. Pop a scone on your saucer, and we'll go and look at your Paris booty,' she declared, scooping me out of the shop and back into the cottage.

The chic bags still lay haphazardly in a corner of my bedroom, their contents languishing in the tissue Griff had swathed them in before we'd left France. So much had happened, nasty dangerous stuff, since we'd got home, that they'd simply slipped my mind. At least I remembered shoving our dirty clothes in the machine, but I couldn't remember for the life of me if I'd ever switched it on. Probably I hadn't – and Griff would be tutting with frustration if I didn't get the benefit of a lovely drying day. Explaining briefly, I trotted downstairs and set the machine off, only to find that I was clutching Tim the Bear.

By the time I got back, Mrs Walker had transformed my room. Clothes, now on hangers, were festooned from the wardrobe doors, and pairs of shoes nestled like glossy birds in the now lidless boxes. She'd even collapsed and flattened the bags into their original folds.

She was actually stroking one of the dresses. ‘So he did think of the wedding, bless the dear man. Oh, Lina, this colour will go perfectly with the dress he made me buy. Not quite white, not quite cream, not quite grey – oh, it's a gem. Like a pearl, against the opalescent greeny-blues and mauves of mine.' This was delicate Italian painted silk, just right for a lady in her sixties, and she was right: the two outfits would complement each other beautifully.

Actually, though I'd never tell her, Griff had picked out my dress for me to wear for a formal evening in French society, where it had acquitted itself very well amongst all the top of the range gear the other women were wearing. It had gone further: it had reminded me that though I came from what my father mysteriously called the wrong side of the blanket, I was actually an aristocrat's daughter.
Noblesse
had never
obliged
my pa to do anything, such as take an interest in any of his illegitimate children, and no one would pick him out as a lord; indeed, his closest mate was the decidedly shady pleb Titus. But that evening, his daughter carried herself as if she was in the habit of sporting aristocratic ermine. Griff had played a superb supporting role, of course, as dapper and worldly as he knew how.

‘And these shoes, Lina – just the right height for you and for the dress,' Mary was saying. ‘Wonderful colour, a bit more definite than nude. But if the weather's unkind, you'll need a little stole or something – you won't get away with wearing thermal undies under something as sheer as this. Any undies, come to think of it.'

I made my mouth say, ‘I'm sure the sun will shine for you.' And I really hoped it would. For their sake, not mine.

‘But it'll be
autumn
sun … You know, I'm sure a little retro fur stole – better still, a cape – is the answer. You and Griff must know some specialized clothing dealers, Lina, who'd help. Why don't you check through your address book and email a few people? You could always send them a photo of the dress.'

If only she'd stop yapping. I might scream if she didn't. But even as I tried to work out an excuse to get rid of her, it dawned on me that all she was trying to do was to take my mind off Griff. ‘That's a good idea,' I croaked. ‘Let's move the other clothes into the wardrobe so that I can get a good shot of the dress without a lot of clutter.'

Miraculously, the room returned to nice tidy normality, as if Griff hadn't maxed out his credit card on a loving legacy. No, I didn't like that word at all. Not legacy. Gift.

If he didn't pull through, would I ever be able to touch them, let alone wear them?

‘You know,' Mrs Walker declared, head on one side, ‘the best way to give a proper impression of the dress would be for you to be wearing it. But first you'll need to run a comb through your hair, and maybe put on a little make-up. I wonder why Griff calls it slap? It must be his theatrical background. And he's taught you to apply it so well – there, just a bit more lippie, as he will call it. Now, I suggest we put a tea-towel or something over your head so you won't get anything on the fabric when you pull it on. Or do you step in? Of course. Let me just – oh, my goodness – real buttons! I thought they were just for decoration, and there'd be a hidden zip. Good job my hands are warm.' As she talked, she worked her way up my back. ‘It's usually the bride who needs help getting dressed, not the bridesmaid! Promise you'll help me with the make-up, Lina?'

‘Griff'll do that,' I said firmly. But she was right about the cape; even on a day like this I was dithering with cold.

She squeezed my hand. ‘Of course he will.' She turned me round to face the mirror. ‘There. Who wouldn't sell you a fur cape to go with that? Now, where's your mobile? Or your camera? Is that it there? Beside those posh teddy bears? Thanks. Stand a bit straighter. Good. And if you don't feel like smiling, how about looking meaningfully into the distance? No, that makes you look as if you're about to start an aria. Not Wagner, you're much too slender for that. Though they are encouraging opera stars to lose weight and look like normal human beings. Chin down a little? Excellent. And one more?' She showed me what she'd done.

Heavens, she was good with the camera, wasn't she? All this time she'd worked for us, and, always irritated by her constant chatter, I'd never recalled she had talents beyond talking customers into parting with their money. But she had a degree and was a qualified teacher, for heaven's sake. It was just that life had given her a couple of really nasty kicks which had taken away her confidence. It seemed that a combination of working with Griff and the prospect of marrying a really nice guy had brought it back.