BY THE
time Gutter, Danny, and Tears made it back to Torrance Bit was mid-morning. The normally blue California sky was gray and threatening to storm. There was a line of cars parked in front of the house, while homeys were posted on the porch, all waiting to roll to the ceremony for Big Gunn. Among them was Snake Eyes, who had a worried expression his face.
“What's good, homey?” Gutter greeted his longtime friend.
“Yo.” Snake Eyes tossed him a folded newspaper. “Y'all fools made the morning news.”
Gutter flipped the paper open and was shocked to see a picture of the bullet-riddled Drayton home on the front page. The two-page write-up told of how an alleged gang member-drug dealer and his girlfriend were executed in their Compton home, in front of their infant son. Initially, the police believed it was a drug deal gone wrong because they found large quantities of cocaine in the basement, but an unnamed source, who was said to have heavy ties in the gang community, claimed it was a revenge killing. The
young couple was dead when the police got there, but the boy was taken to a local hospital where he was treated for cuts and bruises, and was now in the custody of social services. Gutter didn't need to read anymore, because he'd already seen that movie.
“Police are crawling all over the hood,” Snake Eyes continued. “They already rushed the house on Hoover and came by my office on Central. Malika told them that I was away on family business and couldn't be reached, but she doesn't think they bought it,” he said, thinking of the conversation with Lou-Loc's baby sister, who was home on break from college and working in the law office. “Shit is getting real hot, real fast.”
Gutter shook his head, just before tossing the paper into the trash. “Growing up in the hood,” he quoted. If Gutter noticed the look Snake Eyes was giving him he gave no indication of it. “Where's everybody at?”
“Gutter!”
Lil Gunn yelled, running down the porch steps. He threw his arms around his cousin and squeezed. “I knew you wouldn't let it ride,” he whispered into Gutter's chest.
“That can't be that fool-hearted nephew of mine could it?” Rahshida appeared in the doorway. She was wearing a long black dress, which tickled her ankles and a head covering. “The devil is not welcomed into my brother's house!” she snarled, taking measured steps down the porch. Gutter had seen his aunt angry before, but the fire that burned in her eyes that morning made him take a step back.
“Auntieâ” he began, but a vicious slap cut his words off.
“There is nothing you can say to me right now, Kenyatta, that will calm my rage,” she almost hissed. “Eighteen and twenty, Kenyatta, that's how old they were. Babies with a baby.”
“Auntie, they were enemies,” Gutter whispered.
“Why, because those fools' ass-rags, or because the street signs
say so? Kenyatta, you didn't just kill enemies last night, you killed children ⦠black children.”
“I didn't thinkâ” he began but she cut him off again, this time with words.
“Y'all never do, Kenyatta. I'm from the turf too, so I know full well what this war is about, but it's still bullshit. Since we've been in this country you and my fool-ass brothers have forgotten that this is not how we were raised. Life is the most precious of gifts, but you don't honor it, you abuse and take it. Let a little black girl get killed across the ocean and y'all quiet, but if somebody get killed in the hood and y'all out for blood. Don't any of you fool-ass boys get it? The war y'all are fighting ain't
ours.
” She gestured at everyone assembled.
“Kenyatta”âshe touched his face lovinglyâ“when Gunn is laid to rest, I want you out of California.” Gutter tried to speak, but she raised her hand for silence. “It's not that you're not welcomed here, Ken. This is your home and you know that, but the longer you stay the worse it's gonna get. Y'all killed people while there was a baby in the house. If the Brims don't kill you, the police sure as hell will!”
“I'm a soldier, Rahshida, you know that. For every one of mine they take, I'll take three of theirs.” Gutter wasn't boasting, just stating a fact.
“See, that's the foolishness I'm talking about. Y'all kill them and they kill y'all, it's a never-ending cycle. In less than a week I've lost both of my brothers and almost my faith, because of this thing going on in the streets and I don't want that for you, or Tariq.” She draped her arm around Lil Gunn.
“It ain't, Auntie,” he said.
She tried to smile, but didn't have the strength. “Go home and be the man my brother raised you to be. Be a good father to your
child and a mentor to Tariq. We're all we have left, Ken, the last surviving members of a once proud clan.”
“Rahshida, the limo is ready to go,” Monifa interrupted. Rahshida hugged her nephews and made her way to the black stretch Escalade. Monifa lingered momentarily, casting cold eyes on Gutter.
“What?” he asked, matching her glare.
“Nothing, I'm just trying to figure out where it all went wrong, Gutter?” she told him. “As I stand here looking into your eyes, the eyes that were always so beautiful to me, I find myself wondering where the life has gone? What happened to the boy I used to love?”
“He grew up to become the man that America hates,” he said. His tone was sharp, but not quite hostile. “I've been to the grave and back Monifa and even on the other side we're still niggers. This world ain't got a lot of love for me, and I ain't big on it. Whatever happens happens.”
She shook her head. “That sounds real intelligent for somebody that's about to be a father. What you trying to say, that it don't matter if you're here for your child or not?”
“Girl, you tripping, me blasting on muthafuckas ain't gonna affect my seed. I'm always gonna be around for mine and can't nobody change that,” he said proudly.
“I'm sure Reckless said the same thing before y'all killed him,” she pointed out. “You know, when you used to talk about being a Crip, you did so with such a sense of passion that people couldn't help but to follow you. But as I got older I began to see it for what it was. Gutter, you ain't no great liberator of the Crip movement, you're a killer like the rest of them.”
“You got some fucking nerve, coming out here trying to drop jewels on me, Mo, real talk. Yeah, I'm a killer and I accept that. But how many bodies you got under your belt?”
“I've never killed anybody, Gutter,” she defended herself.
“Is that right?” He raised an eyebrow. “You sitting here tripping off me blasting muthafuckas, but how many of them pistols have you loaded for me?” She was silent so he continued, “So you see, I ain't the only one with blood on their hands.” It was a low blow, but she cast the first stone.
“Fuck you, Gutter, I don't know what I ever saw in you!” she hissed, breaking her promise to herself as the first tears hit her cheeks.
“You saw greatness,” he continued. “You saw a nigga from the ghetto that was determined to make it out of the ghetto, by any means necessary.”
“You're a fraud, Kenyatta Soladine. You let the set corrupt everything we ⦠you used to stand for.” She tried to walk away, but he grabbed her arm. He leaned in so close that she could see spittle flying as he spoke.
“Everybody wanna blame the set for what I've become but what I didn't realize until last night was that the monster has
always
lived here.” He pounded his chest. “Long before I smoked my first enemy, I was a fucking abomination ⦠death is a part of me. Mo, it ain't no secret that I was born into this life, but never forget that this life does
not
define me!”
She broke away from him and took a step back. As she stared at him that loving fire that used to burn between them dwindled to a smolder. If she hadn't been convinced before, she knew then that their era had truly come and gone.
“I gotta go, Rah is waiting for me.” Monifa turned to head for the limo, but his voice gave her pause.
“Will you come say goodbye to me at the airport?” For a minute he thought she was going to stop, but it was only a break in her stride. They had already said their goodbyes and Gutter
knew it, but he just wanted to be sure before he closed his heart off to her.
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FIFTEEN MINUTES
later Gutter had reemerged from the house, trading in his sweatshirt and jeans for a beautiful three-piece, charcoal-gray suit. He could've rode in the limo with his family, but just then he wasn't feeling much like family, he was feeling like a wolf and needed to be among his pack.
“If it's one thing I can say is that you Soladine niggaz clean up pretty nice,” Stacia cracked from the bottom of the porch steps. She was dressed in a tasteful skirt and blazer set, her eyes surprisingly clear.
“I thought you pushed out with the rest of the fam?” Gutter said, hugging her.
“Nah, you know yo peoples is Holy Rollers and I'm trying to smoke a joint before the ceremony. Set it out, I know y'all got that,” she joked.
“Fo sho.” Gutter smiled. For the next few moments Stacia was quiet. He could tell there was something on her mind, but she struggled to find the words. “Sup, Stace?”
“I don't know, man. I'm just thinking about my baby's daddy and how much I'm gonna miss him,” she admitted.
“Shit, you and everybody else in the hood,” Gutter said.
“But not like I will, Kenyatta,” Stacia told him. In all the years Gutter had known her it was the first time she'd ever called him by his government. “Me and your uncle might've fought like cats and dogs, but Big Gunn was my first love. You see this figure”âshe ran her hands down her sides. It wasn't a seductive gesture, more of a visual aidâ“I had to love that muthafucka to let him put a baby in me. But that was a long time ago.”
“My uncle was crazy about you too. Remember how mad he used to get whenever you stepped out with your girls?” Gutter recalled. Stacia had been one of the baddest bitches on the set in her day and Gunn was a nut over her.
“Yeah, he was a fool about this.” Her face brightened. “If a nigga even looked at me too hard, Gunn was ready to go to the pistols.”
“I guess it runs in the family,” Gutter joked. Stacia smiled but her face darkened a bit. “What's really on your mind, Stacia?” he pressed.
“Listen ⦠I'm sorry about what happened to Rahkim. He was a fool, but I still loved him like a brother.”
“Rahkim went out like a warrior,” Gutter said, trying to push the visions of his mercy killing from his head. “It was an honorable death.”
“Honorable? Baby boy, ain't no honor in getting your shit pushed in,” Stacia told him. “Rahkim was just a shade over thirty, with no kids. The only thing to mark his passing will be the mural somebody paints for him in the hood. I can't really see the honor in that.”
“Here we go again with this shit.” Gutter sighed.
“Oh, nah, I ain't wait around to preach to you. Now, I'm sad for that baby having to grow up without his parents, but my baby gotta grow up without one of his. My biggest regret was that it was Reckless y'all killed instead of Major. But I'm sure that problem is gonna work itself out before too long.” She stared at him and he just nodded. “I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank you. Not necessarily for killing them children, but for keeping my child from becoming a murderer. Lord knows if y'all hadn't rode on them busters, Tariq was gonna get ahold of a gun and do something stupid.”
“Come on, Stacia, you know I ain't trying to let Lil Gunn get caught up in this shit,” Gutter assured her.
“I know that, Gutter. You think if I didn't I'd let you take my only child clear across the ocean? Rahshida was down with the game, but her heart wasn't in it like ours. I know how strong the devil's call is, so I understand a little better. Gutter, I know who you are and what you represent, but I also know that you're a good young dude. Tariq needs a strong male figure in his life to save him from what's waiting behind door number two.” She motioned toward the men gathered at Gutter's back. “Gutter, my soul died with Gunn and all I got left is my heart.” She pointed at Lil Gunn. “Just promise me you'll show him a better way.”
“I'll do my best, Stacia,” he said.
“When it comes to mine, your best ain't good enough. I need to know that I'm doing the right thing by letting Tariq go back east with you. If I'm sending my son to join your army then I might as well let him stay here and die with me. I need you to give me your word that you won't let him fall into this hell?”
“On my uncle, Stacia. Lil Gunn ain't gonna get swept up in this bullshit,” Gutter vowed.
“Then it's settled. When you fly back to New York his little ass will be on the plane with you. Remember now, Gutter, you promised to take care of my boy.”