Gypsy in Black: The Romance of Gypsy Travelers (38 page)

Ashamed of himself for displ
aying such emotion, he tried to
blink back the proud tears in hi
s eyes.  He had to be strong, a
father figure.  He had to be the
Rom Baro
. 
“
You will lear
n
different than your mother.  I wil
l not allow you to roam so free
among us.
”
  But deep down, he k
new better.  Surely if he could
not stand firm for Sahara, he wo
uld bend for his own daughter. 
“
You will be a beauty, yes?  With Sahara's coal eyes and hair
? 
Perhaps you will inherit the wild streak, yes?
”
  He laughed to
himself,
feeling
deliriously alive
.  Sahara and I made this tiny,
defenseless creature, he thoug
ht.  Once again,
Nicolae
glanced at
Sahara, satisfied that she was only sleeping.

Still holding Lea in his a
rms,
Nicolae
walked toward the tent
flap.  Kicking it open,
Nicolae
ste
pped outside.  The crowd waited
silently, already aware that the c
hild had been born.  Their eyes
grew larger when they saw
their new
Rom Baro
protectively
cradling the newborn in his massiv
e arms.  Certainly if he could
cradle that baby and protect i
t, he could protect them.  They
waited for
Nicolae
to make the announcement.  Was the baby their
future
Rom Baro
?  Would the chil
d one day lead their children? 
Everyone seemed to hold their breath,
watching the new father
with an anticipated joy that ha
d not been felt since
Emilian
had
been born more than twenty-five years prior.  Slowly,
Nicolae
tore his eyes a
way from his beautiful daughter and stared into the
crowd.  Their eyes met his, waiting and wondering. 

With a smile,
Nicolae
lifted his
chin and spoke,
“
Not only am I
new
Rom Baro
but I am a ne
w father, yes?
”
  Several people
chuckled but most waited sil
ently.  Duda stood to the side,
treasuring the secret for just
a few more seconds. 
“
S'hara is
fine.  My gratitude to Duda.  I m
ust now introduce to you my new
daughter, Lea.
”
  He carefully l
ifted the bundled baby into the
air for everyone to see.  When
Nicolae
lowered the baby again, Duda
stepped forward and took Lea from
him.  He watched her disappear
into the tent. 

Turning back to his people,
Nicolae
raised his arm. 
“
Tonight will be a slava like no other, yes?
”
 

Most of the men cheered, hurrying toward the fires to grab their bottles of rakiya while the musicians began to play their
music.  It
wasn't long before couples danced around the fires, stamping their feet and trilling their tongues.  Empty bottles were smashed into the fires.  The music roared louder, exciting everyone.  The tension from the past few days had lifted.  The mourning party had turned into a celebration as
Nicolae
had promised.  O Del had taken one life but blessed them all with a new one. 




   




Nicolae was almost fifteen when his father encouraged him to wed.  Emilian was furious, knowing that his father still blamed him for Amaya’s disappearance.  “But what about me?” he asked, confronting his father.  “I am the eldest son.  I am the future Rom Baro.  I should wed first!”

The Rom Baro turned a tired eye to look at his son.  It had been a long five years.  He had settled into a plutonic relationship with Duda, the older sister of his deceased wife.  After all, he needed someone to help with his children and to prepare his meals.  But his heart had never healed from the loss of the woman he had loved.  “You scared away your bride, Emilian,” he replied.  “I will not look for another to take her place.”

Emilian glared, his eyes dark and angry.  “She left on her own, that crazy Amaya! She is the one.  She took my bride.  I must be released from that betrothal, Father.  No one will ever marry me until you release me!” 

The Rom Baro laughed.  But there was no joy in the sound.  Instead, it was a pained laughter of one who delighted in having company while in misery.  “Ah, Emilian.  We reap what we sow, my son.  No one will ever say that the Rom Baro did not stand by his word.  Until you learn of her marriage to another or death by the hand of O Del, you will not be released from that promise.” He lowered his voice.  “We suffer the same fate, do we not?  I just must believe that your punishment is worthy
enough
of your crime.”

It was the only time that the Rom Baro had hinted at Emilian’s hand behind Amaya’s disappearance.  For years, he had hidden his emotion behind a mask of stoic solitude.  His son had chased off the woman he loved by mistreating the child-bride.  Now, he was never to wed, a retaliatory plan by his father to punish him for his cruelty.  Emilian stared at his father, his eyes wide with disbelief.  He had recognized the vindictive nature of the man who stood before him.  But now, a
t last, he knew the depth of his father’s
d
espair when Amaya had left.  An old wound that never heals is left to fester in many more ways than one.

The nightly slavas bored Saha
ra.  The entire camp celebrated
from the moment they awoke until night fell.  The music, t
he
dancing, the drinking.  No matter
how hard Sahara tried to sleep
at night, the noise kept he
r awake.  She had spoken to
Nicolae
several times about moving out o
f their new wagon and back into
their old tent, somewhere
further away from the center of
entertainment but he would hear
nothing of it.  The
Rom Baro
's
wagon always stayed where everyon
e could find it, he'd say as he
took Lea from her, cooing ov
er his daughter's beauty or her
smiles.  Frustrated, Sahara
could only watch as her husband
drifted further
away
from her. 

His new position as
Rom Baro
o
ccupied most of his free time. 
Occasionally
, he would round up a
couple men for a day trip to a nearby
town.  They would leave wit
h horses and return with gold. 
Their spirits were always high after these
excursions, raising
Sahara's
curiosity
about what else
happened when they left camp. 
Constantly people came to Sahara a
nd
Nicolae
's wagon, often to settle
disputes between families o
ver what Sahara thought trivial
annoyances.  To her disbelief,
Nicolae
would lea
ve her side to solve
the problems, no matter what time of day or night they had been interrupted. 

During the weeks following
Lea's birth, Sahara had noticed
with mild interest that
Emilian
's hor
se was at the camp more often. 
To her relief,
Emilian
never cam
e to visit her.  Several times,
Sahara caught herself staring in
to the
drunken
crowds of gypsies,
wondering if
Emilian
was out there
with one of the less reputable
gypsy girls.  At other times, Sah
ara wondered if
Nicolae
was finding
happiness with one of those gi
rls, too.  At night, he was too
tired to pay any notice to h
is wife.  On the nights that he
wasn't exhausted, he sat aro
und the campfires, watching the
dancing and drinking until the sun was ready to rise. 

Sahara had grown used to the
loneliness
she felt
in her
heart.  Some evenings, Sahara sat
on the wagon steps, rocking Lea
in her arms while watching t
he gypsies and listening to the
flamboyant music.  No longer
did the music stir her blood. 
Instead, each day, Sahara bega
n to realize with more and more
loathing that she missed
Nicolae
's
attention.  Since Lea had been
born, he had hardly spoken to he
r beyond an occasional question
or order.  She almost hated the
gypsies.  She hated the dancing and
drinking.  But most of all, she felt as though she hated
Nicolae
. 
She sat on the wagon ste
ps, gently rocking Lea back and
forth as she brooded over her
building anger.  The loud music
po
unded in her head, aggravatin
g her more than usual.  Some of
the men, including
Nicolae
, had
left earlier that day.  It hurt
Sahara that
Nicolae
hadn't informed her of his destination or when he would return.  Sahara had straight
ened the wagon, played with the
baby, and walked around the cam
p, waiting anxiously for
Nicolae
to
come home.  As the hours passed, her anxiety turned to anger and
she began to hate him and her lif
e all over again.  Now, the sun
started to set.  Shadows danced
around the camp, almost in time
to the music.  Sahara drifted into
a gaze, watching the shadow of
the wagon shrink in the dying sunlight of yet another day.

“
S'hara!
”

She looked up at the sudde
n sound of her name.  Clutching
Lea closer to her breast, Sahara
met the angry gaze of
Nicolae
as he
approached her. 
“
Nicolae
, when did
you return?
”
  She tried to hide
the sarcasm from her voice but as always, she worried that he
might recognize it. 

What would he do
if he knew how she truly
felt about him?  Would he take L
ea away from her?  Ban her from
the tribe?  These thoughts always
raced through her mind whenever
Nicolae
was angry with her.

“
You chose not to greet the men with the other women, no?
”

With a forced smile and
a feigned innocent blink of the
eyes, Sahara tried to sound rem
orseful. 
“
I hadn't realized it
was so late.  Nor did I
hear the horses return,
Nicolae
.  I
apologize.
”
 

Nicolae
stared down at his wife as she held their da
ughter. 
Perhaps she wasn't a good wif
e, he thought, but no one could
argue that she was a good mother.
His heart warmed as he watched
Sahara rocking Lea.  Indeed, he had been hard on Sahara recently.  His father's death had given him new responsibilities
toward the
kumpania.  His time had been p
reoccupied with other problems,
time he had taken away from his
wife.  He was sure Sahara would
hold that against him, as well as
the six week mahrime placed on
new mothers.  But that was custom, something even he
could do nothing
about. 
“
You are good to our daughter, S'hara.
”

The compliment surprised her.
  It had been a long time since
he had recognized anything about
her beside her faults. 
“
There
is little else for me to do all d
ay.
”
  She hid the bitterness in
her voice.

Nicolae
kneeled in front of
her, reaching up to caress her
cheek.  His touch sent hated chi
lls up her spine.  How long had
it been since he had touched her?
  Paid attention to her?  Eight
months? 
“
S'hara, I was planning on giving this to you in f
ront
of the kumpania but since you we
re not there, I will give it to
you here, alone, yes?
”
  He did
n't wait for her response as he
reached into his pocket and pul
led out a small box. 
“
I bought
this for you.  In a store.
”
He said this proudly as if she
should be impressed it hadn't b
een stolen or cheated away from
its owner. 
“
Open it, S'hara.
”

Her first impulse was to
throw it at him.  She wanted to
yell.  Tell him no present could
make up for the past months of
misery he had put her through.  Instead, s
he sighed and shifted
Lea in her arms so she had a free
hand to take the box from him. 
“
It was thoughtful of you to think of me while you were in town.
”
 

“
I think of you often.
”

She ignored his last comme
nt and opened the box.  It took
all of her self-control not to g
asp.  The gold nugget ring with
the heart shaped diamond centered
in the middle could have taken
her breath away.  Sahara took the
ring out of the box and slid it
on her ring finger.  Unemotiona
lly, she said,
“
It's beautiful,
Nicolae
.
”
  Politely, Sahara leaned
down to kiss
Nicolae
's cheek. 
Nicolae
caught her off guard by gently ta
king a
hold of her shoulders and
kissing her lips.  Then Sahara c
aught
Nicolae
off guard for when he
let go of her, he felt her palm
against his cheek.  Losing his
balance from where he knelt,
Nicolae
f
ell to the ground.  Startled by her
reaction, he questioned her ac
tion with a confused look.  The
fire burned in her eyes. 
“
How d
are you steal a kiss from me!
”
 
She stood up and stomped up the remaining steps into the wagon. 

Still confused,
Nicolae
rubbed hi
s stinging cheek before getting
to his feet.  Cautiously, he follo
wed Sahara into their wagon and
stood in the doorway, watching Sa
hara lay Lea in the crib he had
built for his
first-born
.  When Sa
hara finally turned around,
Nicolae
frowned his disapproval. 
“
Is
it a sin for a man to kiss his
bori?
”

Sahara pulled at the ring
Nicolae
had just given her.  Angrily,
she threw it at him. 
“
Take your
bribe!  No man will win my love
by giving me presents like...like a cheap whore!
”

Catching the expensive gift,
Nicolae
lunged at her.  He wrapped
his arm around her neck as he grabbed her hand. 
“
You will wear
this, S'hara, and
I will hear non
e of your mouth!
”
  His strength
overpowered her anger and the ring was returned to her finger. 

Their scuffle woke Le
a and she stirred in her crib,
beginning to cry at the loud noi
ses.  Sahara momentarily forgot
her argument with
Nicolae
as she brok
e free from his grasp and knelt
by Lea's crib.  Softly, she soot
hed Lea until her crying turned
into heavy breathing as she slep
t.  Covering Lea with the patchwork
blanket
that
Duda had made, Sahara gl
ared at
Nicolae
over her shoulder. 
“
Now are you happy?  You scared her!
”

Mumbling more to himself,
Nicolae
shook his head. 
“
How can you
be such a good mother and such a rotten...
”

“
Rotten what?
”
  Standing i
n front of him, Sahara tried to
keep her voice low so as not to
disturb the baby anymore. 
“
You
ignore me for months because of m
y pregnancy.  Then Lea's born. 
You still ignore me for every
other little problem your damn
gypsies have, day in and day o
ut.  When you do get time to be
with me, you either play with L
ea or sleep.  Is it no wonder I
despise you?  Is it no wonder I lo
athe your touch?
”
  Pushing past
him, Sahara started out the door
. 
“
Don't judge my actions as a
wife until you look at yours as a husband first.
”