Authors: Jennifer Kacey
“Because he couldn’t escape. He couldn’t fix it and he
couldn’t walk away. It was inevitable, you know? Dying. We knew how he was
going to die, only the time clock part of the equation was in question.”
Her fingers traced up his spine and along the width of his
shoulders. “His wings. They belong to you. Like you’re sharing them.”
“At the end he told me he’d watch over me, that he’d always
be near when I needed him.” He lowered his lids. She wrapped her arms around him
and laid her cheek again his back. “God, I miss him. I wish he were still here.
He would have liked you.”
Before he thought better of it, he twisted in her grasp,
held her close and covered her lips with his own. He licked his way into her
mouth and coaxed her to respond. He sucked her tongue until air exploded from
her chest and her entire body trembled in his grasp.
After pulling away, he touched the creamy softness of her
cheek. “My parents were indifferent to me near the end, ignoring me altogether
after he died.”
“But it wasn’t your fault.” Haleigh sounded angry on his
behalf, and that warmed him.
“It wasn’t their fault. I reminded them too much of him.”
To keep his emotions in check he mentally shook himself,
hauling her through the shop. “Okay, no more stalling. The time is here.” He
tugged them both into the side room, where he shut the door after leaving her
standing in front of the chair again. “You’ll be done in a jiffy,” he added and
grabbed things out of the cabinets.
“You don’t need to do that,” Haleigh whispered as she turned
away, unbuttoning her blouse.
“Scared?”
“Not of the piercing.”
Huh?
“Sorry for talking about all that shit. Feel
like a pussy getting all misty about it. It’s old news. I should be over it by
now.”
“No one gets over that. Not if you lose someone you love.
You’ll be eighty and still miss him. You understand feeling lost and being
powerless. Yeah…I get that. I ah…want to show you something.” She let her
blouse and sweater slide off her shoulders, peeling a thin tank top over her
head. Her hair cascaded down her back, letting nothing but tiny strips of skin
peek through. It heated his blood near to boiling, but the undercurrent coming
from her wasn’t arousal. It was fear. She grabbed a fistful of hair and quickly
pulled it over her left shoulder.
“But I’ve seen you. You’re fucking gorgeous.” He stepped up
directly behind her and clenched his fists, trying to rein in his desire. “Bra
off. Put your wrists behind you. Cross them.” She hesitated but finally did as
he’d said. He ached to see wide cuffs on her wrists.
The slopes of her shoulders were perfect, not slightly
hunched over as she had been. Her spine arched just enough to accentuate her
femininity.
God, she was beautiful. Soft.
He caught the undercurrent of this being a very big deal.
Here they stood, both naked from the waist up, and he’d
never been more sexed for a woman in his entire thirty-four years. A mirror
stood in front of them but he refused to ruin the surprise. ”Face me,” he said
through gritted teeth, knowing he was going to quickly lose his control and
take everything she would let him have and more.
He watched her draw in a breath and hold it. She pivoted
toward him. Her gaze never strayed higher than his collarbones. His cock
strained closer to her. Chill bumps raced across her skin, beading her pierced
nipple, puckering the tight pink flesh around the turgid tip, making his mouth
salivate to lick her again.
Then he focused on her other breast.
Beneath her veil of hair he could tell something wasn’t
right. He brushed her blonde tresses over her shoulder, baring her to him. She
tried to hunch again. He latched onto her crossed wrists behind her, forcing
her to stand straight and proud.
He brought a hand up to her breast. A whimpering noise in
her throat sounded like glass breaking in his head. It reminded him of a
wounded animal, and he ached for her. She tried to step away but he followed
her, tugging her closer until there was no mistaking the impression of his cock
pressing against her stomach. He looked up at her, but she remained focused on
his chest.
He cupped her left breast—which would never have a piercing
to match the other.
Scars marred the flesh of her breast, trailing along her
torso above and below. Her nipple was gone. A reddened line stood in its place.
She never would have been able to have two piercings. Why she paid for both
made him mad. Whatever reason she didn’t think she could be honest pissed him
off. The underlying reason he’d guessed immediately upon seeing her scar broke
his heart.
He glanced up at her again. Less than a foot separated them
and she was terrified of him. Like he would say something stupid or ridicule
her.
“Haleigh”, he barked. She snapped to attention. “I told you.
When we’re together you aren’t to take your eyes from me.”
“Yes, Sir,” she whispered. He thumbed away a tear slipping
down her cheek. She shook like a leaf blowing in the wind and it made him grit
his teeth. Getting pissed off at what she’d been through wouldn’t help the
situation.
He palmed her cheek, kissing her softly. It wasn’t a kiss to
sex her up; it was an oath, which he didn’t want to read too much into.
He stared at her, locking gazes as he towered over her.
Protecting her.
“What the fuck happened?”
“Breast cancer.”
It was the answer he expected but hearing her say it nearly
drove him to his knees.
“Inflammatory breast cancer. I was diagnosed when I was
twenty-one. I’m cancer-free now. That’s what they say, but it never goes away.
It’s always there. The worry. Eating at me. All it takes is one cell getting
past the chemo and the radiation.” She lowered her lids. Lost somewhere he
couldn’t guess where to find her.
“But you’re still here. You made it.”
She looked up at him with dewy lashes. “But at what cost?
I’ll never be…perfect again.”
“Who the fuck cares about being perfect?”
“My mother. My father. All they talk about is fixing the
scars. Changing me once again into the girl I was before. But lately… I
earned
each scar.” She shrugged while he thumbed away more tears. “If they were all
gone and I couldn’t see them, touch them. Who would I be? All my parents care
about is finding a ‘nice man’ for me to marry.”
“Isn’t that what most parents want for their daughters?”
“I don’t want a nice man. I don’t want a mannequin who talks
about the office and golfing and mundane BS that doesn’t matter. I want what
you and Kyle have. Love. Passion. Umm…sex. Finding someone to love is a nice
dream but that’s not their motive. Pretty sure they don’t want to deal with me
anymore.”
“I’m sure that’s not true. Haleigh, they—”
“They shipped me off to MD Anderson in Houston four days
after I was diagnosed. Alone. Mother came to visit a few times, my father once,
but it never went well. They paid for everything. Nurses, an apartment, the
treatment, the surgeries, but the one thing I needed was them. Someone familiar
to care for me. Talk to me. But fighting cancer’s dirty, and it wasn’t
something they could deal with.”
Anger surged in his veins, making him want to punch a wall.
“Doing what they want, being who they want me to be… I can’t
do it anymore. Having cancer changed me. I deserve to be happy.”
“Fuck yeah you do.” They remained silent for a minute. “What
will make you happy?”
“I don’t know yet but I’m trying to figure it out.” She
swallowed, staring at him. “I’ve been researching BDSM online and I’ve got some
questions.”
“Researching online… What? Through porn sites, right? You
can’t research this on paper. Talking about it will only get you so far. You
have to feel it. Live it. It’s the only way you’ll know if this kind of lifestyle
is for you.” Before he could talk himself out of it, he twisted her around,
squeezing her wrists. “Hands on the table. Look at the wall.”
She relaxed her arms, seeing their reflection in the mirror
directly in front of them. For the longest time she stared at her chest, then
up to him again, before placing her palms on the soft leather. She waited
patiently for him, never taking her gaze from him in the reflective surface.
He palmed her breast with no nipple, feeling the
unmistakable globe of an implant. None of his questions could dig past the lump
of emotion clogging his throat, but she picked them out of his head.
“Full mastectomy, thirteen lymph nodes removed and
reconstruction three years later. They tried to make a new nipple but my immune
system was so compromised, and the surgery was probably rushed because Mother
decided it was time. The nipple didn’t take, so I had to have another surgery
to remove it and simply close the wound. Mother wanted to try again. I met with
a surgeon this week, the day after I saw you guys at CJ’s. But I’ve finally had
enough. It’s partly why I came to see you. To get my life back.
My
life.
Not someone else’s approximation of it.”
His cock had never been so hard for a woman before. She was
a fucking warrior but he felt as if he needed to be gentle with her. He softly
caressed her side.
“Don’t,” she growled.
He stilled, questioning the vibe skating up his spine. Maybe
it was one-sided…
“You and Kyle are the only ones who haven’t treated me like
glass. Literally years’ worth of people tiptoeing past ‘the poor sick girl’.I want to live, and love and enjoy life. I have no idea what’s going to
happen in the future, but I’m tired of settling and holding my breath, waiting
for the other shoe to drop.”
Her words freed the horrible images suffocating his head. He
unbuttoned her pants and stuffed his hand between her soft tummy and panties.
She was wet and hot, and he let a groan rumble out, filling the space they
shared. He petted her silky folds, making her whimper, and rubbed his dick
against her ass. “Good. Don’t ever settle. Find the real you. The world
deserves to meet her. Not someone else’s estimate of your potential.”
He dragged the pads of his fingers along the slippery cleft
at the apex of her thighs, pinching her clit at the top. She shuddered beneath
him, twitching her hips against him. He fought the urge to yank her pants down,
to bury his throbbing shaft into her hot depths.
He left a thin trail of wetness up her stomach before
jerking her zipper up again. He tossed her clothes and shirt to her, which she
quickly clutched to her chest. Her face belied every emotion. Confusion,
arousal, uncertainty. He wanted to reassure her but he wasn’t a
hearts-and-flowers kind of guy.
“Put it on. All but the bra.” He picked up the phone,
dialing Kyle’s number with shaky hands. “Fifteen minutes. Library. Playroom.”
He hung up on him before he could utter a single word. He crowded Haleigh,
tilting her off balance. She clutched at his biceps, digging her nails in, but
she was close to tears again. He saw red. All the people who hurt her. He
wanted to gut each one of them.
“I want to fuck you, Haleigh. I want to climb so far into
your sweet cunt that I don’t see light for days. If I know Kyle at all, he’s
going to take your virginity like there’s a rain check burning a hole in his
pocket. Tell me right now if that’s not what you want or you’ve got about ten
seconds to get your clothes on. As soon as I stop counting, I’m hauling you out
of here bare-breasted for all to see, and I will beat the shit out of anyone
who looks at you funny.”
“I’m not ready to show Kyle yet. Promise me. Promise me
you’ll let me show him only if I’m ready.”
An honest-to-God growl erupted from him. “You’ve got to tell
him quickly. No secrets, remember? Don’t push me on this.” Who knew he had a
chivalrous streak?
She got all misty again, but this time with a smile, and she
surprised him. She kissed him. It was a simple press of her lips to his, but it
was one he’d remember for the rest of his life.
Emotion squeezed his vocal cords. He swallowed, clearing his
throat, taking a second to find his man card again.
“Thank fuck I already put the request for you to be granted
guest status at The Library. I want you there for the first time. Surrounded by
those walls. It’ll just be the three of us, but there are cameras everywhere,
protecting the members and the club itself. So be sure.”
“I’m sure,” she said as he thumbed away one last tear.
“All right. Ten, nine…”
She scrambled to get her clothes on, giggling once when she
stumbled and he had to catch her. To her credit, she was ready by the count of
two. He rearranged his steel-hard dick, grinding his teeth at the indention of
zipper teeth against his shaft. He jerked his t-shirt on, more than likely
inside out, but it didn’t matter. He grabbed her hand and hauled her out of the
room.
He had to keep this just about sex. It’d be hot for however
long it lasted, and that would be it.
Kyle and Haleigh would make a sexy couple. Pangs of being
left behind bounced around inside him, but he stuffed them out of sight.
He’d been alone before.
He could do it again.
He had to remember that.
Kyle sat on his knees in the playroom with his arms behind
his back, wrists crossed but unbound. The door creaked open. All of the hair on
his body prickled with the last vestiges of his unease. He still worried about
what Haleigh would think of him submitting to Scott. His cock couldn’t be
bothered though, swelling behind his black leather pants. Since he faced away
as they entered, anticipation clawed up the muscles of his spine, urging him to
turn and face them.
He heard Scott telling her something as they came closer,
but only heard pieces of phrases that confused the hell out of him.
“Understanding…you’re beautiful and brave…we all have
scars…”
Huh?
Even before she entered his peripheral vision he could smell
her. Apples and cinnamon. His mouth watered at the promise of tasting her as
she stepped around his side.
His focus never wavered from directly ahead. Kyle knew what
Scott expected of their relationship and the time they spent together. He sent
up a little prayer, full of hope, he could concentrate well enough to do Scott
proud. That hope got flushed down the drain. Haleigh stopped a few feet in
front of him. Her hair was draped over her shoulders, covering a soft white
shirt he wanted to tear in two.
Her fingers twisted together and he hated seeing her
nervous. He did a quick sweep of her body with only his eyes. He ached to see a
collar on her neck, matching his own.
Well, damn, where had that thought come from? This was
supposed to be about sex. Just sex.
Wasn’t it?
He hazarded a glance up to her face and saw that she wasn’t
looking at him at all. She was staring behind him toward Scott for…
reassurance
?
“Shirt,” Scott called out. He moved next to Kyle and waited.
She hesitated, finally slipping the buttons free. It slid
from her shoulders and Scott took it from her outstretched palm. A clingy black
tank hugged her body like a lover, making his fingers twitch to remove it.
“She’s still in street clothes?” Kyle didn’t mean to ask,
but all of sudden he realized he’d never seen a sub enter a playroom in street
clothes before.
Scott snorted. “Jenna nearly took my head off when I
wouldn’t let her take her upstairs to play.”
“Was she the pretty brunette in the corset?” Haleigh asked
with a shaky voice.
“That’s her. She normally gets all the subs ready for their
scenes, or anytime at the request of their Doms.”
Kyle eyed her, wondering how she would react to Jenna’s
attention.
“Pants,” Scott bit out.
Her hands shook as she removed them, and she quickly stood
in nothing but a silky black cami and lavender panties. Scott attached cuffs to
her wrists, checking the fit. Kyle outright stared, unable to help himself.
The gap between her legs made his mouth water, and stripping
off the rest of her clothes became mission one. Licking her up the middle
followed quickly on the heels of the first.
“Kyle’s trained not to need them. The other night
notwithstanding, they’re purely for decoration.”
“What happened the other night? Why did you need them,
Kyle?”
Silence expanded all around them. Heat crept up his torso
and he knew he was blushing. Thankful for dim lighting was an understatement.
“Don’t be shy, Kyle. Tell the pretty lady why I had to restrain
you and why you got punished…several times, in one evening.”
He cleared his throat, and fought the urge to rearrange his
cock. “I didn’t follow instructions very well and—”
“Actually you went after my dick when I didn’t tell you to.
You forgot where your baby blues belonged at least twice. Not to mention
belittling yourself for liking being on your knees for me. Plus, you came
without permission as I fucked your ass after marking it with a flogger.”
Haleigh exhaled on a sigh, making a tiny “O” with her lips.
Kyle looked up at her flushed face, wanting to lick inside her mouth.
“I want to see that sometime. You two, together.”
“Princess,” Scott whispered. “You’ll get your chance. I’ll
make sure of it.” He stepped behind her, running his fingers across the
inch-wide slit of bare flesh separating her cami and panties. “Do you see how
thick Kyle’s cock is for you? His thighs are twitching and I bet it’s all he
can do to stay on his knees before us. He’s being so good. Don’t you think we
should give him a bit of a treat?”
“Yes, Sir,” Haleigh answered, staring at Kyle’s hard-on,
which kicked beneath her intense gaze.
“I know what he’d like…”
She shivered but didn’t stop Scott when he hooked his thumbs
in the top of her sexy panties. Kyle expected Scott to take off her top first
but that reasoning ground to a resounding halt. Her pretty pussy came into
view, flipping some kind of internal switch in his head.
He remembered wanting to be with her all those years ago.
Aching for her, too afraid to mess up the friendship they had. Those feelings
were nothing compared to what squeezed his chest as she finally stood almost
bare before him.
He only thought the gap at the top of her legs was erotic.
Her, naked, with a tiny fuzz of hair shielding her delicate clit… It made him
want to howl. He’d never been aroused by a female before. This was simply
because it was Haleigh. It made no sense, but at the same time, it made all the
sense in the world.
His dick throbbed and he gritted his teeth against an
impending explosion. If he so much as touched it, the thing would go off like a
thirteen-year-old locked in the bathroom with a skin mag for the first time.
This absolutely counted as a first time, no doubt.
“Wrists together in front of you, Haleigh. You’re going to
need a lot of training before you’re ready for no cuffs.”
“Why do I have to be restrained?” she asked as Scott latched
her wrists together.
“Because I like it.”
Kyle watched her eyes flare at Scott’s words, and Scott
ground his dick against her naked ass.
Her folds glistened with moisture and his mouth watered in
anticipation of tasting her.
“I want you in the position I explained earlier.” She tried
to sidestep him to kneel beside Kyle, but he hauled her back. “Right here. If I
wanted you somewhere else, I would have told you.”
“Sorry.” Scott cleared his throat. “Sir,” whispered out of
her sweet lips, and Kyle locked his thighs together to keep from leaning
forward to take a taste.
“No more stalling.”
She stared at the floor and must have come to some kind of decision
because she lowered herself to the rug onto one knee, and then the other. Her
spine was ramrod straight the entire time, even while she sank onto her ankles
and spread her knees wide apart. Kyle never stopped looking at her face as she
lowered her body in front of him. He couldn’t stop the clenching and
unclenching of his hands, grinding his teeth. He’d truly never seen someone so
beautiful before.
“Amazing, isn’t she?”
Kyle forgot how to speak. His brain shut off. Her tiny clit
peeked from beneath her unshaven folds. “She’s an angel.”
My angel
, he
finished in his own head. She was mostly naked in front of him for the first
time, and he damn sure hoped it wasn’t the last.
She was without a doubt the most beautiful thing he’d ever
seen in his life and it humbled him to witness her submission.
“You think I’m beautiful?” she whispered.
He hadn’t realized he’d spoken out loud.
“He said you were the most beautiful, princess,” Scott
amended, but she continued to glare at the space on the floor between them.
Scott moved behind her again, lifting her cami.
Haleigh whined like she was in pain, shrinking against
Scott’s legs. “I will not reveal your second breast. That is yours to uncover
just as I promised, but I want him to see the rest of you. You’re stunning,
Haleigh, head to toe. He should be able to see the woman he’s about to claim.”
Scott lifted the soft clingy material until the excess
bunched beneath the mounds of her tits. He peeled the strap off her right
shoulder, tugging the material down, revealing half of her chest, but it was
hidden behind her hair.
One plump handful was nice but he wanted two for twice the
price.
Kyle suddenly focused past her loveliness. Her eyes weren’t
simply downcast, but closed. Her small body quaked as she shook uncontrollably,
and her breathing had become shallow.
“Release her, Scott. She doesn’t want this. She’s terrified.
I never should have agreed to this.” He looked up into his lover’s face and saw
what…determination?
What the hell?
“If you want to fuck her so badly, Scott…do it… I’ll leave
and she can be with you.” Kyle knew he would do anything for her, even give up
having her if that would make her happy. She was so different than he
remembered, while still being the same. Sadness and fear rushed out of her.
She’d fled the bar the other night before they really got to speak about what
she’d been up to since he’d walked away. He regretted spending all the time at
CJ’s going on about his issues.
He saw her shoulders hunch a bit further. He bit out, “She’s
not comfortable with me here.”
Scott moved so quickly Kyle merely blinked and he was in his
face. Scott had yanked his head up sharply by his hair.
He growled low, “And if you’d stop talking long enough to
listen to anything other than your own insecurities, you might learn something.
Things aren’t always as they seem. Haleigh wants this, she’s nervous, just like
you were two years ago when I started training you. She wants this from us,
both of us, and she wants to give you something she’s never given anyone, but
she needs to talk to you first. There are a few things that need to be cleared
up.”
“But—”
“Shut up, Kyle.” Scott cursed, claiming his mouth in a fiery
kiss. Too soon it was over. Scott nipped his bottom lip, licking the sting away
before releasing his hair. He approached Haleigh, tilting her chin up, and Kyle
was struck again with something being utterly wrong as abject fear washed over
her face.
“All of it.”
“But—”
Scott placed his fingertip gently across the seam of her
mouth. “All of it. He deserves the why’s of it, even if you’re not ready for
the show and tell. Give us both a little faith here.”
Scott kissed her. Kyle moaned low in his chest. The rumble
of excitement pounded through his veins, and he couldn’t decide what was more
thrilling, seeing Scott possess her or knowing later it would be his turn. Her
sweet mouth opened tentatively, allowing Scott to sweep inside. He explored her
mouth for the briefest of kisses.
He kept his wrists crossed behind him, clasping one hand
around the other to keep from grabbing them. Scott’s erection pushed against
the leather of his pants and Kyle ached to untie them to free his cock from its
confines. With his other hand he would burrow inside Haleigh’s sweet pussy. He
ached to make her come.
“Kyle, no touching. Not until I say you can. No more hiding,
Haleigh.” In a calculated move Kyle was sure to test his ability to focus and
follow the rules, Scott swept her hair off her shoulder. Kyle could only
imagine how it must feel like silk as he watched it filter through Scott’s
fingers.
Her creamy skin, high nipple,
oh fuck
, and the
piercing made the top of his dick throb.
She was exquisite. His limbs tingled like they did when he
was in subspace.
She stared at Scott as he stepped away and he squeezed
Kyle’s shoulder as he walked by.
What the fuck
? he wondered not for the
first time as the playroom door opened and closed. His gaze never strayed from
her face.
“What’s going on? What is he talking about not hiding?”
She remained quiet, staring at the door. She exhaled. Her
lips trembled, her mouth forming silent words. He couldn’t make anything out
past the blood rushing in his ears. It sounded like the ocean was beside them.
He scooted closer until one of his thighs sat between hers
and the other bracketed one of her knees. “What, baby? What did you say?” Kyle
tilted her chin up since it had dipped closer to her sternum again. Scott said
no touching, but he couldn’t help himself. Then he saw her tears. “All you have
to do is tell me you don’t want this…that you don’t want to be here. Or tell me
what you want and I’ll make it happen. If all you want is Scott and you don’t
want to be with me, I’ll—”
“Oh, Kyle. It’s not that,” she pleaded. “I want you so bad I
can’t think. I ache to touch you, for your mouth to be on my skin. For you to
be inside me and for me to give a piece of myself to you. You’re the only one
I’ve wanted to give it to. Scott’s running a close second though,” she tried to
joke but he wasn’t fooled.
He palmed her cheek and she nestled her face against his palm.
“If you want this, and you want me, and Scott, why do you look so petrified?
And don’t try to deny it. I still know you better than that.”
“I’m only scared you won’t want me anymore after you see
me.”
“But I am seeing you, Butterfly. You were beautiful in high
school. I’ll forever remember you that last summer but you were still a girl.
Now? God, Haleigh. You’re a woman and all grown up and I want nothing more than
to be buried inside you for the next week. And I love the piercing too, by the
way. It’s very naughty, and I like naughty. It suits you. Did you let Scott do
the other one?” He reached for her cami to pull it down.
She stiffened, scrambling backward until she landed flat on
her back. Kyle trapped her under the weight of his tall frame, hovering over
her. She clutched her cuffed wrists over her chest, shielding herself from him.
“Okay, baby. Breathe for me. Just breathe.” He petted her
shoulders and face until her inhales matched his own.
Words exploded out of her mouth and he had to concentrate to
keep up. “I got really sick with the flu a few weeks after I turned twenty-one.
Fever, chills, achy. When I started to feel better I had this rash on my left
breast. Like a bug bite, but it kept spreading. Went to the doctor. I’d already
worried it was cancer but the only form it could be was so rare they said the
chances of that happening were slim to none. They ran some tests and told me
they’d call me with the results.