Authors: Emily Porterfield
Abby
spent about an hour sitting at the edge of the water, watching the light waves
ripple past, absorbing and internalizing the peace of her surroundings.
Philadelphia was so much faster paced than Winchester Bay. When she first
arrived, she thought the town to be quaint, strange and backwards. But now she
reveled in its charm. It was nice to not feel pressured, not worry about
traffic or care about the latest restaurant of choice. All of those things
didn't really matter, especially when compared to water tickling her bare toes.
She sighed contentedly, as she once again considered
heading back to the boat. But the idea of not seeing Craig at least one last
time, and not wanting to disappoint Chloe, kept her exactly where she was.
By
the time she walked back to the lighthouse, it was a few minutes after four,
the sun hanging much lower in the sky. Abby spotted a picnic table with a
red-and-white checked tablecloth, and
a large
picnic basket with two wine glasses beside it. She thought it a little strange,
as she didn’t see anyone when she looked around. There was no sign of Craig or
Chloe.
Where are they?
She sighed, then decided to sit down at the
picnic table and wait.
Craig
stepped out of the parking lot and walked around the side of the lighthouse. When
he spotted Abby at the picnic table, his heart leaped into his throat and
stayed there. He wondered what he should say to her, what she might say to him.
He walked up behind her and spoke in his easy tone.
"Some
picnic you’ve put together. Thank you!" He paused beside the table. Abby
looked up at him with surprise, a hint of relief showing in her expression.
"What do you mean?" She was puzzled by his words. "Chloe invited
me here. Didn't you put this picnic together?"
Before
he had a chance to answer, music started playing from behind a tree, startling
both of them. A violinist appeared from where he had obviously been hiding.
When he stepped out from behind the tree, Craig recognized him right away as
the music teacher from Chloe's school. Craig shook his head and wiped his hands
across his face to try to hide his embarrassment. As the musician continued to
play, Abby stood up from the picnic table, fascinated by his talent. It was
amazing to hear such lovely music in an unexpected but beautiful setting.
Craig moved a little closer to her as they listened. When his fingers brushed
the back of her hand, she did not pull hers away. Instead, she allowed him to intertwine
their fingers. When the music stopped, the violinist bowed deeply, cast a wink
in Craig's direction and then strolled off through the parking lot, as though
serenading a surprise picnic was something he did every day
.
Craig wondered how many people were involved in
setting this up. He was sure Paul had a hand in it.
"Oh,
Abby," Craig said awkwardly, as he continued to hold her hand. "I
think we've been set up."
Abby
glanced at him, her own cheeks burning as she nodded slowly. "I think
you're right."
Craig grimaced as he slipped his hand from hers. “I'm sorry. I'm sure you came
for Chloe -”
“No,”
she said quickly and took his hand back into hers, closing both of her hands
over his. “Craig, I came to talk to you, too. I need to tell you something.”
Her heart began to race as she wondered how he would react to the news she was
leaving. A part of her wanted him to be fine with it, to understand. But a
larger part of her wanted him to demand she stay.
How deep are his feelings?
“I
have some things I need to say to you, as well.” Craig replied in a gentle but
secretive tone. “Will you take a walk with me?”
“Sure.”
Abby nodded and tightened her grasp on his hand. She did not want to let him
go, not just yet. Craig led her toward the lighthouse.
“Have
you been up to the top yet?” he asked glancing her way.
“No,”
Abby shook her head. “I wasn't sure if it was open to the public.”
Craig
smiled. His eyes flickered with delight. “Well, it isn't. But being a volunteer
park ranger has its perks.” He cleared his throat as he reached into his pocket
and retrieved the key to the lighthouse door. “Actually, it only has one,” he
laughed, “and this is it.” He pushed the door open and allowed Abby to step
inside first. Abby led the way up the winding stairs. With each step she
climbed, Craig's presence stirred her excitement. She felt like she was back in
high school, sneaking off with a boy she had a crush on.
When they reached the top of the lighthouse, she was in awe. Her thoughts were
silenced by the beauty of the view. She could barely take a breath. The sky and
the water merged to create such a beautiful horizon. Then she felt Craig's
hands settle along her waist, sliding forward to wrap around her. She closed
her eyes as a wave of warmth washed over her, and leaned back into him. She
felt lovely in his arms, as if she was more beautiful reflected in his eyes.
“Craig,
I need to say something-” Abby forced herself to begin a conversation very
little of her wanted to have.
“No,”
he countered, knowing he might be pushing her too quickly, but willing to take
the chance. “Please, let me tell you something first.”
Abby agreed hesitantly, nodding as she turned to face him. The anxiety in his
expression set her own nerves on edge, as she wondered what he had to say.
“Look,
Abby, I know maybe the kiss at the dunes frightened you. But I... ” he met her
eyes. She hoped he might sweep in and kiss her again, but he continued to speak
instead. “I need you to know I’m falling in love with you.” He frowned when she
cringed and glanced away. “I'm not trying to force you into anything,” he
assured her. “I want you to know-”
“I'm
leaving tonight,” she blurted out, before he could even finish his sentence.
“What?”
He asked with surprise, taking a step back and releasing her from his arms.
“I
think it's time I went back,” she said nervously, staring hard at the wooden
slats on the floor.
“Abby,” Craig, at a loss, swept his hand through his hair. He wanted to tell
her she couldn't go, that she had to stay, but he had no right.
“I
think I need to face the past... you know... confront these people who are
saying things about me—”
“Abby,”
he interrupted, struggling to meet her eyes, “are you telling me you don't have
any feelings for me?” It was a bold question, but Craig had never shied from
those.
Abby dropped her head while she bit into her bottom lip wishing she could avoid
the awkward moment unfolding before her. She focused on her breathing, and then
slowly raised her eyes to his. The moment her gaze met his, she was lost in it.
How could she lie to him?
“Craig, I'm trying to tell you I'm not sure whether these feelings are fair,”
she said quietly.
“Fair?”
he repeated as if he could not comprehend the use of the word. “Fair to whom?”
“To
you,” she replied softly.
“So,
you think it is fair to take off without seeing this through, but not fair to
admit how you really feel?” His voice raised an octave at the absurdity of the
question. It made him think she did not have the same affection for him.
“It's not as simple as that,” she protested and started to step past him. He
grabbed her loosely around the waist, drawing her back toward him.
“Wait
a minute. Just talk to me,” he pleaded. He dreamed of the moment he would
confess how he truly felt about her. He never imagined her responding by
stating her intent was to go back to Philadelphia. “What isn’t simple about it?
You either have feelings for me, or you don't.” Abby pushed away from him
briefly.
“Craig...
you lost your wife and survived it. You have a family, a community that loves
you, a sweet, adorable, enchanting daughter, and you’re stable. Me? I’ve gone
through hell, still have nightmares, don’t know what’s left of my career, and
can’t bet on tomorrow. I haven’t a clue what will happen from one minute to the
next, or where my life’s going. And
you
want a relationship with
me
?
That’s what is not fair, Craig. I’m a mess and the furthest thing from stable.
Remember, I escaped the nut house. I can't make you any promises about today,
let alone the future. I haven’t a clue what it will hold.”
Abby took a breath before plaintively asking, “Are you sure that’s what you
want? For Chloe?”
He
tightened his grasp on her waist as he studied her with open adoration. “I’m
not asking for promises,” he said softly, his gaze melting into her eyes. “I’m
just asking for a chance, and the truth.” He smiled a little when he saw the
blush rising in her cheeks. “Can you really tell me you don't feel the same
way?”
Abby felt the heat rising in her cheeks and knew her blush had given her away.
Closing her eyes, she took a breath of courage before trying once more, “Craig,
I can't trust how I feel right now. It's all a jumble.”
“Is
it?” he inquired, and she felt his lips nearing hers. She didn't answer, and
didn’t open her eyes. She didn't dare breathe. She wanted only for him to cross
the distance remaining between their lips and kiss her. His lips hovered so
close, but they did not touch.
“Is
it?” he asked again in a whisper.
“No,”
she replied, her voice trembling. She wanted so much to taste him. Her lips
betrayed her, seeking his. The kiss which began subtly and sweetly became
intensely passionate. Deeply passionate. She was lost in the moment and wanted
more. Her mind, her body, her soul yearned to become one with Craig’s. She
melted into his being and her soul surrendered. As she was drifting into that
dimension of sensory overload, the specter of fear reared its head and made her
pull back.
"The
picnic!" Abby reminded him breathlessly. It was not that she was hungry,
or worried the food would spoil. Nor was she concerned Paul and Chloe's effort
would go to waste. She needed to get away from his arms, wrapped so snugly
around her. From the desire burning inside her. She was being drawn into
something she had purposefully planned to avoid. Craig was coaxing her into
admitting how deeply she had come to care for him, something she was not yet
ready to declare.
* * *
"Oh...
the picnic," he replied as he brushed her hair back over her shoulder.
"Let's get back to it." He took her hand and led her back down the
lighthouse stairs. He opened the door at the bottom, and they strolled across
the grass towards the picnic table. The sun was very low in the sky, casting a
soft glow across everything it touched, especially the water.
Abby
could not believe how much the scenery had changed in so little time. Both in
the bay, and in her heart. Never, in her wildest imagination, would she have
believed taking her uncle's advice to come to Winchester Bay would forever
alter her path.
Craig
poured them both a glass of wine as she got comfortable at the picnic table. He
offered her a glass and held up his own.
"To
us," he said and took a long swallow. Abby took a sip of her wine and
smiled as he sat down beside her. The picnic basket included peanut butter and
jelly sandwiches, and cookies.
"I
guess she thought the ice cream would melt," he laughed and shook his
head.
"She
was right." Abby grinned and took another sip of her wine
.
Her mind was still whirling with everything that
was happening. She had no idea whether she should change her mind about
leaving. It was clear Craig believed his feelings were genuine. She kept
telling herself she should know better.
As
they ate, they talked about Paul and Chloe, and how sweet it was they had done
this for them.
"She
really likes you," Craig reminded Abby. Abby smiled and gazed out across
the water. Her profile framed by the setting sun was too beautiful for Craig to
resist. He reached up and lightly caressed her cheek, his fingertips tickling
the side of her neck.
Abby’s
laughter filled the air as they shared the last glass of wine. To Craig, the
way her eyes sparkled was intoxicating. He suddenly grew serious, and reached
for her hand. Her laughter faded, leaving only the sound of water gently
breaking against sand.
“What
is it?” she asked. Craig stood, drawing her up as well. He led her to the small
fence which separated the lighthouse from the water. After beholding the setting
sun a few long heartbeats, he turned to look directly at Abby.