Authors: Ava Argent
Things can't stay this right for long.
But I want to believe that it can. Mom and Dad have been together for more than 30 years. That counts for something, right?
I don't know. I don't know much of anything right now, to be honest.
He notices my quiet and does one of those “M'anu” things—he sits up straight and rubs his face against mine. Cat affection. And dammit, it actually makes me feel better. I rub back, just to test it out, and I'm rewarded with a purr.
“
Shower,” he reminds me.
“
Yep,. I smell. Thanks for the heads up.”
“
I am a conscientious mate,” he declares proudly.
I pause. “A conscientious what?”
“
Mate.”
He's nothing talking about friends.
Chapter Nine
The female is in a tizzy again. I cannot decide if I am vexed or entertained.
It would be easier to decide if she were speaking. At the moment she paces back and forth across the room. Every once in a while she gesticulates wildly, either slapping herself in the forehead or throwing her hands in the air. I suspect she is having a conversation with herself, and I find that I am slightly put out by her exclusion of me.
On the other hand, her human mannerisms are very animated. I sit on my chair, dressed, and occupy myself with imagining what she is saying to herself. I thought her turn in the shower would set her mind to rights, but that was not the case. I will have to make a note that allowing the female too much time to think is ill advised.
I turn my head to follow her return route.
She suddenly halts. “That was the conclusion you reached. That we're going to be mates.”
I hum.
She stares at me for a moment, eyes wide, then returns to her pacing as abruptly as she ceased it.
The Agmoiria does seem to have trouble assimilating new information quickly. I cast a speculative glance at the cage, still attached to the wall with its piece missing, and then at the door I was forced to uninstall soon after her arrival. She is far from unintelligent. Perhaps it is only in certain situations that her agile mind falters.
As if on cue, she stops again and puts her hands to her face. “I'm drawing a blank here. What am I supposed to say to you right now? Yes, I'll be your mate, thanks for asking, drive me in your white ship off into the sunset?”
I blink, slowly. Something in her tone suggests she is not inclined to say such. “Tell me, female. Where exactly do you experience a problem in our circumstances?”
She turns her head to a nearly impossible angle, her mouth gaping open. “You did not just say that.”
I frown. Clearly I did.
“
You know, if I were watching this all play out I'd say this had Dumb Heroine written all over it. I mean, not being able to read the signs that were clearly there? That's stupid. Except
there were no signs
! You were acting a bit weird, yes, and then you came into—” She pauses. “And then you...” She trails off, going pale. “Oh my god, there
were
signs. I
am
the Dumb Heroine!”
She deflates against the wall, sliding down until she reaches the floor. There she buries her face in her hands, knees drawn up.
Should I go to her?
No. Best let her work this out at her own pace. Any interference from me might confuse the matters further.
Almost as soon as that thought finishes the Agmoiria's head pops up. “Okay, so I'm an idiot for not seeing the obvious, but that still doesn't explain how you made the leap from kidnap victim to mate. Steamy hot sex aside, there's no reason to believe we'd suit.”
“
We suit,” I affirm with total certainty.
“
You're going to have to clue me in here, M'anu, because I'm not seeing it.”
I raise a brow.
She grimaces. “Not that I don't like you. I do. A lot. A lot more than I should,” she adds almost to herself. She rises to her knees and uses forward momentum to bring herself over to me, effectively placing herself between my legs. “But we haven't known each other for more than a couple dozen hours.” She lays a hand on my thigh that I'm certain she means to establish emotional connection.
Interesting. “Is time relevant to human relationships?”
That earns me a wry smile. “Yes. We have this cautionary tale called
Romeo and Juliet
. It basically says that rushing into anything is a really bad idea. This is considered a rush.”
I sit forward in the chair, elbows propped on my knees. I lower my chin to meet her gaze. “You said yes.”
“
We had sex,” she corrects.
I hum again.
“
When you do that, it's because you either think it's unnecessary to answer or you have no clue what you should say.”
“
You are coming to know me well, Agmoiria.”
“
Observational skills do not a permanent union make.”
Does she not know how enticing she is, looking up at me from her current position? I give in to my urge, reaching up and tracing a finger over her speckled cheek.
Brown eyes turn imploring. “Can you not see where I'm coming from, M'anu? Really, truly not get why I'm freaking out?”
She looks to me for understanding. That strange warmth returns to my chest. She appears genuinely bemused, my poor little Agmoiria. She does not have the certainty that I have. I briefly wonder if I should be offended at this, but then I remember she is half-human. Her instincts are not as fine tuned as that of a Ferissian female.
I cup her cheeks with both hands and stroke the sides. “You will see,” I assure her. “Ferissians are rarely wrong in these instances.”
She laughs a little, but does not pull away from my touch. “Rarely isn't the same as never, you big lug.” She leans into my palms, soft and defenseless. “You don't know anything about me.”
“
I know enough.”
“
Yeah right. You've never seen me during my period, or when things aren't going my way, or when I'm mad at the world for no reason at all. If my mom is any indication, I'll age well, but my hair is going to get very thin and I might lose a lot of it. Betty already has, but don't tell her I said that. I take forever in the bathroom and I'm not good with criticism. You live in space and you may or may not kidnap people for a living. Let me tell you—that does not scream 'catch' to me. And stop sniffing me. I'm being serious here.”
I open my eyes and stop inhaling the scent of her hair, leaning back enough to meet her gaze again. “Your head is nicely shaped. Baldness will suit you.” Though I will miss running my hands through her tresses, I do not see it as a reasonable blockade to our mating.
She sighs deeply. “You seriously do not have a clue why that matters to me, do you.”
I rub a finger behind her ear, observing her reaction. I feel her pulse beneath, beating a steady tattoo, though slightly faster than normal. She is alarmed, but it is controlled. That is good.
She squeezes my leg. Hard enough to elicit a grunt. “No more distractions. Explain this to me, M'anu. Talk to me. Don't make decisions and expect me to follow them, because it won't work. You have to communicate.” Her lips twist. “Something you have problems with, I might add.”
I release her face and sit back with a shrug. “I have already communicated. I find you a very fine female and wish to have you for my own. I am a good, strong male with means and method to protect you. It is a good arrangement.”
She slaps my thighs. Why, I do not know. “There has to be more to it than that, M'anu!”
My eyes narrow. Irritation is finally edging its way into my calm. Have I not made things perfectly clear? “There
is
nothing else,” I stress.
She stands, hands balled into fists and propped on her hips. “So that's it. You listed all of my qualifications and weaknesses, decided you could live with them, and now propose to spend the rest of your life with me. Is that the gist of this conversation?”
At last
. “Yes.”
“
And now I just sit back, because the future is taken care of.”
She made the leap considerably faster than I expected. Relief floods me. “Now you understand.”
The Agmoiria snorts. “Oh, I understand. I just sure as hell don't agree.”
I still. Look at her as my mood begins to darken. “What do you mean?”
“
Just what I said. I don't agree. Not that you asked.” She jerks a thumb at her own chest. “My future belongs to me, not you. I get to decide. And I decide no.”
That is not acceptable. My jaw tightens.
“
You know, if Ferissians had half the clue that they claim they do, Feruz wouldn't be trailing after Betty the way he is and we could still be in bed having fun. It takes more than a mental checklist and hot sex to make two people mates, at least in my book.”
I rise from my seat abruptly. She startles but does not back away.
xxxxx
“
You agreed.” He barely moves his mouth to talk, the words hissing over his teeth. His eyes are burning into me.
He sounds almost accusing, and I don't like it one bit. “How can you agree to something you haven't been asked? Huh? Tell me that. You took my assent to have sex with you and blew it way out of proportion!”
He roars, making me jump. “Do not assign your fear to me!”
Holy cow. He's yelling at me.
Wait. He's yelling at me? The hell? “Watch your tone, buddy,” I snap back. “You either discuss this in a reasonable volume or I'm walking away until you calm down.”
His eyes widen just a bit, and I get the feeling shit is about to hit the turbo engine. “Are you threatening me?” he asks in a dangerously soft voice.
Dammit. It's the alpha male mentality again. I can't talk to this guy like a human. I rein in my annoyance and strive for a measured voice as I say, “I am telling you that I won't be hollered at. We have a problem. We should be able to talk about it, not scream it.” I tilt my head. “Are we in agreement?” I almost strangle on the words.
His chin raises as he considers me with icy eyes. After a long minute there's a tiny relax in the way he holds his shoulders. “Agreed,” he says at last.
“
Alright.” I lick my lips. “And I'll try to present my grievances better.” I came out swinging; that's no way to handle this any more so than shouting is.
His eyebrow twitches at the word 'grievances'. It must grate on him that they even exist.
“
I've been careful my entire life.” God, this is a lot harder than I thought it would be. Finding the right words that would fix this, because I
want
it to be fixed, just won't appear. No amazing movie-
type speech. So I have to ramble. “I have a plan for a plan for a plan. More than twenty-five years of keeping secrets and having outs scattered everywhere. There is
no plan
for what you want. No hidey holes. No switch to flip when things are not going right.”
He stares at me, stone-faced. I can't read a single thing that's going on in his head. That's the first time that's happened since we met. I feel cold and stupid and alone. I scratch my eyebrow to hide how uncomfortable and ill at ease I am. “You just want me to close my eyes and jump in,” I say quietly. “What's worse is that you didn't even ask. You decided, just like Feruz decided with Betty. No negotiating, no compromising, only what you want.” When I finish talking, I wait for him to respond. He doesn't.
“
Why don't you tell me what you think of what I said?” I prompt.
His lip curls. “You are afraid and you are running. I find that disappointing.”
Boy, that's like a shot in the gut. He just...wow, he got me where it hurts and he wasn't even trying. If he'd flat out called me a coward, I would have taken that better. Maybe even found a defense for it. The problem is that I can't defend against emotions, only actions.
I turn my head, swallowing to hide the lump in my throat. “I'm not going to deny that I'm afraid, but I'm not running away. I'm here, talking to you, trying to find a compromise.” I suck in a breath, gathering my courage. “M'anu, I like you.”
He stills.
That's not what I was hoping for. God, I'm nervous. “I like you a lot,” I forge on. I've told him that already, but it bears repeating. “I...may even feel a lot more for you. I want to see where this goes between us. I just want to be able to do it at a slower pace. I want to be with you, but not as your mate yet.” If ever. You never know how these things will pan out.
He doesn't soften. Not one iota. I think the air around him gets colder, which I wasn't aware was possible. “See where it goes?” he repeats, enunciating each word carefully.
I nod mutely.
His eyes turn flat. “Let us not lie to each other, Agmoiria. What you want is the option to retreat whenever you desire. I expected more from the daughter of Moiria Jenner.”
What the— “Who do you think taught us to act this way?” I burst out, offended to my core. “Do you think pirates just go charging in willy nilly and survive? Hell no! Zarek's dumb ass was an exception. Real pirates look for the right angles and they always have a backup plan in case things go south. And the fact that you aren't giving me credit for
not
running and
trying
to meet you in the middle is total bullshit.”
I just can't even believe he's shooting me down like this. Worse, he's trying to make it out as if I am some kind of chicken-hearted weenie!
Which is not exactly untrue, but cut a girl a little slack here. It's a lot to take in, and what's wrong with caution, huh? Nothing, that's what. Nobody ever said,
“You know, if he hadn't been so cautious, he would never have died doing that motorcross expo.”