Hannah Howell (15 page)

“Drink it,
chica.
It is good for you."

Sitting up more comfortably, Antonie picked up the cup and gingerly tasted its contents. “Not bad. Tea?"

"Sí.
With herbs."

“It is medicine?"

“A little. It will soothe you and help you sleep. I gave some to Patricia."

“She needed a lot of soothing?"

"Sí,
the poor
chica.
You are right. She does not understand. She does not think we lie, but she thinks us wrong. Maybe a part of her believes, but it does not want to. She is so young and she loves. She thinks all should be happy."

“Do you think she really loves?"

"Sí.
And you. Do you love?"

“It does not matter."

“He will not believe you."

“No. I looked him in the eye and I said, ‘Oro is not my lover’ but he doesn't hear me."

“And so you leave him."

“I could not be with a man who thinks I am a liar."

"Sí.
There must be a, how they say it?, a line drawn. With some women it is that he must not stray."

Antonie smiled weakly. “I would not stand for that either. That is why I can understand his not wanting to share. I could not share. He will not believe me, though, when I say I am not with Oro. He believes only what he sees, and that is not really proof for he has not seen me in bed with Oro. If I say I have not been there, he should believe me. I do not lie."

“Ah, well, he is angry. Maybe when the anger cools he will see clearer and he will listen."

“Maybe. We will see. I will not return to him while he is thinking I lie. I ask for little from him, but there should be trust.” She handed Maria the now empty cup. “Thank you. It was good and I think I do feel a little better, that I can get some sleep."

Maria paused at the door, sighed, and looked back at Antonie. “I thought to wait, but maybe I'd better tell you now. It will be said in the morning and you can be prepared. Patricia wants to go on the drive."

"Dios.
They will not let her. Will they?"

Shrugging, Maria replied, “After the ranch was attacked, they might agree with her that she is as safe with them as she is here. She is going to feed the
patrón's
words back at him. He has told her many times that she should learn more about the running of a rancho, of the raising and the selling of the cattle. I could not talk her out of this.
Buenas noches,
Antonie."

"Buenas noches,
Maria,” Antonie replied distractedly. When she had gone, Antonie rose from bed to wash up and undress.

If Patricia went along on the drive, it would mean that the game would have to be played for every long mile on the trail. Antonie felt a strong urge to scream. She was not sure she could keep up the pretense for so long.

There was always the chance that her brothers would stand firm against Patricia's plea. Antonie decided she could put her mind to better use thinking up arguments to counteract Patricia's than in fretting over the consequences of the girl joining the drive. Even if she had no chance to intercede in the family argument that was certain to result when Patricia made her suggestion, Antonie felt sure she could get her ideas across to at least one of the brothers. She could only hope that she could come up with a few good ones.

She was honest enough to admit that it was neither Oro nor Patricia nor what was between them that really troubled her. With Patricia left behind at the ranch, Antonie had hoped to be done with the game she and Oro played. Without that going on she felt sure Royal would soon come to see reason, to believe her assertion that she and Oro were not lovers. If Patricia did join the drive, forcing her to stay close to Oro every step of the way, there would be no chance of such a reconciliation.

Crawling into bed, Antonie fought the urge to indulge in another bout of tears. She was hurt and instead of having more time to be with Royal, it was over. She wished she could just leave, but her promise to Juan and her strong sense of duty held her firm. Somehow she was going to have to endure the long months ahead being close to Royal, yet apart from him.

Slowly closing her eyes, Antonie realized that Maria's potion really did soothe her and despite her pain and worries, she was going to sleep. As she gave in to its strong pull, she wondered wryly if Maria had a potion to cure lovesickness.

“Well? What do you think of cattle drives?” Cole asked as he rode up beside Antonie.

“Hot. Boring. Dusty. Itchy. Uncomfortable. Dirty. Smelly. Boring."

“You already said boring, Toni,” he pointed out with a grin.

“It is twice boring. Maybe even three times boring. It is five times dirty and dusty."

He laughed and shook his head. “Don't I know it! Still, I'm glad I came along even if there weren't the trouble we've been having. Hasn't been much so far. ‘Bout twenty head gone, one man wounded and one dead. We're making damn good time, too."

"Sí,
but,” she looked at the horizon, “he is out there. I can feel him, smell him."

“Mendez?"

"Sí.
Mendez. He nips at our heels like a bothersome dog. It is true that not much has happened, but we push hard because we know he is out there. We watch more because we know he is watching. We grow tired. Soon. Soon, I think. He will strike."

“Aha. He tries to wear us down so that we'll be easy prey."

Antonie nodded. “He prefers his prey weaker than he is so he can be sure to win. He likes to pick the ground and the time. He will come and we must try to be ready."

“Maybe you should go home. You've done enough. It's not your ranch or your herd."

“I promised Juan that I would see that Royal keeps his land, that the debt is paid. Juan knew it was Mendez, and so I think I was also promising that I would see an end to that pig."

“An old hate?"

“Very old. They come from the same village. Mendez raped and killed Juan's sister. That was just before Juan found me."

“You think he was thinking of her when he took you?"

“I did once, but he said no.” She grinned. “He said his sister was fat, dark, and very obedient."

Cole laughed. “No, you wouldn't remind anyone of a girl like that.” He frowned, growing serious. “Do you really think he meant for you to end Mendez's career?"

“His life.
Sí,
I think he did. I will have no choice anyway. Raoul wants me dead, I think."

“You sure are carrying around a pack of troubles. And, speaking of troubles, what's between you and Royal?"

“Nothing."

“Nothing don't have him growling like a bear with a sore paw or sending black looks at folks. Thought you were going to tell him there was nothing between you and Oro."

“I did. He did not believe me."

“So you left him. Well, left his bed anyway."

"Sí.
I left his bed and I will stay gone until he sees that I am no liar."

“Now, Antonie..."

“No. Do not talk about it. I will not stay with a man who thinks I lie."

“Well, I'm not sure I'm willing to leave it at that, but I reckon I'll have to for now ‘cause here he comes."

Antonie moved away from Cole's side and rode toward Patricia. More often than not the girl was sullen company, but it was less painful to quarrel with her than it was to quarrel with Royal. It was cowardly to simply try to avoid Royal but, after being subjected to his cutting remarks several times in the past five weeks, Antonie decided she preferred cowardice.

“You chased her off again,” Cole remarked when Royal reached his side.

Royal briefly glared at Cole, then at the departing Antonie. “She doesn't run from anything."

“Runs from you, brother. Maybe she flees all those compliments you fling at her head lately."

“Oh, shut up."

“Look, Royal, your private life's your business—"

“Exactly. My own business."

“Except when it's making things tough for everyone else."

“And just how the hell am I doing that?"

“In a lot of ways and I think you see them clear enough. The thing is that Antonie and the twins came here of their own free will to give us a hand. We owe them Justin's and Patricia's lives. Owe them Patricia's life twice over, because Antonie and Tomás were guarding the ranch that day. We owe them for saving the ranch that day, too. Our men are good but they're just cowhands, not soldiers, not gunmen. Antonie can outdraw and outshoot most every one of them. We need them and they've done good by us. For thanks, you hand her sarcasm.

“Now, any fool can see things aren't right ‘tween you and Toni. Oro's mixed up in it somewhere, too. Either get it sorted out or leave it be. We're fighting for our lives here and these personal problems seem mighty small next to that,” Cole finished tartly, then rode away.

Cursing viciously and continually, Royal decided to ride ahead of the herd. Only Tomás was wandering that far ahead and Royal doubted he would even catch a glimpse of him. He needed to be alone for just a while.

Cole was right. He had to push his personal problems into the background. Everything their father had built was at stake. It was a poor time to let some female tie him up in knots and distract him.

That, however, was easier decided than done. He ached for her. Every time Oro touched Antonie, even in the most casual way, it made him see red. The only good he could find in the whole mess was that the pair could not be lovers now. There was no privacy and no real chance for them to find any.

He gave a short, harsh laugh as he stared at the water they would soon camp by. It was probably for the best that he and Antonie were estranged. Royal doubted that he would be in any better a mood if he had to spend night after night for weeks with Antonie, yet not make love to her. He would undoubtedly grow reckless, try to find a private place, and get them both into trouble. It was not safe to get separated from the others. Raoul Mendez was out there somewhere waiting for any stray—human or bovine.

For a moment, he was distracted from his own troubles. He studied the land around him but saw nothing. Still, Royal could feel Mendez's presence. Mendez's boss had to be paying him very well to get him to leave the proximity of the Mexican border. With each mile that Mendez trailed them, he made his escape even more improbable.

“But who the hell is paying the bastard?"

“If we knew that, this trouble would be over, eh?” Whirling to look at Tomás who was just reining in at his side, Royal shouted, “Creeping up on a man like that's a good way to get shot!"

“You always look first."

“I do?"

"Sí.
Sometimes you look even before you draw your gun. Like now."

“I'm not so sure that's a good thing."

“Maybe not out here, but in most places it is good. I look, too, but only when I am ready to shoot. Then the time lost in being sure the threat is real is very small. For me, it has usually been a threat, a big one, eh? It is a hard line to stay to though. I almost shot a priest once."

Tomás said it so sweetly, almost cheerfully, that Royal was surprised into laughing. “I'd think you'd be real careful not to hurt one of those."

"Sí,
that is what the priest said, especially since I was sneaking out of the convent school at the time."

Still laughing, Royal said, “I think you are just a little bit crazy,
amigo."

"Sí,
just a little. I think it is a good thing to be."

“You may just be right."

“Maybe. I came here to tell you that I have found a place where the ladies may wash in privacy tonight."

“That's fine, but is it also safe?"

“Come, see for yourself."

When Antonie saw Royal approach her after they had camped for the night, she inwardly groaned. There was no place for her to slip away to, no way she could avoid him without looking embarrassingly obvious. As he neared her, she decided that this time she would not let his nasty little remarks either anger or hurt her.

“Antonie, Tomás found a secluded niche where you and Patricia could have a bath if you're of a mind to."

She almost gaped at him. His voice was pleasant and there was no sign of the simmering anger that had seemed to have become a permanent part of him. It took her a full minute to realize what he had said.

“A bath?” she squeaked as she leapt to her feet.

“Yes, a bath."

“A full bath? Clothes off, soap and all?"

“Well, a cold one."

"Por Dios,
who is caring?” She dashed off to get Patricia.

Royal almost smiled as he watched her run off. When she was acting so totally female, he felt confident with her. She was like all the other women he had ever known. It was usually a short-lived feeling, however. There was no question in his mind that Antonie was fully and undoubtedly a woman, but she had some twists and turns he had never encountered before, quirks that could leave him floundering, wondering just how to move or what to say.

He shook that thought away when Antonie and Patricia hurried up to him, their arms full of clean clothes and bathing necessities. The look on their faces made him smile. It was especially nice to see Patricia in good spirits. Since she had insisted on coming on the drive he had had little sympathy with her moodiness, but it was good to see her happy for a change.

“You wouldn't dare tease us about such a thing, would you, Royal?” his sister asked.

“No, Patricia,” he replied. “I wouldn't tease you about it. Come on, I'll show you the place."

“Tomás found it?” Antonie asked as she fell into step at Royal's side.

“While he was scouting the area he came across it. It'll give you two some privacy but still be guarded."

“You're standing guard?” Patricia frowned in concern when they paused before a straggling collection of scrub pine and bushes.

“Yes, Pattie. Go on, right through those bushes.” He gently nudged his sister forward.

When they were gone, Royal leaned up against a tree and kept watch. He had contemplated handing the chore over to someone else, for it was going to be hard to stand there knowing that Antonie was only a few feet away, shedding her clothes and washing her lithe body. However, Justin and Cole were already bedded down resting up for the midnight watch, and he knew that Patricia would not feel comfortable with anyone else. He grimaced and admitted to himself that he would not have felt very comfortable letting somebody else stand so close to an unclothed Antonie. It was not going to be easy, but he was just going to have to grit his teeth and try not to think too much about what Antonie was doing behind those bushes. If he did, he would be useless as a guard.