Hannah's Remission (Amish Romance) (Amish Circle Series Book 1) (2 page)

The curtains were drawn across the window but a little light still filtered in around the edges. Hannah lay quietly in bed, a wet washcloth laid across her forehead. She faintly remembered her mother and a neighbour woman helping her up the stairs. Emma always made sure that she had someone waiting for them when they returned from a treatment. She was never sure how weak Hannah would be and Emma always worried that she would not be able to handle Hannah on her own.  Hannah hated the fact that the neighbours saw her like that. She worried that when they saw her that all they would remember was her, sweaty, pale and nauseous instead of the strong, capable girl that she wanted to be.

Emma was standing beside the bed looking down at Hannah. She followed every rise and fall of her chest, always worried that each breath would be Hannah’s last. She was beginning to relax ever so slightly, ever since the doctor had said that an end might have been in sight but she still couldn’t help but hover over Hannah, praying silently that
Gott
would see fit to make her well again. She had struggled to discern a possible plan that He might have had for her
dochtah
but no matter how hard she tried, any possible plan seemed unfathomable to Emma.

“Hannah,
dochtah
, please wake up. We have an appointment to speak with your doctor and we have to get up and get ready. Are you feeling any better?” Emma reached out and gently touched Hannah on the shoulder. She saw her
dochtah
move slightly and mumble something that she could not quite make out. “Hannah, please, we have to get going soon. The taxi will be here soon and you know how long it takes us to get from here to the doctor’s office. You know I worry about making the doctor wait if we are late.”

Hannah opened her eyes and looked at her mother. She knew her
maemm
wouldn’t be disturbing her if it wasn’t important but she just felt so tired. The last treatment at the hospital had really drawn a lot out of her and she didn’t want to move if she could possibly avoid it. The nausea and vomiting had ended but she had been sick to her stomach more than normal and it had sapped her energy. Her mouth felt dry and painful and she felt like her very bones ached.

“
Ach, Maemm
, give me five more minutes please?” Hannah looked up at her mother and saw the look on Emma’s face that meant she wasn’t going to give in like she normally did. Her mother shook her head and Hannah sighed deeply.

“Alright,
Maemm
, I’m getting up. Please hand me a fresh dress? This one is all sweaty and I don’t want to be seen out in it. Please?” Emma walked over to a chair and picked up the neatly folded dress that had been set on it. She brought it over to Hannah’s bed, unbuttoning the back as she walked. Once she handed the dress to Hannah she poured water into the washbasin from the pitcher and soaked a washcloth then handed it to Hannah so that her
dochtah
could wipe her face and mouth.

A few minutes later, Hannah and Emma were sitting downstairs in the kitchen. They were waiting for the Amish taxi to pick them up. Emma was hovering over Hannah and trying to get her to eat a piece of dry toast and drink a cup of juice. Hannah felt her stomach twitching and grumbling and shook her head “no”.

“
Maemm
,
nee.
I don’t think I could keep anything down if I ate it and I’m so tired of throwing things up. Maybe the doctor can give me something that will make me hungry but I just can’t handle eating anything right now.” Emma sighed and looked sad. She always found it upsetting when Hannah wouldn’t eat. She was already so thin and her mother worried about what would happen if she lost any more weight. She was just about to try and convince Hannah to eat when she heard the taxi pull into the yard.

The trip to the doctor’s office was quiet. Hannah was too tired to talk much and Emma was lost in her own thoughts. The taxi driver had been quiet after asking for the address that they were going to and Hannah could see the driver trying not to stare at her in the mirror. It made her feel sad and self-conscious.

They were called in to see the doctor fairly quickly. When they were shown into his office, her doctor was sitting behind his desk looking over a piece of paper. He looked up and smiled at Hannah, then grabbed another copy of the same paper and pushed it across the desk at Hannah and Emma.

“I have
wonderbaar
news, Mrs. Sutter. Hannah’s last set of blood values came back and things look very promising. Her blood cell counts have really normalized. That means that the number of cancerous cells in her blood stream are much lower and the number of healthy cells is much, much higher than before. I don’t want to speak prematurely but if things continue to improve the way they have it is likely that she will only need a few more treatments and then she may actually enter into remission.”

“
Ach
, praise be to
Gott
,” exclaimed Emma. “Hannah! Hannah! Just think! The doctor thinks that soon you will be healthy again and then no more treatments! Oh doctor, that is
wunderbarr
indeed!” Emma reached over and grabbed Hannah’s hand and squeezed it. Hannah looked at her mother and smiled weakly. She wanted to be excited but she just didn’t have it in her. Not today.

“Hannah, I know that this has been very hard on you,” said the doctor. “You have been incredibly brave. I know that the last few treatments have been worse than others but we wanted to be a bit more aggressive and I think it’s paying off. I think that we can lower the dose which should make your next few treatments much less hard on your body. It should mean less vomiting and less fatigue.” He looked at her compassionately. “Just give us a little while longer, Hannah. Please?”

Hannah nodded. At this point, she was willing to agree to just about anything. All she wanted was to get out of the office and back to her home. All she wanted was to go back to bed, shut out the world, and sleep until she wasn’t tired any longer. She was so sick and tired of the appointments, the long car trips, the nausea and the fatigue.

Luke walked into the kitchen with an armload of wood. His parents were still using a wood stove to cook even though he had offered to help them get a natural gas model. He had been away working in Ohio and had returned with money in his pocket. His original plan had been to purchase a plot of land and build his home there but he had enough in hand now to help his parents pay for a natural gas stove. His parents had both declined though and, out of respect, he hadn’t pushed them about the issue. His father was content to use some powered equipment in the barn but preferred to keep it out of the
haus
whenever possible.

“
Ach
, she was so weak when she came home from her last treatment. I’m glad I was there to help Emma get her upstairs. Usually another neighbour helps them out but she was off visiting a relative and I had no idea that she was that weak after one of her treatments.” Luke’s mother was speaking to his father but he wasn’t sure who they were discussing. He had been gone for a little while and felt a bit out of touch with what had been happening in his home community.

“Who’s ill,
Maemm
? I heard you and
Daedd
talking about someone. Who’s sick?” His mother and father exchanged glances and his mother hesitated. Luke sensed that their hesitation about telling him had less to do with their not wanting to gossip than for other reasons. “Who is it,
Maemm
?”

“Well, Luke, it’s Hannah Sutter. She took ill about a month after you left. It’s leukemia. Blood cancer, her mother says. But she’s been taking treatments and seems to be getting better. I know that you and Hannah were close Luke and I’m sorry I didn’t mention it when we spoke. But I guess you’re back now and should know what’s been happening here.”

Luke felt his jaw drop when his mother told him Hannah had been ill. He remembered how they had been inseparable when they were growing up. There had been a group of them that had hung around together and he remembered that Hannah had seemed particularly close with the girls in the group but there had been many times when the boys and the girls had spent some fun evenings together. He particularly remembered many Sunday evenings when they had all sung together and chatted after
Ordnung
was finished.

“
Maemm, Daedd
, I’d like to go and see her if you’d allow it. I know there’s some work to be done out in the barn but I won’t be long. Please? I’ve been gone so long and I’d like the chance to say hello and just let her know that I am back in the area. Please?” His parents exchanged looks and were silent for a little while. Then, Luke’s father let out a deep sigh and nodded his head.

“Here, Luke, bring the Sutters this caramel pie. I was going to serve it at supper but when the Sutters get back from the doctor it’s usually later in the day and they usually don’t have the energy or the interest in cooking a meal. This should be nice and filling and maybe it will even tempt Hannah to eat.
Gott
knows that girl is thin these days and could use something filling.”

Luke’s mother walked over to one of the counters and wrapped a towel around a glass pie plate that contained a beautiful gooey caramel pie. His mother was as well-known for the delicious flaky pastry that she made as she was for the delicious fillings that were found in any of her pies. Luke knew how hard she worked on each one and was pleased that his mother had offered to send one to the Sutters when he went to pay his respects.

“
Ach,
but Luke, I’m just serving up lunch. Would you stay and eat and then head over? You got your work done this morning and so you have time this afternoon but I’ve made you some lunch and I’d like you to eat it.” His mother bustled about the kitchen putting together a plate of lunch. “I think they should still be there and so waiting an hour isn’t going to hurt at all.”

Luke opened his mouth to protest but when he saw the determined look on his mother’s face he knew it was no use. It wasn’t that she disliked Hannah. On the contrary, his mother approved of both Hannah and Emma and was quite impressed with the way they had managed to persevere even though life had thrown a few obstacles in their way.  Lunch was simply more important and anything else, at this point, could just wait until they were done eating.

Luke tried to eat as quickly as he could while still remaining polite. Unlike most days, he didn’t chat or linger over his food. Instead, as soon as he had swallowed the last mouthful and thanked his mother for making his lunch, Luke was up and away from the table. A short time later he had hitched up the buggy and was headed, pie in hand, over to the Sutter farm.

When he arrived, the yard was quiet. The windows were open but the
haus
was quiet as well. He left the pie on the front seat of his buggy and approached the stairs, listening for signs that there may have been people moving around inside the home. He didn’t hear anything. He remembered his mother saying that sometimes Hannah was very weak after visiting the doctor and thought perhaps that she was only resting. He made up his mind, walked up the last few steps to the door, and knocked loudly on it.

He waited, ears cocked for any sign that there was movement inside the home. He heard nothing. He knocked again and, when there was still no answer, turned around and headed back down the stairs. He was trying to decide when would be a good time for him to return when he heard the sound of a car driving up the road to the farmhouse. He waited patiently by his buggy, settling his horses so that they did not bolt. Both horses were accustomed to
Englischer
vehicles but he never liked to take the chance that they would stand still.

He watched as the car came to a stop and the back doors opened. Emma emerged first and then Hannah. Luke was sad to see how slowly Hannah was moving. It seemed like she was much older than her eighteen years and her face looked drawn and tired. Emma also looked like she had aged although Luke knew that was from the strain of looking after Hannah all on her own.

“Hannah!” Luke called out to them and waved. He saw Hannah’s head turn towards him and could tell that she didn’t recognize him right away. He knew he had changed quite a bit in the two years he had been away but had still hoped that Hannah might have known him still. He walked over to where Hannah and her mother were standing. He took his hat off, nodded his head and handed Emma the pie.

“Mrs. Sutter,” he said, “my
maemm
sent this over as she thought maybe you and Hannah would like a treat when you got home.” He heard his voice tremble a little and hoped that they wouldn’t be able to tell how nervous he was.

“
Ach
, Luke! It’s
gut
to see you again. You’ve been gone quite some time, young
mann
. You’ve grown up quite a bit. Tell your
maemm
and
daedd
danke,
but I’m afraid now is not a
gut
time for you to call here. We’re quite tired and I’m sure Hannah just wants to get in the
haus
and lie down.” Emma turned and began to motion to Hannah to go in the
haus
but her
dochtah
stopped and looked at Luke, then spoke words that shocked Emma more than she wanted to admit.

“
Nee, Maemm, danke
. I’d like to talk with Luke a bit. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him.”