Hard and Easy [High-Country Shifters 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Everlasting) (17 page)

“Ms. Madra, can you help us?” Drema was in her third class of the day whereas Tana was in the one after lunch.

She put down her stylus. “Sure.”

Drema slipped a hip on the desk. “It’s about boys. Can you help us?”

She chuckled. Her mind raced to the image of her dabbing the cake frosting on her tits. “Maybe. What’s going on?”

Drema spent fifteen minutes telling her how she’d had a crush on Clarin for three years now and he’d finally asked her out.

“I would think you’d be ecstatic. What seems to be the problem?”

Tana piped up. “Her parents won’t let her go out with him.”

Drema leaned forward. “I’m almost seventeen.”

That was a tough one. She didn’t want to lecture her on morals, but she wanted to guide the young lady. “Maybe you could have Clarin come to your house. If your parents saw what a nice boy he was, they might let you go out with him.”

Drema shook her head. “I don’t think he’d go for that.”

She leaned back. “Then maybe he doesn’t deserve you. If he can’t make this concession, where do you see this relationship going?”

Drema glanced at Tana. “You might be right.” She smiled. “Tana, let’s go talk to Clarin and tell him he needs to come over to my house or I won’t go out with him. Thanks, Ms. Madra.”

Before she could respond that’s not quite what she meant, the two ladies were out the door. She didn’t think demanding Clarin do something was going to work, but in truth, she thought a bright girl like Drema deserved someone better than Clarin.

No sooner had her thoughts left the dilemma with Clarin than her next class began. While some of the students paid more attention to their neighbor, the class time breezed by.

Two more classes brought the day to an end. After school, she worked on getting a head start on her year-end exam. When she looked at the time, she couldn’t believe she’d stayed an extra hour. The stores in the mall would be closing soon, and she needed a pair of sandals since the strap on her shoes had almost snapped.

She decided to walk instead of taking the tram. She hoped the shoes didn’t bust on the way there.

At Rein’s shoe store, she peeked her head in. Rein was helping a customer, but as soon as her friend noticed her, she grinned and held up a finger. That worked for Madra, as she had to figure out what to buy. She was halfway through the second wall of shoes when the customer left and Rein raced over.

“I can’t believe you came to shop.” Her mouth turned into a frown. “Or did something happen?”

“Both. You have a minute?” They had so much to catch up on.

“Sure.”

As soon as she started in on her decision to go to wolf territory, three customers came in. “I do need shoes, but those can wait. How about you stop over after work? I’ll pick up some food.”

“Perfect.”

They hugged, and Madra headed out of the store, walking carefully so as not to put any more stress on the strap. As a treat to herself for the good day she’d had, she picked up a bottle of wine along with a crusted pie, topped with tomatoes and cheese.

Once home, she put the food in the refrigerator and changed into lightweight pants and a baggy top. Getting the chance to chat with Rein would be a great way to spend the evening.

Right on time, her friend arrived. Rein rushed in with a bottle of white.

Madra laughed. “I bought a bottle of red for you.”

“And I got a bottle of white for you.” That was what good friends were for. “Dinner’s ready. Let me take it out of the oven.”

Once they were seated, Madra launched into what had happened in her life since she’d last seen Rein. She’d already filled her in on how when Larek had brought her to the cave, they’d met up with Frania.

“I bet she was excited to have you show her the drawings firsthand.”

“She was.”

Madra picked up another slice of the tomato pie. “You know Henla came back here. Did she stop by the store?”

“Yes, but we only got to chat a bit though. She looked great, didn’t she?”

“She sure did. She seems so excited about having the baby.”

“I know.” There was a wistful look to her gaze.

Not wanting her meal to get cold, Madra ate instead of talking. She washed down the crusted tomato pie with some wine. “Did Henla mention I visited her?”

“Just that you came, but then she told me she was expecting and we talked about that. Tell me about it.”

“After my visit to the cave, I got this urge to learn more about this new history, so I wanted to make certain the wolves, and not some charlatan, drew the pictures thousands of years ago. The only way to do that would be to visit wolf territory myself.”

Rein’s eyes widened. “I can’t believe you went there. That’s so dangerous.”

“I sought out Jalen to escort me.” She explained how his friend went instead and how through a friend of Henla’s, she met with a wolf historian. “The tomb was amazing.”

“So did everything you think about the history pan out?”

“For the most part.”

“So what are you going to do now?” She sounded so much like Lara she feared she’d get the same reaction.

“Nothing.” She held up her hand. “My only issue is what Larek and Brin are going to think.” They never shied away from finding the truth.

“They’ll think the same thing I do.”

From the way Rein picked at her food, she wasn’t sure she wanted to know her real opinion, but she had to ask. “Which is?”

“That you need to find a way to connect with the students and teach the truth.” Rein’s eyes dimmed for a moment. “I totally get that you need your job. I get that you love helping the students, but I know you. You love to dig for the truth. You’ll never be happy unless you find a solution to your problem.”

“I appreciate your honesty.” Rein would never understand.

Not wanting the night to be a total waste, she asked about Rein’s love life. Since it was currently nonexistent, as soon as they finished eating, she seemed to have to get home.

As soon as her friend left, Madra poured another glass of wine and thought about the conversation. Rein was definitely right about one thing. Larek and Brin would never go along with her decision to abandon the whole concept of proving the lions dominated the wolves.

She held up her glass. “Well, I guess we just don’t belong together then.” Tilting the glass, she finished the contents in one long gulp.

Madra had tossed and turned all night. She could still picture Rein’s dismissal. She acted like the decision to teach the old way wasn’t the right one. That was too damned bad.

Madra worked hard not to cry about her decision to leave Larek and Brin, but once more, she knew that was the right thing to do. In the end, their relationship would never last.

The problem she faced was that as much as she loved being with Larek and Brin, she knew they’d always be disappointed in her, and changing for their sake wouldn’t make her happy.

In the morning, she messaged both Larek and Brin and told them she needed to speak with them. Telling them they were through was going to kill her, but for the men’s own good, she had to do it. Their suggestive message reply implied they had no idea what was she was going to say, which was only going to make it harder.

The anxiety from last night had spilled into today. At school her stomach ached and her head hurt. Getting through her classes while acting civil had been one of the most difficult acting jobs in her life.

Now it was time to face her men, and she wasn’t sure she had the courage to get off at the right tram stop. She could breeze on by and perhaps shop. That easy solution appealed to her, but when the men’s station arrived, she stood and walked to the door.

It whooshed open.

Decision time.

You have to do this
.

Like someone walking to her death sentence, she put one foot in front of the other and got off. As she neared their house, her pace slowed. She rehearsed what she wanted to say. Her decision to stay the course was rock solid. That much she knew.

Before she was emotionally ready, she found herself standing in front of their door. As if someone else was behind her and lifted her arm, she knocked. Brin answered. Lust and depression filled her so much that she couldn’t move.

His smile disappeared. “What’s wrong?”

He led her inside before she got a chance to answer. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

“You want something to drink?”

“Water?”

“Sure.”

She edged her way to the sofa, took hold of the arm, and eased down. With her back straight, she clasped her hands together. Brin must have let Larek know she was here, because he came jogging down the hallway.

“Hey, babe.” He stopped short. “What happened?”

As soon as he slid down next to her, she regretted choosing the sofa.

Brin handed her the glass, and she guzzled the contents. He took a seat opposite her. “Please tell us what’s going on.”

Despite her rehearsed words, none of the eloquent phrases came to mind.
Just say it.
“I don’t think we should see each other again.” Her words got stuck in her throat.

Larek’s hand squeezed hers tightly and Brin jumped up and stepped toward her. “What do you mean?” She could tell Brin was trying not to shout.

“Let me first say that you two are the most amazing men I’ve ever known, but I know you two. You’ll try to change me, and I like the way I am.” She notched her chin up.

“That’s bullshit,” Larek said. He waved a hand. “We love you for who you are. Why would we want to change you?”

“Trust me, you would. After a lot of thought, I know that teaching the old way is best for the kids and me.” She had to get out of there. They would never understand.

“I repeat. That’s bullshit.” She wished he wouldn’t hover. “It hasn’t been that long since we were in the cave. Did you forget how excited you were when you got to share the discovery with Frania? Or how thrilled you were to see the wolves’ tomb? We know you are yourself when you are exciting students and exploring the unknown.”

She stood, and he stepped back. “I do excite my students, and I’m proud of it. The path I’m choosing preserves the relationships I love.”

The tears were about to fall, and she didn’t want to be here any longer. She swiveled around and rushed out as fast as she could.

Do not cry. This is the right thing to do.

It was far better to end it now before they asked her to be theirs forever.

* * * *

“What the fuck just happened?” Larek dropped his head on the sofa. “Maybe we should go after her.” He knew the answer was no, but he felt the need to express his frustration.

“She’s got cold feet, that’s all.” From the way Brin’s jaw was clenched and his fists were tight, he was lying to himself.

“You heard her. She thinks we care if she teaches the old way.”

“In a way, we do.” He dropped back on the chair. “Let me ask you this. When did you fall in love with her?”

He’d never voiced those words, but they both knew they had “I think I finally turned the corner when I saw her with Frania in the cave. She had such passion and seemed willing to go to any lengths to help the girl.”

Thinking about all of Madra’s wonderful characteristics got him hard. A lot of good that would do him now. “I think the frosting on the cake, so to speak, was when she went to all the trouble to get to wolf territory.”

“That took tremendous courage and determination.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and exhaled. “Where is that woman now?”

“She’s hurting. There is more to this than she’s letting on.”

Larek sat up. “I say we go for a run in the forest. That always clears my head.”

A small smile lifted Brin’s lips. “I say we do it. You know me. I never let anyone defeat me, and wonderful Madra isn’t going to be the first.”

* * * *

Madra thought her decision to enjoy her job and not worry about the men would make her happy. Now she wasn’t so sure. It had been a little over two weeks since she’d seen them, and she missed them more than life itself. Getting up in the morning took effort, and as soon as school was over, she couldn’t wait to get home. Even when she got to help a student with a problem about a best friend or a parent, she didn’t get the usual joy.

Rein had stopped over to see if she could patch things up, but Madra had pretended she had to be someplace and asked her to leave. She knew that was no way to treat her friend, but right now, she didn’t want to scrutinize her life more than she already had. Perhaps when this school year finished, she could regroup.

As she was headed into school, she ran into Frania and her dad. She thought about pretending not to see them, but Frania raced up to her.

“Ms. Madra. Am I glad we caught you. My dad wants to speak with you.”

I don’t want to talk with him.
She didn’t need any more grief
.
“Sure.” Frania looked too hopeful.