“I’ve only finished a few pages,” I protested lamely.
“I don’t care.”
“It’s not very good.”
“I’m sure it’s a lot better than you’re giving yourself credit for.”
“I’m… it’s not…”
“If you don’t want me to read it, that’s cool, too,” he said gently.
“No, I just… no, it’s fine.”
“Okay.” He smiled at me expectantly.
“What, now?!”
He shrugged. “Why not?”
After a second, I sighed in acceptance. “Okay, let me go get my laptop.”
He spent a good ten minutes reading what I’d written, then raised his head. “It’s really good.”
“Really?” I asked hopefully.
“Yeah. You have a real flair for making the band members’ personalities come alive on paper. Plus I can tell you’ve really improved.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
Suddenly he looked sheepish.
“Uh… well… when I found out you were coming, I Googled you and read everything you’d written that I could find on the web.” He winced. “Is that creepy?”
It wasn’t creepy it all.
It just floored me that he’d cared enough to do that.
I laughed, stunned. “No… I… I’m flattered…” Then my insecurities kicked in. “How have I improved?”
“Well, you were always good, even in your simplest stuff, but let’s just say… you didn’t quite have the right subject matter to really shine.”
“Yeah. Interviews with city councilmen and reviews of craft fairs don’t give you the best opportunity to blow people out of the water.”
“Well… now you have the subject matter, an exclusive scoop on a topic tens of millions of people want to read about. So from here on out, it’s all up to you.”
That last statement scared the hell out of me. I looked down at my dinner plate.
“Did I say something wrong?” he asked, puzzled.
“No, I just…” I looked back up at him. “I’m scared.”
“Why?”
“Because…” I said, then trailed off into silence.
Again, he displayed that uncanny knack of just
getting
me. “Because you suffered a huge emotional trauma and don’t want to relive it yet? Kaitlyn, you went through the equivalent of a 10-car pile-up. Fires and ambulances and the whole deal. It’s absolutely normal that you don’t want to return to the scene of the accident yet. But it’ll pass.”
“It’s not just that. I’m… I’m afraid I don’t have what it takes.”
“I don’t believe that. I mean, I believe you might have your own personal demons on that topic, but I
know
you have what it takes.”
“How?”
He grinned. “Because I just read what you wrote, remember? I can recognize talent and hard work. It’s the difference between bands that play primarily in garages, and the ones that make it onto the club scene. Talent only takes you so far; beyond a certain point, you need hard work. Hard work will actually take you a lot farther than talent, but to soar, you need talent, too. You’ve got the talent, and from everything I’ve read of yours on the internet, I
know
you’ve put in the hard work. Now you just have to get over the fear of driving past that spot where the accident happened. Once that happens, you’ll be unstoppable.”
My heart soared.
No one had ever,
ever
been this supportive, this much in my corner. Not previous boyfriends, not college professors, not friends, not my parents – not even myself.
“Thank you,” I whispered.
He smiled at me. “You should thank the woman you see in the mirror every morning. She did all the hard work. I’m just pointing it out.”
I got up, walked across the room, and straddled him in his chair – then kissed him passionately, deeply. When we finally came up for air, he looked at me in wonder. “What was
that
for?”
“For believing in me.”
“Well, in that case, I want to believe in you all night.”
I laughed, and we went back to kissing.
And, yes, we ending up ‘believing in each other’ all night long.
Things quickly got more complicated, though.
The phone rang the next day while I was writing in the library. Since the last person who had called me was Shanna – and in this very room, no less – I thought it was her.
My stomach immediately turned. After all her talk about breaking up the band, I had no interest in telling her I was going to Athens with Ryan. I considered not even answering the call, but I picked up the phone anyway, just to make sure –
And saw the word ‘MOM’ on the screen.
“Oh crap,” I breathed out, then hit ‘Accept Call.’ “Hi, Mom.”
“Hello, honey. How are you doing?”
“Fine.”
“That’s nice. Are you still on tour with that band? What was their name again – Large? Larger?”
“Bigger.”
“Oh yes, that’s right, Bigger. Are you still hanging out with them?”
“Um… no, that’s over.”
“Oh, good. Well, your brother’s going back to college next week, and Dad and I were wondering if you could come down for awhile before he leaves.”
I always came home for a week at Christmas, and I had been promising to do the same this summer. Because I’d been with the band, and then in South Dakota, I hadn’t made good on my promise yet.
“Uh… yeah… I think so…”
“Oh, good. Just put the flight on your credit card and we’ll pay you back when you get here. You
do
have room to put it on your credit card, right?”
“…what?… yeah, yeah, no problem…”
My mind was racing.
Should I tell her about Ryan?
At home. I’ll tell her at home.
Should I go to Savannah, and have Ryan go to Athens, and then meet him later?
Yeah… yeah. That sounded good. I would do that.
“Sounds good, Mom. I’ll book the flight and call you back soon.”
“Okay, honey. I’m looking forward to seeing you!”
“Me, too.”
“Okay, well – love you, Kaitie-bear!”
“Love you, too, Mom.”
I hung up the phone. And then things got even more complicated.
I went into the studio to find Ryan. He was hard at work on a piece of music on the computer.
“Hey,” I said.
“Hey, what’s up?” He grinned, pulled me down into his lap, and started kissing me. “You lookin’ for a little ‘afternoon delight’?”
“Um… that sounds great… but actually, I just got a call from my mom.”
He backed off and got a mildly concerned look. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah… she just wanted me to come visit before my brother goes back to college, and since we’re already flying back together in a couple of days – ”
His entire face lit up like a pinball machine. As in, super-happy. “You want me to meet your parents?”
“…what?!”
No. NO. BAD IDEA.
He could read me like a book, and his expression fell accordingly.
“…or not…” he said, failing to hide his disappointment.
I tried to recover. “No! No, I mean… I just hadn’t thought about it, that’s all.”
“It’s cool, I just thought you meant – ”
“No, I mean – I’d
like
you to meet my parents, I just… you know, I didn’t think you’d
want
to, since we’ve only really been
seeing
each other for a couple of weeks… officially.”
“You’ve met
my
parents.”
“Pff, yeah, like, four years ago, when we weren’t dating.”
It sounded harsher than I meant it, like I was totally blowing him off.
I winced as soon as I said it.
Ryan, God bless him, was trying to keep sanguine about my lack of enthusiasm. “It’s cool. Don’t worry about it, I just jumped to conclusions, that’s all. My bad.”
Now I felt horrible.
“No – no, really, it’s fine, I just – I
want
you to meet my parents. I do. I just – I just hadn’t figured on it being so soon.”
He nodded, totally understanding. “It’s a little early.”
He was totally giving me an out.
Did I take it?
No, of course not.
Being the dumbass that I am, I tried to make him feel better instead.
“No… you know… it’s not
that
early, really…”
Unfortunately, he took me at face value. “I guess you’re right. Seeing as we’re pretty much moving in with each other in Athens.”
‘Moving in with each other.’
HOLY SHIT.
I jumped up off his lap and began pacing back and forth in a panic.
“…Kaitlyn?” he asked worriedly.
“I’m – hold on, just give me a minute.”
“I didn’t mean to freak you out.”
“I know, I know, I just – ” I took in a big breath and then blew it out. “I mean… I hadn’t actually thought about it like
that
… like, you know… us
moving in
with each other.”
“Bad choice of words.”
“No, no – it was fine – it was – I mean, we’ve been living with each other for almost two months now anyway, right?” I gave a short, forced laugh. “I mean – we already
did
sort of move in together, right?”
“No, it’s… it’s a lot. I wasn’t thinking. I can get you your own place in Athens so you can have somewhere to go whenever you need space. No big deal.”
He was so incredibly sweet.
I walked over to him and put my hands on his face and kissed him.
When I pulled back, he kept his eyes closed dreamily for a second… and then looked up at me. “So… is that a ‘yes’ on getting your own place?”
“No.”
He frowned slightly.
“I just freaked out, that’s all,” I said. “I want to live with you. I want to stay with you. And I want you to meet my parents.”
“…really?”
“Really.”
He was incredibly happy once more. “That would be awesome.”
“I just… need to call my mom and make sure she’s okay with that.”
“Okay.”
“Alright, I’ll… uh… let me go do that.”
He grinned at me. “Okay.”
I was about to walk out when I turned back. “But – all my stuff’s up in New York. Well, it’s not
much,
but I’d need to – ”
“I’ll have Miles take care of it. We’ll get it all shipped down.”
My stomach flip-flopped. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea, getting Miles involved.”
Ryan gave a grim smile. “He still works for me, too, you know.”
“But – I need to talk to my landlord – sign papers – ”
“I’ll have Miles take care of it.”
“But I still have three months left on the lease.”
“Not a problem.”
“But… that’s, like, over three thousand dollars…”
As soon as I said it – and realized who I was saying it to – I felt incredibly foolish.
Mr. Multi-Millionaire Rock Star Bassist raised one eyebrow. “Kaitlyn?”
“…yeah?”
“We’ll make it work.”
“Okay…”
“Trust me, everything’ll be fine.”
“Okay,” I said, and smiled weakly before I left the room.
Holy shit.
Five minutes ago, I’d gone into the studio to set up separate trips to Athens and Savannah.
And now I was giving up my New York apartment, moving in with Ryan, and taking him to see my parents.
HOLY SHIT.
Part of me hoped that my mom wouldn’t go for an extra visitor, but I knew that was about as likely as seeing a unicorn out in the pastures.
I hit ‘Call Back’ on my phone. It rang a couple of times before she answered.
“Hi, honey!”
“Hey, Mom.”
“Did you book your flight?”
“Um, not yet… Mom?”
“Yes?”
“I’m, uh, sort of dating this guy…”
“Oh, that’s wonderful! How long has this been going on?”
“Well… only a couple of weeks… but I’ve kind of known him for four years… off and on.”
“Really! Well, that’s so nice, I’m so happy to hear that.”
“Anyway, we’re… sort of… on vacation together.”
“That’s great! Are you having a good time?”
My mom wasn’t fazed at all by my being on vacation with some guy I’d only been dating two weeks. Remember, she was also the one who had told me in college to always remember to use a condom.
All I could think of was
Thank God my dad isn’t on the phone.
“Yes… we’re having a very nice time.”
“Oh, well, if you don’t want to cut short your vacation, I can understand that. You can just come home whenever it’s convenient for you. Don’t worry about Tim, he’ll see you at Christmas.”
Tim was my younger brother, and was in his senior year at Georgia Tech.
“No, no, that’s not what I meant… I, uh… would you care if I brought him along?”
“Your boyfriend? Of course you can! We’d love to have him.”
I started to say,
He’s not my –
but then I caught myself.
You’re moving in with him.
You’re leaving New York to be with him.
Are you really going to insist he’s not your boyfriend?
“Okay… great… we’ll book our flight and I’ll get back to you soon.”
“Wonderful! I’m so looking forward to meeting him! What’s his name?”
I almost said ‘Derek.’
I swear, I actually started to form the sound ‘D’ with my lips before I stopped myself.
What the fuck was THAT?!
Stupid.
Stupid!
“Ryan,” I said. “His name is Ryan.”
“Wonderful! Well, we’ll be so happy to have him come stay with us.”
“Okay… thanks, Mom…”
“Alright – talk to you later, honey! And tell Ryan hello for us!”
“Okay…”
“Love you! Bye-bye!”
“Love you, too… bye…”
Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God
Why the hell did I almost say ‘Derek’?!
It took me another 15 minutes to calm down.
The cherry on the sundae was my brother Tim called me minutes afterward.
“What’s this about you bringing a guy home?”
he demanded.