Hard Luck Hank: Screw the Galaxy (23 page)

Ah good, a man of reason.

“Tejj-jo,” I said.

“Is she home?” he asked his colleagues, and I
could tell they were thinking about what to say.

“If she’s not, I’m just going to sit up there
until she comes. And send a tele out to some friends to let me know if they
spot her.”

“Do you mind if one of us comes with you?” he
asked.

“Why?”

“Because she will feel more comfortable with us
around, I think,” he said delicately.

Yeah, I could see that. He was a pretty smart
doorman.

“Well, the only problem is she’s going to
expect you to throw me out. And when you don’t, you’re going to get fired,” I
answered after much contemplation.

The guards discussed this.

“And you’re not here to hurt her or anything?”
he asked.

“Or rob her?” a younger guard asked.

“Rob her?” I asked indignantly. I held up my
hand in an oath pose. “I won’t even ruffle her hair.”

The guards talked some more. I could see one of
the younger guys was anxious for a fight. He was in the wrong business. The
others seemed to be trying to explain the situation.

“Can we ask what this is regarding?”

I figured doing a little name-dropping might
help.

“I’m working for Two Clem,” I said.

They all groaned. Some cussed. Not everyone
appreciates celebrities, I guess.

Finally, the old guard spoke.

“She’s on the third floor, suite seven. We’ll
buzz you in.”

The inside of the building was very nice. Not
too flashy.

I was mildly worried they would lock the
elevator once I was in it, but I was tired of stairs. And the smart ones
probably knew I could just tele about a hundred guys to come over and kill
them.

I got to suite seven and buzzed. The door
opened after a moment. I heard the peals of numerous women laughing behind the
face of a truly beautiful female at the door.

“Yes?” she said.

“Uh, I’m looking for Tejj-jo,” I said.

“Jo, some guy here for you,” she said, as she
walked from the door.

I figured I should take this opportunity and I
entered the apartment.

The home was wealthy. Richly appointed. Artwork
and expensive furniture all over. I got the sense a gang boss lived here, or at
the very least visited.

“Hello?” said another truly beautiful woman,
who walked towards me. She had extremely long auburn hair with exaggerated
curls. Her figure was impressive and she wore light, flowing clothes. Even her
voice was attractive. She had poise and confidence as she approached this
unknown man in sandals who had entered unasked into her home.

There were four other women in the apartment.
They were apparently drinking and in high spirits. They were all absurdly
good-looking. It was like some kind of model convention.

“Hi,” I said uneasily. “I’m hoping we can
talk.”

“Well, you can go wait in the hallway first of
all,” she said.

“You tell him, Jo,” one of the women yelled and
they all laughed.

Yeah. So how was I going to do this? I thought
back to how I’d dealt with Garm’s tattletales, because that’s how I didn’t want
to do it.

“I’m here from Two Clem—,” I started.

Then the women erupted in boos and catcalls.

“Get out of here,” Tejj-jo said angrily. “Tell
him to grow up.”

I thought for a moment as the women celebrated
and Tejj-jo rejoined her friends. I walked to the door, closed it, locked it.
Then turned around and faced them.

“I’m sorry, but I need to ask you other ladies
to leave. I need to speak to Tejj-jo alone, please.”

The joviality stopped abruptly. Tejj-jo walked
over to a table and picked up her tele.

“I don’t know who the hell you are or how you
got in here, but you’re about to get thrown out on your head by my security.”

“They know I’m here and they can’t do anything
about it. So put down your tele and just talk to me. If I wanted to hurt you,
you’d have already been hurt. I’m just here to talk.”

“Then why did you lock the door?” she asked,
skeptical.

“Well, because I didn’t want you all to run
out,” I said. Which was true, because I couldn’t catch them—they had some damn
long legs.

Several of the women laughed, they didn’t seem
to be especially concerned.

“You picked the wrong party to crash, mister.
Do you have any idea who each of us is dating?”

“Who?” I asked, at least thankful to be moving
forward.

They paused. I suppose that was confidential.
Clearly these were not wives, but mistresses. Still, I couldn’t go around
bashing their noses without a lot of blowback.

“Well, let me tell you who I am. My name is
Hank.” I waited for a response, but didn’t see one. “I’m not sure if you heard
about those Dredel Led that came here. The robots. And how some guy destroyed
them? I’m that guy.”

I walked up to the couches and saw they had
lost a lot of their cool.

“I’ve worked for almost every boss on
Belvaille, shot more people than I care to count, and I’m best pals with the
Adjunct Overwatch. I’m bulletproof and I’ve withstood knives, bombs, fires,
fists, lightning, and the angry attention of a Therezian—twice. Right now, I’m
just here to talk to her,” I said, pointing at Tejj-jo.

The room was quiet.

“If you’re bulletproof, then you won’t mind
being shot, right?” A woman took a couple steps towards me and held out the
tiniest pistol in the galaxy. She might have concealed it inside her ear it was
so small.

“Nat,” one of her friends warned.

“No, I do mind being shot. But if that’s what
it will take to get this meeting…” I leaned towards the woman, putting my face
mere inches from the weapon.

That little gun was more likely to hurt her
hand than even hit me. It’s almost unconscionable to sell junk like that.

“Jo?” one of the women asked.

“Again, I’m not here to harm anyone,” I said,
my face still near the gun.

The women were tense and you could almost see
their minds flitting through an appropriate response. If these were truly gang
molls, they had to know violence. A lovely face won’t protect you forever if
you don’t have a survival instinct and an ability to adjust to new situations.

“It’s okay, guys,” Tejj-jo finally said.

The women slowly began to get up and move
towards the door. The woman with the pistol, however, remained. I think she was
uncertain how to get out of the situation.

I stood up straight and smiled.

“No hard feelings, miss.”

On shaky legs, the woman joined her companions
at the door.

“Call us, Jo,” one of them said. “Let us know
if you need anything.”

Then they warily left the apartment.

Tejj-jo sat on the couch, looking unperturbed.
She really was quite a catch. She reminded me of Garm, just more glamorous,
less twitchy, and considerably friendlier.

“Okay, what’s this about?” she asked.

I felt pretty silly about proceeding after all
the theatrics.

“Um. Are you seeing anyone?”

“No, why?” she asked, eager to get on with it.

“No one? Like, it was just you and Two Clem?”

“Wait. Is that what this is about? He wants to
know if I’m dating someone?”

“Or if you ever did. When you were going out.”

I couldn’t even look at her as I said it. It
was just so ridiculous. He could have sent her a tele.

“He hired you to come over here in the middle
of the night, the goon that punches Dredel Led, and ask me if I’m dating?”

I was slouching. Staring at my ugly toes.

“Or…you know…you were,” I mumbled.

“It’s none of his business. We broke up.” Then
she must have seen my predicament and decided to capitalize on it. “Do you feel
good about what you’re doing? Is this a career highlight for you?”

“It’s just a job. I need receipts.”

“What?” she shouted.

She stood up and was in front of me now.

“Tell Two Clem he’s a spineless, self-important
fop who was a waste of my time.”

I was about to respond that I’m not a
messenger, but I realized I was.

“Why should I tell you, anyway?” she asked.

My instinct was to go all Hank on her and get
belligerent. But this was a tough woman. That play wouldn’t go over well.

“Well, because he deserves to know,” I said
quietly.

“Do you even know him?”

“No, but I don’t have to,” I reasoned.

“He must have cheated on me fifty times or more
when we were seeing each other. And now, weeks later, he’s worried about what I
did?”

This. Blew. I couldn’t punch or shoot my way
out of this. I felt crappy. And no resolution was going to be satisfactory. I
promised myself I’d never do a job like this again.

“Well, wouldn’t you want to know if he
cheated?”

“I already knew. It’s not like he was subtle.”

My decades of experience talking to criminals
and making deals seemed to offer no insights whatsoever when it came to this.
Relationships were so much harder than business. Because as personal as a case
of liquor was, it’s absolutely nothing compared to the illogical world of
infatuation.

“Could you tell me…for me?” I asked.

“I’ve never even met you.”

“I saved your life. Indirectly. When I fought
those robots. Ended up in the hospital for ages.”

“I’m sure you had other reasons than just
saving me.”

I looked at her directly now.

“No. That was pretty much it. Saving this station.
I wasn’t keen on the job.”

She sighed, meeting my gaze.

“I waited until we broke up. I dated someone.
It didn’t last. There. Happy?”

I thought for a bit. Was that it? Was that
collection of words worth a hundred grand? Did she have to make a written statement?

“Uh, yeah, I guess that’s it. Sorry to bother
you.”

I walked to the door and opened it.

“Hey. Are you really bulletproof?” she asked.

I turned back and she had an expression that
made me uncomfortable.

“Yeah.”

She smiled with lazy eyes and I left the
building before she could test my claim.

A week later I was at an empty casino table
enjoying a drink when a bored security guard I know named Calliman came by. He
ran security for the casino, so he could take breaks when he wanted.

“Whatcha got there, Hank?” he said, leaning
against the table.

“Receipts.” I had an ear-to-ear grin as I
flipped through them.

“What for?” He was intrigued by my enthusiasm.

“My life. Look, it’s all here.”

He sat down and looked through the folder.
Truly my receipts were one of the coolest things I’d ever seen. The bookkeeper
had done an unbelievable job. The countless columns and ledgers and data were
absolutely fascinating. It was like a whole imaginary existence put down in
numbers.

“But what are they for?” he asked, not
understanding.

“Are you dumb? We’re going to get audited when
the military gets here. They’re going to want to see receipts for work we did
in the past.”

“They already gave me a phony job to use. I’m a
dock worker,” Calliman said.

“But where’s your receipts? You been here
years, you got no receipts. Me?” And I patted the papers proudly. “These go
back twenty-eight years. I can just say I lost the rest. How long can they
expect me to keep them?”

Another security guard came by, yawning. He
held a cup of coffee.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Receipts,” Calliman said absently, his nose
deep in them.

“What kind?” asked the guard, and he leaned
over to get a better look.

I saw the liquid tilting in the coffee cup and
I pushed him back angrily.

“Watch it. You know what these are worth?”

“Easy, I wasn’t going to steal them,” the guard
said, annoyed.

“Hey, you need to check these out. It’s pretty
wild stuff,” Calliman said, as absorbed in the documents as I had been.

“Put your coffee over there first,” I warned.

Another guard had come by and pretty soon all
of them were admiring the work.

“Don’t bend it,” one cautioned.

“Hank, it says here you pay taxes, too.”

“Really?” I hadn’t seen that. In fact, I hadn’t
really been able to understand much of the receipts at all. But there it was.

“They just gave me a hammer and told me to say
I work on the ventilation. Where can I get some receipts?” Calliman asked.

“They’re not just blowing around on the
street,” I said sagely. “You need to talk to the right people.”

Calliman laid the documents out in
interconnecting pyramids to try and understand them.

“You could hide so much money, Hank. Millions.”

I smiled proudly.

“Hey, can I give you some money to hold? Just
until the cops leave.”

“Me too.”

“I don’t think that’s something I want to get
into. Besides, there’s plenty of moneylenders here. I’m sure they could do it.”

“But they’re going to want big bucks. And then
there’s the juice they’ll add on top. I’ll pay you,” the guard added quickly.

“Let me think about it,” I said, delicately
gathering my papers. “But if you tele me tomorrow, I might be able to give you
the names of some bookkeepers who can help you out. I got to ask them if they
want the business first.”

They all thanked me.

After I returned my receipts to their protective
folder, I finished my drink and headed for the train. At first I thought I had
spent more time inside than I’d realized. I looked up and the latticework
lights were definitely dimming, signaling it was Belvaille’s version of
nighttime.

Around me, people were all looking up as well.
Was it a power problem? We’ve had issues with the lights in the past. We’ve had
whole sections go out completely but never the entire latticework.

People were exiting the casino and buildings
all up the block, staring at the roof of our city. The lights were gradually
getting darker and darker and darker.

Then they were gone. They never turned off the
lights completely. Ever.

With the constant light of Belvaille, we
couldn’t see stars. Couldn’t see past our own little environment. But with the
latticework off, everything was clear.

But instead of a galaxy of stars, what we saw
was far more startling.

There were countless bright lights. Reds,
yellows, greens, blues that glowed crisp and unwavering in our view. They
belonged to hundreds of ships that were now floating around Belvaille.

The Navy, it seemed, had arrived.

I got back to my place as quickly as possible.

“Wake up!” I yelled to Delovoa, who was asleep
on my floor, a huge white metal robot standing over him.

Delovoa grumbled and murmured but didn’t stir.

I pulled the scientist to his feet, risking
getting mashed by ZR3.

“You’re leaving. Now.”

“What?” he stammered.

I dragged him through the house and outside.
When we exited, Delovoa looked up to the sky.

“So it’s real,” he said vaguely.

It was dark outside. Very dark. This was the
best and only chance I was going to have of moving these two. A moment later,
ZR3 pounded out after us. I think it took the front door with it.

We only saw a few people on the way, but
visibility was so low I couldn’t make out who it was. And while I could only
indistinctly see them, the gleaming white tower of ZR3 was likely more visible.
Still, I couldn’t worry about that now.

It took us more than an hour to reach the
secret apartment—one of the units not shown on the most recent map. It was just
three large rooms. It had once been an electrical substation, though all those
components were long gone and now it was merely vacant.

The door didn’t even have any locks or codes on
it.

“Stay here and don’t move,” I said once we were
inside.

This building was perfect for them. ZR3 could
easily fit now that all the generators had been removed, and no one would think
of checking this structure as it was labeled with all kinds of hazardous
warnings. I had already stocked it with supplies and sundries for Delovoa to
occupy himself with. That was before he had pirated my own apartment.

“Hank,” Delovoa began feebly, “what’s going to
happen to me?”

Standing there in the makeshift residence, a
tremendously illegal alien in tow, an armada surrounding us, no way to escape,
it was a valid question.

“I don’t know what’s going to happen to
me
,
Delovoa,” I answered honestly. “I’ll do my best.”

When I got back home I was on needles waiting
for the Navy to come in any moment. I had both guns in my hands. After about
six hours, I felt I was being a little self-important. Presumably the Navy
would land first. Maybe do some setting up. With a flotilla that size, it could
be a while.

I looked outside. The lights were still off on
the space station. They wanted to make sure that everyone saw what was out
there, regardless of when they woke up.

It was difficult to tell where one ship ended
and another began. I wondered which were the dreadnoughts. You couldn’t really
get a sense of scale from here. Because they were in space, at X, Y, and Z
axes, the lights would often overlap or seem irregular. But from the ground,
now and then at the right angle, a row or two would appear in perfect symmetry,
so you knew the ships were all aligned in some proper military fashion. They
had to be, there were simply too many to be floating around haphazardly.

Because of the darkness, I didn’t see Jyen and
Jyonal until they were right in my face, standing in my apartment.

“Hank, what’s going on?” Jyen asked, grabbing
hold of me.

“The Navy. You need to get back to your
apartment. Don’t come out. Have your papers ready if anyone calls on you. Study
your documents and be ready to answer any questions,” I said severely.

“Can we still go to clubs?” Jyen asked.

I think she would have electrocuted me if she
could have seen the expression on my face.

“No.”