Hard to Resist (6 page)

“Well, could I get a little bit more depth?”

“Depth of what?” I snap, my forehead creasing heavily.

“Of why I was rejected—of why you wanted
just sex
from me.” He presses his lips firmly while waiting on a response. “Do I really come off that way to you? I can understand continuous
just sex
with the same person but a one-night-stand . . . that’s what completely catches me off guard.”

“It’s a very long and personal story—”

“You know, I thought about it last night,” he says, cutting me off mid-sentence. “And I think I know what it is because I’ve experienced what you’re going through.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about. You’re heartbroken and you’re keeping your guard up.”

He stares at me, his eyes firm with confidence. “And how would you know that?” I ask.

“Well, I was just hoping that you weren’t a prostitute,” he sighs. “I would much rather you be a brokenhearted girl than a night streaking whore. I can’t get through to a hoe but a broken heart—well, those can be easily mended with time.”

Okay. He’s figured me out. So what? That doesn’t mean that I’m going to change my mind. I refuse to jump back into this love game again. I know that if I take him up on this
more
option, it will leave me with no choice but to fall for him. I honestly don’t even think we could be friends with benefits if he asked for it. I would sink like quicksand.

“That still doesn’t change anything, Nolan.”

“I know.” Then, unexpectedly, he pulls me against him, placing a hand against my hip while his other slides under my hair to hold onto the nape of my neck. He tilts my head back gently, moving his lips in closer to mine. “But I can make you change your mind. I can make you reconsider.” His lips inch closer but I pull away, refusing to let him kiss me.

But he obviously has other plans because his muscles tighten to keep me in his grasp. His teeth sink into his bottom lip and just by his hold and his seductive eyes, my body is melting cell by cell. “I’ve already had a taste of your lips last night, Natalie. Why not do it again?”

“I was drunk,” I mutter.

“But you liked it. You said it.” He pulls back to study my eyes. He’s right. I did love the plushness of his lips, the taste of the alcohol on his sweet tongue. He tasted delicious. But I will never tell him that.

“I have to get back to Harper.” He releases me but his chest remains close to mine.

“I don’t think Harper needs you right now.” He folds his arms while looking behind me.

I turn around quickly only to spot Harper now making out with the guy that had caused her face to look like a blank sheet of paper just a few moments ago.
Damn it, Harp!

“What is up with you two?” I hiss as my eyes thin to slits.

“We’re just ourselves and you party girls hate it.”

“Ugh, whatever.” I begin to turn and walk off but he catches my arm to reel me back in. His head tilts as he studies my face while slithering a hand on top of my shoulder. Leaning in, he places his lips against my ear. “One chance, Natalie. That is all I ask for. If you don’t like it, then I’ll leave you alone for good because at least I had the opportunity of getting to know you.” He pulls back and my skin pricks. It’s even hotter now. “You can’t just reject me like that. I will only continue to find you.” A smug smile creeps across his lips. “So, what do you say?”

I pause, hesitating on how I should answer. I know that he won’t leave me alone. Even if I were to say no, he will keep popping into my life. He knows where Harper and I live. I can’t hide out at her place. There’s nowhere that I can go and nothing that I can do. Harper will continue to drag me out and I will continue to see this beautiful man that will keep begging me for a date.

“Just one date?” I finally ask.

“Only one.” He smiles as he releases me.

“Fine. Only one. But don’t expect much from me.”

“Oh, I already know not to expect much from you. I honestly don’t expect to get anything from you.” I cringe.
Ouch
. “We’ll go as friends—if that’ll help.”

“Yeah,” I breathe. “As friends sounds much better.”

He nods, his lips pressing together gently. “Alright. What do you say I pick you up around seven tonight? When the party’s clear we can take a walk on the beach, catch a bite to eat . . . something simple.”

I nod, biting back on a smile. To be honest, that sounds amazing. He isn’t trying too hard to do this. He wants it to be casual with no feelings involved. I’ll accept his offer, although I already know that he will try to make his move a few times. But it’s only one date. After tonight, I won’t have to worry about him anymore.

“Okay,” I grin.

Chapter Six

I’m still debating on whether I should wear more than mascara and lip gloss. Those are my casualties. I wear nothing more than that. No foundation, no eyeliner . . . just mascara and lip gloss. Gracey had always told me that I never needed the extra stuff. She reminded me every day that I was beautiful. I won’t be a Debbie-Downer and pretend that I’m not. I just don’t like to make it an obvious fact. Not everyone may think of me as pretty or beautiful. But I can tell you right now that Bryson did.

I hate that I’m thinking about him but when I feel like I’m at my lowest, memories of him telling me how gorgeous I am flood my mind. But I couldn’t have been gorgeous enough because he cheated on me—with someone that can’t even compare. Sara Manx was truly hideous and she hid behind so much make up that she could have turned into a bag of makeup herself.

“No one is going to choose her,” Sara hissed to one of her friends as I passed by. A smug smile tingled at my lips as I looked over my shoulder.

“Maybe we should take classes on whispering, huh, Sara?” I stopped in the middle of the school hallway to see her ugly face.

“Maybe we should take classes on being an interesting girlfriend, huh, Natalie?”

I cringed with a scowl. If there was one thing that I’d always worried about, it was that I felt like I was a boring girlfriend to Bryson. I felt so uninteresting to him because he was my first at everything. He took my virginity, he had my first kiss. He was my everything. I guess that’s why I was so in love with him. “You’re a bitch, Sara. You’re the one that’s not gonna win.” I felt so immature for arguing with her. If only I’d known how stupid I was making myself look.

“I look better, though,” Sara countered. “I mean, look at you,” she scoffed while looking me over in my loose blue jeans and grey hoody. “You look like complete shit. Like a bag of fucking garbage. I don’t know what Bryson is thinking. I could do him so much better.” She flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder then turned to look at her friend. “Come on, Danielle. We’ve got a pageant to practice for.” Sara looked over her shoulder to scowl at me once more before walking away.

I shook my head as I turned around. I don’t know why I had let Sara get to me like that. She was a bitch and she was only jealous of me. She would say anything to get under my skin. But that time she really had me because I did feel like Bryson could do better than me.

Bryson was perfect in so many ways. He had the perfect smile, the perfect cropped black hair that would be perfectly untamed. He had the sexiest body that I’d always found myself drooling over. If someone were to ask me to describe him, I would start with his height. Bryson is six-foot-three. I find the height of a man the most appealing. He has to be way taller than me. It’s a must when choosing a guy. His hair was always gelled in style. His eyes are a bright green that I’d always fallen in love with—especially with his long eyelashes. He had the best abs from working out every single day and his smile could make a girl tumble over and collapse. Every feature on his face was beyond perfect.

Which is why I drove to his house immediately for comfort.

I banged on the door and he swung it open. He was in the middle of playing his XBOX with Mark but when he saw that it was me, he told Mark to shut the game off and to go downstairs.

“What’s the matter, Nat? What happened?” he asked as he led me to his bed.

“Sara—I fucking hate her,” I growled.

“What happened?” he asked with a small smile. I could tell that he was trying not to laugh at my childish reply. He placed his fingers through the gaps of mine. “What did she say?”

“You know how I feel like I’m not enough for you, Bryson?” His eyebrows rose just a bit. “She reminds me of that every single day. I hate that she can get under my skin like that. Anything that she says about our relationship negatively just kills me.”

“Why?”

“Because sometimes I feel like what she says is true.”

“Well it’s not,” he mumbled. He reached to brush the back of his hand against my cheek. “I love you, Natalie Fiona Carmichael. Nothing will ever change that—not even that crazy bitch Sara.” I giggled lightly before he slid in and placed a soft kiss against my lips. “Nothing will tear us apart. You’re more than enough for me. Sometimes I feel like I’m not enough for you but if we feel the same way about each other, it must mean that we really are in love, right?” His next kiss was a passionate one. He pulled me in closer, cradled me in his arms, and then laid me back. It wasn’t too long before we were making out and after making out, we made love—or so I thought it was love. To me it was love. To him . . . I’m not quite sure what it was.

Tears prick at my eyes as the memory floods my entire body. I try to shake it off but it’s just too hard. That night, Bryson and I made incredible love. I can’t even describe it. Every position was heaven to me. He knew exactly how to please me. And I guess that’s what I’m afraid of with Nolan. I’m so torn because I feel like Bryson is the only one that really knows me.

I don’t want to be learned about by someone else. I don’t want anyone to realize how much of a bitch I am, how stubborn I can get, how terrible my flaws really are, or how hard it is for me to make friends. Harper has been my friend since the sandbox days and I feel like the only reason that Grace and I are so close is because she was my lab partner in biology. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t even know her.

Bryson really understood me, personally and mentally. Which is why it’s so hard to let him go. I want to let go, but I don’t want to move on from how comfortable I was with him. I’m so confused that I feel terrible for myself.

I can’t gain feelings for someone else, especially for someone like Nolan. He is stunning and to catch feelings for someone like him is pretty much asking for my heart to be ripped out completely. It can’t be shattered any more than it already is. I’m broken and I refuse to be healed anytime soon. I can heal myself if I just do what Harper is doing. If I just go out, party, get drunk, then I’ll forget. I won’t have to worry when I’m not sober. If I can, I’ll become an old drunk hag that doesn’t give a shit about her life or her appearance . . .

Ugh. What in the hell is wrong with me? I would never let myself fall that much. I’m not that damn broken to just lose track of myself.

“Nat!” Harper screeches from the living room. I blink rapidly, snapping back into reality as I place my mascara down on the bathroom counter and rush for the living room.

“What?” I ask quickly. As I round the corner, I spot her standing in the middle of the living room staring at the screen of her phone. Her eyes are wide and her face is just like earlier. As if she’s just seen a ghost. “What’s going on?” I ask as I step to her side.

She groans before she finally looks up at me. “It’s that guy from the beach! He said that he won’t stop texting or calling me unless I agree to go on a date with him.”

I frown. “The hot guy with the nipple and lip piercing?”

“Yeah,” she breathes. She slumps down on the couch with another groan. “His name is Dawson. But I can’t go out with him. I just can’t.” She shakes her head swiftly.