Harlequin Historical September 2014 - Bundle 2 of 2: Lord Havelock's List\Saved by the Viking Warrior\The Pirate Hunter (41 page)

‘It is very tempting to believe we could do this.'

Thrand stepped closer and laced his hand through hers. He brought their knuckles up to his lips. ‘Seize this chance to give that boy the perfect mother and a new start in Iceland away from all the politics and killing.'

‘Flattery. And you have no idea what I was like. Far from perfect.' Cwenneth's cheeks flamed, and she pulled away. If he touched her again, she'd agree to everything. She scuffed her boot against the packed dirt of the barn floor and tried to stop her imagination from building longhouses in the clouds. ‘Sometimes I was far too impatient, too concerned with running Aefirth's estate, rather than attending to my child. I should have done more when I had the chance... There are nights I wake up in a cold sweat, remembering all the chances I once had and neglected.'

‘You need another child in your life. If you and your husband had had another child, you would not have proclaimed you could not mother that child because Richard had the misfortune to die. Whatever else happens, Aud needs a mother and he likes you. Even I could see that.'

Cwenneth's throat closed. Somehow it had felt right to be holding a little boy again. She had savoured his little-boy smell and the way he kept finding things for Thrand to look at. It made her remember Richard, but in a good way, rather than in the heavy regretful way she had fallen into. ‘I like him very well. I could come to love him.'

Thrand's face clouded and his shoulders hunched slightly. ‘Then it is me who is the problem. You have no desire to be married to me. I understand. War and battle have made me, but I will try to be a good father. I swear it on my parents' grave.'

‘I never said that!' Cwenneth protested before he had a chance to leave. She knew if she let him walk away, her one opportunity for a life would slip past. He might not be offering marriage for the reason she had hoped, but he was offering. And he was right. Jorvik could be very dangerous for the both of them. Thrand might dismiss Hagal's threat to him, but she couldn't. Iceland could save his life.

He turned back to her. His eyes grew wide. ‘Then you will do it? You will go to Iceland with me and allow Hagal to dig his own grave.'

She swallowed hard and did not give herself a chance to think.

‘Yes, I will do it. I will marry you, Thrand, and be Aud's mother. We will leave for Iceland as soon as possible.'

He caught her hands and twirled her about, lifting her off the ground.

Round and round until she was dizzy.

All the ice vanished from his face. He seemed years younger, eager and excited. The way he looked caused her heart to turn over. It was no good telling her not to love him because she already did.

‘We should bring the girl Hilde with us,' she said when he set her down and the world had stopped spinning.

‘Why?' he asked. ‘Why should we take her? She seems well settled here.'

‘She looks after Aud and I don't think they look after her very well either,' Cwenneth explained with a smile. ‘It will be good to have another female to balance the two males in the family.'

He turned his face to her palm and kissed it. A great warmth flooded through her, but it was also tinged with regret. She wanted him to kiss how he'd kissed her at night, as if he desired her and only her. She knew he only asked because of the children.

‘Then it is decided. We will go to Iceland,' she said briskly. She refused to mourn things she couldn't have. ‘You, the children and I. We will live our life away from kings and politics. We will be free. Our freedom and a life well lived will be the sweetest revenge.'

He threw his arm about her shoulders and hugged her close again. She leant her head against his chest and savoured his warm, spicy smell. ‘Sounds like a good plan to me. Freedom to be the person I am is something I have always sought. My father refused to bow before an usurper. I could never return to Norway as long as the current king and his heirs are on the throne.'

‘What happens next?' she asked, trying to be practical and not think about the thousand reasons why this might be a bad idea. ‘How do we get to Iceland? I have never considered it before. There must be a way.'

‘We will go to Jorvik and meet my men. Some of them may wish to join us. Helgi has often expressed a wish to settle in Iceland. He had made plans to go with Sven. It is only right that I extend the offer to him. I will buy a boat and hire any men we might need. It will be done before you might think. We will be there by midsummer at the latest.'

She laid her head against the broad expanse of his chest and listened to the steady beat of his heart. She tried to keep the sudden wild leaping of her heart at bay. Somehow against the odds, she might actually live to see another Christmas and then the new year and the spring beyond that. She had a future. It felt good—better than good.

He pulled her close, resting his chin on the top of her head. ‘It is time I rested my weary body and found another occupation for my arm. My father farmed after spending years as a warrior. I can do the same. My mother would be proud of me.'

‘But...but...'

‘We will buy a large tract of land and build a fine house as well as getting the right sort of boat for the voyage. Not a dragon boat, but a trader, a sturdy one which can carry livestock as well as people. I refuse to leave Myrkr behind. The horse has been a faithful companion for many years.'

She looped her arm about his neck and pulled his lips down to hers. ‘You talk too much, Thrand.'

‘Most people say I hardly speak.'

‘They don't know you like I do.'

His mouth descended on hers, and she drank from it. Their tongues met and tangled. She allowed her body to say things that she knew she could never admit. His arms tightened about her and she could feel his arousal. A part of her rejoiced. He did desire her. She would make this marriage work. Even a mother like her was better than no mother. She wasn't sure she could love them, but she could give them a better life. She had to stop wishing on clouds for things that were impossible, like Thrand actually loving her.

Thrand wanted her to look after the children. And she shared his bed. Many marriages started on a far worse basis.

A small cough sounded in the back of the barn, bouncing off the walls. They jumped apart. Cwenneth silently gave thanks that the interruption had not been a few heartbeats later. Even now, she knew she looked well-mussed and thoroughly kissed.

She turned her head towards the sound. Hilde stood there, with the rough shawl thrown over her shoulders. She had a worried look on her face and carried a torch. Her intent face relaxed slightly when she spied them.

Cwenneth gave Thrand's hand a squeeze and went over to Hilde.

‘Aud wanted to know where you had gone. I promised him that I would look out for you. He likes you both. Aud doesn't like many people. He misses his mother dreadfully.' Hilde gave a disapproving frown. ‘Too many people have gone from his life. It isn't right. He is a good boy. He tries hard. Was he born unlucky? Is that the problem? Father Athlestan says it is.'

‘Hilde.' Cwenneth knelt down and took the girl's cold hands in hers. ‘We have decided to take Aud and you, too, if you like. We will give your master some gold to compensate him for the loss of two such fine children.'

She glanced back at Thrand. He gave a brief nod. ‘Your master will be well compensated,' he confirmed.

The young girl's face broke into a wreath of smiles. ‘Where would we be going?'

‘To Iceland to start a new life.'

‘I don't know where that is, but I would like that very much,' Hilde said without hesitating. ‘I am a hard worker. Everyone says that about me.'

Cwenneth put her hand on the bony shoulders. She had wanted to have a little girl for such a long time, someone to teach to sew and to do so many things. She had never anticipated it ending like this. ‘I am sure you are.'

‘Shall we go and inform your master?' Thrand said.

‘And Aud? Can I tell him?' the girl whispered. ‘He never liked sleeping with the pigs. He is going to be part of a real family.'

Cwenneth regarded the stall where Mrykr was tethered. Real family. She had given up hope and suddenly Thrand had given her more than she'd ever dreamt. He might not love her, but she couldn't help loving him.

‘Shall we let Thrand do it?'

The girl nodded rapidly. ‘That would be best. He will think it is another of my games otherwise. We play what will happen when his father comes to claim him. Only I never thought it would be like this. Or that I would get to go as well.'

‘And this is what does happen,' Thrand said. ‘Is it better than a game?'

Hilde's eyes glowed. ‘Much better. It is a dream come true.'

‘I have never been anyone's dream before. Nightmare, possibly. It feels good to be a dream.'

The little girl ran out of the pasture.

* * *

Later as they waited in farmyard for the farmer to get Aud's things, Cwenneth slipped her arm through Thrand's, breathing in the scent of straw, the final warmth of the evening sunshine and animal. She used to think barns were ugly things, but this one had a certain grace and charm to it.

She closed her eyes and made a memory. She opened her eyes with a snap.

‘How will we get to the coast? We can't all ride on Myrkr's back. Aud is far too young to walk any great distance.'

‘The farmer has agreed to sell us his cart and a horse to pull it.' Thrand gave a husky laugh. ‘Did you think I lacked sense?'

‘But the roads...' Cwen attempted to think her way around the problem. ‘It took us far longer to reach Acumwick's lands than it should have.'

‘The roads may be muddy, but I've a strong back and can get it out of any ruts. I suspect Narfi wanted to go slowly for his own reasons.'

She shook her head in amazement. She hadn't considered that. ‘How long have you have been thinking about this?'

‘When something is right, instinct guides you.' He put his hand on the small of her back. ‘I'm well skilled at moving armies. Getting you and the children to the coast is little different.'

‘A family is very different to an army. You are going to be those children's father, not their commander.'

‘We need to go to Jorvik by another route,' Thrand said, changing the subject.

Cwen frowned and allowed it to go. But she silently resolved to make sure he understood his new role. ‘Another route?'

‘I hardly want to take the two children near to Hagal's holdings. We know they are looking for us and we barely managed to slip through their net. It will take a little longer and we will have to go closer to Lingwold than I would like, but it is either your brother who does not know we are there or facing Hagal who is looking for us.'

‘Go past Lingwold, but never stop?'

‘Do you trust your brother with the children? With me? We both know he wants my hide nailed to a church door. You send the message just before setting sail for Iceland.'

Cwenneth pursed her lips. Thrand was right. They couldn't take the risk. Her brother wanted Thrand's head. He'd act and then ask questions. He might even believe the rumours about the kidnapping. ‘The last thing I want is Edward making trouble. I'll trust your judgement on this.'

‘Spoken like a true wife.'

‘They won't take you for Thrand the Destroyer.' She linked her arm with his. ‘You will have a wife and two children. Something the Destroyer would never have.'

‘Then it is good that I am the man and not the legend.'

His laughter rumbled in the quiet evening. Cwen found it hard to equate this man with the silent stranger who had arrived at the farm only a few hours before. She had to hope his instinct was correct and that they would be safe.

Chapter Twelve

‘P
lease, sir, what is Aud to call you?' Hilde tugged at Thrand's shirt after they had travelled a few miles in the grey early-morning mist.

The cart went little faster than a slow walk, but it allowed the children to rest. They had also been able to take some bedding and a bit of food. Progress was slow but manageable.

‘Why are you asking?'

‘He is worried and too shy to ask.'

Thrand looked down at the little girl. His experience with females was limited and with girls he had next to none. There had been only him and a few male cousins when he was growing up. He glanced at Cwen to see if she would answer, but she was occupied with readjusting Aud's pack.

The boy had wanted to take all of his treasures and Cwen had managed to get it down to his most precious feathers and stones, but he wanted to carry it rather than storing it in the cart. Both Aud and Hilde had decided at the last stop to walk for a little ways. Thrand hadn't objected as the going was muddy and it took all his concentration to keep the cart going.

‘Call me?'

The girl dropped her voice and glanced over her shoulder. ‘A special name. People in families have special names for each other. And we're a family now.'

A family. The girl's words caused the enormity of what he'd done on impulse to wash over him. The warrior who had resolutely resisted any complication or entanglement had voluntarily saddled himself with two young children and a woman. These people depended on him for their survival.

He frowned. He just had to approach it as though they were members of his
felag
, rather than his family. He had kept his men safe in the past.

‘It all happened so fast that I haven't given it much thought.' He gave Cwen a questioning glance. She nodded encouragingly. He found it impossible to get rid of the impression that she had put Hilde up to this. She wanted to test him. ‘Most people call me Thrand. And Cwen answers to Cwen. It is best to keep things simple.'

Hilde's face fell and she let go of his shirt. ‘I wanted Aud to have a special name for you. It will make it more like Aud and I are truly brother and sister.'

‘We're going to Iceland,' he said, watching Aud struggle slightly with the pack. ‘It makes more sense to use the Norse words rather than the Northumbrian words. You are Norse now. Use those.'

‘And the proper words are...' Cwen lifted both the protesting Aud and his pack into the cart. ‘The children won't know the words and I don't either. Maybe you can teach us all Norse so we can speak the language before we get to Iceland.'

He clenched his fists, feeling his own inadequacy. He should have said the words to begin with. And he should have thought about lifting the boy in the cart. ‘
Mor
for mother and
Far
for father.'

‘Yes, they can use those words,' Cwen said. Her brow puckered. ‘It is silly, but...I'm pleased they are not the same in Northumbrian.'

A knife went through Thrand's heart. She still clung to her dead family.

‘Can you practise, Hilde?' he asked deliberately turning from Cwen.

‘Yes,
Far
.' The girl gave a little curtsy and laughed. Aud laughed as well and took up the chant—
far, far, far
.

‘No, you have it wrong. One
far
, not two.'

‘Did they go too far with the
fars
?' Cwen asked with an innocent expression on her face.

Her pun sent the children off into fresh peals of laughter.

‘Just one
Far
,' Thrand explained, trying to keep a straight face. He knew he should strive to be like his father—dignified and remote so he could instil discipline, but a large part of him wanted the ease that Cwen had. ‘
Far-far
means something else.'

‘What does
Far-far
mean?' Cwen asked. ‘Or don't I want to know?'

‘Grandfather. My father.'

Thrand paused. His father had been a remote figure and had left most of the child rearing to his mother. Thrand knew in that instant that it was not what he wanted. He didn't want to be the person who always laid down the law and seemed perfect. He knew his imperfections too well. It was one thing to be called
Far
and quite another thing to actually be a father. He remembered vowing that when he had been punished for some minor misdemeanour.

‘Is it the same for all grandfathers?' Hilde wondered.

‘No, Cwen's father would be
Mor-far
. It means mother's father.' Thrand frowned as the girl continued to look perplexed. ‘It is how you tell who belongs to whom.
Far-mor
would be my mother, while
Mor-mor
would be Cwen's mother. It is very simple really. Logical.'

‘Shall we play a game, children?' Cwen asked. ‘You say a word and then Thrand will give us the Norse word. It can help to pass the time.'

‘If we are going to play, I had better have Aud on my shoulders so he can see properly.' Without giving the boy a chance to protest, Thrand swung him up. It felt natural to have the boy grab hold of his hair and cling on.

They continued that way for a little while, but then Aud decided he wanted down and began to kick hard. Thrand stopped and took him down. The boy ran to hold Hilde's hand and they started chatting away.

Cwen quickened her steps until she was level with him. ‘Thank you,' she said in an undertone.

‘What, for picking Aud up? It is the best solution. He doesn't weigh much and he can see better from up here. Carts used to make my stomach ache when I was little.'

‘No, for giving them a special name for me which isn't
mama
. I had been racking my brain, and you came up with the right answer.'

‘Cwen, I can't imagine the heartache of losing a child, but I do know that these children are not seeking to replace your son in your heart.'

‘How did you become so wise suddenly?'

‘I've served under different commanders over the years. Some good, some not so good. There is always a period of adjustment. Our group is like a
felag
.'

‘A
felag
rather than a family. Do you see yourself as our commander?'

‘I see myself as a father. I know the difference.' Thrand looked straight ahead. ‘I wonder if my own father did.'

She put her hand on his sleeve. ‘I'm determined to keep my end of the bargain and be a good mother.'

‘You will find a way.' He cupped her cheek. ‘I believe in you.'

‘And I believe in you and finding a way to be a father rather than a commander.'

‘Can someone help?
Mor? Far?
' Hilde called out. ‘Aud has fallen in a muddy puddle.'

Thrand turned towards where the little boy stood, rubbing his eyes and covered in mud. He rolled his eyes as Cwen gave a long sigh.

‘Problem?'

‘I had forgotten about this part of parenting,' Cwenneth said and waited for Thrand's explosion. Aefirth had always hated it when Richard was deliberately naughty and if the way Thrand had reacted yesterday when he first met Aud was any indication, she was in for a long day.

Thrand raised an eyebrow. ‘Aud seems to attract dirt. He can bathe when we stop. For now take some of the cloth I planned to give Maeri and wipe the worst off.'

She stared at him dumbfounded. ‘I thought you would be upset about it.'

‘It was hardly Aud's fault. He didn't ask to fall into a puddle.'

‘I think the pair were fooling around,' Cwenneth confessed. ‘I heard giggling just before it happened.'

Thrand stopped. ‘Is that true, Hilde?'

She scraped her toe in the dirt. ‘It was an accident, but we were playing.'

Cwenneth watched a variety of emotions cross Thrand's face. Finally, he gave a rich laugh. He stopped suddenly and shook his head a little.

‘Before I knew you, I barely laughed. Some questioned if I even could. I see now that I had simply forgotten how to.'

Her heart expanded at the words. She did mean something to him. She put her hand to his cheek and felt the faint rasp of bristles. ‘I hope you will laugh often in Iceland, but what are we going to do about this deliberate naughtiness?'

All merriment vanished from his face.

‘I can't do this,' he confessed in an undertone. ‘If I lose my temper, I'll frighten the children.'

She stared at him and knew what he was asking and how much it must have cost to ask.

‘He will have to ride in the cart if he is naughty. If he is good, he can walk or ride on your shoulders.' Cwen patted Myrkr's neck and tried to keep her voice sounding practical. But her stomach churned. It was wrong that she wanted more of him than he was willing to give.

* * *

The faint stench of smoke hung in the air. Cwenneth wrinkled her nose. It was far more than chimney smoke from a farm or village.

She glanced towards Thrand. His easy-going stance of a few moments ago had vanished.

‘Can you take Myrkr's bridle?'

‘What is going on?' Cwen asked, keeping her voice low. The last thing she wanted to do was to frighten the children.

‘Impossible to say.' Thrand nodded. ‘We keep going forward but be prepared to go into the woods on your left.'

Cwen nodded. They went around a bend and saw the remains of what had been a farmhouse. The small plume of smoke rose in the air. Cwenneth's stomach clenched. Someone had burnt the entire farm including the barns to the ground, and there was the distinct smell of cooked meat. Whoever had done it had not bothered to take the livestock.

‘Was it raiders?' Hilde asked, sitting bolt upright.

‘Why would there be raids here, honey?' Cwen said. ‘We are near the borders of Lingwold and the lord signed a peace treaty with the Norsemen.'

‘Not all raiders are Norse,' Thrand commented. ‘Even if the Northumbrians would like to think they are.'

‘Well, what do you think?'

Thrand shrugged. ‘Wrong season.'

‘A tragic accident, then?' Cwenneth put her hand to her throat.

‘Stay here with the children.' Thrand unsheathed his sword. ‘I will check and see if there are any clues. If there are raiders about, it is better we know about them and plan for it.'

‘And if anyone needs help...'

‘If you hear me shout, get the children away from here. Leave the cart.'

‘Off to the left.'

‘Correct. I will find you.'

‘Will you?'

‘I'll always find you, Cwen.'

He went towards the farm. Cwenneth lifted the children down from the cart and stood with her arms about them. Aud stuck his thumb in his mouth and stood watching with big eyes as Thrand cautiously made his way over to the smouldering remains. Silently she prayed that he would come back and say that it was just a fire, probably started by a cooking pot.

‘What is
Far
going to do?' Hilde asked, leaning into her.

‘He is going to make sure that everyone is all right. And that we can travel on past without a problem.' Cwenneth silently willed Thrand to return.

‘Who did this?' Hilde whispered. ‘Bad men?'

Every instinct in Cwenneth's body told her that it was Hagal's work, but it made no sense. He should be well to the southwest of here. Edward would never do such a thing. He would not burn people's houses and claim it was the Norse.

‘Everyone has left.' Thrand returned far quicker than she had thought he would.

‘No...no bodies...'

‘A fresh grave in a little graveyard. I reckon the attack happened about two days ago.' His deep-blue gaze met hers. ‘And it was an attack, Cwen. I found the marks of a double axe on the door and several arrows. Whoever lived here didn't stand a chance.'

‘We were supposed to be at peace.' Cwenneth shook her head in disbelief. ‘Things like this were not supposed to happen any more. We wanted time to recover from the war.'

‘We don't know who did this.'

‘The Norse warriors are the only ones who use double axes. It is supposed to be the hallmark of Thrand the Destroyer.'

A faint dimple shone in the corner of his mouth. ‘Funny that. I believe he was otherwise occupied.'

‘I know that. You know that, but the villagers around here will not know that. This slaughter will add to the legend of Thrand the Destroyer.'

‘We will be keeping away from villages, then.' Thrand gave Hilde and Aud a significant look. Cwenneth knew precisely what he was thinking. It would be very easy for one of the children to blurt out his name. Hilde seemed particularly loyal.

‘It would be for the best.'

‘The last thing we want is someone recognising me and blaming me. I'm not saying that I am proud of everything that I have done, but I did it in battle against a known enemy. Yes, I have raided, but we were at war. You understand the difference.'

Cwen's stomach knotted, and she gave a small nod. ‘You think Hagal did this, but why would he? He signed a treaty with my brother.'

‘He broke it when he tried to have you murdered.' Thrand put his sword back in its scabbard. ‘I don't pretend to know what is in that man's head. It is none of my concern now. All this...' he gestured about the ruined farmhouse ‘...all this is someone else's problem. If your brother can't tell honest men from rogues, I pity his people, but I feel no pity for him.'

‘I think we had better get going. Put some distance between us and this.'

Aud's stomach gave a loud rumble.

‘Aud is hungry,' Hilde announced with great importance.

‘As soon as we can we will get you some food.' Cwen placed Aud and Hilde up on Myrkr, glad to have something to do. Concentrating on getting the children fed would keep her mind from worrying about why Hagal had decided to torch that farmhouse.