Harlequin Medical Romance December 2015, Box Set 1 of 2 (10 page)

CHAPTER NINE

“I
HAVE
TO
go home
.”

Abbie stood over her baby's cot, gripping some kind of small bottle.

“What do you mean you have to go home? What about Marissa?”

“Mum rang me this morning. Jerry is in hospital. He has pneumonia.”

Jess's heart dropped. Her four-year-old nephew. “Oh, God, I'm sorry. What about Martin?”

Her twin's head turned in her direction for a second, but there was no accusation in her eyes for once. “He'll come with me, of course, and then it's back to work for him tomorrow.”

“Already?”

Abbie nodded. “He cut short a business trip to come to Cambridge. There are some things he needs to tie up before he can officially go on paternity leave. He didn't expect the baby to...arrive when she did.”

Guilt surrounded Jess once again. “I'm so sorry for what happened.”

“I think I'm being punished.” The words were spoken with a quiet resignation that gave Jess pause.

Her sister had been quick enough to blame her for this last week. What had changed?

“Why would you say something like that?”

“Two of my children are now sick.” She shifted the bottle from one hand to the other. Jess tilted her head and peered at it a bit closer.

Concealer.

Was she putting on makeup here in the SCBU? When she moved her glance back to her sister's face, all that met her were dark circles and mussed hair. Her sister was always so sure of herself. So careful about her appearance.

Something seemed off.

Well, she had two children in hospital. Any mother would be frantic—feeling torn between the two of them, whether to stay or whether to go.

Jess laid her hand on the top of the special-care cot. “You're not being punished. And I'll keep an eye on her, Abbie. If anything at all comes up, I'll ring you immediately.”

“Every day. Please ring me every day.”

One of the other babies cried and a nurse came in to check on him before Jess could move. “I will. She's so very precious, isn't she?”

She looked down at the tiny human, eyes tracing over the rise and fall of her chest. The kick of a little leg. The one that had...

The birthmark. It was gone. Jess leaned a little closer.

No. It wasn't gone. That was what the concealer was for. All traces of compassion rushed away like a torrent. “You put makeup on her leg? What is wrong with you, Abbie?”

Abbie dropped into the chair and covered her face with her hands. The other nurse finished what she was doing and then retreated to the far corner, probably wanting no part of what was likely to be a drama of the first order. It always seemed to be, where her sister was concerned.

“I...” Abbie tilted her head back to look at her, and Jess was shocked to see tears. “You have no idea what I've done.”

Were they still talking about the concealer? Her sister had mentioned being punished. Did she think the birthmark was part of that?

“What is it, then?” And where in the world was Martin? Shouldn't he be here with his wife, if they were leaving?

She handed the bottle to Jess. “It's not what you think. I don't want the baby to pay for what I did.”

“You didn't do anything. And you can't cover up her birthmark. It's just a tiny spot. I don't understand why it's such a big deal.”

Her sister sighed. “Martin works so much. It seems like he's always off on some business trip. I used to wonder if he was coming to see you.”

“Of course he wasn't. I would never do that to you. Or to anyone.” Something churned in her stomach, and she wasn't sure she really wanted to hear any more.

Abbie's mouth tightened. “You always were the perfect one.”

“Please don't.”

“I'm sorry.” She stood up and seemed to pull herself back together. “Martin is packing my things now, and we leave in two hours. You'll ring me?”

“Of course.” She handed the bottle back to Abbie. “I know you're not asking me to put this on her.”

“No. It was just stupidity on my part.” She curled her fingers around the concealer, knuckles showing white. “I'll let you know when we arrive in London.”

“And please let me know how Jerry is. Give him a gentle hug from his Aunt Jess.”

She needed to make more of an effort to visit her nephews. Even if she and Abbie didn't always get along, the boys shouldn't have to pay the price.

“I will.” Abbie unexpectedly wrapped her in a tight hug. “I'm sorry. For everything. I hope someday you'll understand.”

At the moment, Jess didn't understand anything, except that her sister was hurting and for the first time was letting her share that burden just a little. Feeling a little weepy and out of sorts herself after what had happened with Dean on the ice two days ago, she put her arms around her sister and squeezed her right back.

There was hope. There had to be. For Abbie. And for her.

* * *

Isabel Delamere was posting a flier of some type on the staff board. An Australian obstetrician who'd been seconded to Cambridge Royal Hospital, Isabel had quickly become a part of daily life in the maternity unit.

Dean moved in to take a closer look at the paper. Something about a staff Christmas party. His brows went up. “Haven't we had a couple of those already?”

She smiled at him. “A couple. But one was for prospective adoptive parents in Aaron Cartwright's program. Hope Sanders and Bonnie Reid helped organise it. But we haven't had anything for just the staff yet. A few people felt we needed a more adult type of party.”

When Dean's brows crept even higher, she laughed. “Not that kind of party. Just a fancy venue with pretty frocks, flashy tuxes and lots of festivity.” A shadow passed across her face. “Some of us could really use that right about now.”

She was right. He'd been tense for the last couple of days, ever since that kiss with Jess at the ice-skating arena. He'd spent that night in bed, his imagination exploding at what might have happened had he just kept his mouth shut.

As a result he'd become more and more irritable. And frustrated. He'd found himself in the strange position of lusting after someone he shouldn't have.

He knew it would be the worst kind of mistake. But that didn't stop his head from picturing it, in explicit detail.

Speak of the devil. Here she came. Head down as if she were going to power past him without a glance. Except that Isabel called out to her, waving her over.

And over she came. Shoulders hunched. Arms stiff at her sides. As if heading to an execution.

Isabel nodded at the poster. “We're quite late getting this under way, but were hoping you could help spread the word.” The other woman touched her arm. “And maybe even get us a head count? You'll be there, right?”

Looking at the writing and the bright image of a huge fancy Christmas tree, Jess drew in a quick breath. “It's at the Sarasota?”

“Yes, super posh, so wear something fancy.” Isabel waved a sheaf of papers. “Well, I have more of these to get up. If you could let me know how many you think can make it, that would be fab. I expect to see you there.” With that, she was off on her next mission.

Dean studied Jess's face. It was as if she couldn't stop staring at the poster. “What is it?”

“That's where my parents had their anniversary party.” Light brown eyes closed, and she swallowed. “I'll never be able to forget that night. Or what happened.”

Moving closer, he looped an arm around her shoulders. “I'm sorry.”

“I can't go. I know it'll disappoint Isabel, but—”

“I think you should go.”

“What?”

“Face it head-on. Replace bad memories with something more pleasant. Otherwise, every time you hear the hotel's name, you'll associate it with what happened.”

If anyone knew that, it was him. Just like the tonic water he'd forced himself to down at Jess's place. It had ended up being a good thing, the newer memory supplanting some of the ones from his past. Maybe Jess could do the same thing. Replace a bad memory with a not so bad memory. “I'll go with you, if it'll help.”

When storm clouds formed in her eyes, he shook his head. “Not for a photo op, but as a friend. If you get there and realize you can't handle being there, we'll leave.” He stepped in front of her and tilted her chin. “No one should have to face something like this alone. Not if you don't have to.”

The air seemed to crackle between them for several seconds, and then she drew a big breath. Nodded. “Thank you. I think I'll take you up on it.” She paused. “If you're sure?”

Letting go of her, he took a step back, afraid he might be tempted to lean closer and capture that satiny mouth with his.

“Very sure.” Maybe this would help ease the tension between them and drop them back on safer ground. He grinned, a sense of relief flowing through him. “I haven't worn a tuxedo in ages. This gives me a good excuse to put on something besides a lab coat or scrubs.”

Jess glanced down at her own blue medical garb and smiled up at him. “It will be fun to let my hair down for a while.”

Her blonde hair was pulled back in its customary ponytail, that gray streak looking like an exclamation point that had been tipped on its side. Bold. Unapologetic. She could have dyed it to go with the rest of her hair, and yet she let it run free—like an inner wild child who refused to be tamed or subdued.

He liked it. Glad that she'd left it natural. He took his thumb and ran it over the narrow strip of hair until he got to the elastic in back. “Isabel said the party would do everyone some good. She might be right.”

Before he could even think about what he was doing, he touched her cheek and continued, “Don't worry, we'll make sure Marissa is well cared for while we're there.”

She bit her lip. “That reminds me. Abbie is going home. One of her other children is ill.” He listened without speaking as Jess filled him in on what was happening in short choppy phrases.

“She did what?” He couldn't help but interrupt when she mentioned her sister had put makeup on the baby. “Why would she? There's always a danger of contamination.”

“I know. And she acted oddly once I'd realized what she'd done. Like she wanted to tell me something, but changed her mind.”

“What do you think it was?”

“I have no idea. But I have a feeling it has to do with Martin.”

At that, Dean frowned. Surely Abbie wasn't accusing her sister of going after him again. “How so?”

Reaching back, she tightened her ponytail. “She talked about him working so much. I think she suspects he's having an affair. But then she talked about the problems with Marissa being a punishment for something. Something
she'd
done.”

“If she thinks Martin is the one having the affair...” Another staff member murmured an apology as they went to move past them to look at the flier. Dean eased Jess over to the side.

“Maybe she feels like she drove him away somehow.” Jess glanced toward the ceiling. “I have no idea. I told her I'd look after Marissa until she gets back. She's written up a power of attorney so that I can make medical decisions for the baby, if something terrible happens. I just hope I don't have to. I want her to grow and thrive.”

“It's what we all want. For each and every one of those babies.”

Including the preemie from the eclampsia case. So far the baby was hanging in there, despite the odds.

“You're incredibly good at what you do.” Jess's soft voice held a sincerity that made him swallow.

“Thank you. We all do our best.”

“No. I think it's more than that. You have a drive that I don't see in every doctor. Yes, they care about their patients, but there's something different about the way you go about it.”

Too close. He didn't want her looking inside and seeing his own shattered childhood. Or realizing how scared and alone he'd felt during his years at home. As devastated as he'd been by his mother's abandonment, in a way it had come as a relief. He'd become self-reliant. No longer depending on anyone other than himself.

Staring at the one woman who might be able to see beneath his flirty, carefree mask, he forced himself to push it on a little tighter. “I'm just doing what I was trained to do. Helping my patients get the very best medical care available. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

Less. Now there was a good word. One that was beginning to sound better and better.

As in seeing less of Jess.

And as soon as that Christmas party was over, he was going to retreat to his own little self-reliant corner, and this time he would make sure he stayed there.

CHAPTER TEN

“Y
OU
TWO
LOOK
adorable together. You have no idea how long your father and I have waited for this.”

Her mum's voice made tears spring to her eyes. Staring at the upper right-hand corner of her computer where a slideshow of the shots she'd sent were blinking past one after the other, she had to admit, it all looked far too real.

The pictures of them beside Thor had a spontaneity that she certainly hadn't felt when she'd been standing there. But her face was pink, her teeth digging into her lower lip, while Dean's eyes held a mischievous glow that transported her back to that day. He'd just finished telling her where the horse's name had come from. And Cliff had caught the moment perfectly.

And the ice skating. Dean had handed his phone over to that stranger and they'd staged another scene. This one had him standing behind her, arms wrapped around her waist. Jess's head was tilted back so that she leaned against his shoulder. If she closed her eyes, she could almost smell that earthy, manly scent that had drifted past her nose as she'd stood within the circle of his arms.

She'd wanted him in that moment. Desperately. The fact that she would just be one more woman on an ever-growing list hadn't seemed to matter. It was getting harder and harder to convince her body that sleeping with him would be a big mistake. Especially now, when she couldn't quite remember why that was.

“Well, don't marry us off just yet.” What else could she say? They weren't getting married. Ever. And there really wasn't a need to keep pretending. Abbie had already left and so had Martin.

But they had to come back to get the baby, didn't they?

“Even I can read the writing on the wall.” Her father's smile came through the video chat. They'd convinced him, evidently.

Unfortunately, she'd almost convinced herself as well, which would be a royal disaster. She did not need to get caught up in the fairy tale Dean had spun for her family. If she did, she might never be able to free herself again.

An image of Dean crouched in the corner of an enormous web, waiting to devour her, came to mind.

Only when he climbed toward her—making his way along the sticky fibers of the trap he'd spun—he didn't have the menace of a spider...but that of a lover. The same man who'd held her on that ice, his strong arms binding her to him. What if sleeping with him set her free from that web? Because what was really holding her there were all of those
what-would-it-be-like?
thoughts that kept going through her mind.

Like the ones filling her mind right now.

No. Can't happen.

He only wanted to satisfy his physical needs.

And she didn't?

Hmm...maybe putting a stop to his advances at the pub hadn't been such a smart idea, after all. What better person to teach her about casual sex than the king of casual sex: Dean Edwards?

What would be so terrible about that, really, if they both knew where things stood?

That wasn't what she'd thought all those nights ago.

She shook her head to clear it, realizing her parents were still staring at her.

The writing. Her dad had said he could see the writing on the wall.

“We're not going to rush into anything. We're both busy people.”

“Not too busy to get married and have a family, surely?” her mum protested.

She had a point as far as that was concerned. Jess didn't make much time for her personal life. Ever since she and Martin had broken things off, she hadn't wanted to date or do anything else for that matter. Which was why she allowed herself to be talked into working extra shifts. She was so knackered on most nights she went home and fell right into bed—alone.

And forty years from now, would she be settled into the same routine? Or maybe she'd have ninety-nine cats to keep her warm in bed.

Dean had been so sweet after her reaction to the Christmas party's venue. He could have easily found a date for the evening. Instead, he'd offered to go with her and leave whenever she'd had enough. He'd put her feelings ahead of his own.

Would he be as attentive in bed?

Jess shivered. She had no doubt he would be an excellent lover. How else would he have gotten the reputation he had? If he were a jerk about things afterward, surely she would have heard about it? But no. Women swooned over him.

“We're trying to play things by ear, Mum. These things can't be hurried.”

Her mother made a scoffing sound. “Your sister has quite a head start on you in the department of providing us with grandchildren.”

Jess tensed. “You're getting way ahead of yourself.”

Maybe her mother sensed something in her voice, because she came back with, “Of course I am. But speaking of children, how is my newest little granddaughter?”

“She's doing wonderfully. We're going to try to give her her first bottle this afternoon.”

“Abbie will be so pleased to hear it.”

Her father had gone silent in the background, but he was looking at her through the computer with a slight frown on his face, even as the pictures of her and Dean kept flashing by in another window of the screen.

Oh, no. She knew that expression. He was about to ask something tricky.

She tried to head things off at the pass. “How is Jerry doing? Is he still in hospital?”

“He is. He's quite ill, actually.” Her mum waved her hand in front of the screen when Jess's eyes widened. “His life isn't in danger, of course, but you can just tell he's poorly. Abbie did the right thing in coming home.”

“It couldn't have been an easy decision.” Her sister's behavior that last day still puzzled her. The whole putting makeup on the baby's leg and then those enigmatic words about being punished. But at least she finally seemed ready to make peace with their own personal past.

“It wasn't. All she talks about is going back for the baby once Jerry is well enough.”

“Marissa will be here for a couple more weeks, I should think. She still has a bit of weight to put on.”

“Jess.” Her father's voice pulled at her. “Are you happy?”

The question was so far removed from what they'd been talking about that it took her brain a moment or two to untangle the words. Once she did, they hit her between the eyes. She squirmed in her seat, hating that she was deceiving them like this. She should have just taken whatever Abbie dished out...except that Abbie was making not only herself miserable, but everyone around her. Going along with Dean's fib had seemed a small price to pay at the time. But it had grown into this gargantuan monster that required more lies to keep the original one from being discovered.

“He's a good man.” Words very much like the ones she'd said as she'd stood in front of that poster for the Christmas party. And it was true. Dean had been a good sport. It didn't hurt that he was also a great kisser. The memory of his lips moving across hers in front of her house came to mind. And then at the pub. On the ice.

She wanted to kiss him again. Wanted to find some measure of satisfaction in his arms.

Should she? He'd offered to leave the Christmas party early if she wanted to. What if she asked him to leave for a completely different reason?

Would he say yes?

After what she'd done at the pub? She had no idea.

“I didn't ask that.” Her dad wasn't going to let this alone evidently. “I asked if you were happy.”

Yes. She was. This time with Dean had brought her joy. He was fun, sexy, brave. And watching him cradle Marissa in those big hands had done a number on her heart. She was happy to have spent this time with him. Even if it never went any further.

“Yes. I'm happy. Does that satisfy you?”

Her mum sighed. “I can just see the love in your eyes when you say that.”

She could? Then Jess had better smack it right back out of there. She didn't love him.

Like him? Yes. Lust after him? Um, double yes.

That was what she'd been doing just moments ago. Lusting. Was she going to do something about it?

Maybe. For one night of hot sex.

Warmth swept along her inner thighs, setting areas to tingling that needed to remain still and quiet. She was on the phone with her parents, for goodness' sake.

“I'm sure Dean will be thrilled to hear you say that.” She didn't roll her eyes. At least not outwardly. But inside? Oh, yes, they were rolling all around like those fake glasses with the googly eyes.

Suddenly superstitious about everything that had happened, she crossed her fingers behind her back and hoped the universe took pity on her situation. The last thing she needed was for it to look down at her and decide to give her exactly what she deserved.

“Well, I'd probably better go. I need to go shopping for a dress for the Christmas party and I have a shift in the morning.”

“Christmas party?” Her mum's brows went up. “This is the first I've heard of this.”

“It's for the hospital staff. They're having it at the same hotel as your anniversary party, actually.”

“Such a beautiful place. Are you going with Dean?”

Finally. One thing she was not going to have to lie about. “I am.”

“Well, we definitely wouldn't want to keep you from shopping. Pick out something that will knock him dead.”

“Not too dead,” her dad interjected with a smile. “We want him alive and well.” His voice turned serious. “After that business with Martin, I'm glad you've found someone.”

Her heart ached all over again. Her dad had never quite forgiven her ex for breaking off their engagement, although he hid it well. But Jess saw glimpses of it every once in a while. Just a flash of narrowed eyes or a frown when he listened to his son-in-law, but she'd caught it, just the same.

“Dean's a peach, all right.” She forced a bright smile. “I've got to run, though. Chat again soon?”

“After the party, if not before.” Her mum planted a kiss on her husband's cheek. “We'll want to hear every detail.”

If Jess got the nerve up to do what she was thinking of doing, there would be at least one part of the evening her parents would never hear about.

Because she
had
made up her mind—at least she hoped so. She just needed to drum up the courage to follow through.

She was going to back Dean into a corner at that very posh hotel and ask him to spend the night with her. She did want a fling. A real one. Not with just anyone—and certainly not with some stranger from the pub—but with Dean. Maybe then she could stop obsessing about the man.

He did casual sex on a regular basis, so there'd be no chance of him getting the wrong idea about where they were headed afterward. Right?

So it was settled. She would do it.

And then she'd just hope and pray he didn't do what she'd done at that pub...and turn around and walk away.

* * *

She was feeding the baby.

Dean stood back against the wall and watched with interest, a lump forming in his throat. Jess didn't know he was here—not yet, anyway—he'd seen her through the window and quietly entered the SCBU through the side door. All her attention had been on the tiny infant cradled in her arms, cooing and talking softly to her. “Good girl. Mummy is going to be so happy to know you're drinking from your bottle.”

A few of the tubes had been removed this morning, once they knew for sure that the baby's suck reflex was going strong. Using a gloved pinkie finger, Dean had been thrilled when the infant's head had tracked the path of his finger, trying to root around and latch on. The next step had been to introduce the real thing.

And the baby had done it. She'd latched onto the bottle's teat and started sucking with enthusiasm.

That wasn't the only good news. The baby born to the woman with eclampsia was also improving in small steady increments. In fact, that baby was in the cot right next to Marissa's. Dean had come to check on him.

Jess murmured again and the knot in his throat tightened further. She was going to make such a good mother. Unlike his own, who'd been so young that she hadn't known her own mind. Or how to protect herself—and Dean—from the drunken fool she'd married.

He hadn't heard anything else about his father since he'd received the news that he'd been let out of prison. The one good thing was that his mum was long gone. He'd never be able to hurt her again. And Dean would make sure the man didn't get close enough to anyone he cared about to hurt them either.

Exactly who would that be? Dean had no one. And that was how he wanted to keep it.

His gaze traveled back to Jess, and he realized her light brown eyes were no longer focused on the baby. She was staring right at him, a question written in her gaze.

“What?” he mouthed.

She shook her head.

Quietly moving over to where she sat, he crouched down beside her. “How's she doing?”

Jess smiled. The sight almost knocked him over. There was a radiance to her eyes and a soul-searing happiness in the softness of her face that spoke of a woman in love.

He swallowed. No one had ever looked at him like that.

And even though he knew the expression was for the minute creature she held in her arms, he could pretend for just a few seconds what it might be like to have had a mum like this one.

Only Jess wasn't a mum. And this wasn't her child.

He shook himself back to reality.

“Brilliantly,” Jess murmured. “Just look at her.”

In order to stop staring at the woman, he did as she asked and glanced down at the baby. With a tiny tuft of light hair on her head and blue eyes that fixed on Jess's face, she sucked with quiet enthusiasm. A drop of white appeared at the outer corner of her lips and he reached for Jess's arm where the burping rag had slipped and used it to carefully dab at the speck.

On impulse, he leaned over and kissed the baby's head, smiling when she shifted as if irritated by the interruption. When his attention moved back to Jess, he was surprised to find her eyes moist.