Authors: Hope Navarre
Laughter filled her eyes. Good.
“My phone works just fine.”
He shook the small device. “Hmmm. Maybe mine's not.”
She stifled a laugh. “How did you know where I live?”
He stuffed his phone into his back pocket. “Rachel was still at the E.R. She was very helpful.”
Cassie opened the door wider. “I will have a word with Rachel for sharing personal information. Come in and say hello to my mother.”
Score. She was letting him in.
Her mother reached out a hand. “Nice to see you again, Peter. My name's Beth, in case you forgot.”
The welcoming pressure of her handshake was as genuine as her smile. “I remember. Sorry to intrude without notice.”
Beth motioned to the table. “We're just starting dinner. Would you like to join us?”
Timing was everything. Not only was he hungry, but staying for dinner would also give him more time with Cassie. One glace around the kitchen told him that this room reflected a lifetime of meals and shared moments. The urge to become part of those memories flooded him. He looked at Cassie. “Would you mind?”
Arms crossed, she stared at him. “No. Not at all.”
Not sure if he should believe her body language or her words, he smiled at Beth. “The food smells great. If I'm not intruding, I'd like that.”
While Beth got an extra plate from the cabinet, he reached for Cassie's hand. “How are you holding up?”
Cassie took her hand away. “I'm okay. Mom's been through this before so I have a good coach.”
Beth laid the plate on the table. “I'm a cancer survivor for twenty years, now. A rough go but the right attitude is everything. Help yourself to some clams. Lasagna and salad are next.”
He rubbed his hands together in appreciation. “Wow. A home-cooked meal. It's been weeks.”
“Well, I hope you enjoy it.” Beth smiled, and he knew from whom Cassie had inherited her beautiful smile.
When Beth sat, Peter asked, “What type of cancer?”
“Uterine. A battle, but I won.”
Cassie said, “When Mom started losing her hair, she shaved her head into a Mohawk.” She slapped a hand to her forehead. “Gawd, I was so embarrassed as a kid, but knowing what I do now, I admire her boldness.”
Beth laughed. “I think I bought a hundred scarves that year.”
“Sounds like you handled the challenge with humor, Beth. Congratulations on beating the disease.”
Beth cut into the lasagna. “I think the hardest part about dealing with cancer is trying to manage the emotions and expectations of everyone around you while fighting the disease. I don't know which struggle is worse.”
Peter put down his fork. “I never thought of that.”
“It's hard. Feeling my husband's fear while I was sick practically paralyzed me.” She slid a slice of lasagna onto Cassie's plate, then cut another one for Peter. “Being helplessly sick in front of my little girl was a torture all its own.” She gave Cassie a meaningful glance. “She was terrified, and I could do nothing to make her feel safe. I was too sick.”
Cassie reached for her mother's hand. “You taught me how to fight and survive. Afterward, you showed me how much fun it is to find the joy in every day.” She squeezed her mother's fingers. “Some lessons are hard to learn, but you taught me with dignity and grace.”
Peter's jaw practically fell open. He would have done anything to have a deep and honest conversation like this with his father. “You two are beautiful. I can see why Cassie is such an amazing woman.”
Beth smiled. “Cassie's beautiful personality has nothing to do with me.”
“Hey, you wanna bet?” Cassie stuffed her hands on her hips in mock outrage.
Peter gestured to Cassie. “I've been around Cassie for the past two weeks, and I see the effect she has on everyone around herâthe patients, Rachel, Doc, the other nurses. She's like magic. Now that I've met you, and given what Cassie has told me, I think I have to agree with Cassie. You must have been an excellent role model.”
Beth grinned. “Well, Cassie. I can see why you are entertaining this man's company.”
Peter swallowed, nervous. He didn't want to go too deep here, but he wanted to make his point. “That's why I came here tonight.” He turned to Cassie. “I got the distinct feeling that you're going to dodge my friendship if you develop health issues. I wanted to tell you that there's no way in hell I'm going to let that happen. Not now.”
Beth looked from Peter to Cassie. “Oh, dear, sweetheart. I see his point. Friends are important.”
“Hey.” Cassie flushed, anger lighting her eyes. “First of all, nurse
coworker,
you just delivered too much information. Second, and quite honestly, should my medical plight exist, I don't want to involve you because it isn't any of your business.”
Damn. The room got hot. Cassie just blew him off, and Beth was glancing from him to her daughter. Okay, he'd eat crow. He held up a hand. “Sorry. You are absolutely right. I'm out of line for wanting to be here for you.”
She took a moment to sip her water, but he wasn't fooled. Anyone could see she was miffed with him. “Actually, you
are
out of line coming here. I appreciate your concern but it's a little overblown.”
He stared at her. This sounded more like a dump, but what had she been doing? Toying with him? Leading him on for shits and giggles? This was not the time and place to hammer out their new feelings for each other. Clearly, she cherished her independence as much as she depended on others. But which was it? Damn. He was confused. He stood, embarrassed as hell. “My apologies for intruding on your family time. My mistake. If you'll excuse me.”
He put his napkin next to his plate and headed out the door, leaving a wake of silence behind him. Damn. Damn. Damn. He'd just made the world's biggest ass of himself. Cassie Michaels was driving him crazyâand they'd only started dating. And that was what was wrong. They hadn't had the luxury of time to build the trust he wanted her to have in him more than anything in the world.
He put his truck into Drive. He had to do some soul-searching. Was he truly attracted to the blond bombshell, or was he so strung out from all the crap he had left behind in California that a connection with a woman like Cassie was something he craved to kill the emptiness? Was the attraction not Cassie? Was he just abysmally lonely?
He already knew that answer. Yes, he was lonely. No denying that fact, but loneliness had nothing to do with Cassie. There was something about her that he'd never seen before in any of the women he'd known. Sweetness. A beauty from within that made her drop-dead gorgeous face and body seem unrealâand he'd had an up-close-and-personal chance to know for a fact that she was
very
real. Just hearing her voice before seeing her when he regained consciousness after the accident had set waves of warmth through himâeven before he knew who she was.
How did relationships work, for God's sake? All he knew so far were great beginnings. All those good feelings, exploring new ground with a new woman, were exhilarating. But usually he discovered that eventually he was the one doing all the giving. He'd end up exhausted and drained. Craving solitude instead of companionship because the woman simply became too much work. Her needs became so much greater than his, tipping the balance of emotional gratification away from him.
He'd had enough counseling to know he had been mirroring his parents' relationship. He never wanted to have a life like his parents had experienced. He'd been out there enough to know the difference. Like most guys, he wanted one woman to loveâa down-home, sexy, intelligent, beautiful and emotionally sound woman who had as much to offer him as he had to give. No games. No conditional love. He thought he saw this prospect in Cassie. God in heaven, he hoped he wasn't wrong.
He drove the dark, curving road back to his house, shaking his head. Yes, he was pursuing her. Yes, they'd both admitted to flirting. Had she forgotten that she was the one to invite the first kiss? Okay, he'd just made a huge blunder arriving unannounced at a crucial moment in his new girlfriend's life. But, hey, hadn't she told him that friends helped each other? Damn. He was confused. He could only conclude that he'd come on too strong. Okay. He'd claim guilt, but did she have to use a sledgehammer to shut him down?
* * *
T
EN
MINUTES
LATER
,
Cassie pulled into Peter's driveway to see him still sitting in his truck. Her headlights illuminated his silhouette in the driver's seat. He turned and looked, shielding his eyes from the glare. She turned off the Jeep and the lights disappeared.
She watched Peter watch her in his rearview mirror. He just sat there. She didn't blame him if he didn't want to talk to her. She'd been pretty tough. He was trying to be a friend without being a boyfriend, saying as little as possible in front of her mother, and she'd sent him packing.
If she hadn't been feeling a growing emotional investment in Peter, would she have been kinder when he offered her support? What was she afraid of?
That was an easy answer. Except for Doc and Ellen, who were a second marriage, most of the married couples she knew eventually settled into a state of comfortable neglect. Rachel and Huey, for example, together since high school, were married for over twenty years. The two obviously loved each other, but sometimes Rachel tossed out comments that she wasn't getting enough attention from her husband.
Even her parents seemed to have become caught in a routine that lost its spark. Mom and Dad shared an enjoyable camaraderieâand Cassie was sure they still fooled aroundâbut despite the smiles and sense of comfort between them, something seemed missing. They appeared happy, but every once in a while Mom would say something about Dad not being around for her. Cassie couldn't help but believe these women needed more from their husbandsâand didn't know how to ask for it.
God knew that if Cassie were to ever fall in love again, she'd want sparks flying between her and her man until their great grandkids complained that they never stopped kissing.
She had yet to see an undying attraction in any relationship. Granted, she once thought it possible with Kyle but they had been young, he was gone too soon, and with him went her belief in happily ever after. She preferred surrounding herself with people who needed and loved her. Gathering all her love for one person had proven way too risky. Peter was putting himself out there, taking the chance to get to know her, and she was letting her fears slap him down.
She should rethink her fears. Perhaps they were getting in the way of her happiness.
Peter stepped from his truck, and she lowered the window as he walked toward the car. She'd rehearsed an apology, but all thought shot out of her head as she watched him approach her. My Lord, he was one gorgeous man in motion.
He walked up to the window. “Are you lost?”
She smiled. She had used the same line when he had shown up on her doorstep.
“We need to talk.”
He shook his head. “It's okay, Cassie. I need to air my head. Maybe you should go.”
“I was rude, Peter. I apologize.”
“No, you were right. I was sticking my nose where it doesn't belong. Don't worry about it. I'll see you tomorrow.”
She blew out a breath. “Come on. Get in. Let's talk.”
He sniffed the air. “I smell lasagna.”
She motioned to the bag on the passenger seat. “Mom wants you to eat your dinner before it gets cold.”
He laughed. “Your mother is very nice.”
“Yes, she is. Now, please, are you going to make me beg you to get in?”
He cocked his head. “Would you?”
She would, as much as she hated to admit it. “I told you I wasn't available tonight. You shouldn't have come over.”
He nodded. “I see that now...but, after you left me at Mike's, I couldn't help but think you'd just dumped me. I had to find out. Especially after we've agreed to date.”
He stood there unmoving. Watching her. She felt like squirming in her seat under his scrutiny. She really wasn't a bitch. She was just scared about the biopsy and rattled by the intensity of her new feelings for him, and not sure how to handle either one.
“I'm usually not so thoughtless, Peter. I promise.”
He shook his head. “And I've been pushing you too hard, Cassie. I'm sorry. You're becoming important to me and I want to be here for you if things get tough.”
“I understand that now. Thank you.”
He watched her a moment longer. “Just let me get something straight.”
“Okay.”
“Are you cutting me loose?”
Oh, God. The moment of truth. Logic commanded that she say yes and clear the playing field to deal with her medical issues. If she didn't, she'd be letting him into her world. Completely. Her mind nudged her to break the attraction off now until she had a clearer picture of what, if any, medical pitfall awaited her, but those eyes. That mouth. She didn't want him to stop looking at her. Talking to her. And heaven knew she wanted him to kiss her again.
She let his dark eyes read right down to her heart. “I cannot imagine cutting you loose, Peter.”
He released the breath he'd been holding. “That's good, Cassie.” He opened the door. “Why don't you come in? We can talk.”
She grabbed the bag of food and handed it to him. “You eat. I'll explain to you what you don't know about me.”
He reached for her hand, and she let him take it. The warmth of his palm, the strength of his fingers, offered reassurance. “Cassie, I know it's only been a short time since we've met. I wish we already had a year behind us so you'd know I'm someone you can depend on.”
She squeezed his hand. “You've rattled me right down to the bone, Peter.”