Authors: Rachel Brimble,Geri Krotow,Callie Endicott
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Series, #Harlequin Superromance
He sucked in a breath as the breadth of the push and pull inside him hit full-force. The certainty he wasn’t ready to be a dad had somehow disappeared when he wasn’t looking, and now undeniable hope Belle was his simmered deep in his soul.
He could’ve stayed with Carrie in her hotel room for hours, their arms and legs entwined, their bodies joined as one. His doubt of her telling the truth about Belle dissipated with each second they were together.
From the moment she walked into his garage, he felt connected to Carrie...now the lust was beginning to give way to something a whole lot deeper.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
A
FTER
HER
THIRD
cup of coffee in a small cafe, Carrie walked across town toward the library, buzzing from caffeine and laden with bags of Christmas gifts she couldn’t afford. Passing the day while waiting for DNA results initiated frivolous spending. She looked to the heavy gray-white clouds and predicted further snowfall by the evening. She smiled. Waking to glistening whiteness in the morning would only add to her festive feeling. Her steps were lighter and her heart happier than it had been for a long time. The shadow of Scott’s caresses lingered on her skin and his kisses smoldered like a brand on her lips.
She might be feeling better now, but she hadn’t slept entirely peacefully the night before. When Scott left her room, she dozed and then woke a couple of hours later. An hour-long marathon of tossing and turning under a blanket of guilt ensued. She’d slipped her wedding band back on her finger and removed it again more times than she could count.
Maybe Gerard wouldn’t have wanted her to spend the rest of her days alone and lonely, but she couldn’t imagine he’d want her tumbling under the sheets the way she had with Scott, either. Yet she’d waited to regret making love with Scott, had waited to start beating herself up for being so impulsive again...but hours later, remorse was yet to surface.
To say she felt sorry about even a second of her actions would be a lie. The moment had felt utterly right. Being in Scott’s arms and surrendering to the powerful feelings she had harbored for years, despite her love for Gerard, had brought moments of pure joy she’d never forget, whatever the future held. They were Belle’s parents. They’d made a beautiful child together. Their reunion was bittersweet, and Carrie prayed Gerard looked down and gave his blessing.
She blinked back tears and lifted her chin.
Today was a new day and she’d wait for Scott’s call telling her when to meet him at the doctor’s office. She pressed her hand to her stomach. In the meantime, she’d go and spend some time at the local library.
As Carrie strolled along the street, she couldn’t help but notice the sidelong glances of several people, teemed with the blatant stares of others. She swallowed and pretended not to notice. Templeton was most definitely a small town and, as much as she’d enjoyed the hen weekend, it was a place she wouldn’t want to raise Belle. The feeling it gave her was that of a closed community—one in which outsiders would never truly be welcome.
She stared down one particularly openly hostile-looking woman about her age as unease niggled inside her. Could this be another of Scott’s lovers? Carrie snatched her gaze away.
It was more than Amanda insinuating Scott’s womanizing that made Carrie worry she’d be a fool to trust her instinct that she meant more to him than the others. Even though her heart longed to explore what burned between them. She was independent before Belle and she was independent now. Gerard had been her partner, not her savior. She’d fallen in love and welcomed him into her heart. She hadn’t been with him because she needed him. She’d loved him—and now everything in her heart told her she had fallen for Scott, too.
She marched on, confidence increasing her pace. Marian and Angela were the only two people in Templeton who’d made her waver against the feeling of a lingering phantom waiting in the wings to lynch her in this sleepy seaside town, and maybe their kindness should be at the forefront of her mind today when Scott knew for sure Belle was his.
Yet, for all her best intentions, Carrie couldn’t help but worry what mutually agreeable arrangement she and Scott would come up with in regard to Belle and her best interests. For a time, she’d been only too willing to imagine a scenario where Scott was the bad guy and she was the good mum who’d done the decent thing and tried to connect with him. What she envisioned hadn’t happened at all.
Scott not only wanted to see Belle, he’d made love to her mother like he wanted to do it again and again. There had been no running for cover or shirking his responsibilities. No nonchalance or doubt in the way he’d touched and talked with Carrie into the early hours. But where did they truly go from here?
She inwardly chastised herself. She was thinking too deeply, too fast. They needed to get Christmas done with their own families and then decide their relationship in the New Year. For now, all she wanted was to get to know Scott better and tell him everything he wanted to know about the daughter he never knew he had.
Life changed in a heartbeat—and it had a habit of happening to her more than most because of her impulsive decision-making. She refused to make another mistake. Whatever happened between her and Scott, romance or friendship, it had to be for keeps for Belle’s sake. There could be no in-between if she had any chance of protecting her from further heartbreak after already losing the only father she’d ever known.
The town’s ice rink came into view and Carrie’s worries scattered. “Wow.”
Having only seen the rink from a distance, she felt the true magic of it clearly needed to be seen up close. Smiling, she hitched her bag higher onto her shoulder and walked nearer, sliding her forearms onto the barrier running around its circumference. It was barely midday but the winter sun shone brightly, its beams dancing and playing on the surface of the ice and in the eyes of the children skating.
The pay booth in the corner was beautifully decorated in glittering golds and greens, and a gorgeous line of bells edged its eaves. Carrie smiled, her heart warm. Despite her internal worries, she couldn’t deny the beauty of Templeton, whether in winter or summer.
The smiles on the children’s faces and the delight of their mothers as they skated or called to them from behind the barrier brought Belle deeper and deeper into Carrie’s heart and mind.
I miss you, baby.
Tears burned and Carrie hastily wiped them away just as her cell phone rang from inside her bag. She quickly extracted it and looked at the display. Michaela. Carrie grinned and pressed the talk button. “Hey, you.”
“Hi, yourself. Are you okay? You sound awfully pleased to hear from me.”
“I’m good. Right now I’m watching someone else’s kids having the time of their lives on the most beautiful ice rink.”
“How lovely.”
“It is and it’s making me think of Belle and how much I want to be with her. Have you seen Mum?”
“Yes, and Belle’s fine. I saw them in town yesterday and Belle is being spoiled rotten. Stop worrying about her and tell me what’s happening with Mr. Sexiness instead.”
Carrie grinned, despite the immediate knotting of her stomach as Scott’s face filled her mind’s eye. “Do you have to call him that?”
“Why not? I bet he hasn’t changed a bit.”
“Well, he’s certainly still gorgeous...” She glanced over her shoulder and lowered her voice. “And pretty amazing in bed.”
Michaela squealed. “You haven’t!”
“I have.” Carrie squeezed her eyes shut. “I think I love him, Michaela. I think I always have.”
“Oh, Carrie. That is so amazing. I’m happy for you, really I am. And he knows about Belle?”
“Uh-huh.” Carrie exhaled. “We’re picking up the DNA results later today and then the whole what happens next begins.”
“You had a test?”
“It’s a long story.” Carrie stared out across the rink, her gaze falling on a young girl with dark hair, a little older than Belle. “One I can’t go into now.”
“But everything is going as you hoped?”
The unsettling feeling Carrie had of not belonging slipped over her once more before she could stop it. She silently admonished herself. Why was she fighting the kindness of the good people she’d met in this small, picturesque town? Why was was she forcing herself to reject them for fear of what it would do to her if Scott turned out to be someone so different than who she hoped?
Michaela cleared her throat. “Carrie? Are you still there?”
“I’m here.”
“Uh-oh. What’s wrong?”
Carrie sighed. “Nothing. Something. Oh, I don’t know.” She closed her eyes and pressed her fingers into the pulse of a headache at her temple. “Scott really belongs here.”
“And?”
“And if we’re going to give us a try, I’m going to have to ask him to leave at some point.”
“If he loves you, he’ll move wherever he has to be.”
“Maybe.”
“Listen, I know you. You wouldn’t have let him get close enough to...you know, if you thought he’d bail. What’s going on? Don’t you trust him?”
Carrie opened her eyes and stared once more at the laughing families ahead of her. Light snowflakes had started to fall and the children’s faces were brighter than ever as they cheered and whooped in welcome of a white Christmas. “It’s not about trust.”
“What is it about?”
“I didn’t come here because I need his help with Belle. I’ve got that covered. But...”
“But what?”
Carrie closed her eyes again. “If it’s possible, I think Belle will love Scott more than I do. Now I’m with him again, it feels so right. Have you ever known a guy to mention his family unless he was in something for the long haul?”
Michaela laughed. “No way.”
“Exactly. Scott’s more of a father than he realizes, before he’s even sure Belle is his.”
“And that’s great. Carrie, don’t beat yourself up over the past. I can hear it in your voice. Maybe you made a mistake by not coming back to the Cove to find Scott when you found out you were pregnant, but at the end of the day, no one got hurt by you not coming. You did what you thought was best at the time. Did you lie to Gerard at any point about Scott? Deny you had feelings for him? That the night was a mistake you’d rather forget?”
Carrie’s heart beat faster as the point Michaela made broke through her psyche and filled her soul. She’d done nothing that couldn’t be fixed. She was a human being who sometimes got it wrong. She smiled. “No.”
“Did you see, speak or contact Scott during the entirety of your marriage?”
“No.”
“So there you go. You’re living your life the best way you know how. You still are. We all are.”
Carrie shivered as memories of her and Scott’s lovemaking whispered through her. “God, the minute I saw him...”
“You were run over by him a second time?”
Carrie smiled. “Exactly.”
Michaela laughed. “Then it’s just as well you went back.”
Carrie looked down at her newly-bared ring finger and her smile faltered. “My husband’s dead—”
“Gerard loved you. You made him happy and he died wanting you to be happy. Deep in your heart, you know that, right?”
Carrie’s vision blurred. “Yes. Yes, I do.”
“Good, because the only unforgivable thing about this entire scenario will be if you don’t take this second chance to find out if you’re meant to be with a man you fell in love with years ago. I for one, my friend, want to know if love at first sight truly exists.”
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
S
COTT
GOT
OUT
of his car outside the town’s ice rink and leaned against the hood, his phone in his hand. When he’d called Carrie half an hour before and she asked if he could meet her here, a million questions had been on the tip of his tongue, but he’d kept quiet. He hoped she didn’t plan on taking him up on his offer of skating when they were due at the doctor’s office in a while. Spinning around on his ass and making a fool of himself had been an option to make her laugh, not to turn up at Kev’s battered and bruised and have his friend rib him for the next fortnight.
He glanced toward the rink, lit up like Santa’s grotto, and smiled. He could just imagine what Carrie would look like trussed up in that fur-collared coat of hers, her hair loose and sexy down her back and donning professional and very white skates. Yep, the image was pretty damn beautiful.
The trouble niggling him was he wanted to see her there in the spring, summer and autumn too but couldn’t expect her to up and leave her job and move Belle from the only home the kid had ever known. The moving would be in his court.
He stuffed his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. If Belle was his, he wouldn’t be waiting until spring to see her. Even the thought made his blood hum with frustration. He saw Carrie and his stomach knotted. She walked toward him but her gaze was on the skaters on the rink beside her. A soft smile played on her lips and her eyes were wide with happiness.
Scott straightened and exhaled an appreciative breath through clenched teeth. Her thick, blond hair lay in a single plait over her right breast, her sexy bangs whipping back and forth from the cold breeze. Wearing her fur-collared coat over blue jeans and black patent, high-heeled boots, she looked amazing.
He took a few steps forward, purposefully stuffing his hands deeper into the front pockets of his jeans to prevent himself from grabbing her and feasting on her gorgeous lips. She faced him and her smile widened. “Hi.”
He raised his eyebrows. “You do know there’s snow on the ground, right?”
She came closer and lifted her shoulders. “Barely a covering. What about it?”
“The heels.”
She glanced down at her feet. “Why does it confuse men so much that some women choose to wear heels come hell or high water? It’s as though we’re a phenomenon to you.”
“It’s not that. It’s dangerous. I don’t want you—”
“It makes us feel sexy and confident.” She held his gaze for a second before brushing past him to his car. “Thanks for bringing the car instead of your bike.”
“The bike’s gone as long as you’re here.”
She halted and turned, her gaze slowly dropping to his mouth. “Thank you.”
Scott released his held breath as she faced the car once more and slid into the passenger seat. They were about to receive confirmation of whether Belle was really his...yet all he could think about was how Carrie would look in his bed, naked except for the knee-high boots she wore.
Cursing his libido, he walked around to the driver’s side and got in. “So, picking you up here was a surprise. I thought you might want to take me up on my offer to skate.”
She glanced through the window at the rink and sighed. “It really is beautiful.” She faced him. “There are some nice people in this pretty town, too.”
He smiled, a small bolt of hope dashing through him. “We’re not too bad once you get to know us.”
“Hmm, a few of the residents are okay, I suppose.”
He lifted his eyebrow. “Present company included?”
She shrugged. “You’re all right.”
He laughed and turned the ignition. “Gee, thanks. Okay, you ready for this?”
“Shouldn’t it be me asking you that? I didn’t need this test, remember? I know you’re Belle’s dad.”
He faced her. “Sorry. I’m an ass...and nervous.” He turned to the windshield and put the car into first, exhaling a long breath. “Let’s get this over with.”
He pressed on the gas and headed toward the outskirts of town and the doctor’s office. The low volume of the country rock ballad playing on the radio eased the tension, at least for him. He glanced at Carrie. She stared out the side window, her jaw set. He looked to her hands clenched in her lap. “You okay?”
Her smile was a little too wide to be real. “Absolutely.”
“Carrie...”
“I’m fine.”
He frowned. “I’ve been around enough to know ‘I’m fine’ is a woman’s biggest lie. What’s wrong?”
She swiveled in her seat and the weight of her stare bore into his temple. “I just hoped the prospect of these results would evoke a more positive statement from you than ‘let’s get this over with.’”
He glanced at her. “I didn’t mean—”
Her eyes flashed with the angry fire he was coming to know well. “Just because we had sex last night, you don’t have to—”
“Hey, I’m here, and when I know Belle’s mine, I’ll always be here.”
Silence.
“I mean it, Carrie. I won’t let you or her down.”
She turned to the window and Scott focused on the road. God, he had so much to learn about women and thinking before he spoke, and for Carrie, he’d be a more than willing student. He continued to drive to Kevin’s office, casting glances at her tense profile and noting the way her leg bounced up and down.
He silently cursed that he was driving. He sensed she needed something more from him, and wished he could put his arms around her. For lack of being able to do anything else, he gripped her hand. Relief flooded through him when she closed her fingers tightly around his.
She glanced at him. “When you know Belle is yours, how are we going to do what’s best for her? Not us, her. We can’t be stupid or selfish enough to think last night is any sort of proof things could work out between us. We need more than sex. I need more than sex.”
He swept his gaze over her beautiful face and his gut tightened. The same conclusion had echoed in his mind and heart countless times since he woke this morning, and he still hadn’t found the definitive answer. The lingering threat of his father re-entering his and his family’s lives was worrying. There was every chance Carrie would want to do things her way as far as Belle was concerned and seeing he’d only just learned about Belle, it would be difficult for him to insist otherwise.
“You’ve raised her alone this last year while holding down what I imagine to be a high-profile job. My head is telling me I have no right to demand anything from you...” He glanced at her and smiled. “My heart is telling me the exact opposite and demanding you bring her to the Cove for Christmas.”
Her eyes widened. “What? I can’t—”
“I’m joking. I’m just saying that’s how much I want to see her.”
“Oh.” She slumped into her seat. “Well, that’s okay then.”
He gripped the steering wheel. “When do you go back to work? I’m guessing you’re on a break right now for the holidays?”
She nodded. “Yes.”
“Then when you start back, when will I see you again? I want to be with you, Carrie. I want us to give this everything we’ve got and not just shuttle Belle back and forth on holidays and the weekends.”
A few heartbeats passed before she spoke. “I work hard and I love my job. I won’t jeopardize it for something I don’t know for sure will work out. I wouldn’t ask you to give up your business. I think I deserve the same consideration.”
He glared ahead, his heart thumping. “You’re independent, I get it. So am I.” He looked at her. “All I’m saying is, I hope you can trust me. I want to be with both of you and, for that to happen, we’re going to have to make sacrifices. Take a few leaps of faith...”
“I have a feeling that will be easier said than done.”
Scott clenched his jaw. Were the current situations, past hurts and problems too much to overcome for the sake of their little girl and each other? The thought that they could be sent an ugly stain of resentment through Scott’s mind and into his heart. Even now, his father’s actions affected everything Scott wanted to do. Maybe eventually he would throw caution to the wind and move to be with Carrie and Belle, but there was little chance of that happening anytime soon if his father was waiting for an opportunity to pounce back into their lives.
She eased her hand from his. “Last night was amazing, but it’s not enough to base our parenting on. Before Gerard died, Belle’s life was stable and secure. I won’t lie to you. I want that for her again.”
Irritation rose behind his ribcage. “There’s more to me than sex, Carrie.”
“I know that.”
He turned. “Do you?”
“Yes. I know about the women and I don’t care because it’s in the past. It will only matter to me if they become an issue in Belle’s present. You’re a good man. Someone who has such obvious passion for his mum and sisters couldn’t be anything else. But I still need to know for sure which side of you is the real you.”
“What does that mean?”
Her cheeks flushed and she lifted her chin. “I mean, is the real Scott Walker the man who likes to spend his free time with his friends and women? Or is the real Scott Walker the man who cares and provides for his family, no matter what? There’s only room for one of them in my life and Belle’s.”
The insult struck hard and cut deep. He steered the car into Kevin’s office parking lot, found a vacant space and killed the engine. Trembling with suppressed irritation, he released his seat belt and glared ahead at the office building.
“Considering everything Amanda’s poured into your head, it’s no wonder you’re thinking the way you are, but the real me is the man who cares about my family. Period.” He faced her, anger pulsing through him that she, of all people, could think so little of him. He trusted her, yet she couldn’t trust him. He was falling in love with her, but it seemed she wasn’t with him. “Where has all this come from, Carrie?” He met her gaze. “I’m taking this, us, seriously. That should be enough for you right now. Everything else, we’ll work out as we go along.”
He dropped his gaze to her left hand and he swallowed against the dryness of his throat. Her ring finger was still bare.
He raised his eyes to hers, which glinted with unshed tears. “I’m just protecting my baby, Scott.”
He took her hand. “I know. Let’s get these results and then I’m going to tell you about me and my life. I want you to do the same. I didn’t ask you to stay in the Cove so we could have sex for the next two days—”
“Damn it. Now you tell me.”
Relief shuddered through him and his heart kicked to see her eyes shining with torment. “You think you’re funny?” He laughed.
Her smile wavered and she cupped his jaw, her eyes turning somber. “No. Far from it. I just wanted you to know what I’m thinking. I didn’t want to be anywhere else but in your arms last night. I didn’t want to do anything else but make love with you, but today...today is a new day and we have to focus on Belle.”
He lifted her hand from his jaw and pressed a kiss to her palm. “We will.”
She slid her hand from his grasp, yanked on the door handle and got out of the car. Taking a moment to steady his heart and his overbearing need to talk more with her, Scott breathed deep. Everything he had to say would have to wait. He only hoped when he told her about his family obligations it wouldn’t send her running. There was every possibility his responsibility to his family...and the impending return of a father he couldn’t stand...would be too much too soon.
If a man could split himself in two, there wouldn’t be a problem. If he were a different kind of man, there wouldn’t be a problem. The cold wind bit at his face as he faced Carrie across the roof of the car. She stared at him, her face somber, her beautiful dark eyes storming with the determination of a successful, independent woman.
He locked the car and came around the hood. He took her hand and together they entered Kevin’s office. The reception was surprisingly quiet, considering the last time he’d been there. He approached the desk and Carrie immediately slipped her hand from his and turned to study the various fliers on the wall beside them, her back ramrod straight.
“Scott. Nice to see you again.”
He snapped his gaze from Carrie to Julie’s smiling face as she looked at him from behind the desk. He forced a smile. “Yep. I roll back and forth like a bad penny.”
She laughed. “If all pennies were as bad as you, Scott Walker, I’d take a sackful and be happy.” She ran her fingers over the keyboard in front of her. “You can go straight through. He’s expecting you.”
“Thanks.” Scott moved to the side door, not missing the way Julie’s suspicious gaze appraised Carrie. He protectively cupped her elbow and they walked to Kevin’s office.
Scott paused outside the door. “Everything’s going to be all right.”
She nodded, her face giving away nothing of what she was thinking or feeling. Swallowing hard, Scott pushed open the door.
Kevin immediately rose from the chair behind his desk and came forward, his hand outstretched toward Carrie. “It’s nice to see you again.”
Scott lowered himself into one of the two vacant chairs in front of Kevin’s desk as he and Carrie shook hands. Her smile unsteady, she sat next to Scott and folded her hands on top of her purse in her lap. The image brought a nervous bubble of laughter to the back of Scott’s throat. She hadn’t acted quite so prim and proper when they were rolling around in the hotel bed last night.
“So...” Kevin cleared his throat. “The results.”
Scott snapped his gaze to Kevin, all thoughts of his and Carrie’s lovemaking disappearing on a puff of stark reality. He stared at his friend.
Kevin looked from Scott to Carrie and back again. “You okay?”
Scott swallowed. “I’m fine. Thanks for getting them so quickly. I’ve got no idea how you managed it, but I’m grateful.”
Kevin nodded. “Are you ready for this?”
Scott sat a little straighter in his chair. “Yes.”
Kevin glanced at Carrie before lifting a brown envelope from the top of a stack of trays on his desk. He passed it to Scott. With the envelope clutched in his fingers, Scott turned to Carrie. Her dark brown eyes lingered on the envelope for a moment before she raised her gaze to his. Her eyes were soft but scared and his nerves jolted higher. Did she really know he was Belle’s father or just hoped he was?