Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (179 page)

“I did not,” Lucius Malfoy said, expressionless once more.

Harry bared his teeth again in that non-smile. “Well then, in
that
case, there must be someone
else
out there who killed Hermione and messed with the Hogwarts wards, the same person who
earlier
tried to
frame Hermione for Draco Malfoy’s murder.
Either you killed Hermione Granger after being paid for her life, or you blamed your son’s attempted murder on an innocent girl and took all my family’s money under false pretenses, one of those two things must be true.”

“Perhaps
you
killed her in hopes of your money being returned.” Lucius Malfoy had leaned forward, and was staring hard at Harry.

“Then
I
would not have given away my money for her in the first place. As you already know. Don’t insult my intelligence, Lord Malfoy - no, wait, sorry, you just had to
say
that in case Draco had to testify to it, never mind.”

Lucius Malfoy sat back in his chair and stared.

“I tried to tell you, Father,” Draco said under his breath, “but nobody can imagine Harry Potter until they’ve actually
met
him…”

Harry tapped a finger on his cheek. “So people are starting to figure out the blatantly obvious? I’m surprised, actually. I wouldn’t have predicted that would happen.” Harry had by now caught the general rhythm of Professor Quirrell’s cynicism and was able to generate it independently. “I wouldn’t think a newspaper would be able to report on a concept like ‘Either X or Y must be true, but we don’t know which.’ I would only expect journalists to report stories consisting of series of atomic propositions, like ‘X is true’, ‘Y is false’, or ‘X is true and Y is false’. Not more complex logical connectors like ‘If X is true then Y is true, but we don’t know whether X is true’. And all your supporters ought to be rapidly switching between ‘You can’t prove that Lord Malfoy killed Granger, it could’ve been someone else’ and ‘You can’t prove there was someone else to frame Granger’, so long as it’s uncertain they should be trying to have it both ways at once… wait, don’t you
own
the Daily Prophet?”

“The Daily Prophet,” Lucius Malfoy said thinly, “which I certainly do not own, is far too respectable to publish any such scurrilous nonsense. Unfortunately, not all wizards of influence are so reasonable.”

“Ah. Got it.” Harry nodded.

Lucius glanced at Draco. “The rest of what he said - was any of it important?”

“No, Father, it was not.”

“Thank you, son.” Lucius returned his gaze to Harry. His voice, when he spoke, was something closer to his usual drawl, cool and confident. “It is possible that I could be persuaded to show you some favor, if you admitted before the Wizengamot what you clearly know, that I was not responsible for this deed. I would be willing to reduce your remaining debt to House Malfoy quite significantly, or even adjust the terms to allow later repayment.”

Harry regarded Lucius Malfoy steadily. “Lucius Malfoy. You are now perfectly aware that Hermione Granger was, in fact, framed using your son as bait, that she was False-Memory-Charmed or worse, and that House Potter held nothing against you before that. My counterproposal is that you return my family’s money, I announce before the Wizengamot that House Potter holds House Malfoy no animus, and we present a united front against whoever’s doing this. We decide to screw the roles we’re supposed to play, and ally with each other instead of fighting. It could be the one thing the enemy doesn’t expect us to do.”

There was a brief silence in the room, except for the two goblin guards who went on breathing regardless.

“You
are
mad,” Lucius Malfoy said coldly.

“It’s called justice, Lord Malfoy. You cannot possibly expect me to cooperate with you while you are holding the wealth of House Potter under what you now know to be false pretenses. I understand how it looked to you at the time, but you know better now.”

“You have nothing to offer me worth a hundred thousand Galleons.”

“Don’t I?” Harry said distantly. “I wonder. I think it quite probable that you care more about the long-term welfare of House Malfoy than about whichever political issue the last generation’s failed Dark Lord made his personal hobbyhorse.” Harry glanced significantly at Draco. “The next generation is drawing its own battle lines and forming new alliances. Your son can be frozen out of that, or he can go straight to the top. Is that worth more to you than forty thousand Galleons you weren’t particularly expecting and don’t particularly need?” Harry smiled thinly. “Forty thousand Galleons. Two million Muggle pounds sterling. Your son knows some things about the size of the Muggle economy that might surprise you. They’d find it amusing, that the fate of a country was revolving around two million pounds sterling. They’d think it was cute. And I think much the same, Lord Malfoy. This isn’t about me being desperate. This is about you getting a fair chance to be fair.”

“Oh?” said Lord Malfoy. “And if I refuse your fair chance, what then?”

Harry shrugged. “Depends what sort of coalition government gets put together without the Malfoys. If the government can be reformed peacefully and it would disturb the peace to do otherwise, I’ll pay you the money out of petty cash. Or maybe the Death Eaters will be retried for past crimes and executed as a matter of justice, as a result of due legal process, of course.”

“You truly are mad,” Lucius Malfoy said quietly. “You have no power, no wealth, and yet you say such things to me.”

“Yes, it’s silly to think I could scare you. After all, you’re not a Dementor.”

And Harry went on smiling. He’d looked it up, and apparently a bezoar
would
heal almost any poison if you shoved it into someone’s mouth fast enough. Maybe that wouldn’t repair radiation damage from Transfigured polonium, but then again, maybe it would. So Harry had looked up the freezing points of various acids, and it turned out that sulfuric acid would freeze at just ten degrees Celsius, which meant Harry could buy a liter of acid on the Muggle market, freeze it solid, and Transfigure it down to a tiny little unnoticable water-ice chip to be flipped into someone’s mouth and ingested. No bezoar would compensate for that, once the Transfiguration wore off. Harry had no intention of saying it out loud, of course, but now that he’d failed decisively to prevent any deaths during his quest, he had no further intention of being restrained by the law or even the code of Batman.

Last chance to live, Lucius. Ethically speaking, your life was bought and paid for the day you committed your first atrocity for the Death Eaters. You’re still human and your life still has intrinsic value, but you no longer have the deontological protection of an innocent. Any good person is licensed to kill you now, if they think it’ll save net lives in the long run; and I will conclude as much of you, if you begin to get in my way. Whoever sent the troll after Granger must have targeted you too and hit you with some curse that makes former Death Eaters melt into a pile of goo. Very sad.

“Father,” Draco said in a small voice. “I think you should consider it, father.”

Lucius Malfoy looked at his son. “You jest.”

“It’s true. I don’t think Potter just made up his books, nobody could have written all that and there were things in them that I could check for myself. And if even half of all that is true, he’s right, a hundred thousand Galleons won’t mean much. If we give it to him he really will be friends with House Malfoy again - the way
he
thinks of being friends, anyway. And if we don’t, he’ll be your enemy, whether it’s in his own interests or not, he’ll just go after you. Harry Potter really does think like that. It’s not about money to him, it’s about what he thinks is honor.”

Harry Potter inclined his head, still smiling.

“But let’s get one part of it straight,” Draco said, now staring directly at him. There was a fierce light in his eyes. “
You wronged me.
And
you owe me.
”

“Acknowledged,” Harry said quietly. “Conditional on the rest of it, of course.”

Lucius Malfoy opened his mouth to say who-knew-what and then closed it again. “Mad,” he said again.

There was a long father-and-son argument during which Harry managed to keep his mouth shut.

When it seemed that even Draco wouldn’t be able to persuade his father, Harry spoke up again, and proposed his intended next steps, if the Houses of Potter and Malfoy could cooperate.

Then came more argument between Lucius and Draco, during which Harry again stayed silent.

Finally Lucius Malfoy’s eyes turned to gaze at Harry. “And you believe,” Lucius Malfoy said, “that you can persuade Longbottom and Bones to go along with this notion, even if Dumbledore opposes it.”

Harry nodded. “They’ll be suspicious of your involvement, of course. But I’ll tell them that it was my plan to start with, and that should help.”

“I suppose,” Lucius Malfoy said after a pause, “that I could have a contract drawn up, absolving you of
almost
all the remaining debt, if by some chance I do go along with this mad idea. It shall need more guarantees, of course -”

Harry promptly reached into his robes and drew out a parchment, unfolding it and spreading it across the golden table. “I’ve taken the liberty myself, actually,” Harry said. He’d spent some careful hours in the Hogwarts library with the law books available. Thankfully, so far as Harry could tell, the laws of magical Britain were charmingly simple by Muggle standards. Writing that the original blood debt and payment was cancelled, the Potters’ wealth and all other vault items would be returned, and the remaining debt annulled, all with no fault to the Malfoys, was only a few more lines than it took to say out loud. “I had to promise my keepers not to sign anything you gave me. So I made sure to compose this myself, and sign it before I left.”

Draco emitted a choked laugh.

Lucius read through the contract, smiling humorlessly. “How charmingly straightforward.”

“I also promised not to touch a quill while I was in Gringotts,” Harry said. He reached into his robes again and drew out a Muggle pen, along with a sheet of normal paper. “Will this wording be all right?” Harry rapidly scribbled down a legal-sounding statement to the effect that House Potter didn’t hold House Malfoy responsible in any way for Hermione Granger’s murder and didn’t believe they had anything to do with it, then held up the paper in the air for Lord Malfoy’s inspection.

Lord Malfoy looked at the paper, rolled his eyes slightly, and said, “Good enough, I suppose. Though to have the proper meaning, you should use the legal term
indemnify
rather than
exonerate
-”

“Nice try, but no. I know exactly what that word means, Lord Malfoy.” Harry took his parchment and began copying down his original wording more carefully.

When Harry was done, Lord Malfoy reached across the golden table and took the pen, looking at it thoughtfully. “One of your Muggle artefacts, I suppose? What does this do, son?”

“It writes without needing an inkwell,” Draco answered.

“I can see that. I suppose some might find it an amusing trinket.” Lucius smoothed the parchment contract over the table, then set his hand by the line for signatures, tapping the pen thoughtfully on the starting spot.

Harry wrenched his eyes away, up to Lucius Malfoy’s face, forcing himself to breathe regularly, not quite able to stop his muscles from tensing.

“Our good friend, Severus Snape,” said Lucius Malfoy, still tapping the pen on the line awaiting his signature. “The Defense Professor, calling himself Quirrell. Now I ask again, who is your third suspect, Harry Potter?”

“I would strongly advise that you sign first, Lord Malfoy, if you’re going to do so anyway. You will benefit from this information more if you do not think I am trying to persuade you of something.”

Another humorless smile. “I shall take my chances. Speak, if you wish this to continue.”

Harry hesitated, then said evenly, “My third suspect is Albus Dumbledore.”

The tapping pen stilled on the parchment. “A strange allegation,” Lucius drawled. “Dumbledore lost much face when a Hogwarts student died within his tenure. Do you suppose that I will believe anything of him, only because he is my enemy?”

“He is one suspect among several, Lord Malfoy, and not necessarily the most plausible. But the reason I was able to kill a full-grown mountain troll was that I had a weapon which Dumbledore gave to me, at the start of the school year. It’s not strong evidence, but it’s suspicious. And if you’re thinking that murdering one of his students is not Dumbledore’s style, well, the same thought had occurred to me.”

“It’s
not
his style?” Draco Malfoy said.

Lucius Malfoy shook his head in a measured, careful movement. “Not quite, my son. Dumbledore is particular in his evils.” Lord Malfoy leaned back into his chair, and then sat quite still. “Tell me of this weapon.”

“I am not yet certain I should go into details about that in your presence, Lord Malfoy.” Harry took a breath. “Let
me
be clear on this. I am not trying to sell you on the idea that Dumbledore is behind this, just raising the possibility -”

Then Draco Malfoy spoke. “The device Dumbledore gave you - was it something to kill trolls? I mean,
just
trolls? Can you tell us that?”

Lucius turned his head to look at his son with some surprise.

“No…” Harry said slowly. “It wasn’t specifically a sword of anti-troll slaying, or anything like that.”

Draco’s eyes were intent. “Would the device have worked against an assassin?”

Not if they had shields raised.
“No.”

“A fight in school?”

An expanding rock in the throat is inherently lethal.
“No. I don’t think it was meant for use against humans.”

Draco nodded. “So just magical creatures. Would it have been a good weapon against an angry Hippogriff, or something like that?”

“Does the Stunning Hex work on Hippogriffs?” Harry said slowly.

“I don’t know,” said Draco.

“Yes,” said Lucius Malfoy.