Harvest of Gold (43 page)

As the sun splashed the sky with its light, Ezra arrived, followed by thirteen handpicked assistants, some of whom helped carry a large scroll with great care. The old priest stepped onto the platform, with a man on each side of him to help unroll the scroll of the Book of the Law. When the waiting crowds saw Ezra open the book, they rose to their feet as one man.

Darius took his place near Sarah. From a corner of his eye he caught a glimpse of his friend Lysander amongst a small group of foreigners who had gathered at a respectful distance. Lysander stood, feet slightly apart, his massive arms crossed, his face an impenetrable mask. He had made no secret of his disdain for Darius’s decision to be circumcised.

“They have hijacked your brains, these people,” he had said, his mouth curling. “Why do you want to go and do a stupid thing like that?”

To his own amazement, Darius had felt no irritation with Lysander’s contempt. Because of his mother, Darius had always harbored a certain respect for the Jewish faith, even when he had run from it. But he could understand his friend’s scorn. Lysander would not have minded if Darius had offered a sacrifice or two to the God of the Jews. He could not, however, accept with equanimity a commitment so encompassing that it even marked his friend’s flesh. Darius had spent enough of his life avoiding the Lord to be able to feel a bittersweet compassion for his friend’s derision.

Next to Lysander he spied Pari, her head bent, her hands folded before her. Pari’s demeanor, in stark contrast to the Spartan, displayed deference. She had spent many hours in Sarah’s company, asking questions about the Lord. Sarah had told him that she even prayed with her.

Darius turned his attention back to Ezra. The old priest began the day by praising the Lord. Everyone lifted up their hands and shouted, “Amen!”

Then Ezra began to read from the ancient book before him. The law was written in Hebrew, and unlike his wife, Darius understood little of what was being read. He was not the only one afflicted with incomprehension. Knowing how many of the Israelites themselves had lost the ability to understand Hebrew since the years of their captivity in Babylon, Nehemiah had arranged for Ezra to read a section of the law and then stop. A number of Levites had been stationed among the people, assigned to translate Ezra’s words into Aramaic. They made certain that the people understood the significance of each passage and gained a deeper insight into God’s intentions.

Darius felt his whole body tingle with an unusual excitement. The words flowed through him with power, and he realized that he was measuring his life by them.

The Lord is God and there is no other … The Lord is our God, the Lord alone. You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength. You must not worship any of the gods of neighboring nations, for the Lord your God, who lives among you, is a jealous God
.

It dawned on Darius that God demanded more than duty or loyalty, though He wanted those things. He wanted Darius’s heart. He wanted an all-consuming love.

Darius became aware of a strange silence. The whole world seemed to have faded around him. Sarah, Ezra, the Levites, the crowds. They disappeared from his consciousness. It felt as though he alone stood before the Lord, his soul bare. He could not tolerate such a scrutiny. He felt his own failures, unhidden, overpowering him, and fell to his knees.

I don’t know how to love You! I don’t know how to love. Not the way You demand
.

With a disconcerting jolt, he became mindful of those around him once again. The voice of the Levite near him penetrated his mind.

The Lord did not set His heart on you and choose you because you were more numerous than other nations, for you were the smallest of all nations! Rather, it was simply that the Lord loves you … He is the faithful God who keeps His covenant for a thousand generations and lavishes His unfailing love on those who love Him and obey His commands …

Darius sensed that God wanted him to understand the significance of those verses not only for Israel, but also for him. As a man. His fingers dug in the dirt where he knelt, spasmodically clenching and unclenching. The Lord cared for him as an individual. That knowledge began to permeate his mind, and then deeper. Past his emotions, past his thoughts, it sank into his inmost being. He had not chosen God; God had chosen him!

He had not been chosen because he was the strongest or the best. God had not chosen Darius because of his mother or his relatives. God had chosen him simply because the Lord of the universe
loved
him. He loved Darius with an
unfailing
love.

Darius’s strength deserted him. His muscles, always strong and in control, became like a mass of wet silk, unable to support him. Darius fell forward, his face on the ground.

Lord, I have failed You! I have failed You all my life. And I can’t even promise that I will stop. But Your love has never failed me and never shall. Your faithfulness is beyond my comprehension
.

He felt as though that love covered him like a blanket. The weight of it was so overwhelming that Darius could not move. Awe pumped through his veins so that he could barely breathe. He knew that the Lord’s hand had deigned to touch him. In spite of his rebellious years running from God, running from His rule and His mercy, God was choosing to impart His forgiveness and acceptance to him.

Darius wept like a small boy and felt no shame for it. His face was drenched in tears, and he did not care. It sank into his benumbed mind that the Lord had been with him through every single moment of the ravages of his childhood. When he had thought himself alone, the Lord had been with him, loving him, guiding him. The Lord had known every sorrow, every childish fear, and had never—
never
—abandoned him.

Slowly, Darius felt something crack in his heart, like an old crust as hard and cold as marble. The love of God permeated the ancient shell that had been his protection from childhood. Now God Himself would be his protection.

The Lord your God will change your heart and the hearts of all your descendants, so that you will love Him with all your heart and soul and so you may live!

The Lord was changing Darius’s heart, restoring it, teaching it to love again. He felt the heavy weight ease and was able to move his head. The first thing he saw was Sarah kneeling next to him, her eyes closed, her face glowing in spite of the tears that ran down the length of it.

He was struck by such a wave of love for her that his breath caught. Like an inexperienced youth he stared at her, his mouth half-open, overwhelmed with affection so deep he lost the power of speech. It had been here all along, this love, from the early days of their union. Only he had been unable to give it rein.

With sharp clarity, he remembered the first time he had seen Sarah on the hill outside the palace in Persepolis. He had been chasing a lion that had escaped the hunting grounds and had stumbled upon her in his search. She had faced him, her cheeks pink from a recent nap, her shapeless robe askew, her large eyes filled with humor and fearless intelligence. Six unbroken generations of Persian aristocracy running through his veins snapped into rapt attention when she confronted him with the fire of challenge instead of a simpering giggle. She had been far from beautiful that morning, with her rumpled scribal garb and her disheveled hair, but she had charmed him within moments of his meeting her like few women ever had.

He had had to aim his arrow just past her, at the lion that was crouching behind her, and she had stood still as an old soldier, forbearing the danger that faced her from two directions. He had not fallen in love with her there, but he had been captivated enough to feel threatened. Which was doubtless why he had chosen to believe that she was just another sycophant, seeking to promote herself by flattering him. He had pushed her away as fast as he could by coming up with a likely fault to attach to her, so it was the fault he had seen, and not the sweetness of the woman who attracted him with unreasonable power.

He had not allowed himself to feel his true emotions. His austere childhood had left its mark, making him incapable of displaying that depth of vulnerability. Love had let him down once. He had learned not to give it that opportunity again. Even after they had been married long enough for him to know Sarah, to know that she was caring and loyal and generous, he could not surrender his heart. He feasted on her love like a starving babe, but he could not offer his own.

Now that the Lord had shattered the cold walls with which he had surrounded himself since boyhood, he could no longer detach himself from her. Nor did he want to.

He loved Sarah. The realization filled him with joy.

Darius staggered up, his movements awkward. From a corner of his eye he saw Lysander. The Spartan was on his knees, his face covered in perspiration. The blue eyes were wide and shocked. Darius had a suspicion that the Lord had made His presence known to his friend in a way he was not likely to forget soon. Pari was lying on the ground, her face in the dirt, much like his own moments before.

Darius widened the scope of his gaze and became aware that most of the people were weeping, some silently like Sarah, others wailing like inconsolable children. The Lord’s presence hung over the crowd like an invisible mist.

Darius had walked through the wealthiest palaces in the world. He had experienced the lushest riches that human imagination could offer. Nothing had compared in majesty to the grandeur of God’s presence in this small, barren city. He realized that the scope of the Lord’s presence on that day was so wide and encompassing that every man, woman, and child there was bound to experience an unforgettable shift in their souls. No one would be the same after this day. The Lord had revived the zeal of His people. They hungered and thirsted for a righteousness they knew they did not possess.

Nehemiah joined Ezra on the platform. A new gentleness colored his voice as he said, “This day is sacred. Don’t mourn. The Lord is holy, but His mercy rises even higher than our shame. Stop grieving now.”

The Levites joined Nehemiah, calming the people with their reassurances. The governor charged the gathered crowd to rest. “Go and celebrate the Lord’s goodness with rich foods and sweet drinks. Share your bounty with those who have nothing prepared so that they won’t go hungry.

“Wipe your tears. The joy of the Lord is your strength! Let His love fill you with joy, and you will overcome.”

On his way to his chambers, Darius ran into Nehemiah. Without a word the older man pulled him into a fatherly embrace. Darius could feel his eyes welling up again. “Lord Nehemiah, I never knew it could be like this.”

“Nor I, my son. Nor I.”

Darius felt like he had a colony of ants taking residence inside him. He longed to be alone with his wife and dreaded it at the same time. He had faced fierce enemies on numberless battlefields. Yet never had he been reduced to such a puddle of fear. And all because he wished to express to his own wife how dear she was to him. He could have kicked himself for his folly. But he could not outrun the weakness that caused a veneer of perspiration to cover his forehead.

In his room, Pari served a small feast. Darius dismissed her with a stiff wave before she had finished laying out their food. His throat was parched and he took a large swallow of sweet wine.

Sarah’s voice was hushed as she said, “I’ll never be the same after this day. I feel like Job:
my ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen You
.”

“I feel the same. I imagine most of Israel has had a similar experience today.”

Sarah was busy unwrapping warm bread from a napkin. He took the bread from her and set it distractedly atop a bowl. It sank into the contents. Sarah made a small sound of protest and tried to rescue the bread.

“Leave it!”

She turned to him with a frown. He forced out a long breath and moistened his dry lips. Her hands were arrested midway to the bowl. He captured them in his own. His fingers were trembling and he could not steady them.