Hat Trick 3: Penalty Shot (27 page)

“How do you let him go out there?”

“The same way you let him come back to the game when he was cross checked in high school. You let the people you love take chances. He’d be miserable if he couldn’t play, especially if he felt physically able. I know you know about the practice he walked off because he wasn’t feeling right, so he’s being responsible. If I thought he wasn’t I’d step in.”

“Would you?” She looked over the top of her coffee cup at me and some of the edge came back in her voice.

“Absolutely. His long-term health is more important than any game. If I missed signs, the coaches would catch them. He doesn’t hide it well when his leg is causing problems. To his credit, he quit that practice before even I noticed he had issues.”

“That’s good to know. Hopefully I’ll worry a little less.”

“Probably not,” I said, with a sly smile. “It doesn’t make me worry less. I want to reiterate, I’ve no intention of leaving Alex. Everything we’ve gone through these past few weeks only makes me love him more for his determination and resilience.”

“I believe that.”

“I’m glad to hear you say that. But,” I paused for a moment, “and this is my training coming into play, people can say things under stress, things they believe, that they would never say otherwise. I worry that you still feel that I’m not in this for the long term, and that maybe you did even before all this happened.”

Her smiling, warm facade took a hit. I regretted the bluntness, but it needed to be on the table.

“I don’t know what to say to that,” she said, her tone meek. “You might be right. You hear stories of people who leave their spouses when the going gets tough. You did that to him once. In the here and now, I believe what you say, I truly do. I know the doctors say his condition may never deteriorate. But it could. What happens five, ten even twenty years from now?”

It’s an ugly truth that forever doesn’t always mean forever for some people. It was hard to counter her reasoning since I did bail once, even if it was just for a few days, when things got really bad.

“I can’t make up for what I did back then. I was a scared kid.”

“You were eighteen. Technically an adult.”

I was glad she was looking at me again. Neither of us sounded happy, but we were still talking.

“Okay, a scared young adult. You’ll just have to watch what I do because I know words only go so far.”

She nodded. “That’s really all I can ask. If he takes a turn and you bail, you’ll have one angry mom to deal with. I won’t let you live it down.”

“I’m okay with that,” I said, lightening my tone significantly. “If I’m stupid enough to do that, I deserve whatever consequences you can dish out.”

She laughed with that, and I was glad we’d both made our points and yet retained good spirits overall. “Game misconduct, million minutes in the penalty box.”

She had me laughing, too, for a moment. “When we first told you about us, you said you didn’t think you could be happier with who Alex brought home I hope that’s still the case.”

“It is.” She put her hand over mine. “I don’t know many college students who would’ve stuck through this like you have. You two take on a lot together, like managing the team while doing school and work. You’re good for each other. My biggest hope is that continues.”

“It will,” I said.

“Relax,” Alex finally said after I’d gotten myself tangled up in the undershirt I was trying to pull on.

It was the latest in a long line of things I’d had mishaps with since I started changing from my game gear into sweats to work with Rainbow High during their practice. I nearly fell over when I was trying to get out of my hockey pants, managed to throw a sock across the room and hit Ivan, and dropped my lace tightener three different times while re-lacing my skates.

“You’ve been looking forward to this all week,” he said as he untangled the sleeves that were causing me trouble. “It’s going to be good. You guys got along great while we were home over Christmas.”

Once the shirt was settled, he put his hands on my shoulders and locked his eyes with mine. It’d been a while since he needed to calm me down, but he knew exactly how to do it.

“Right, but this is his first trip to see me. The first time we’re going to be hanging out alone together.” I talked a mile a minute. “It’s freaking me out.”

Zack was at today’s game. I’d seen him in the stands, which was easy to do since he was sitting only a few rows up, right behind our bench. He looked happier than I’d ever seen him. He was going to watch practice and then we were going out for dinner.

He was only here overnight. He’d been granted forty-eight hours for travel and he was doing it by car since he needed to be available for random check-ins and had to call in every three hours. It was a six-hour drive so he left Dawson early this morning to get here for the game. He planned to head back around noon tomorrow to be home well before his travel time expired.

“Yo, Roberts, you’ve got a visitor,” said Rudy, one of our equipment managers.

Alex still had me by the shoulders. I drew in more of Alex’s calming energy, even though I knew I was being silly. We weren’t kids anymore. Zack and I were good now. And yet, I was scared everything would revert. Alex clapped me on the shoulders as he gave me a nod and a smile.

I turned and Zack stood in the doorway, off to one side since there were players going in and out. He was very casual, jeans and a jersey with his coat over one arm. We walked towards each other and he put his arms out as if he was going in for a hug.

I stopped, and put my hand out, indicating he should, too. “I haven’t showered yet,” I said. “I’m not sure you want to do that.”

He slowed, but didn’t stop. I opened my arms for the hug. “I’m sure.” He closed his arms around me and clapped me on the back. “I’m so proud of you, bro, that was a kick ass game.”

“Thanks, man.” We stepped back. “Sorry I didn’t pick up some actual goals.”

“Whatever,” he said in a voice that lacked criticism or disappointment. “You made some killer plays and got a couple assists.”

This was surreal. We’d talked about my games a few times when I’d visit because he’d catch one on TV, but this was an immediate reaction and, again, I had to remember that things were much different between us now. The kid inside me needed to let go.

“You know,” I said, switching up topics to what he wore, “I could’ve gotten you a jersey if you’d let me know you wanted one. You didn’t have to pay the arena price.”

“Could you have gotten me one like this though?” He turned to reveal my name and number on the back. It wasn’t in the same lettering that our jerseys use, but it was very close. I was speechless. “Had to represent in the stands.”

“Wow. I’ve never seen my name on a fan’s jersey before.” Without hesitation I hugged him again.

“Okay, guys,” Danny said, coming in next to me and Zack, “the ice is ready so we can head back out. I’ll let the team know.” Danny was the fastest changer on the team, so he’d been checking on the ice. “You must be Zack,” he said before I could introduce them. “It’s good to meet you. I’m Danny Richards.”

“Good to meet you,” Zack said. “Congrats on the win.”

“Wait, Zack’s here already,” Trent called from further back in the locker room. He came around a row of lockers wearing one skate while holding the other. “Hey, man, I’m Trent,” he said, giving a wave with the skate.

For the briefest moment Zack looked overwhelmed.

“Trent,” he said, giving a nod. “I should let you guys get on with practice.” Whatever I’d seen in his expression previously was gone just as fast as it arrived. “Should I watch from where I was for the game?”

“You could,” I said, “or I was thinking you could watch from the penalty box if you wanted, or the scorekeeper’s area if you want to stay behind some plexi.”

“That’d be cool. As long as I’m out of the way.”

“I’ll be out shortly,” Trent said, holding up the skate. “I gotta fix this edge.”

“I’ll get the guys out so they’re warming up. We should be ready to go in five if they’re all dressed.” Danny looked at his watch. “And they should be by now.”

“Perfect,” I said. Trent and Danny were gone. Suddenly Alex was next to me.

“Hey,” Alex said, giving us a smile. “Zack, good to see you. How was the trip?”

“Pretty good. Had to get used to not speeding,
at all
. Thankfully the car has cruise control so I can set it and make sure I don’t exceed whatever’s posted. But it’s hard when everyone else is zipping by. I refuse to do anything that could get me in trouble my first time traveling.”

“Oh my God, I can’t imagine,” Alex said. “I’m always going at least ten over the speed limit when I drive to Detroit.”

Zack’s phone rang out and he shuffled around in his coat pocket looking for it. “I gotta take this. It’s a check-in call.” He tapped the display. “Hi, this is Zachary Roberts.”

He stepped into the hallway as he lowered his voice.

“See, it’s going good, isn’t it?” Alex asked as we went over to our lockers. We were both ready for practice, just needing gloves and sticks.

“Yeah. He freakin’ has me on his jersey. I don’t know what to do with that.”

Alex gave me a hug across the shoulders. “Just be happy.”

“You gonna come to dinner tonight?” I asked. He’d been on the fence about it and while I wasn’t going to push him to come, I needed to know.

“No. I’m gonna get some homework done. I’ll come to breakfast tomorrow, though. Anyway, I think you guys should have tonight by yourselves. Kinda like how I had solo time when my parents were here.”

I smiled at him and I wondered if Zack was having to adjust as much as we were.

Rainbow High practiced for ninety minutes, making good use of the Saturday evening. Zack seemed entertained with the practice, sometimes even cheering the drills. After practice he headed to his hotel to relax and freshen up before dinner, while I also got cleaned up and presentable. He and I reconvened at seven at a diner that Alex and I liked.

He was inside, waiting on a bench, when I arrived.

“Sorry, I didn’t think you’d end up waiting,” I said as I came up to him.

“I was early,” he said, standing up and embracing me. I was not used to hugger Zack. “I wanted to make sure I got here without getting lost or anything stupid.”

Once we were seated, I didn’t open my menu because I knew exactly what I wanted, the double bacon cheeseburger and fries. I hadn’t eaten since the game so I was ravenous. The waiter recognized me and asked if I was doing my usual and I said yes. Zack followed my lead and went for the burger.

“Good choice,” I said, “although you may not feel the need to eat again for a while. First timers can get overwhelmed by it. I only eat them after games.”

“I’ll chance it.”

We went quiet. It was an odd silence, bordering on uncomfortable.

“You’re waiting for me to be a dick, aren’t you?”

Heat rose in my cheeks. It was embarrassing that he figured that out.

“It’s okay,” he said with a bit of a chuckle. “All afternoon while I watched you on the ice, my mind kept flashing up images of what I used to do to you. It was like my shitty self was trying to rise up.”

“You know, it’s different now, too. Here it’s just us, no buffer. Do you think we’ll always fight against the past like this?”

He looked thoughtful and it was cool to see this side of him. “Probably.” He paused again. “Hopefully it will lessen, provided I behave.”

“It’s funny. I’ve been through classes where I learned how to work with young people who’re abused or traumatized, and I know a lot of ins and outs of that. But I don’t know how to apply it to myself.”

“I hear ya.” Zack said, nibbling on the chips and salsa that had arrived. “All I can do is not be that guy.” He crunched more before going on. “I’m glad I’m here. It was a blast watching you play today. You’re so fast and confident out there. And then watching you coach, your easygoing way of interacting with the kids, was great. To see you in action made me proud. You know, that’s
my
brother out there.”

We reached for a chip at the same time. I pulled back and let him grab first. I guess his words hit us both as we fell silent again.

“I’m proud of you, too, you know. Four years ago I would’ve never thought I’d sit across from you talking like this.”

Our food arrived and Zack eyed the burger and its sheer volume between the two sizable beef patties, the thick bacon, slices of cheddar and pepper jack along with the pile of lettuce, onion, and tomato.

He downed a handful of fries. “You actually eat all this?”

I took the first bite of mine without answering. I’d pressed it down, squashing it so I could take a bite. Juice dribbled down my chin, too. It was delicious. Zack held back a laugh, or a snarky comment. I wasn’t sure which.

He studied his burger while I took another bite. He finally picked up the knife and cut into it.

I made a disapproving noise and chewed faster so I could speak. “You did not just do that,” I said, my mouth still too full.

“What?”

I swallowed before I spoke again. “Cut that. All that juice wasted on the plate.”

“You mean instead of on my face?” His expression was priceless.

“Yes. It’s part of the experience. You can’t tell me you cut your food like that in prison.”

“No. But, there wasn’t food like this there either. I do remember how to eat properly, you know. Mom would
not
be happy seeing you stuff your face like that.”

“Maybe. But Mom’s not here,” I said as I chomped down on another huge bite, relishing the flavor of the meat, cheese, and most importantly bacon. A small moan of delight escaped.

He shook his head, but the slight grin that played at his lips told me he was enjoying this. We never used to egg each other on, and I admit I enjoyed it. Meanwhile, he bit into his burger and a look of bliss crossed his face.

“Whoa.” He said, once he swallowed, “You weren’t kidding. That’s incredible.” He took another bite, more aggressively this time.

We ended up not speaking until we’d devoured the burgers and had only fries left.