Haunted (12 page)

I made it into the kitchen still mentally going over this list and saw that Star had cleaned up the entire mess. I may have been good with the cooking, but he far bested me with cleaning abilities. I put Devon’s dish in the microwave for him so he could heat it up when he came down and I stepped back out into the bar area. I heard the shower running upstairs and behind the stage I heard a loud humming. I stepped back into the hallway and looked inside the doorway opposite the kitchen. Marcus was running on a treadmill and Mage was lifting free weights. They both had earbuds in so I waved and they waved back. I thought I better check on Jade so I went around to the rumpus room and knocked on the door I’d seen Marcus take him into last night.

“Hey Jade? I just wanted to check your leg.”

He opened the door in just a towel. “Hey! It looks good! I took the bandage off and washed it in the shower, gently, with that soap you gave me. It’s a little red but it looks so good. Thanks again.” He was beaming...and dripping down his chest. There was way too much male skin around here this morning.

“Great. I’m glad you like it. I’m just going to go change.” He nodded and stepped back in his room. That meant Star was in the shower over there. I went back to my room and found the bathroom door closed and that shower running as well.

I flopped down on my bed with my sketchbook and scanned over the sketches I’d drawn yesterday, minus the one of Mage I’d left with Marcus. I opened to a fresh page and was just doodling when my phone started buzzing incessantly.

“Good morning Mackenzie.”

She cut off my greeting by yelling at me, “How COULD you leave me a message like that last night and then LEAVE ME HANGING!!!??”  

I had to hold the phone out from my ear. I got her to calm down and explained what had happened. She was quiet until I finished.

“And that’s it? He hugged you and that was it? Oh, my darling little needle pusher. Have I not taught you anything about men?”

“Mackenzie! I am here to WORK! I’ve created a list of rules to live by that don’t involve being anywhere around him in his bed, the bathroom, when he’s mostly naked...”

“YOU SAW HIM NAKED? Oh why couldn’t they have wanted to hire a piercing artist instead of a tattoo chick who might as well be from the convent! ? What I could do with a needle and all that yummy flesh.”

I groaned loudly. “Kenz, you are not making this any easier. He’s beautiful and sweet, but this is horrible timing. Ok? He’s probably a widower for goodness sake!”  

Mackenzie was quiet for a second. “Margaret was his
wife?
Oh my gods. Oh honey, you’re right. That is not something you want to mess with. You’re sure about this?”  

I told her about meeting his mom and realizing they had the same last name.

“See what I mean? He’s not in any position to be getting involved with me. Not in any way I’d want to be involved with someone.”

"Hmm," she said. “What about a ring? Is he wearing a ring?”

I frowned. “I don't remember seeing one. But that doesn't mean anything.”

She sighed. “You’re right. What about any of the other guys?”  

I groaned again. “Kenz! Snap out of it. I will talk with them, I will draw them, and I will tattoo them. I will come home. Life will return to as normal as it can be with you as my shop mate. The end! That’s how this story is going to go. Speaking of which, I gotta go. I think they are going to have practice today so I should be there for that.”

We said our goodbyes and she made me promise to call her again this evening.

After hanging up I was doodling in my book, lying on my bed, when I heard a knock at the door. “Yeah?”  

Devon opened the door. “Hey. We’re going to be practicing for awhile, so I brought you your ear plugs.” He left them on the desk.

“Thanks. I’ll probably need them.”

He gave me the ghost smile and started to leave, then stopped. “I’m going to play for them what I wrote last night. If you want to, you know, come down. You can hear it.” He looked so sheepish. He was killing me.

“Of course. I’ll be right down. I’m just going to change.”

He nodded and shut the door behind him.

Ok, wardrobe. What should I put on today? I decided on a sundress, as it was fairly warm in the building. I stayed shoeless. It was kind of nice to go barefoot all day. I braided my hair really quick and brought my sketchbook. They were already playing as I came down the stairs. Marcus waved at them to stop and addressed the group.

“So I have a plan. Since we’ve got to have material ready to record by next week, I thought we’d start today by going through what we’ve come up with so far. It looks like we’ve got the three I came up with and D, we can try that one you played for us yesterday, but I’m not sure about the lyrics yet.” Marcus was handing out notes to the other guys.

“I actually wrote some. They’re rough still. And I’ve got a new piece I messed around with last night.”

Marcus looked at him for a moment and gave him a grateful smile. Devon just looked down and started tuning his guitar.

Marcus made eye contact with me and mouthed, “Thank You.”

I just shook my head at him.

“Ok, let’s start with Track One.”

Star counted them off and they launched into a gritty, down-tuned number with a slower beat. Marcus had some lyrics he would sing over what I guessed would be the chorus:

I am the leather, you are the lace

I hold you close and caress your face

You are the leather, I am the lace

I’m bound to you tightly, I crave your embrace

Not bad, not as slutty. I liked the beat. It was kind of sexy. When that one finished, they all gave notes and fell into communicating in their secret language of sounds. Today I focused on sketching Jade, as I hadn’t drawn him yet. When he played he was frantic. I could tell he was somewhat contained in this practice, but I could imagine his frenetic energy on the stage would really be something to see. His long hair flicked off his shoulders with every beat and he swung it around to free his face.

They started Track Two, which was the piece they played yesterday that had a lot of changes. They stopped abruptly and then Jade said, “Could we add the...” and then I lost him again. It was impressive how cohesive they were, how they could communicate through the music and make changes through eye contact. They tried one last change, then repeated an earlier part and then ended together on a beat. Marcus seemed pleased.

“Yeah! That sounds good, guys. Let’s do it again and then let’s hear what D has for us.”

They launched into it again and it was cleaner, more together. It sounded really cool and I found myself trying not to start rocking out.

They played it through three more times and then took a break. I walked behind the bar and got a bottle of water. I watched Marcus and Devon out of the corner of my eye. Devon was showing him something he’d written. Marcus was chewing on a fingernail and reading it, nodding.

“This is deep, D. Really good, man. Want to sing it?”  

Devon shrugged and plugged in his acoustic. The other guys sat and listened intently. My heart pumped wildly when I heard the first notes of his singing. His voice was rich and husky. It was so explicit; like you could discern every emotion he was carrying in one line of a song. He didn’t seem super confident with the vocals, but did his best to get through the very emotional lyrics.

Heavy is the weight on my chest

Heavy are the burdens I carry

Heavy is my heart

Heavy is my soul

Heavy is the only thing that keeps me

Here, I’m flattened by this pain

It rips at my heart

It tears at my soul

Heavy is the only thing that keeps me

Living alone

Living without you

It’s crushing me inside

Why can’t I move?

Why can’t I move on

From this heaviness inside?

Heavy are the memories

Heavy is the love I felt for you

Heavy is my heart

Heavy is my soul

Heavy is the only thing that keeps you

Here, you left me behind

I’m buried in my guilt

I’m buried in my pain

Heavy is the weight that drowns me

Living alone

Living without you

It’s crushing me inside

Why can’t I move

Why can’t I move on

From this heaviness inside?

He played a few more chords and then stopped. The room was completely silent.

Marcus stood up first. “That was beautiful, D.  Just beautiful.”

Devon gave a ghost of a smile and put down his guitar. His blue eyes looked wet, but the tears hadn’t spilled. “I’m going to go get some air.” He went out the back door and closed it behind him.

I looked around at the guys and they were staring at me. Jade and Star both had tears in their eyes, Mage was giving me a suspicious look.

“What?”  

Mage walked over to me and took my hand, kissing the back of it tenderly. He spoke quietly, “You might not believe you have a gift, but no one else could have moved him to write that song. Merci, chère.”

I looked at the others and they were all nodding at me.

“Whatever you’re doing, please continue.” Marcus took a long drink of water and followed his friend outside.

I frowned. Why were they looking at me like this? I hadn’t done anything.

“I’ll be right back.” I ran up the stairs and went into the bathroom. I made sure both doors were locked and looked at myself hard in the mirror. Gods, that song was achingly beautiful. Was this what he wrote last night? Maybe the music, but this morning we talked about those things. Maybe somehow that had helped him put into words what he was feeling.

Devon was in such pain, I could barely breathe while listening. He was pouring his heart out, telling us all exactly where his head was. Maggie must have been his soul mate for him to be feeling this much.

I leaned forward on the counter and realized my knees were shaking. I can’t even fathom what it would be like to be loved by someone so deeply. Even more, how could you carry on after they left?

But there was something more. He talked about guilt. What the hell happened for him to be feeling guilty? I had to find out what happened to her. This was getting ridiculous. I’d never been much for solving mysteries. It was time I got some answers.

When I went downstairs only Star and Jade were there. “Hey guys, are you still practicing?”  

They shook their heads. “Nah, they left to go pick up lunch. We might try to learn that song this afternoon. If Devon can play it again.” They looked at each other and then looked down.

This was an opening and I was going to take it. “Guys, I think I need to know what happened to Maggie. I was going to wait until you were all together, but that seems to not be the best way to go about this. Will you tell me what happened?”

They looked at each other and Jade shrugged. “I guess we can tell you. It’s not like it’s a secret.” Star nodded. “It was bad, Jaylene. Real bad. We were all kind of in a bad place when it happened, too, and that’s what made it so horrible.”

I sat down on the edge of the stage near them and waited for them to continue.

Star took a drink of water and heaved a big sigh. “When Burns Like Ice was about to drop in December, we were all insane. We’d been touring non-stop for two years, partying too hard, never in one place longer than a week. We were wrecked physically but pumped for the release. The label planned a big party for us at the Whisky in Hollywood. All of our friends, people who worked with us, industry people, radio people, shit like that. We played a few songs from the album and then shit got crazy. We were all drunk and high on whatever was there. Devon got in a huge fight with our producer, Richard. I’d never seen him so pissed. He even pushed him, and D never puts his hands on anyone. Anyway, Maggie got pissed at him, told him to quit acting like an ass, and that she was leaving. He told her to fuck off. Again, not something he ever did. Then she left with Thomas.”

I wasn’t surprised to hear about the excess, although that seemed a long way from where they were now. I waited for him to continue.

“A half hour or so later Thomas came back all bloody and his clothes were all fucked up. He said they wrecked on Sunset in his fucking Porsche and that Maggie was gone.”

My mouth went dry. It was more awful than I could have imagined.

“He hit a pole and she was ejected from the car. He left the accident to come and tell us what happened. One of the execs drove him back there and he was arrested. They pronounced her dead on the scene. We brought her home to Houma and had her service. Devon was a mess. We had 10 weeks of shows scheduled to promote the new album. He didn’t speak to us the whole time we were doing the shows and when we were done, he came home and that was it. He said he wasn’t going back to L.A.”

Jade wiped at his eyes, “So here we are. Marcus figured if he wouldn’t come to us, we’d come to him.”

Star got up from where he was sitting on the stage a few feet away from me. He cracked his knuckles and the bones in his neck. He hopped down from the stage and stood next to Jade.

“Did any of you ever talk to anyone about what happened that night?”  

They shook their heads. “Marcus said we just needed to keep moving, that Maggie would have wanted it that way. So we did the shows. Star talked about it some. He spent some time in rehab when we were through.”

I looked over at him, figuring my guess had been correct about him and the block. “Did it help,” I asked him.

“Yeah, it did. I was drunk or high all the time, just to stay numb. While I was there, I talked about it a little with my counselor, but really I just focused on quitting the drugs and drinking. It sucked. I needed to get away for a bit.”