“What do you mean?” Danni asked, hurrying to catch up.
Colleen started walking again at a brisk pace. Danni repeated the question, refusing to let her ignore it.
“Oh, just that ye look so distraught. Sure and yer missing your husband as a young bride should.”
She sounded sincere enough, but all the years of Danni’s childhood when she’d been shuffled from home to home never knowing what to expect had taught her to read people. And she knew without doubt that there’d been more behind Colleen’s comment than thoughts of Danni missing “her husband.”
An uneasy suspicion filled Danni as she fell into step beside Colleen. “Do you know who I am, Colleen?” Danni asked softly. The question stiffened the older woman’s back, but didn’t slow her. After talking nonstop thus far, Colleen was suddenly silent. Danni watched her face, noting how her mouth tightened and her brows drew close. “Do you? Know who I am?”
“Oh aye,” Colleen answered with feigned gaiety. “You are Danni Ballagh from America and welcome you are to our island.”
Danni reached out and grabbed Colleen’s arm, halting her quick steps. Colleen tried to look past her, but Danni wouldn’t let her go, wouldn’t move until the older woman met her eyes. Silently they studied one another.
Age had taken a toll on Colleen that exceeded the mere passage of years. It mapped a trail on her face, sagged the narrow shoulders. But it had also put steel in her spine. She exhaled and gave a weary nod. The sweet little grandma persona left with the pent-up breath. In its place stood a woman who’d endured and survived a life Danni could only guess at.
“Aye, I know,” Colleen said at last. “But you, child, I’d wager you’ve not a clue about who you might be.”
Danni sensed they’d reached the brink Colleen had been leading her to all along and though it suddenly frightened her, retreat would only delay the inevitable. Feeling the truth of Colleen’s simple statement settle down low in her gut, Danni asked, “Do you know why I’m here? Did you bring me?”
“Me?” Colleen shook her head. “You think me a conjurer who can wave a wand and make a thing so?”
“Are you?”
Colleen grinned, but shook her head. “It’s a fair enough question, though. A question our people have been asked before.”
“
Our
people?”
“The people of Ballyfionúir. Is it just another island you think you’ve come to?”
“Could you be a little more cryptic?”
Colleen scowled. “I’ve no liking for that tone you’re using, miss.”
Embarrassed, Danni dropped her gaze to her feet and took a deep breath. “I just want a straight answer, Colleen. That’s all.”
“That’s all, is it? Well, there are no straight answers. Not here anyway. Not where you’re concerned. Ballyfionúir isn’t just a village. This,” she said, gesturing wide with her arms. “
This
is the Isle of Fennore. Do you know what that means?”
Danni shook her head.
“Well then, I’ll tell you. The very earth beneath your feet is steeped in lore. Sure and the rest of Ireland talks of fairy hills and what have you, but here the magic is in the air we breathe. In the land and the skies, in sea and the stars. It’s real and it’s a part of us. Only a fool denies it.”
Danni wanted to scoff, she wanted to rail at this slight woman who toyed with her. She’d asked for a straight answer and Colleen was giving her
magic
. Did she think Danni was an idiot? That she would believe such utter
crap
? But even as anger built inside her, Danni could hear Sean’s deep, smoky voice telling her that magic was no joking matter in Ballyfionúir, and she knew Colleen was serious
.
She meant what she said.
Colleen tilted her head and let out a snort of wry laughter. “You’re a fine one, aren’t you now? Here you stand yet still you don’t believe. Is that what living in America does to a person? Makes them doubt what’s right before their eyes?”
Maybe it was. She’d dismissed Sean’s statement the same way she wanted to dismiss Colleen’s. She’d thought him crazy. No, she corrected herself, she’d thought him dead. Who did that make the crazy one?
Danni swallowed and said, “So you did bring us here.”
“No,” Colleen answered and started walking again.
“But . . .” Danni sputtered, following. “But Sean told me you see things.”
“Did he now?” she said, black eyes flashing. “I’ve not known him to tell tales before.”
“How have you known him to speak at all, Colleen? He’s—” Danni stopped herself before she said,
He’s a ghost
. Because he wasn’t one—yet. But in a few nights that would change. There wasn’t a way to gauge what Colleen knew about Sean, though. About things that hadn’t happened yet. Danni had to be careful what she blurted out. “Do you see things Colleen?”
“Aye. And doesn’t everyone? Or is it blind you think I am?”
“Did you see me? Before we came?”
The question was too direct to dodge, and they both knew it. Danni waited tensely for her answer, but Colleen’s lips thinned stubbornly.
“How did we get here?” Danni insisted.
“It’s a burden, knowing what may come,” she said so softly Danni had to lean in to hear. “Knowing what, but never why. Never how or even if.”
Warily, Danni nodded. “Never everything.”
“Aye,” Colleen said, understanding. “Never everything. Isn’t that the worst of it? Like a cyclone, the sight is. It goes though and picks and chooses what it will skip and what it will unearth.” Colleen stopped and faced the valley. “It was years ago that I saw you for the first time,” she murmured. “Right there, you stood next to my Sean.”
Danni didn’t have to look to know she pointed to the grave.
“Why . . .” Danni began hesitantly. “I mean, when you saw me . . . what did I want?”
Colleen cocked her head to the side and stared at her curiously. “Want is it? Is that how it is for you, then, when you see?”
“I think so. I haven’t—I didn’t have visions for a long time. I don’t remember how they were before. Until I saw Sean in my kitchen, I didn’t remember them at all. But I knew what it was as soon as I saw him. And I knew he was there for a reason.”
“And what is it that my Sean would be wanting from you?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Do you not?”
The question was baited, but Danni didn’t bite. After a moment, Colleen sighed and glanced away. “I can’t say what you wanted in the visions. Could be you just wanted me to know you. To recognize you when you finally came.” She paused, eyed Danni, and then went on. “It’s not the answer you’re looking for, but it’s all I can tell you. I saw your coming and I have waited, waited and hoped. Now here you are.”
“Hoped for what?” Danni asked.
“For you to put things right, of course.”
“What . . . why would you think
I
could put things right?”
Colleen’s smile was again grandmotherly, only now the façade was gone. There was love and tenderness in the look. She reached out and patted Danni’s arm.
“Time will answer that one, lamb.”
Colleen started back down the trail, talking as she went. Danni hurried to follow.
“I was just sixteen when I came to Ballyfionúir,” Colleen said. “It was a different time, then. Back in those days, the house had just been built and the family was very powerful, very wealthy—before the hard times, you understand. It’s the whole island they own, did you know that? It’s gifted, the lands we live on.”
She nodded to herself for a moment and then went on. “Me mum, she had the sight herself but she never took to it well, and in the end it drove her crazy.”
“Your mother had it?” Danni said, surprised.
“Oh aye. You’ll find it’s not uncommon on the Isle of Fennore. I’ll never understand why my mother left to live in Dublin, among people who were different. We’re all family here, one way or another. And the gift, it’s hereditary. Did you not know it?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Ah, and now you do.” Colleen looked blatantly satisfied by this revelation. Danni wondered if her own expression was as transparent, if Colleen could see just how lost Danni felt.
“The sight drove my mother to her death and left me penniless, living on the streets. I knew she had family here so I came to Ballyfionúir hoping they’d take me in. My uncle gave me a home and got me a job in the big house. It was a fine job and it’s lucky I felt to have it. On the streets the offers of employment were not so honorable, if you get my meaning.”
Danni nodded. She could imagine the propositions that a young and beautiful Colleen might have garnered. She must have been stunning in her youth. The kind of girl men longed to possess . . .
“When I first came, there were some living here that could recall the days when a MacGrath had always been laird of Ballyfionúir.”
“Laird? Is that like a king?”
“I suppose in some ways, but more like the head of the family. MacGrath land. MacGrath people. Brion MacGrath was of the old ways, and the people, they loved him. No one on his island went hungry nor did a one of them shirk their responsibilities. We took care of his island and he took care of us. You see how it was?”
“Codependent,” Danni said.
“
Coda
what?” she asked, frowning. “’Tis no matter. I see you understand what I am saying. I’d lived here some months before I met Brion MacGrath. I remember it like it was yesterday. I was at his house, upstairs changing the sheets, thinking I was alone as I worked and sang when suddenly himself is standing on the other side of the bed dressed only in a towel and smelling of his bath. He smiled at me and told me I had the voice of a lark. I had never seen a man without his clothes. Me mum was a widow and a stricter woman I’ve never met. She didn’t go for shenanigans.”
Colleen took a breath and went on with the manner of someone taking a plunge into icy waters. “I tried to hurry from the room, but Brion, he tells me to go on about my business. ‘I’ll be no bother,’ says he, and took himself to the changing room, leaving the door as wide as the gates to heaven. I didn’t look, but I knew from the sounds that he was dressing, right in front of me. I finished with the bed and hurried out. Later I was scolded for the sloppy job I’d done.”
Danni tried to interrupt then, wanting to ask why Colleen was spinning this tale. What did it have to do with Danni or Sean and how they’d come here?
But sensing Danni’s intentions, Colleen said, “I’ve a point, child. Let me get to it in my own way.” Danni nodded and Colleen went on. “After that, Brion MacGrath, he was everywhere I was. At first I thought it was chance that brought him to my path. But I soon came to see it for what it was. Even so, I didn’t realize what it meant until he found me one day out in the pastures, by yonder dolmen. It was my special place to sit and think. It was where I had the sight for the first time.”
“You didn’t see things when you were a child?”
“No,” she said, looking surprised by the question. “Not as a child.” Something that crossed superstitious fear with curiosity gleamed from her eyes as she stared at Danni. “I’ve never heard of anyone who had the sight as a child. Until you, that is.”
Danni felt goose bumps rise on her arms. “What did you see, when you were sitting there?” she asked, nodding at the dolmen.
“It was Brion, come for me. I was swollen with child and he declaring his love. In it, he said he’d be done with his wife and he’d take me as the mistress of Ballyfionúir.”
Danni’s mouth was dry and her nerves felt raw. If this was true—if any of this was true—then Colleen was talking about Danni’s grandfather.
“He was going to divorce his wife?”
“No, lass. ’Twas no divorce in Ireland those days. That was a sin against God and government alike.”
“Then how . . .”
“’Twas my very question.
How?
And then I saw, in this dream of mine, what he meant to do. He meant to kill her.”
“Wait,” Danni said, holding up her hand. “He wouldn’t divorce her because that would be a sin, but killing her wasn’t?”
“Oh sure and it was. But who would say it was him? Who would dare point a finger at the man who allowed food to be put on the table? Would be like cutting off your own hand.”
Danni shook her head, unable to comprehend life with such loyalty and dependence.
“Brion was loved in this town and none would stand against him. All of this I saw. And then lo and behold, there’s the man himself, the real man, casting his shadow over me. I wanted to run, but I couldn’t move. ‘You know I’ll have you,’ says he. And I did know.”
“You didn’t try to stop it?”
“Are ye not hearing me, child? Yes, I tried to stop it. I didna want to play my part in it all. I swear to y’ though, the man had some of the gift himself, for he seemed to read what I thought. He kissed me until my young toes curled right into my shoes. A kiss that was as sinful as the man, it was. And then he left me on my own to think about it. I would not be female if I’d been able to forget such a kiss. My first, it was and from a man who knew how to give it.”
“Why are you telling me this, Colleen?” Danni asked at last, watching the obvious discomfort in the older woman’s face and bearing. She didn’t like relating this story, but for some reason, she felt compelled.
“You asked me if I know who you are. I do. Listen so you can know, too.” She paused, took a deep breath, and continued. “He said he’d have me for his own and have me he did, though I kept him at bay for longer than most women could have. He was beautiful, Brion MacGrath, and he was gentle. I began to think that he loved me. I think it still. But that was a terrible thing, for I’d seen what he had not yet thought of—I’d seen where this love would lead us. When I realized I was with child, a horror it was for me to face. I’d fooled myself into thinking it would not happen the way I’d seen. But there I was with a bastard child in me and no place to go but back to the filthy streets.”
“What did you do?”
“It was his wife who offered me salvation.”
“His wife?”
“Aye. She called me to her rooms, and I knew exactly why. I knew she’d seen us or heard the servants’ gossip. I was shamed to my soul as I stood in front of her. She said that I was one of many women before and would be just one of many after where her husband was concerned. She said that he would lose interest and cast me aside, and I would be destitute. She’d seen it before; she’d see it again. And then she offered me a choice—a terrible choice.” Colleen’s voice faltered for a moment. “She told me that for years she’d tried to conceive and had been unblessed. She needed a child to keep her husband with her. I knew what it cost for her to tell me this, though she spoke like she was made of stone, all pride and disdain.