Read Have a Little Faith Online
Authors: Kadi Dillon
She liked that he listened and didn’t comment. It made talking easier. “My mother was appalled that they would suggest her husband would do that. But she finally admitted it when they threatened her with the sheriff and they agreed to let me stay with Lindsay’s family for a while
so he could get better
. That lasted six months.”
She closed her eyes remembering those precious months. Hugs and kisses from Mr. and Mrs. Preston, movie and pizza nights where they could stay up as late as they wanted. She remembered being terrified when she had started her period for the first time and the care Mrs. Preston gave her when she took her to buy pads.
“It was the best time of my life at that point. I saw how a normal, loving family functioned. But when I went back, I knew he hadn’t changed. He fooled the Preston’s
,
but I could see his eyes when he knocked on their door
to come get me
. They were still mean.”
“You didn’t tell the Preston’s his abuse didn’t stop?”
“No.” Sometimes she wished she had. “I didn’t want them to feel guilty for sending me back and it wouldn’t have helped anyway. The beatings were worse. He called me awful names because they had told him I started my period while I stayed with them. I guess that made me more of a girl in his eyes.”
She sighed, skipping over the part about Faith. She just couldn’t go into that tonight. There wasn’t numbness or a pang where Faith was concerned. It was full blown grief. “When I was sixteen, Sam, Linds, and I shared a bottle of whiskey. We were just being teenagers. Lindsay went home and I was a little wobbly
,
so I stayed in the apartment above the bar with Sam. His parents were out of town, anyway.”
She paused and took a deep breath. “Thing
s happened and we ended up… we—”
“I get the picture.”
She looked at him and saw no blame or disgust in his eyes. He was still curious. “My father found out and it was the worst it’s ever been in my life. I thought I was going to die.” Her fingers tightened convulsively on his as she thought of
the fear she had felt for
the tiny life that had been growing inside her womb.
“He never touched me again after that. He died six months ago and I didn’t care. I didn’t want him to die, but I didn’t want him to live. I stayed in the barn until they took his body away. I didn’t even go to his funeral. The town belie
ved I was grieving
too
hard
,
but
I just didn’t care.”
“And you think that makes you a bad person?”
“I’m not sure.”
“It doesn’t, Alex.” He sat up and brought her over his lap. She was straddling him with her hands holding onto his shoulders. She felt safe and secure and for the moment, happy. “You never deserved what happened, do you believe that?”
“I’m starting
to
.”
“Believe it. If Joshua Morgan were still alive, I’d kill him. Believe that, too.”
She looked into his eyes so dark and intense. “I do.”
“And I’m going to take care of Gary Fuller because I promise you, Alex no one will ever lay a hand
on
you again. Not me, not anyone. Do you understand?”
She nodded because her chest hurt too much to speak.
“I love you, Lane.” She closed her eyes as his lips came down on hers. His hands warmed her body that had been so cold before. He reached around and cupped the nape of her neck and deepened the earth-moving kiss.
She unbuttoned his shirt button by button and pulled it from his naked torso.
She hadn’t had the chance to
really
explore him yet, so she took advantage and spread her palms
out
on the hard ridge of muscle on his chest. The black hair was springy under her hands and sent her nerve endings spiraling out of control. Lower, she touched his stomach and made him tremble.
It gave her confidence that she’d never had before.
She unhooked his slacks and laughed huskily when he helped her yank them down.
She had her robe discarded by the time his slacks landed in a heap with his shirt on the floor.
Taking initiative, she leaned down as he
lay
under her on the bed and kissed
his mouth
.
His hand wound around the
dark
mass of her hair as he held her to him. Her tongue probed and prodded and she wrenched a moan from him. Every tremble, every sound coming from her lover sent her higher. She wasn’t self conscious when she took his hand and brought it to her breast. He took his mouth from hers and pulled her up to suck her there. She cried out as sensations pulled at her.
Her
breathing was strained and
she
was arching
against him. His free hand slid lightly down her side until it gripped her hip. With confidence borne
of
pure desire, she slid down onto him. While sensations
pulsed through her ravished system, she saw his hands fisted in the sheets. The corded muscles of his neck were tense while his jaw clenched. She knew what kind of motions caused the
unspeakable
pleasure they sought, but how to achieve them was beyond her
experience
.
He made a subtle movement from beneath her; a simple rolling of his hips. Pleasure swept through her causing her to gasp.
Then
she began undulating against him.
“Like this?” She knew it felt exquisite for her, but he was still clenching his jaw and still gripping the sheets.
She wanted to give him every sensation she was experiencing.
“Exactly like that,” he panted.
“God.”
Alex moved again and again and soon didn’t give a single thought to method. She just felt. They reached ecstasy together and Alex drifted down onto her lover’s body. They fell asleep still joined a
t the waist and at their hearts.
Chapter Ten
The contracts were signed a week after Lane and Alex were married. All
Morgan land and property now belonged to Mr. and Mrs. Lane Tanner as wel
l as Tanner Enterprises. Lane was relieved to have it behind him and was looking forward to life as Alex’s husband. He hadn’t told her any of his plans. He needed to speak with his father first.
His mother’s latest illness had taken a bad turn. Lane was finishing up his bid for his newest idea when his father called to tell him he was releasing the entire project to Lane. He and his mother were taking an extended vacation to their house in the Florida Keys. Lane was to do whatever he thought most profitable with the ranch.
It wasn’t uncommon for Greg Tanner to begin a project and pass it on to Lane when he tired of it. This time, it had worked in Lane’s favor. Lane had wished his mother well and promised to embrace the project.
Lane finished his notes and closed the book. Noting the time was nearing five, he knew Alex would be home soon. He had moved his things into her room the day they returned from their honeymoon. They had spent every night together since making love and learning about each other. Lane had told her about his own parent’s estranged relationship with him and knew she not only sympathized, but she understood.
He
’d
even told her about his first marriage. He still remembered the way she crinkled her nose in distaste when he described the type of woman Roxanne was.
They were complete opposites, he mused as he made his way downstairs. He had assumed a woman like Roxanne was what he had needed but once he had her, his life had become dull.
Or maybe it had never been anything but dull and he was just being sucked into the same cycle over and over. Alex brought color to his world. She was simple, yet complicated enough to keep him guessing. Her beauty wasn’t sophisticated or polished at all, but he found her the most desirable woman he knew.
She’
d had a hard past
,
but was strong willed and independent. Her spirit had never been broken.
And she loved him.
She had told him so the first night they were married. At the time, he had been
overrun
with emotions to return the words. And since then, it hadn’t been the right time. He had ordered a wedding ring for her the day after they were married and had received it that morning. He wanted to give it to her tonight
,
but he hadn’t decided where.
He had realized he was in love with her while riding in the bed of a pickup. He hadn’t realized it was love at the time. But after their wedding night when she had given him the words, he had realized that was when everything had changed.
He wanted to ask her when she had taken the fall for him. And maybe he would when he gave her the words she needed to hear.
Linda was downstairs looking out the window in the kitchen. The sun was just starting to make its way to setting so she was outlined in shadows.
Lane wondered again how any mother could allow her husband to torment her child. He wanted
to ask her, but
Alex wanted it left alone. She was healing, he knew and he would
do anything to
help her be whole again.
“Hello, Lane.” She hadn’t even turned around so Lane sat down at the table beside her chair. She looked older, he thought studying her profile.
Tired.
“Hello.”
“Someone from the retirement home is coming tomorrow to pick me up. You and Alex will have the house to yourselves until you move on to build the park.”
“Actually, we won’t be leaving.” Since he would be telling Alex that evening, Lane decided to reveal his plans to her. “I bought the six-hundred acres back from the city. I’m going to invest in
creating
a rustic getaway. We’ll build cabins and a real corral. Our guests will be able to ride horses, attend lessons, fish, and
just enjoy country living.”
“What you do with the ranch is your business now.”
“And Alex’s.
I’m doing this for her. She’ll be able to keep these six-hundred acres as is. She can make it better if she likes. She can keep the house the same, her horses. The employees can stay. Everybody wins.”
Linda’s breathing had gone ragged. Her face was pinched and pale. Lane mistook her anger and continued in a soothing tone. “I’m sure she’ll be glad for you to stay here. We’ll have to travel some for Tanner Enterprise
,
but Alex would let you live with us if that’s what you want.”
“Oh, sure.
Alex get’s a happy ending, is that it?”
Lane was taken aback. He looked at this pale, furious woman and for the first time in his life
,
he wanted to strike a woman. “Yes, Mrs. Morgan. Alex gets a happy ending. She deserves one.”
“She deserves nothing.” She turned her chair to face him. “She killed her father. Did she tell you that?”
Lane didn’t even blink. “No. She didn’t kill him. He died when his liver gave out on him.
He died because he drank
every day
of his life.”
“
Because of her!
She caused him so much grief. First, she never respected him. She always thought she was better than him. Then she disgraced him and shamed us all by getting pregnant with a bastard child!”
Lane had turned to leave until that last sentence had him gaping in shock.
“She has a child?”
“No. It died. But she had one and brought shame on herself and her family. She still carries on to this day on its birthday. She doesn’t even realize God took it away because it was her sin! So, Mr. Tanner, don’t tell me what that girl deserves. She deserves nothing.” Linda turned her chair and wheeled out of the room.
Lane finally sat down. He was numb and still trying to process everything Linda had just said.
Pregnant.
She’d had a child. Why hadn’t she told him? Slowly, the wheels that were turning in his head clicked into place.
Faith
.
She had been heartbroken when she had mentioned her to him. He had assumed Faith was a horse and she hadn’t corrected him. Seven years, he remembered her telling him. More things fell
into
place. Her father had stopped beating her when she was sixteen; because she had gotten pregnant?
“My father found out and it was the worst it’s ever been in my life. I thought I was going to die.”
He couldn’t be too angry with Alex. She had come a long way since he had met her and was slowly coming out of her shell. It was taking more time than he would have liked but he was waiting for her to give him all the answers. Now, he found that he couldn’t wait.
Tonight, they were going to stay somewhere away from Linda and away from distractions. She was going to open up to him and then they would begin their lives together.
Alex paid the tab for the rest of the feed and thanked Conner Abbot for loading it for her. Her back was still a little stiff, but a few good rides on Joy had made the pain endurable. She drove slowly down the highway with the windows down. The air had taken a dip in temperature within the past week. They were supposed to be getting rain soon.