Authors: Beverly Barton
Tags: #Contemporary, #Fiction, #Romance, #General
"Yeah, sure. We both get what we want." Jake finished off the beer. "Will it bother Louisa if I watch a little TV?"
"No, I don't think so, as long as you keep the volume down."
Jake picked up the remote, flipped through the channels and then paused on a sports network. A baseball game. Yeah, sure, they both got what they wanted. Like hell they did! What he really wanted was a wedding night, something along the lines of the weekend they'd shared last summer.
And what Donna really wants is Edward Fields!
mocked that infernal inner voice.
Donna sang softly to Louisa as the child nursed. She would never regret her affair with Jake because her precious baby had been conceived during that torrid weekend. Having a child was worth the price she'd had to pay—and was still paying. She wanted to believe that Jake would get something out of this marriage, but she knew she was the true beneficiary of today's wedding. In six months Jake would become a part-time father, with only visitation rights.
"Has Mr. Henry named a price for his ranch?" Donna asked, her voice low so she wouldn't disturb Louisa.
"Yeah, he named a price."
"Do you think you'll have a problem getting a loan?"
"Why do you ask?"
"Well, I was thinking about things—you know, the fact that you're doing me a big favor by marrying me and pretending to be my real husband and—"
"I am your real husband," Jake said.
"You know what I mean. Anyway, I'm a fairly wealthy woman and I thought perhaps I could loan you the money to buy Mr. Henry's ranch. You could pay me back when you started making a profit."
Jake sat there on the sofa and stared at her. His gaze narrowed until all she saw were two slits instead of his eyes.
"Thanks for the offer, but I'll handle the financial arrangements for buying the ranch. I married you for Louisa's sake. You don't owe me a thing."
Donna felt as if he'd slapped her. Her eyes blinked. Her heart pounded. She tried to smile, but the effort produced a sickly little grin that vanished quickly. He's a proud man, she told herself. He might be poor, but he didn't want her charity. That wasn't what he'd said, but his irate look conveyed his feelings quite adequately.
She turned her attention to her baby. The child's small head was moist with perspiration. Donna stroked the silky black strands of Louisa's hair. Hair the color of Jake's. She glanced over at her child's father, but he seemed absorbed in the baseball game on television. She closed her eyes, leaned her head back and tried to erase everything from her mind. Especially the sight of the big man lounging on her sofa.
Jake almost nodded off to sleep. He'd had two beers and a long, difficult day. His wedding day. What a joke! He glanced over at Donna. Her eyes were closed. He wondered if she was asleep. Louisa lay in her arms, sleeping peacefully, her rosy cheek resting against Donna's bare breast. At the sight of that full, round breast, Jake's sex hardened. Hell, he couldn't even look at the woman without wanting her.
"Donna?"
She didn't move, didn't respond in any way.
He got up, walked over and touched her arm. She sighed. Realizing she was sleeping as soundly as their daughter, he decided that they'd both sleep better upstairs in their beds. He eased his hand under Louisa, lifted her away from Donna and tiptoed out of the room. He went upstairs, placed Louisa in her crib, then returned downstairs to the den.
He debated whether or not to awaken his sleeping bride. Dear God, she was so damn pretty! Unable to resist the urge to touch her, he ran the tip of his index finger over her exposed nipple. A drop of milk trickled out. He sucked in a deep breath and hurriedly pulled up and closed the flap on her nursing bra. Then he lifted her into his arms. She murmured something unintelligible and cuddled against his chest. Heaven help him! He was hard and hurting and she was cuddling her soft body against him.
Jake carried her upstairs to her bedroom—their bedroom. Reaching down with one hand, he jerked the covers back and slid her onto the bed. He slipped off her robe and tossed it to the foot of the bed. She stretched, turned over and hugged her pillow.
What he needed was a cold shower! He went into the bathroom, stripped down and turned on the water faucets. Five minutes later, shaking like a leaf, he got out, dried off and put on a clean pair of briefs. When he went back into the bedroom, he noticed that Donna had kicked off all the cover and lay there with her gown hiked up, revealing her shapely thighs.
Just get in the damn bed and go to sleep! Don't look at her. And whatever you do, don't touch her again!
Jake lay down, pulled the covers up over them and stayed as far to his side of the bed as possible. He lay there, looking up at the ceiling, telling himself that he could survive this night—and all the nights ahead of him. Donna had suggested they sleep apart, but he'd been determined to win this one battle. He had foolishly thought that if they shared a bed, sooner or later, she'd want him again.
He didn't know how long he lay there listening to the sound of her breathing—thirty minutes or three hours. Suddenly, without warning, Donna turned toward him, stretched out her arm and draped it across his chest. Her fingers caressed him, then spread out through his curly chest hair.
Oh, man! This wasn't fair. He'd been careful not to touch her and now here she was reaching out to him in her sleep. But did she know who she was touching? Did she think she was caressing her beloved Edward?
Jake removed her arm, laid it at her side, then turned his back to her. She rolled over against him, spoon fashion, and cuddled her warm, soft curves against his hard, tense back. She threw her arm around his waist and rested her hand on his belly.
Oh, yeah, he was going to get a lot of sleep tonight! If he didn't like the feel of her against him so much, he'd get up and go to another bedroom.
You're a glutton for punishment, Bishop. You'd rather lay here and suffer with a rock-solid hard-on than give up the pleasure of having her wrapped around you like this.
Sometime before dawn, Jake finally dozed off to sleep. Exhausted. Frustrated. And blatantly aroused.
Six
Jake sat at the kitchen table, talking typical parental nonsense to his six-week-old daughter. Louisa smiled a big toothless grin at her father. Donna had explained that at this stage in her development, Louisa would smile at anyone who looked into her eyes or even at large objects held close to her face. However, Jake preferred to think his daughter recognized him.
"Yeah, Daddy's sugar baby is the best girl in the whole wide world, isn't she?" he crooned to her. "And the prettiest and the smartest and—"
"And she's being terribly spoiled by her daddy," Donna said as she walked into the kitchen.
"Good morning." Jake looked at his wife, who had come down for breakfast in her gown. During the past few weeks she had begun to relax around him, as he had her. They were getting used to living together. Except for the fact that they didn't have sex, their marriage seemed fairly normal. "Coffee's ready." He nodded toward the two coffeemakers—one for her decaf and a second for his regular brew.
"Thanks." She glanced at the electric skillet on the counter. "Have you already had breakfast?"
"Nope, Sugar Baby … sorry, I mean, Louisa and I were waiting for Mommy, weren't we?" He leaned down and rubbed his nose across his baby girl's. She gurgled and gooed. "I fixed pancake batter and thought I'd whip us up some."
"Jake, you're incredible, you know that?" Donna poured herself a cup of coffee and sat at the table. Leaning over, she kissed Louisa's forehead. "Your daddy had to work late last night and yet here he is up with you, and has not only already made coffee, but he's made pancake batter."
"We aim to please." Jake opened the refrigerator door, removed a large glass bowl and placed it on the countertop. "How many do you want?" he asked as he took a large spoon and stirred the mixture.
"Oh, gee, I'd love three, but I really don't need that many. What with syrup and butter, the calories will add up. I should eat one, but maybe I'll splurge and have two."
"Splurging is eating three pancakes," Jake said. "You can have two without any guilt." His gaze examined her quickly, from head to toe. "Besides, I don't see why you're so worried about a few extra pounds. You just gave birth six weeks ago. And I kind of like where most of that extra weight is located." He gazed meaningfully at her breasts.
She rolled up a place mat, jumped up, flew across the kitchen and swatted Jake repeatedly. He cringed in mock fear, held up his hands to ward off her attack and cried out his apology. As they playacted their fight, they both laughed. Within minutes Jake slipped his arms around her against his chest. She threw her arms around his neck and gazed into his eyes. He cupped her buttocks, lifted her up and pressed her into his arousal.
She pulled away from him and stepped back, then took a deep, calming breath. "Fix the pancakes. Only two. Contrary to your male observation of the weight distribution, I know for a fact that most of my weight gain is below my waist."
"Whatever you want," he said as he set the thermometer on the skillet. "Guess sausage links are not on the menu, huh?"
"God forbid!" Donna was grateful that Jake had returned to his playful attitude. She wasn't sure how she would have handled the situation between them these past few weeks if he hadn't been a perfect gentleman. Whenever things became intense between them, she had managed to back off just in time—and Jake had never pushed for more than she'd been willing to give.
Louisa let out a shrill cry. Jake and Donna rushed over to the infant carrier. The moment the adults came into her line of vision, she whimpered, then cooed.
"Looks like somebody thought she was being ignored." Jake gently placed his big hand over his daughter's round little tummy. "You're the center of attention now, Sugar Baby." Glancing at Donna, he shrugged. "Sorry, but it's difficult for me not to call her that. I keep trying to call her Louisa all the time, but the other just slips out."
"It's all right," Donna said. "I suppose there are worse nicknames than Sugar Baby."
"You do realize that even when she's eighteen and has a dozen boyfriends, I'll still think of her as my sugar baby."
Donna stared at Jake as he walked over to the counter. With his back to her, his broad shoulders looked five feet wide. Her stomach did a crazy flip-flop. Why did the man have to be so physically attractive and why had he turned out to be such a caring father? Keeping him at arm's length would be so much easier if she didn't like him. But she did like him—liked him far too much.
"You really intend to be around when she's eighteen, don't you?"
Jake tested the skillet by tossing a few drops of water on the heated surface, then poured the pancake batter into circles. "What did you think, that I'd lose interest in my daughter after our divorce?"
"I suppose that's what I thought at first, but … I'm sorry. I know you've made a commitment to Louisa. It's just that you didn't seem like the type of man who would want to be a father, let alone actually be happy about having a daughter."
Jake flipped the pancakes. "To be honest, you had me pegged right. I never wanted to be a father. My old man was a lousy example. And my grandfather, who raised us, did his best, but he was a cold, stern man who got stuck with his son's four kids. Kids he took because nobody else wanted us.
"I've never been interested in getting married and having kids. I figured I'd die a crusty old bachelor, but when the thought crossed my mind about children, I saw myself with a son. A hard-ass like me doesn't know the first thing about little girls. Tallie was the biggest tomboy around. We usually forgot she was a girl."
"You didn't seem the least bit disappointed that Louisa was a girl."
Jake lifted the pancakes onto two plates, picked up the plates and carried them to the table. "Your breakfast, madam." He set her food down in front of her. "As far as Louisa being a girl, I was surprised—by the fact that you were pregnant and by our child being female. Shook me up pretty bad at first."
"And now?" Donna spread butter over the pancakes, then doused them with a generous serving of maple syrup.
"Now, I'm still intimidated by the fact that I have a daughter. I realize more and more every day what a tremendous responsibility raising a child will be, but … well, I can't imagine my life now without Louisa in it."
Or without you,
he thought. He wanted mother and daughter to be a package deal.
"I'm sorry that I was so stubborn about your being a part of her life," Donna said. "I promise that we'll work out generous visitation rights."
"How about we practice those visitation rights starting tomorrow?"
Donna raised her fork, sliced off a piece of pancake and lifted it to her mouth. "What do you mean?"
"You're supposed to go to the doctor for your six-week checkup tomorrow, aren't you?"
"Yes." Donna put the food in her mouth and chewed slowly, savoring the buttery-sweet goodness.
"How about letting me take Louisa out to the ranch with me, while you're at the doctor's office? I could take off a few hours from work. The boss won't mind. He's a sucker for kids." Jake grinned. He wasn't ready to tell her—not yet—that he was his own boss. "I'd like my daughter to become familiar with the ranch. After all, it's where I'll be living and it'll be her home, too. At least, part-time."
Donna swallowed the food in her mouth, cleared her throat and smiled at Jake. "That's a nice idea, but I've already arranged for a baby-sitter."
"Who?"
"One of my former students. A very reliable young woman named Lindsay Crabtree. You don't have a problem with that, do you?"
"No problem," he said. "It's just that you didn't mention it before."
"I contacted Lindsay and as luck would have it, she's available all summer, so I may hire her to come in several hours every day, to help out. You know I haven't had any luck finding a new nanny and I'll have to find someone before mid-August when I have to go back to work at the college."
"You could take off another quarter and not go back to teaching until after Christmas. After all, it's not as if you need the money."
"Under normal circumstances, that's just what I'd do, but since our marriage isn't a real one and you're not in a financial position to help me, I think it best for me to go back to work in the fall."
"What makes you think I can't help you out financially? I do plan to pay child support."
"I understand your wanting to take your responsibilities seriously. But I thought, since I'm in much better financial shape than you are, we could forego the child support, until you start making a profit out at the ranch."
"You let me worry about my money," Jake said. "If you want to stay home with Louisa until after Christmas, then stay home with her."
Donna stared at Jake, puzzled by his comment and the fierceness of his response. Had she touched a sore spot mentioning money matters? She had come to realize that he was a proud man. Perhaps he didn't want to admit he couldn't afford to support his daughter.
"I suppose I can afford to stay home with Louisa until after Christmas." She reached over and laid her hand on Jake's arm. "I'm a fairly wealthy woman. I certainly have enough money to support myself and Louisa for six months, without my salary from the college. And I wasn't implying that you couldn't pay child support after we're divorced. I simply want you to know that I don't need any money from you."
"It seems you don't need much of anything from me." Jake jerked his arm away from her touch, scooted back his chair and stood. "Leave the dishes. I'll clean them up when I get back."
"Where are you going?"
"Out," he said. "I need some fresh air to clear my head."
She wanted to say something that would stop him from leaving, but what could she say? Obviously, she had offended him, even angered him. She was sorry if she'd bruised his male ego, but she was just trying to ease some of the financial burden on him.
"Your father is not only a proud man, he's stubborn." Donna leaned over the infant carrier and gazed down into her daughter's brown eyes.
Louisa Christine Bishop might have inherited her mother's soft femininity, which rounded the sharp features she had inherited from Jake but in every aspect, she was her father's daughter. Her jet black hair, her dark eyes, her olive skin. A square, stubborn jaw and even the curve of her wide mouth were replicas of the man who had just stormed out of the kitchen.
"You're very beautiful, you know," Donna said. "And when you're eighteen, your father will have to beat the boys off with a stick." Donna laughed. "Actually, he won't need to use a stick. All he'll have to do is give the boys one of his hard, stern looks and they'll run for their lives. You may be thirty before you have a date, you know. Whenever a boy comes over, your daddy will open the front door and scare the heck out of him."
Suddenly Donna realized that she envisioned a future with Jake, a life that included him living in the same house with her and Louisa.
Don't do this to yourself. Don't let your heart make plans involving Jake Bishop. You don't love him, no matter how much you want him. You cannot love him. Not now. Not ever.