Authors: Debra Kayn
She
might not be there, but her spirit haunted him. Late at night, he could swear
her scent permeated the room and left him tossing and turning for hours. More
times than he'd like to admit, he'd rolled, reaching for her, only to bolt
upright in bed, panicking.
He
swallowed hard. Joan's absence was unbearable in the middle of the night.
Joan
smiled up at Brody and Devon. He put his hand on the glass. He'd give his life
to be back with them all.
The
door opened behind him. He turned. A dusty face peeked at him, before the door
swung open fully and Savannah ran for him. He opened his arms and caught her
before she could wrap herself around his leg. Hefting her up, he smiled for the
first time in days. Warmth filled him at the sight of Savannah's grin.
"How
are you doing?" He took in the faded bruises near the corner of her mouth.
"Okay."
She leaned on his shoulder and gazed out the window. "That your
woman?"
He
turned around and looked outside with Savannah. "Yes."
Not
in a real sense, but Joan would always be the woman for him. The one he secretly
wished could be in his life forever, loving him. He'd die a happy man for a
week of her time, to lie in bed with her one more time to taste her sweetness.
Unfortunately, he wasn't the right man for her.
"She's
pretty and nice." Savannah stuck her hand down in the pocket of Trace's
shirt. "She helped my nose."
Trace
nodded. "Her name is Joan. She'll be working here soon. I want you to go
to her if you need someone to take care of you. She can even call me, if you
need me to come to you. Understand?"
Savannah
threw her arms around his neck, and laid her head on his shoulder. He ran his
hand over her slim back, her ribs prominent under her thin shirt. He squeezed
his eyes shut. Appreciating the affection from someone who had every reason to
shun the world, he held her. If he could, he'd whisk her away and keep her safe
forever.
"You
better go play and stay away from the stables and horses. This is no place for
my little Lakota princess. You wouldn't want flies to start buzzing around you,
or you might grow a tail like the horses." He gave her one more gentle hug
and set her down on the floor.
He
pulled a few dollars out of his pocket. "Go ahead and take this, and grab
yourself some things to eat at the store. Remember what I said about Joan. I
trust her and you can too. If you need anything…"
A
clatter out in the hallway sent Savannah running toward the door. She peeked
out first, and then disappeared from view. Trace wiped his hand across his
face.
Be safe, little one.
His
thoughts conflicted with the fact that Joan wasn't part of his life anymore,
yet he had no trouble pushing Savannah's trust toward Joan. Unsettled, he stood
wondering what to do with himself.
How
could he be relieved that Joan was available for Savannah, and in the next
thought want Joan off the reservation? With a pride of his heritage drilled
into him his whole life, he wanted to see his people succeed, and better their
lives.
The
same opportunities found outside the invisible walls of Lakota land offered
more stability and wealth, but he understood the need to stay true to his
ancestors. His people had fought for many lifetimes, and the clinic would help
them continue bettering their life. If only he could guarantee those who needed
assistance, would seek help at the clinic. If not, he'd failed again.
The
last couple of days he'd made an effort to get along with Brody and Devon. He'd
joined them at dinner and even sat in on one of their weekly business meetings.
It was a start, but he still went to bed feeling disconnected from them. He no longer
wanted to rely on any of their help, and he didn't know if that stemmed from
being let down or them forcing him to take responsibility for his own actions.
Devon
pushed through the door, and came up short. "Hey. I didn't know you were
here. I thought you left this morning to get the paperwork done."
He
shrugged. "I changed my mind."
"We're
getting ready to leave for the day. You can follow us back if you're done.
Maybe we can stop on the way home and eat. It's been awhile since we all went
out." Devon leaned against the counter, scribbled a note, and turned back
around. "Come out to dinner with us. It'll be like old times."
He
glanced out the window. Joan had left, and it was safe for him to walk outside
without running into her. He nodded. "Sure, I could eat."
Devon's
shoulder's relaxed and he smiled. "Great."
Chapter Twenty-Six
The
parking lot at Jim's Steakhouse took longer to navigate than Joan planned for
and she ended up parking near the street. She'd forgotten that it was Friday
night in her hurry to run home, change clothes, and bring Katie back with her
to eat out with the guys. After making her excuses last Friday night to join
the men from Lakota ranch for dinner, she'd finally let them talk her into
going out with them tonight.
"Whoa,
this place is crowded." Katie hurried along beside Joan. "Have you
ever been here before?"
Joan
snorted. "Not likely. I wouldn't even be able to afford dessert."
"I
probably shouldn't have worn the boots, huh?" Katie fluffed her hair.
"It's
too late now." Joan slid her purse off her shoulder, and opened the door.
"Remember, mind your manners. The napkin goes on your lap, and whatever
you do…don't cuss."
Katie
rolled her eyes. "I'm not that lame."
"There
are days I wonder…" Joan pulled Katie to her side.
The
Katie that'd returned home was fighting her way toward adulthood. Her sudden
interest in boys drove Joan crazy, and the way she went out of her way to
appear sexy, tried her patience. Over all, she was just happy Katie hadn't lost
her childish excitement for life, and seemed to get through most days without a
sad moment.
Although,
there were still the odd times Katie would mope around and cry for no reason
and confessed to Joan that she wished Dad were still here to solve all her
troubles. Overall, Katie was a good kid, the best sister, and Joan was glad to
have her back in her life again.
A
tall, beautiful woman approached them. "Table for two?"
Joan
smiled. "No, we're meeting friends for dinner. I don't know whose name
they made the reservations under, but they're all tall men with dark hair,
boots, and—"
"Ah,
the Lakota Ranch men. We know them well here." She trailed her gaze down
Joan, and seemed to come away with the idea Joan was lacking. "Come this
way, please."
Joan
glanced at Katie, made a face behind the woman's back, making Katie giggle. She
reached out and grabbed Katie's hand. "I'm glad we decided to come. This
is good for us to get out and have fun once in a while."
"We?
I've wanted to meet the men you've talked about since I got home. It's not my
fault you keep them to yourself." Katie wiggled her eyebrows. "Maybe
one of them is cute."
"Don't
embarrass yourself, sis. They are way too old for you." Joan stepped from
behind the woman, pulling Katie with her. "Thank you."
The
guys all stood when they spotted her and Katie. Joan lost her smile. Trace was
at the end of the table. She had no idea he was going to be here, or she
wouldn't have come.
"Holy
shit, you weren't kidding," Katie whispered.
Joan
pulled herself together and leaned closer to Katie. "Sh. Act cool,
sis."
A
part of her enjoyed Katie's reaction. The men had swept her off her feet the
first time she'd met them too. It'd been exciting, scary, and all their
attention gave her confidence as a woman. It was good for Katie to see that the
opposite sex could be respectful.
"We've
already ordered. I hope you like steak and potatoes." Brody hugged Joan
and turned to Katie. "You must be Katie. I'm Brody."
Devon
stepped forward and kissed Katie's cheek. "I'm Devon. Nice to meet
you."
"H-hi…"
Katie held her hand to her cheek. "This is wild. You're all Indians?"
Katie
bit her lip, and threw an apologetic look to Devon.
He
laughed. "Yep, the real deal. We're full-blooded Lakota."
"That
is so frickin' cool." Katie pulled at a strand of her hair. "Much
cooler than being part Irish and being stuck with red hair."
Everyone
laughed and jumped into action. Brody walked Joan to the end of the table, and
held out a chair for her, right across from Trace. She'd noticed Trace never
took his turn welcoming Katie, and instead nodded his head when it came to
Devon introducing the two. Then he'd slipped his uninterested mask back in
place. His lack of awareness hurt. Not willing to let him see how much he
affected her, she smiled.
"Hello,
Trace." She quickly glanced away and spread her napkin on her lap.
His
gaze pierced her soul. "Joan."
Wishing
she could sit anywhere else, she glanced down the table. Brody had sat Katie
between him and Devon, and her sister looked like she'd died and gone to
heaven, where men were rugged, gorgeous and put on earth so she could bask in
the glory of their attention. She smiled at Katie's shocked expression. This
would be a night her sister would never forget. For that reason alone, Joan
promised herself to stick around and put up with Trace's cold indifference.
"Which
one of you has the horses?" Katie peered around the group.
"We
all do." Brody sipped from his water glass. "It's a working cattle
ranch, but we all take time to train horses too."
"That
is so wicked." She leaned forward, put her elbows on the table, and seemed
to remember where she was and folded her hands on her lap. "I want to give
riding lessons when I graduate, and maybe have a boarding stable for people who
don't have enough property to have a horse."
"Do
you ride?" Devon leaned back in his chair, letting the waitress set down
the plates in front of him.
Katie
shook her head. "I've rode a few times with my friend, Jessie, but she had
to sell her horse. I've never had my own."
"If
you clear it first with your sister, you're always welcome to come out to the
ranch and spend the day riding with us. We have a few mounts that are gentle
enough for you." Devon leaned forward and winked at Joan.
"Really?"
Katie pinned Joan with a look that said she'd do all chores for the rest of her
life if she received permission to go to Lakota Ranch.
Joan
laughed. "That's very kind of you all. I'm sure Katie would love to
visit."
Picking
up her fork, Joan tried to concentrate on her food. She kept her mind blank,
but her body hummed with nervous energy. Over the delicious smell of the
roasted potatoes, corn and juicy steak, there was another fragrance that left
her shaking. A mix between wild grass found on the prairie and male
testosterone she associated with Trace. She was aware of him staring across the
table at her every time she lifted her fork.
Her
feelings for Trace were as strong as ever. Time hadn't lessened the love she
had for him. That's why his lack of communication hurt her so deeply. That's
why she'd thrown herself into seeing the clinic open, and she kept her
friendship with Devon and Brody. Trace mattered to her.
She
worried that the direction they were both going would cut any special
connection that remained to the quick. Sadly, she wasn't even sure if she
mattered to him at all, or if he was able to understand the depth of love she
had for him.
She'd
had no idea why her decision to work at the reservation upset him. She would
have thought he'd be thrilled. Instead, she became the enemy. In desperation,
she'd ask each of the guys, but they stood by Trace with a vengeance and said
it was up to her to talk with him.
Managing
to finish half the food on her plate for appearances sake, she placed her
silverware onto the plate and sat back. The food seemed to settle in her chest.
When Katie finished her dinner, she'd make their excuses and go home.
She
made a point to pay attention to what the others were discussing while she
waited for everyone else to finish their meal, but she found she had nothing to
add to the conversation. Katie was doing a fine job of keeping the talk
flowing.
"Why
don't you pick out dessert, Katie? We'll celebrate your being back home and
able to join us tonight." Devon handed her the small menu.
She
shook her head. "Oh, I couldn't choose for everyone. I wouldn't know what
to pick." She passed the menu to Brody. "Here, you do it."
He
pushed the menu back into her hand and winked. "Go ahead. We like
everything. You can't make a wrong choice."
"How's
the new car working?" Trace asked.
The
food in front of him on the plate sat untouched. She cleared her throat.
"Fine,"
she said.
Trace
lifted his brow. "You've got insurance on it, right?"
"Yes."