Heart Block (17 page)

Sarah lifted one shoulder. “That should count for something.”

She had a point. “It does. But there’s so much more. Have you ever dated a woman?”

Sarah shook her head. “No.”

“Have you been attracted to women before?”

“No.”

“But you’re attracted to me?”

Sarah smiled. “I can say most certainly, yes.”

“So do you consider yourself bisexual?”

Sarah sighed. “Why don’t you sit down so we can actually talk about this? Unless you prefer the inquisition you’ve got going here. I’d like to do my best to explain.”

Emory sat, but this time on the opposite end of the couch.

Sarah took a deep breath. “My whole life, I’ve dated men. That’s just how things were. ‘Pick a man and get married’ was the message I was sent from the time I was little. I never
considered
the fact that there was another option for me. I’ve never personally known anyone who’s gay.”

“Until now.”

“Until now.” Sarah nervously took the last swallow of wine from her glass. “So to answer your question, no, I’ve never noticed an attraction to women before this. Maybe this part of me has been there the whole time, just waiting for me to notice it. I don’t know.” She slid closer to Emory on the couch. “What I do know, Emory, is that since I’ve met you, I feel like so many things I thought I knew about myself have gone straight out the window. I don’t have all the answers because I’m still figuring them out myself.” Emory didn’t respond. Suddenly, she was very interested in the plastic grooves of her bottled water. “Please say something. Tell me what you’re thinking even if it’s that you want me to leave.”

Emory lifted those sky blue eyes and the raw emotion Sarah saw staring back at her was enough to steal her next breath. “I’m thinking that I don’t want to be your experiment in sexuality or your short-lived foray into the land of lesbian before you wake up and realize this isn’t what you’d envisioned for yourself or your daughter. The perfect picket fence is a lot to undo. I’m thinking I don’t want to disappoint you down the road when you realize that I’m not family material. Because I’m probably not. I don’t know anything about kids and what if I—” She turned her head away then.

Something in Emory’s words struck a chord with Sarah, and she moved until she sat alongside her, gently placing a hand on her cheek and forcing Emory to look her in the eye. “You’re a good person, Emory. I know that or I wouldn’t have you around Grace. I would never do anything on a whim where she was concerned. If nothing else, believe that.”

“I do,” Emory whispered, giving in. “I love that you put her first. You’re a wonderful mother. I think my problem is that I don’t have a clear idea of where we’re headed.”

Sarah offered a small smile. “And the lack of control is killing you.”

Emory nodded.

“I think we’re complicated. But I don’t think we have to have it all figured out. Here’s my proposition. Let’s not make each other any grand promises. I like spending time with you. Let’s see where that goes.”

Emory nodded. “So, casual?”

“Casual.”

“Okay.”

“Emory?” Sarah whispered back.

“Yes?”

“If you don’t kiss me soon, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

Emory stared at her wide-eyed, a soft smile forming on her lips. With slow determination, she ran her fingers through Sarah’s hair, lifting it gently away from her face and letting it fall. She cradled Sarah’s face in her hands and moved in slowly, brushing Sarah’s lips ever so lightly with her own, once, twice, and deepening the kiss on the third go-round. Jesus, her brain staggered at the feel of Sarah’s lips on hers, the faint smell of her shampoo, the way her skin felt under Sarah’s touch. Emory tentatively swiped Sarah’s lower lip with her tongue, encouraged when Sarah parted her lips in response.

Sarah felt lightheaded. She melted as she moved closer into Emory and began to kiss her back with an unfamiliar ferocity. Driven by need, she slipped her hands under the hem of Emory’s T-shirt, moving her nails slowly over the skin of her lower back. Before she knew it, they’d sunken into each other and lay on their sides, pressed hip to chest. Sarah was having trouble forming a coherent thought as the heat between them seemed to grow with each passing moment. She was dizzy with desire and knew only one thing, she needed more of this, now.

Emory trailed her lips along Sarah’s chin and down the column of her neck stopping there to suck ever so gently. Sarah trembled in her arms, aching, throbbing even, and pulled Emory closer still. Out of sheer desperate need to touch her, Sarah inserted a hand between them to palm Emory’s breast through her T-shirt, causing Emory to let out strangled moan of pleasure. Perhaps it was the sound of her own voice breaking through, but Emory went still alongside her. In that moment, Sarah became very aware of their surroundings and how incredibly impractical they were.
Damn it.
Emory took a shuddering breath and pulled her lips away. “We have to stop,” she panted in Sarah’s ear.

Sarah turned her head and blinked back at her, saying nothing. She wanted to say something; she tried to say something, but found herself in the depths of an Emory-induced fog and her faculties strangely weren’t what they should be.

Emory sat up, and with a gentle hand, eased Sarah up with her. Emory faced her, tenderly tracing the line of her jaw as she spoke. “Your daughter’s upstairs, and while I’d like nothing more than to continue what we’ve started here, I don’t want to rush you.” And then with a mumbled, “Oh, God,” she captured Sarah’s mouth for a final sensuous, toe-curling kiss. “Sorry, momentary lapse. Had to do that one more time.”

Sarah caught Emory’s hand and kissed the back of it. “I knew I kept you around for a reason.” This got a smile. “And while you’re probably right about the timing, you’re not off the hook that easily.”

“Trust me when I say I don’t want to be off the hook.”

“Good, because that,” Sarah gestured to the couch with her head, “was…”

“I know,” Emory finished, because she did know. Hell, she knew.

They sat there, staring at each other, and Emory smiled proudly at this new level of intimacy between them.

Sarah broke the trance. “I should get Grace.”

Emory stood. “It’s the second door down the hall. I’ll find her backpack.”

The sight of Sarah carrying her sleeping child, more than half her own size was entirely precious. “Do you need some help?” Emory whispered. “Do you want me to take her?”

“Nope. I’m a pro. Check out the mommy muscles.”

“Right.” Emory raced around to open the door for Sarah and followed her out to the car. Sarah gently laid Grace in the backseat, taking extra care to buckle her in without waking her. “Wow, she sleeps through a lot.”

Sarah ran a hand through her hair. “Always has. When she was a baby, I could blare the TV, vacuum the living room, host a rave, nothing. Oh, I almost forgot. Grace asked me to relay a message to you while we were upstairs, but maybe she was just talking in her sleep, as it doesn’t make a lot of sense. Something about someone named Walter needing fresh water. He may get thirsty tonight.”

Emory nodded. “Got it. Tell her I took care of it.”

Sarah grinned and took a playful step into Emory. “Secrets from me already?”

Emory held her thumb and forefinger very close together in response, which earned her a playful poke in the ribs. “Ow. That hurt,” she said, rubbing the spot. “I may file charges.”

“I have to go now.”

“And if I don’t file the charges?”

Sarah squinted apologetically through one eye. “You’re very cute, you know, but I still have to go.” And after a quick check over her shoulder that Grace was still dead to the world, she leaned in for a kiss good-bye. As she pulled away, she lingered, moving her lips very close to Emory’s ear. “Not off the hook,” she whispered, sending goose bumps up and down Emory’s body.

Moments later, Emory watched as the car turned the corner. She stood in her driveway for several delicious moments, the glow in her chest almost painful. There was a part of her that wished she were going with them. Instead, she made her way back to what now felt like a very empty house. It was with a full heart, however, that she placed a very large dish of water on the dividing wall out back along with a few small cubes of chicken for good measure.

It was all very well to make out with another woman on a couch and daydream about it for hours afterward, but quite another to take the first step toward a very big, life-altering declaration to the people she knew and loved. Sarah sat on the corner of her brand new desk, delivered just hours ago to the small office she’d rented for herself across the street from the main office of Immaculate Home.

Three days had passed since she’d seen Emory, and though she should be getting some work done on her new venture, she was desperately preoccupied with thoughts of Emory and dying to share this new development in her life with someone, anyone. While she was never one to keep secrets, the idea of announcing to her parents that she was dating a woman had about as much appeal as an all-night dentist’s appointment. She decided to go for the next best thing.

“We need to talk,” Sarah stated matter-of-factly into the phone. She could hear crashing and shrieking in the background, a sure sign that the boys were up from their naps. “Bad time?”

“Not at all,” Carmen practically shouted with relief. “You’re a grown-up, a hot commodity in my world. Hang on. Let me drag this cord into the closet.”

Sarah waited patiently while Carmen hid herself from her children in what sounded like a lost scene from
Lord of the Flies
. “Maybe I should call you later,” she offered, envisioning one of the boys with blood pouring from his face.

“No need. They’re just having fun. They’re boys. It’s what they do. What’s up?”

Sarah stood and walked to the window. “A lot. I think I might be ready.”

“All right. Ready for dinner? Ready for some football? To rumble? You’re going to have to help me out a little here.”

Sarah took a breath. “Ready to tell you that I have feelings for someone. I didn’t plan on this happening. In fact, it completely blindsided me. It’s not perfect, and there are things still in the way of this being a fully functioning relationship, but it’s a step, right? These feelings?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone before Carmen exploded like a Fourth of July firework. “Ahhh! This is the best news I’ve heard in months! What color should my bridesmaid’s dress be? Green? I like green. I can work it in green. I knew you two were perfect for each other! I told you. I told you! Didn’t I tell you?”

“Wait, Carmen, let me finish.”

“I can’t wait to tell Roman. He’ll be home any minute. We should all go to dinner together.”

“Nope, flag on the play. It’s not what you think.”

“Are you free this weekend? I could get a sitter.”

“Carmen, you’re not listening to me. I’m not talking about James.”

Another pause. “Well, then who?”

“Someone new.”

“What’s his name?”

Here goes nothing.
“Actually, I’ve been kind of dating a woman.”

Silence. “I’ll be right over.”

*

Things were hopping at Global Newswire that Wednesday. Emory had personally handled five new client calls (three of which landed them new accounts), hired two new upper level sales people in the southwest region, and outlined a new leadership development track for promising junior account executives. Now she was moments away from concluding her weekly sales meeting and couldn’t wait to get home and tend to her real life, a feeling that was entirely new to her.

“So as you can see, our selling strategy is working for the mid-range companies, but the larger, public corporations haven’t latched on to the multimedia releases as readily.” Emory moved to the last slide of her PowerPoint presentation.

The end of the day was in sight.

“What I’d like to see happen in the next quarter, at least on the West Coast, is more of the services listed here, offered to our top clients, free of charge for five releases. If we give them a taste of the multimedia side of things, they’re going to see a huge jump in their stats and inevitably want more. After that, ladies and gentleman, we’ve got ’em.”

Her sales staff answered with a hearty round of applause.

“Thanks, everyone. August was a good month. Let’s make September even better.”

After some proverbial patting on the back of her upper level staff as they shuffled from the conference room, Emory sank into a black leather conference chair and finally gave her BlackBerry, which had buzzed several times throughout the meeting, her full attention.

Lucy lingered and tidied up the conference table, a job Emory had told her a hundred times could be left to their assistants. But Lucy was the type who liked to have her hands in everything, and eventually, she’d just given up.

“So that went well,” Lucy mused. “I think you sufficiently fueled their fire. I like this new motivational side of you. You look good in positive.”

Emory stared at her BlackBerry in horror. “Shit.”

“No, it was much better than that, trust me.”

Emory held her head in her hands. “This is so not what I needed right now.”

“It’s surely not that bad. What’s up?”

“Vanessa’s coming.”

“Shit.”

“Exactly.”

“What brings the ice queen to California?”

“Mother’s house sold earlier this week, and instead of just signing the papers and making this as quick and seamless as possible, she’s insisting on doing it in person. It gets better. She’s bringing her Mini-Mes and that robot of a husband along with her.”

“Double ouch. My sympathies, Em.”

“Want to come to dinner with us this weekend?”

“Ah, gee. So much to do this weekend. So terribly much,” Lucy said without a trace of emotion. “I don’t think I can swing it. Wow, so disappointed.”

“Nicely done.”

“Take Sarah.”

“In case I haven’t made it clear, I actually like Sarah, and it’s too early to scare her away entirely. Cruel and unusual punishment does not a good impression make. Vanessa’s not only a bitch, but she’s a snob and would be about as welcoming to Sarah as a cuddly python.”